This story deals with female on male sexual activity of a questionably consensual nature, readers bothered by such may want to skip it. All characters in sexual situations are assumed to be at least 18 years of age. And lastly, to all the nitpickers out there, I am well aware that real shieldmaidens (probably) didn't behave like this.
Accidental Time Traveller
Louie struggled to get his bearings- where the hell was he? Only a few seconds ago he was in a lab at the university, on a balmy afternoon, observing one of the more- controversial professors displaying his supposed time machine. The old bastard threw a switch, then started to freak out when the machine began making strange noises...
A bright flash later and Louie found himself shivering in an empty field in the dark of night. He looked in every direction, thinking some of the other spectators or the professor might have ended up here too, but saw he was alone- what to do now?
Louie kept looking around, even though there was obviously nobody else here, until out of the corner of his eye he noticed what might be a road in the distance; bereft of any other ideas he sprinted toward it.
Unfortunately, as Louie feared, it turned out to be a dirt road- or it had been, before a recent rainfall had turned it into what may more accurately be described as a mud road. There were horse-hoof prints in the muck as well as boot-prints, though the latter were flat and missing the tread patterns found on the soles of modern boots. Both sets of prints went in the same direction, so Louie turned and set off in that direction too.
The muddy path led him to a small seaside village consisting of maybe twenty buildings at the most; aside from one that looked like a church and another that was probably a tavern, the majority of the structures present appeared to be family dwellings. Few people were out and about, most of them leaving or approaching the presumed tavern.
Louie approached one of the villagers hoping to learn where he was and what year it happened to be. Unfortunately, when looking his way, the villager, covered in mud (or at least Louie hoped it was mud) seemed taken aback at Louie's anachronistic clothing; after getting over his initial surprise the peasant leaned forward to get a closer look at the spectacles on Louie's face.
Louie was about to say something when the sudden clanging of the church bells startled him, in his confusion he looked about- and froze at the sight of a volley of flaming arrows lighting up the night sky.
By the time Louie realized the wise move would be to seek cover most of the villagers- including the one he approached- had already rushed to their homes, either to hide within or flee from with their families, in the case of the few houses unlucky enough to be struck by the arrows and set ablaze.
Louie ran to the nearest house and pummelled the door with his fists; after the longest few seconds of his life someone on the other side opened the door and dragged him in before barring it closed again.
Huddled with the other occupants Louie shuddered at the sounds of the invaders yelling, followed by the cut-short screams of those they fell upon. When the door was struck by weapons but seemed to hold Louie dared to hope he and the family were safe- until a pole axe slashed between the door planks and split the bar holding it shut.
As an armoured boot finished the task of breaking the door down the realization it was fight or die gave Louie a sudden measure of courage; springing to his feet he grabbed a nearby skillet with both hands and swung it into the face of the first invader to barge in, striking him across the eyes. The attacker fell to the floor, and a suddenly emboldened Louie swung his improvised weapon at the closest of the intruders that followed.
Unfortunately, this invader blocked Louie's swing with a sturdy shield, then kneed him in the gut; falling on his back he started to rise- and froze when he felt the point of a bastard sword press against his Adam's apple.
He looked up at his assailant. The attacker's frame was well-hidden behind weather-worn armour, a head was concealed by a helmet except for some blonde locks that fell past the breastplate and a pair of intense eyes. The sword-bearer shouted something at Louie in a language he failed to understand, but something else caught him off guard- the attacker's voice sounded like a woman's voice!
Again, the attacker shouted at Louie; when it was obvious that he didn't understand those words either she withdrew her blade then grabbed him with the arm her shield was banded to and pulled Louie up until his face was centimetres from her own. Louie realized the attacker was indeed a woman, albeit one who wore more practical armour than any of the cosplayers he'd ever seen.
Sheathing her sword, the woman removed her helmet and Louie gasped; for a violent depredator who was holding him by the throat she was not unattractive. Another surprise came when, after looking him over she gave a faint smile- as if she found the strangely dressed man pleasing to the eye as well.
The woman roughly shoved Louie outside; some feet from the dwelling he looked back and saw the other invaders herd the family that had called the dwelling home toward a larger group of captive villagers.
