There's nothing that decimates the male ego like being invisible to one's crush. Sean O'Malley had been trying every trick that he had ever heard about to capture the attention of the fair Cara O'Boyle, the most beautiful maiden in his village, for as long as he could remember. Sean had been swooning for her from the time they were youngsters in school, but Cara didn't seem to even know that he existed, and Sean had finally concluded that his efforts were hopeless. He knew that he was just an average guy in pretty much every way -- a nice guy, but nothing particularly of note. Not like that son-of-a-bitch Patrick Brown who seemed to attract the romantic attentions of every woman that laid eyes on him. If only he could be more like that son-of-a-bitch, maybe then Cara would notice him.
But time continues to move forward, and the unpleasant reality of unrequited love was sinking in and starting to take its toll on his overall demeanor. One evening at the local pub, after again failing to catch Cara's attention, or that of any of the other eligible women for that matter, Sean's best mate, Dermot, offered him a little reprieve. "These little yummies will take you to places you can't even imagine. They're pretty strong, so don't take more than one though." Dermot pressed the small bag into his hand under the table. "Be careful, but enjoy a break." With that, the men finished their pints and headed out into the night.
Sean had the following day off of work and, after taking a couple of Dermot's "yummies," headed out for a long walk into the woods at the edge of town. The light raindrops falling on the emerald grass shimmering beneath Sean's feet as he wandered further into the forest created a noticeable rhythm as he walked, and his stride soon fell into time with their beat. Droplets striking the leaves on the trees above him provided the musical notes to complete the symphony and the forest around him was creating a spectacular performance. As he crossed over the pink and orange waters of the creek rushing below him, he was enthralled by the majesty of nature. Above and to his left, birds congregated in the purple sky as the rainbow-colored cotton-candy clouds floated above them. To his right, a rabbit sped by, the dust from beneath the tires of his motor-scooter scattering into the wind behind him.
Sean had never taken magic mushrooms before, and the hallucinogenic effects that they were having on his mind were both strange and curious. It all seemed so real, and yet nothing seemed to make sense. He was clearly stoned, but the full impact of the drug hadn't fully kicked in yet. With the last cognizant thoughts that he could muster, Sean concluded that laying down under the canopy of a large tree might be a wise move as the nonsense that his mind was registering as fact was becoming more and more suspicious.
Time kind of stopped. He wasn't really sure if he had slept or if he was dreaming or if the world had just changed about him. A bright light from somewhere above had found focus right on his face, however, and had stirred him to some level of consciousness. Shielding his eyes the best he could from the vivid spectrum of colors, he heard what he thought was a giggle coming from somewhere to his left. Then he felt it. A sharp kick to his left hip came from the direction of the giggle, and he instinctively rolled to his right from the stinging pain.
"Hey! That hurt!" he complained.
"Get your ass off me pot-'o-gold!" the voice admonished with a seriousness that was almost comical under the circumstance.
Sean was beyond confused. "Who...who are you? What are you talking about?"
"I said, get your sorry ass off of me pot-'o-gold, NOW!"
Sean blinked. Standing next to him was a small human-like creature, dressed all in green with bright, flowing red hair. He rubbed his eyes. All semblance of reality had vanished.
"Look asshole, just because you're three times me size and human doesn't give you any stake to me treasure. It's mine and you can't have it!"
"I...I don't know what you're talking about," he heard himself say. "I was just taking a nap and I'm pretty fucked up, actually."
"You know the legend. At the end of a rainbow sits the pot-'o-gold, and that's just where you were laying. It's mine! Now git!" The creature kicked him again, this time the point of its shoe striking just below Sean's ribcage. As confused as he was by the circumstances around him, Sean instinctively took a defensive position and reached out his hand just as the third kick was being delivered, catching the assailant by surprise and sending it to an awkward faceplant into the wet leaves below them.
"Calm down, little fella! I'm not going to hurt you and I'm not a thief. I was just taking a nap when I was woken up by that bright light." Sean laid one leg over its back, pinning it face down below him. "Settle down, and let's talk." In his mind, Sean knew that the mushrooms must be fully kicking in, but the pain in his ribcage was still real and he really didn't want to experience any more of it. "What do I call you?"
"You can go fuck yourself! But if you have to know, they call me Maeve. Now, let me up!"
"Maeve? You're a girl? What are you doing out in the woods all by yourself?" Sean asked, with a bit of concern. He might be stoned, but he still had some base presence of mind, and didn't want anything to do with any kid out alone in the woods.
"I'm not a fuckin' girl! I'm 246 years old, you dumb fuck! Now get off of me!"