A Touch Away

Foreword

This chapter was edited on 20th December, 2023.

Chapter 3

Four years ago, we moved to this town and I ended up making friends I didn't really want. I wasn't the only one making friends. One day, after a month of our move in, Dad sat me down. He didn't say anything immediately, but he couldn't quite hide the nervous look on his face.

"Dad, you okay?"

"Yeah... yeah... I'm okay..."

Before saying anything, he handed me a cup of hot chocolate while he sipped on his tea. Even as a kid, you learn to realize when your parents are bribing you.

Seeing him hesitate, I asked, "So... what did you want to talk about?"

After another awkward pause, he blurted out, "How do you feel about me dating?"

For a while, I sat there quietly, wide-eyed, not even sure how to respond.

"Kyle?"

"You can't be serious!"

"Kyle... just listen..."

"No!" interrupted, "It's only been one year! Didn't you learn your lesson the last time?"

I was standing, my voice loud, shaking. I didn't realize it until after the fact.

"Kyle," he tried being reasonable and calm, but firm. I didn't care. I couldn't believe he was willing to jump back into... that.

I avoided Dad for that day before my conscience got to me. The next day, I apologized for screaming, and then I had to relent to him. The least I could do was hear him out.

"Look, I understand how you feel. You're not alone in this. And it's only been a year, so I don't expect you to move past it that quick. But you'll learn two things eventually. First, you can't generalize. People are different, and you can't let old wounds stop you from meeting new and wonderful people. Second, you have to trust your feelings when you meet someone who's right for you."

"Isn't that what you thought the last time, Dad? How's that working for you?" I shot back flippantly.

With a reproaching look, he replied, "I don't appreciate that tone."

"Sorry."

He wasn't mad. He continued, "I'll grant you your point, but, it's more than just that. She is great!"

That's what he thought the last time as well, but I didn't say it this time. And I knew I couldn't be quiet for too long either.

Finally, I said, "Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you."

Chuckling, he replied, "Thanks, champ. And thanks for looking out for me."

I couldn't help but smile when he tousled my hair.

"So, who is she? How'd you meet?"

"She's another parent. Her daughter's in the same grade."

I knew Dad wasn't the type to casually date. But even my expectations were subverted when he invited her and her daughter over to our place for dinner after a week of dating. Not only was that too quick, it made the predicament real.

"Remember, Kyle, be nice."

"I know, I know."

Soon the doorbell rang and Emily and Sarah entered. I was vaguely aware of Sarah. She was pretty, but not gorgeous. She always seemed to have a smile on her face and seemed decently popular among the kids even back then.

"Hi, you must be Kyle!" She said in an annoyingly bubbly voice. "I've heard of you!"

Nothing good, I was sure. Her smile was wide. I was sure she was mocking me. For what? Getting beaten up?

"Hi," I said, managing a tense smile. I didn't want to, but Dad would've been embarrassed.

We sat in the living room, the conversation flowing. Well, mostly. I was partaking - as I was expected to. I kept my responses polite, but short. Dad had asked me to be nice, not overly-friendly.

Sarah was the complete opposite of me. She was going out of her way to talk to Emily, Dad and me, laughing at almost anything that was being said. Granted, Dad was a good host who always managed to make his guests smile and laugh, but she was trying way too hard.

Usually, Dad and I would set the table for guests, but Emily insisted on taking my place. She was always eager and insistent. That left me alone with Sarah.

"Hey, can I see your room?"

I did not find that idea appealing. Not at all. But Dad thought differently. "That's a great idea! You two can get to know each other better!"

"Right... this way."

My room has always been a mixed bag of things I like. I had my own system, but to an outsider, it could seem to have no rhyme nor reason. So it wasn't surprising when she made a face and said, "Oh my God, you're messy!"

"It's not a mess."

She looked around, browsing through my literature collection - an assortment of science fiction and fantasy books, comics and manga. I wasn't much of a gamer, so I didn't have any console lying around.

"Hmm, so you're a bit of a nerd," she said under her breath.

She might as well have directly called me a loser.

Defensively I said, "If you don't like my room you don't have to be here."

She looked shocked. She was a pretty girl used to people fawning over her, agreeing with her. I bet no one had ever called her out.

