A Wee Irish Tale

There's nothing that decimates the male ego like being invisible to one's crush. Sean O'Malley had been trying every trick that he had ever heard about to capture the attention of the fair Cara O'Boyle, the most beautiful maiden in his village, for as long as he could remember. Sean had been swooning for her from the time they were youngsters in school, but Cara didn't seem to even know that he existed, and Sean had finally concluded that his efforts were hopeless. He knew that he was just an average guy in pretty much every way -- a nice guy, but nothing particularly of note. Not like that son-of-a-bitch Patrick Brown who seemed to attract the romantic attentions of every woman that laid eyes on him. If only he could be more like that son-of-a-bitch, maybe then Cara would notice him.

But time continues to move forward, and the unpleasant reality of unrequited love was sinking in and starting to take its toll on his overall demeanor. One evening at the local pub, after again failing to catch Cara's attention, or that of any of the other eligible women for that matter, Sean's best mate, Dermot, offered him a little reprieve. "These little yummies will take you to places you can't even imagine. They're pretty strong, so don't take more than one though." Dermot pressed the small bag into his hand under the table. "Be careful, but enjoy a break." With that, the men finished their pints and headed out into the night.

Sean had the following day off of work and, after taking a couple of Dermot's "yummies," headed out for a long walk into the woods at the edge of town. The light raindrops falling on the emerald grass shimmering beneath Sean's feet as he wandered further into the forest created a noticeable rhythm as he walked, and his stride soon fell into time with their beat. Droplets striking the leaves on the trees above him provided the musical notes to complete the symphony and the forest around him was creating a spectacular performance. As he crossed over the pink and orange waters of the creek rushing below him, he was enthralled by the majesty of nature. Above and to his left, birds congregated in the purple sky as the rainbow-colored cotton-candy clouds floated above them. To his right, a rabbit sped by, the dust from beneath the tires of his motor-scooter scattering into the wind behind him.

Sean had never taken magic mushrooms before, and the hallucinogenic effects that they were having on his mind were both strange and curious. It all seemed so real, and yet nothing seemed to make sense. He was clearly stoned, but the full impact of the drug hadn't fully kicked in yet. With the last cognizant thoughts that he could muster, Sean concluded that laying down under the canopy of a large tree might be a wise move as the nonsense that his mind was registering as fact was becoming more and more suspicious.

Time kind of stopped. He wasn't really sure if he had slept or if he was dreaming or if the world had just changed about him. A bright light from somewhere above had found focus right on his face, however, and had stirred him to some level of consciousness. Shielding his eyes the best he could from the vivid spectrum of colors, he heard what he thought was a giggle coming from somewhere to his left. Then he felt it. A sharp kick to his left hip came from the direction of the giggle, and he instinctively rolled to his right from the stinging pain.

"Hey! That hurt!" he complained.

"Get your ass off me pot-'o-gold!" the voice admonished with a seriousness that was almost comical under the circumstance.

Sean was beyond confused. "Who...who are you? What are you talking about?"

"I said, get your sorry ass off of me pot-'o-gold, NOW!"

Sean blinked. Standing next to him was a small human-like creature, dressed all in green with bright, flowing red hair. He rubbed his eyes. All semblance of reality had vanished.

"Look asshole, just because you're three times me size and human doesn't give you any stake to me treasure. It's mine and you can't have it!"

"I...I don't know what you're talking about," he heard himself say. "I was just taking a nap and I'm pretty fucked up, actually."

"You know the legend. At the end of a rainbow sits the pot-'o-gold, and that's just where you were laying. It's mine! Now git!" The creature kicked him again, this time the point of its shoe striking just below Sean's ribcage. As confused as he was by the circumstances around him, Sean instinctively took a defensive position and reached out his hand just as the third kick was being delivered, catching the assailant by surprise and sending it to an awkward faceplant into the wet leaves below them.

"Calm down, little fella! I'm not going to hurt you and I'm not a thief. I was just taking a nap when I was woken up by that bright light." Sean laid one leg over its back, pinning it face down below him. "Settle down, and let's talk." In his mind, Sean knew that the mushrooms must be fully kicking in, but the pain in his ribcage was still real and he really didn't want to experience any more of it. "What do I call you?"

"You can go fuck yourself! But if you have to know, they call me Maeve. Now, let me up!"

"Maeve? You're a girl? What are you doing out in the woods all by yourself?" Sean asked, with a bit of concern. He might be stoned, but he still had some base presence of mind, and didn't want anything to do with any kid out alone in the woods.

