~~~~*~~~~
When I wake I am in a very bad mood. I almost consider finding an Avian to fight just because. That red mist that falls when I anger, it grips me now and I have no one to fight. I don't even know why, but I seethe inside.
Not even fishing and spearing some good large fish sates my lust for violence. Catching bugs in the long grass and searching for fruit and leaves just brings it to the boil.
It's only the wild burn in my shoulders and arms as I climb the rising thermal instead of gliding up it that satisfies my need to disperse the wild energy in my body. I washed this morning in the ocean. As it lapped at my feet, I used handfuls of sand to scrub at my skin but still I smell my anger leeching from my body.
It is nearly midday and I'm angry about that as well. It is time I could have used for searching, though I have no idea where to search anymore. All I knew was that I needed to get food and I needed to fight someone. So, I did.
My mind bombarded me with imaginations of bloody deaths and rogues raping and I tried to push down my rage and turn that energy into the moment and the things I had to do. I still burned with it when I landed on her ledge and made my way into our cave. The one she had decorated for me with our memories.
The fish that had been there yesterday were still there and beside them another three. Someone was bringing her food. That thought drove me further into the red mist as I thought about a rogue courting her. The food I'd left was gone and on the wall above it there was a picture of a cake with eighteen candles on it.
It dropped me to my knees with my remembered musings last night before sleep. Can she hear me? Did she know? A new picture at least means she is still alive and nearby. There are no tears for me. Just wild rage and no one to turn it upon.
The little cave stinks.
Hours later, I have flown to the third island and broken branches, lashed them together with vines and swept the little cave clean. The bucket I'd left on the beach, I fetch and use to wash the rock clean. The six fish, I toss on the ledge outside as a sign to whoever is bringing them that they are not required. For good measure I piss on them. It felt childish much later when I thought about it, but it was something I needed to do.
So distracted was I with this wild energy that I didn't see her return. But when I returned to the little cave, the food was gone from my basket and in its place, a feather.
A single red and gold feather from her tail. As I hold it, I remember how proud she was of her newly fledging tail; her little bum shake in the hut that morning and her father's light-hearted reproach. I think also of how Tching fanned his and his wild displays while he danced and wondered what sort of dance a human would do.
I was Erry's partner for her debutante ball when she was sixteen. It was a silly custom, long since faded from human history but one that our school liked to use as a social exercise. We danced the Pride of Erin, the Swing Waltz and some other thing I'm trying to remember as I shuffle around her newly cleaned cave like a wally, pretending she is in my arms as she was back then. Humming the remembered tunes and laughing when I misstep.
No idea... I have no idea how a human dances for an avian I decide, and return to my little 'human camp' determined to be up at her cave with food much earlier tomorrow in case I can intercept her visitor. Before I left, I took her egg from my basket. I held it to my heart and wished so many things. Then something told me set on the stone beside the water where she'd left her feather. Maybe it would remind her of our love.
I dream of storms and lightning. Of cold and damp and fear. Of thorough arousal and need. My heart burns in my dreams. My arms itch, my back itches and I toss and turn all night in my little sand bowl.
When morning comes, it's first green hints creeping over the hills and spilling onto the ocean, I'm already stirring coals and cooking fish. I plan on catching bugs on the middle island through the day and just want to at least leave breakfast and maybe catch the thief. The one who wants my Eris.
This morning is particularly warm, and I feel like I can 'see' the swirling pillars of warm air that rise off the shore. My fingertips twist me around them and my wing suit billows with their updrafts. In no time I am gliding down to her ledge with my fish. I wait inside the cave near the smokey smelling offerings.
I've placed them underneath the birthday cake picture as usual and my heart soars noticing she has claimed her egg. I spend my time looking at her other artwork. There's a sketch of her family. One of her scooter. Something that reminds me of my bike. So, I talk to her about them. I tell her of Ornhek's rejection. Of her mother's insistence I leave. How Ernst wanted to fly with me.
I tell her about the battery on her scooter and the work I did on it. Describing in detail the process of removing the old batteries and discharging them using an old flashlight bulb. I talk to her about all of her pictures like she is right beside and then suddenly someone is.
Someone furious and familiar.
"You!" He throws his three fish at me, and they flap about on the floor. "Human!"