Her voice had a slight quiver, as she said, "Sorry. No, I didn't mean that. I was just..."

Before the conversation could proceed any more awkwardly, Dad announced that dinner was ready. For a moment, I felt bad. Had I been too harsh? But I was proven wrong almost immediately.

Sarah exclaimed, "Smells yummy!"

With no sign of hurt on her face or voice, I was pretty sure that none of what I had said had affected her. As far as I was concerned, that was all too well.

The dinner ended uneventfully. Sarah and Emily had their fake, ugly smiles plastered on their faces during the entire time. And I could definitely see why she'd want to date Dad. He was good-looking and successful. And nice. Too nice. For a woman like her, he was easy picking.

After they left, we were quietly cleaning for a long time. Things progressed quickly after that. By the end of the month, they were planning their wedding. In a year, they were married and we had moved into a four-bedroom house in the suburbs.

***

There was a reason I was thinking of all of this early on a Saturday morning. As much as I didn't want to, my mind was thinking of the one thing I didn't want to think about - Claire, and I don't mean her tits. That would have been a welcomed reprieve. No, soon after waking up, I remembered our last conversation. Apparently the distraction I got last night was only temporary.

Claire didn't know me, and I knew I didn't have to pay any attention to what she was saying. But it just continued to bother me. So here I was, wondering if I really wanted the thing that Dad decided to settle for.

"Here you go, Kyle," I heard Emily's voice, returning me from my reverie.

I looked at my plate full of eggs, bacon and toast, but my mind was still not there yet. I thought of the perfect, happy little family that Dad had crafted. I almost laughed at myself for spending more than a moment at Claire's assumptions. I did not need a charade like this in the future.

"Your food will go cold," Sarah said, once again avoiding looking at me.

"I know," replied, without looking back at her.

With breakfast concluded, we - Sarah and I - headed out. Not the company I would have wanted, but that's how Saturday mornings have been for a long time.

Once upon a time, little Kyle took a punch to the face because he was a righteous idiot. Serves me right. And I told myself, "That Claire is a bitch." But it wasn't all bad. The kid I defended was Alex, and I quickly became friends with him, Cole and Haru.

Okay, that's not the point. I also swore, "Never again," and I'm not all talk. I decided that I didn't want to be pushed around anymore, so I convinced Dad to enroll me into a self-defense class. And after going through the options, we ended up choosing Krav Maga. Most of the techniques end with a kick to the balls, so I knew it was practical.

After Emily and Sarah joined this so-called family, Dad was insistent on her joining as well. Sarah did not make a fuss, she rarely opposed anything the parents ever said, always staying on their good sides. And that's how I ended up trapped with Sarah in a metal box for the past three years. Given how our relationship was, we rarely exchanged any words, or even looked at each other.

It was an interesting contrast. When we first met, she was trying way too hard to get in my way and pretending to befriend me. But when our parents married, she went the opposite way. Cold and almost ignorant of my existence. I believed that she realized her efforts to sway me with her charm had yielded no results and had moved on. Hell, I didn't remember the wedding day but she seemed standoffish even then. Regardless of that, I didn't understand why she'd have to go so far to avoid me.

Our silent journey ended soon as I parked the car. The training was exactly what I needed - physically intensive enough to take my mind off things.

***

"Did you have a good workout?"

I don't know what prompted me to break tradition. Without really thinking about it, I found myself asking her that. Her eyes locked on mine, cautious and curious. It had been a long time since they had met without immediately looking away.

"I did," she finally replied.

As she spoke, I noticed her visibly swallow. Was she nervous? What was going on?

After a pause, she asked, "How was yours?"

"Great. Might have overdone myself, though."

There was another awkward pause between us.

"You should be more careful," she finally said, then faced the road, and away from me.

That made it clear. She did not want to talk to me, it was a waste of my fucking time. What the hell was I thinking? I didn't know, it was an impulsive decision. I hoped the awkward silence between us would revert to the old and comfortable type, but that didn't happen. Something lingered in the air.

When I pulled into the garage, it was a relief. And I didn't think I was the only one who felt that. I thought that would have been the end of that episode, but I was wrong. Later during the day, I overheard voices from Sarah's room. I wasn't planning on eavesdropping, but I happened to hear an exchange while passing her room.