"I'm not a fuckin' girl! I'm 246 years old, you dumb fuck! Now get off of me!"

Sean shook his head to clear it, realizing the absurdity that he thought he was actually talking a leprechaun. "So, since I caught you...Maeve... you have to give me your treasure, right?"

"That's just the bullshit that people have been making up about us for years. The treasure is mine and you can't have it. Let me up!"

"Oh, I think the treasure-thing is real or you wouldn't be caring about it so much. You leprechaun's are sneaky little folk, aren't you! I read that if a human catches one of you, you either have to give up your fortune or you have to grant three wishes."

"Sorry, numb-nuts, you're mixing up the whole leprechaun thing with the genie-in-the-lamp thing. For fuck's sake, how stupid can one human be? You only get one wish, but then I get to keep the treasure."

"So, I get a wish, or I get the treasure. That's the deal, right? Promise me and I'll let you up."

"Fine, fine! Just get your fuckin' leg off of me and you get your choice."

Sean raised his leg and Maeve jumped to her feet, brushing the wet leaves and grass from her tiny body covered by a long green dress. "So, what'll it be then, ass-wipe. My fortune or something better?"

Sean sat thinking. Money would be great, of course, but if he was really being honest with himself, what his heart desired most was to win the affections of the fair Cara O'Boyle. It had become obvious to him that an almost magical transformation of Sean O'Malley was going to be needed to pull this miracle off, and perhaps, just perhaps, this was his one-in-a-million chance.

"I want you to make me desirable to women. Especially one. There is a lovely young lady in the village by the name of Cara O'Boyle, and I want to be made attractive enough to her for her to fall in love with me."

"Hahahaha!!!" the little gnome laughed, her body doubled over. "I told you that you get a wish, not a full-blown miracle! You really are a dumb-shit!"

"Then I guess I'll just be taking my treasure and heading home," Sean said, starting to move toward the spot where he had been laying.

"Not so fast, smart-ass! Okay, you wanna be a stud and attract this fine young lass. I think we can make that happen, but you're gonna have to trust me." Maeve smiled mischievously, and for a moment Sean wondered if he had just made a serious miscalculation, but it would be worth it if she could make him desirable.

"I want Cara!"

The two looked at each other for a long time. Finally, Maeve broke the silence. "Alright then, let's have a look at you. Stand up and strip." Sean rose to his feet and slowly started to peel off his clothing. Maeve gave him an appraising look up and down, her face showing nothing but indifference.

"Probably what Cara thinks when she looks at me...if she looks at me," Sean thought.

"Now lay back, close your eyes, and trust me." Sean did what Maeve asked and laid his now naked body back into the grass. "No matter what, keep those eyes closed or this won't work. Got it, fuck-face?"

"I've got it. This better work or I want that treasure! At least I can be rich!" Sean silently prayed to anyone who would listen that it would work.

"First, we're gonna work on your height." Sean felt tiny hands grabbing under his arms as the little body started to pull. Then, after a scurry, he felt her at his feet, again pulling hard. "Okay, that was the easy one," she said.

Next, he heard what sounded like clothes falling into the grass alongside him. Sean swallowed hard, but kept his eyes closed tightly. Then he felt it. Maeve's little, naked, elfin body straddled his chest, and he could feel his blood beginning its decent into his cock. "Now, about that face of yours..." Sean felt his head enveloped by Maeve's long hair and then what could only be her two little breasts across his closed eyes. It took every ounce of strength that he had not to look, but his desire for Cara was stronger, and so he just allowed himself to feel her magic. Maeve's breasts tickled his face, his cheeks, and finally settled with a nipple tracing along his lips. "Good lad! I thought you'd have opened your eyes by now. Let's have a go at this body." Sean could feel her decent, her naked flesh rubbing against his chest and abdomen. His dick was now at full mast and he was overwhelmed by a weird combination of hopefulness, embarrassment, and arousal. But he kept his eyes closed tightly.

