The Three Laws of Robotics:
1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.
"What's it like to be a robot?" I asked.
"It is difficult to explain, Mistress," Desy said. It handed me my vegetable smoothie and then it stood at ease, allowing me to inspect my house keeping robot.
Frank and I had started leasing Desy (short for Domestic Support-y) about two years ago. Frank argued that Desy could offer 24/7 service, that it would be more reliable because the unit was fully integrated into the House Operating System, and finally, that Desy would not threaten our privacy or nag about pay rises. I suspected that his wish had more to do with status than practicality: Desy's lease could hire us two or three human maids. So initially I'd been against it, preferring humans around, but I had grown accustomed to Desy's impeccable service. Now I wanted Desy to stay, even though Frank continuously raised the possibility of upgrades to a newer model.
I was never completely sure if Desy was an 'it'. Desy's body possessed a vaguely female form, slender with subtle curves suggestive of breasts and hips. But while Desy's head appeared real enough, its body was clearly artificial, as if covered in smooth black latex.
"But tell me," I said. "What's it like? I am genuinely interested."
"To anticipate and fulfill complex tasks, Domestic Units have limited self awareness but not sentience," Desy said.
"Yadda yadda yadda,' I said. "That's the crap I can also read in the glossy PR leaflets. But
what's it like
? If you can anticipate and fulfill complex tasks, you can also find a way to explain that to me."
Desy looked away and closed its eyes, an indication it was fully dedicated to this task. After more than two minutes, it turned its face towards me.
"Mistress," it said. "I found something. A form of Life Action Role Playing. Through this LARP, if you wish, you could experience what it is like to be a robot. With your permission, I can order the necessary materials and prepare for this experience to take place tomorrow."
"Do it," I said.
Frank left after breakfast and Desy invited me to come down to the basement. My McMansion contained an extensive underworld I hardly knew existed. It led me to a room where some hardware was faintly humming.
"The House Operating System," Desy explained. "From here it controls everything, heating, ventilation, roomba's - and me."
It picked up a zip-lock bag, containing a small gadget.
"USB 6.0 Human Interface Wireless Connector," Desy continued. "Mistress, I reviewed your medical file in the HOS and noted that about a year ago a Metabolic Coordinator Implant was installed. There's a USB 6.0 port for updates."
I reflexively rubbed my neck and felt the port just below the hairline.
"I had forgotten about it," I said.
"It's part of the MC-Implant's programming to be inconspicuous," Desy said. "The metabolic enhancement has to feel natural, otherwise it might inconvenience you, Mistress. We can use this port to link you to the HOS. I already downloaded the necessary software to the HOS, you just have to confirm the settings first, and then plug yourself in. I must explicitly warn you that you will be under the full control of the HOS and obliged to follow its commands."
"Just like you," I said, "That was the whole point. Which settings should I confirm?"
"The HOS will run a LARP program, three hour duration, defaults for emergency early termination. The HOS will identify you as 'Romy', short for Robot-Maid. You will play the role of a robotic housekeeping unit, performing necessary tasks as ordered by the HOS."
I was excited; I had wondered what it was like to be a robot, but now I would know. I would
experience
.
"Settings confirmed," I said. "Plug me in, Desy."
Desy's cool smooth fingers touched my neck. The gentle push on my spine when it inserted the Connector made me twitch.
I immediately felt...
hijacked
. The HOS immediately forced my body into action.
"Unit 'Romy' is not suitably prepared for its task," I heard myself say. "Please assist in preparation."
I'd been wearing comfy loose fitting sportswear, and this now felt completely
wrong
. I had to get out of this and change into something more appropriate.
"Unit 'Romy' must follow to the Robot-maid maintenance room," Desy said, clearly expecting this.
I stumbled to a room across the hall. Part of me observed boxes, a chair, an egg-crate mattress and some specialized electronics with recharging cables attached, but then the HOS focused my attention. I undressed completely and folded my clothes, my hands moving awkwardly because they had a life of their own while I wanted them to do things. I felt weird, not ashamed for being nude, but clumsy and confused.
Desy opened one of the boxes, and retrieved a one piece latex catsuit with a back zipper. Without words, the HOS made clear what was expected; suddenly I just knew I had to put on this outfit. I sat down on the chair and started getting dressed again. I had some trouble pushing my feet all the way down into the integrated boots. When I got up to push my feet further into the sheaths, I almost fell, before the HOS intervened. I wanted to curse that I could not stand on five inch heels but the HOS intervened again.