"Something weird happened today," said Sarah.

"What?"

"Kyle and I spoke."

I didn't hear a response immediately. At this point, I had stopped moving, and I could no longer deny that I was, indeed, listening in. Then I heard Amanda's voice. She was Sarah's best friend, a tall volleyball player. Also, she was always glaring at me.

She sounded dubious, as she asked, "Really?"

"Kinda. He asked me if I had a good workout. It wasn't really a conversation, and it was very awkward..."

"And how do you feel about it?"

"I don't know," Sarah hesitated. "I don't want to think too much, but... I'm hopeful, I think."

I thought she'd laugh at me, so that was surprising. But what Amanda said next was even more shocking.

"Goddamnit, Sarah, you can't be serious! You always do this. Just because he's nice to you once doesn't mean you can forget everything he's done!"

Everything I've done?

"But..." Sarah began. Amanda quickly cut her off.

"I don't know why he's doing this, but he probably just wants something."

I had no idea what she was talking about, and until now I had no idea that she saw me that way. We never interact, so it wasn't like I did anything. That meant Sarah must have told her something, and it had to be a very colorful story for her to hate me this much.

I decided that I had heard enough, and I began to retreat before I got caught.

"I know you don't like hearing this," Amanda continued, voice fading away. "But you're too nice to these assholes! You need to be around people who actually care about you."

That was another surprise. Sarah was too nice? In what world? Sure, she hadn't been overtly rude to me. But to think that Amanda called her 'too nice' was more than I could handle. And I wasn't even about to start thinking about her other remark. Were there things that I didn't know?

But of course there were. Sarah and I didn't talk, she was practically a stranger. No matter what I discovered about her, I was bound to be surprised. I chalked it up to that and decided to not overthink it.

***

I kept myself busy through all of Saturday, and that helped in forgetting about anything that bothered me. My mind did not recall anything that was said by Claire, Sarah and Amanda. I thought a lot of other things a horny guy my age would think, but can you blame me?

The next day, I didn't really have much to do other than studying. We still had a round of exams left, which if you ask me, make no sense. Who even cared about those at this point? I was looking for an excuse, really, when I got a text from Jane.

"Soccer at 3?" She had asked. In another moment, she sent a follow up, adding, "Just us and some people you know."

The problem of accepting any invitation from her was that there were guaranteed to be a lot more people than I'd like. I wondered who these people were, but I thought that getting out might actually be a good idea.

Sounds fun

, I thought, and texted back the same thing. Soon I was at the field and locking my bike, when my phone beeped again. This was a text that I had not anticipated. It was from Claire.

Hey, I was wondering. Are you mad at me?

Just like that, my thoughts were being dragged back to an avenue I did not want to walk. All I wanted to do was put it in the past, so I shot back quickly.

Dw, we're cool.

Fuck that, I'm not thinking about it.

Putting my phone on silent, I joined the others. Immediately, I spotted Haru and understood why Jane relegated him to 'some people'. She even had the good grace of looking sheepish, but I couldn't bring myself to glare at her.

The others were familiar faces, though I didn't remember most of their names. I nodded at Ashley, the girl Jane was dating.

I enjoyed kicking the ball occasionally, but my skills were admittedly subpar. Given where my head was today, I managed to be somehow worse than usual. After the match, we were sitting by the edge of the field, drinking water. The sound of chatter and laughter filled the background and for once I didn't think they were laughing at me. They might have been, but my mind was elsewhere.

Claire did have a point. If I didn't want to be in a relationship, I was left with a few options for me. I could either fuck around or live like a priest. Except I didn't want to. As a horny and not-very-religious teen, sex was something I definitely saw myself partaking in. So if fucking around was what I wanted, why didn't I try anything? Why did it take Claire's unexpected proposal for me to have my first sexual experience? Of course I didn't really believe the bullshit excuse I supplied to her.

Suddenly I heard a snap in front of me and that brought me back to reality. Jane's fingers were in front of my face, still snapping, as she stared at me quizzically.

"Earth to Kyle!" She was grinning, eyes full of curiosity. "Where's your head at?"