"All right! We've fixed the height thing, and the body thing, and somehow made that ugly puss of yours look somewhat presentable. Only one more miracle to pull off. Ready?" Maeve giggled as her hands reached out and began to stroke Sean's stiffened member. "Don't you dare let anything out, now, you understand? It all has to stay inside of your little soldier for this to work." With that last pronouncement to the very aroused man beneath her, Maeve started to pump. Her grip was tight and her motion rhythmic, and Sean could tell that this better be a short magic spell, or he wasn't going to make it. He started to think about football, about nuns, about his dear, saintly mother. Anything and everything to take his mind off the stimulation that Maeve was giving to him. Just when he thought he couldn't last any longer, she mercifully stopped. "Well, young man, my work is done. When you get back to the village, the young Cara won't be able to resist you. Keep those eyes closed for one more minute. I'm taking my treasure and I'm leaving. If you open your eyes before I'm gone, the whole deal is void. Good luck!" With that, Maeve climbed off of him, and he listened as her footsteps faded into silence before finally opening his eyes.

Sean didn't really feel any different, other than his balls were a little achy from his lack of release. He gathered up his clothes, and now in his more sober state, quickly dressed and headed back into town, anxious to learn if the magic would work.

The sun was just setting in the horizon and the locals were beginning to congregate at the pub for another evening of socialization, off-key singing, and excessive drinking. Sean hurried to discover if Maeve had tricked him, or if maybe, just maybe, her magic was real. Opening the door, he quickly scanned the room, hoping that his singular objective was sitting in her usual spot back at a corner table. Sure enough, like a beacon of light, the beautiful Cara sat with a pint in front of her. And then his heart sank a bit. This night, that son-of-a-bitch Patrick Brown appeared to have his sights on adding a notch to his bedframe by seducing Cara! Thankfully however, between them were four of Cara's best girlfriends, each of which would have given ten years of her life to feel Patrick between her legs if given the chance, and they were each doing their best to become his evening's notch. From across the bar, it was obvious that these young lasses were only a temporary obstacle for him, however, and Cara was clearly in Patrick's sights.

But Sean now had a handsome face to offer too! And more height. And a better body. And, if he got the chance, an admirable cock to pleasure her with! All of his usual feelings of inadequacy that only yesterday would have had him turn around at the door and head for home defeated rather than competing for Cara had faded. He knew that, thanks to Maeve and her spells, he was finally enough of a man to be worthy of her attention, and rather than fleeing, confidently walked directly past Patrick and the pub-girls and took a seat in the chair next to Cara.

"Hi Cara! You look lovely tonight."

"Hi Sean. Lookin' pretty handsome yourself!" The magic HAD worked! Cara not only noticed him, but she called him by name and complimented him too!

"Cara, I've been trying to gather up the courage to walk over to you for as long as I can remember -- since we were kids actually. I would really like to get to know you better." Sean could hardly believe what he was hearing coming from his mouth. "Would you mind if I bought you dinner?"

Cara reached out her hand and placed it tenderly on his arm, her stunning eyes boring directly into his soul. "Sean O'Malley, I have been waiting for years for you to get yourself over here. I was starting to think that you hadn't ever noticed me. I would love to have dinner with you!"

The magic had worked! Cara had not only noticed him, but he had bested that son-of-a-bitch Patrick Brown and was now sitting with the girl of his dreams. By the time the barkeeper announced that the pub was closing, Cara and Sean had lost themselves in each other, and headed out onto the darkened street as a couple -- the beginnings of love emerging within them. "Walk me home?" she asked, holding tightly to his arm.

"Absolutely!" As they strolled along the street, Sean's eyes caught their reflection in a shop window and he stopped abruptly.

"What's the problem, Sean?"

"Oh nothing," he said, a bit puzzled. Sean had been expecting to see a more chiseled face, a more muscular physique, more height, and a huge bulge in the front of his pants, but instead, just saw himself reflected back. Nothing seemed to have changed about him at all, except, apparently, for his confidence in himself. The two continued their walk to Cara's house a few blocks away, she holding his arm tightly and pressing her body against his as they walked. Arriving at her front porch, Cara turned, and without hesitation, planted a warm, tender kiss on Sean's lips, pulling his body close to hers in a warm embrace.

"Can I see you tomorrow, Sean O'Malley?"

"You can count on it, Cara O'Boyle!" Cara opened her front door, and with one more adoring look back at him, disappeared inside. Maeve had delivered, but apparently not in the way that he had expected. For his entire life, Sean had thought of himself as undesirable and inadequate, and had assumed that the face and body that God had bestowed upon him just weren't enough for the ladies -- especially for Cara. But this night, with the confidence that the little leprechaun had given to him, he had finally had the courage to connect with the girl of his dreams.

"Thanks, Maeve!" he said with a smile to the dark sky above him. A sudden rush of wind whistled past, and he thought he heard the faint sound of a familiar giggle off in the distance.