It is the rogue I fought first where Lyrin held court. Before I broke the other's arm.
"Mine! Go!"
And here it is. The place for all that wild energy. The red cloud lowers and I hear my shrieks and screamed violence. When I am done, I heave deep breaths and look down on him at my feet. He lives. His feet hang strangely. His throat is a mess of wounds that should leave him no doubt as to my intentions.
"My name is Todd. Her name is Eris. She is mine, avian. Do not come again." I seethe at him, inviting him to rise again with a gesture of my hand. His feathers litter the floor from my wild slashing, and he bleeds in countless places, flowing onto the rock. He crawls back to the edge of the ledge and falls over and I watch him glide away.
It is a long time before the pain clears a path through my rage. And then I look at my limbs and discover my own wounds. They are quite frightening, and I quickly pull the breather to allow the alien air to help. Some close. Most don't. My head swims but not with stars. I weaken slowly as my chest heaves against the thick air.
A noise startles me.
Turning I see her. She is crawling through the crack in the back of the cave. Her eyes are red and timid. Her tail dances behind her. She is here, her egg cradled close to her heart.
I am not sure if it is my wounds or the emotion that drops me to my knees. I cannot see her properly, but she nuzzles into my chest and offers me her neck. I cradle it gently and by god, she stinks. There is blood on her arms. Fish scale in her feathers. Excrement on her feet and ankles. Her hair is matted and lank with oils.
But she lives. I have found her and my heart flies higher than even I have. Then she is gone again. The cooked fish gone. Her touch gone. Her gone. The cave is empty, and she has slipped back through that tiny fissure in the rock.
No amount of pleading, of talking helped. She would not come out and I could not squeeze in.
Again, I raged. She was so close and yet so far.
My rage fades and I tire. Far too quickly with my breather out. Something is wrong. I bleed somewhere. There is a pool under me of my own blood. My leg is thick with it. Consciousness is failing so I take to the ledge and fall.
With every last ounce of concentration I have, I twist myself toward the medical outpost. I remember seeing it. I do not remember landing.
~*~
"Twit, twit, twit..."
"Twit, twit, twit..."
My eyes blink and open. "You know on earth it's not nice to call someone a 'twit'. It means stupid."
Mavisk laughs. "Here, it means hello. But perhaps stupid is more suited to you. You nearly died, foolish boy. You had a nick to your femoral artery. You have required a lot of plasma. It's Avian plasma, so we weren't sure if you would reject it, but by the look of these... It shouldn't hurt."
"Ow!" She shows me a stupid ginger feather. "The mother has taken a shine to your story, Todd Parker. I take it by your injuries you have found your Eris?"
"Yes! I have to... Go! Now!" Again, I am soundly strapped down.
"Haha. Yes, you do, but not yet. You are weak and your combatant heals. You need to heal."
"He is here?"
"Hmmm. And not very well. He tells everyone of a human who is the size of two avian and fights like an Arcadian god. A feathered human with talons and the strength of three avian. His friend with the broken arm laughs at him and calls him a poor loser. Haha. It is lucky he can fly because he may not walk again."
"Mmgrrr..." Her hand settles on my chest.
"Calm now warrior. Shh. You have found her. You have done more than any other human could. You need to become well now and then you can go and win her."
"What is wrong with me? What must be fixed!"
"Shh... Todd. You are mostly healed. Your body needs to replace the plasma with the blood cells your own body is making. Where is your breather?"
I rubbed at my nose. "I don't know."
Her smile is infuriating. "I told you to watch your back, but you didn't see these coming, did you?"
She waves the stupid feather at me again and says, "You are not aging like a human in our atmosphere. Leave it out for now. I will be back later to make some observations. You will sleep now."
"How am I supposed to slee-" Warm nothing flows into my arm, and I wander the dreams of gods.
I dream of washing. Of scrubbing myself with sand, shrieking at the night sky while I tug talons through my hair. I scratch at lice and fill a bowl with urine to clean the filth from my legs. I laugh at things. At memories from earth and with small hope. A small hope that I let fester in my chest. I eat grain and bugs and sneer at fish. I curl into a content quiet ball on new bedding in a very clean cave and listen to the lightning and thunder outside.