I shrugged, but before I could respond, Mel raised her eyebrows and asked, "Maybe it's a matter of who rather than what?"

My eyes were about to pop out of my head as I choked on my water. I suddenly remembered one common saying. 'Girls talk.' And I was dreading how much they've talked about, and to who.

Surprisingly, Ashley came to my rescue. "Nah, he doesn't have that look on his face."

Haru nodded sagely, adding, "Yeah, he's got a rare philosophical look on his face."

I caught myself before I glared at him. It wouldn't be worth it, not here.

"Thanks, guys," I said with mock-offense, rolling my eyes. I also slapped myself internally for doubting the two of them. Of course they wouldn't have told anyone else.

Jane wasn't backing out though. "So? What were you thinking about? You looked like you were ready to write an essay on the topic."

"I guess Mel's not completely off. I was thinking about relationships. What kind of relationships people want and how they see themselves in it."

I omitted the actual part I was thinking about.

"Wow, that's heavy," Ashley muttered.

Mel chimed in, "No kidding!"

"Yeah. Like, my Dad jumped into both his marriages. I know some of you have been serial monogamists, some not committed at all. And I guess some of you fall somewhere between. Just thinking how you know what's right for you."

Jane shrugged. "There's no easy answer. It really comes down to the person, I guess. People look for different things, and that's how it is. I've messed around, but I prefer having someone."

She squeezed Ashley's hand before continuing, "I don't know if we're a couple for life, but we both want to try and see where it goes. My promiscuous sister, on the other hand, doesn't want to be tied down, so she's doing whatever she pleases."

Seeing an opportunity, I immediately jumped in. "Ah, to be emotionally unavailable!"

"Shut up, asshole," Mel shot back. "Look, I like sex and I'm definitely not getting tied down in my high-school days. But it's not because of that. I'd just get bored, and then I'd move on. And it'd get messy. And everyone knows what I'm looking for, so one gets hurt. Easy!"

We all smiled and nodded, actually respecting the wisdom. Jane continued, "And Haru here hasn't dated, but he seems like he'd rather wait for someone he has a strong connection with. Correct me if I'm wrong."

His eyes watched something that was far away, and not quite there, but he heard her. "That's right," he softly replied.

So that hadn't changed.

"So what I'm trying to say is," Jane finished, "Everyone's different, and unless you know for sure, you're just gonna have to experiment and figure it out."

"Right," I said, nodding. "Simple."

"Now I'd love to stay and figure out what brought about this line of thought, but I actually have to study."

Study... Shit, Chemistry. Tomorrow!

Jane looked at me once and then she scowled. "God! Don't tell me, you didn't study."

"Well," I sheepishly began. "It's a matter of not understanding rather than not studying."

Sighing, she said, "Alright, you wanna come over? We can study together, I'll answer whatever question you have."

Did I mention that Jane was meant to be an angel, but somehow ended up on our mortal plane? I don't say it enough. After a few chuckles at my expense, we were on our way. To be precise, I stopped by my place because I was stinky, and needed to eat something. Shortly afterwards, all three of us were in Jane's room, face scrunched up as they tried to drill Chemistry into my head. My eyes were wide, mystified.

How does any of this shit even make sense?

Eventually, I groaned in frustration and said, "This is not working!"

Jane looked at me sympathetically, saying, "Alright, fine, let's take a break."

"And I know exactly what I want to talk about!" said Mel. There was an evil glint in her eyes, making me anxious. Without giving me a chance to complain, she pressed on. "So, Kyle... what's the latest developments regarding this girl whose name is 'definitely' Karina?"

She did the air quotes when she said that.

"What makes you think there are any?"

"Hey, don't waste my time with that bullshit. You're a shitty liar," Mel retorted. "And it seems that something set off that relationship talk."

She had that challenging look in her eyes that screamed how sure she was.

Jane nodded and said, "It does seem like you're a little more lost in thought these days. I can't help but wonder what more is happening between you and her."

"Alright, I'll tell you more."

With a sigh, I told them with as little detail as possible. The bottom line was that we continued meeting in the library, hadn't progressed much farther and she didn't not take care of me.

Mel looked disappointed. "That's what I get for expecting more."

Jane looked at me and scowled again. "Why do you have a guilty look on your face?"