A Queen's Night

Night fell upon the caravan, and while some stood guard, most slept uneasily and with weapons near. The full moon's soft illumination of the encampment was eerily beautiful. The breathing of the exhausted horses and the various noises of the nighttime forest seemed peaceful, but somehow the quiet was more disturbing than a column of barbarians.

Outside his lady's carriage, Aldwyn stood watch. Although he may have appeared to be as vigilant as a church gargoyle, his mind abounded with thoughts of recent events. "I should have turned back at the first sign of danger," Aldwyn thought to himself, "Why did I push on after seeing the tracks? Why didn't I realize that the lady was the target? Why didn't I leave with a heavier escort? Why hadn't I trained the men harder? There shouldn't have been so many casualties. I should have stopped those bastards from kidnapping the lady in the first place. How can I explain my failings? What will my punishment be?"

As Aldwyn was chastising himself, a blood-curdling shirk of terror came from inside the carriage. Aldwyn turned, drawing his blade, and opened the carriage door, nearly unfastening the hinges in the process. He entered the carriage ready to fight some loathsome enemy, but found only the lady sitting up on her cot looking as though she had just seen the devil himself and her maiden kneeling next to her trying to comfort her.

"What happened?" Aldwyn asked.

"I-I don't know sire," Alicia replied, "We were asleep and then s-sh-she just cried out."

"Lady," Aldwyn asked, "What happened? Are you alright?"

Isana was still coming to the realization that she was awake. She felt around to make sure everything was solid. The difference between dream and reality had become temporarily unclear.

She was still sorting things out in her mind as Waren peaked his head around Aldwyn's shoulder. "What happened?" Waren asked hurriedly.

"Wait a moment, Lieutenant," Aldwyn replied, trying to calm the situation enough to get a clear response from the lady. "Lady," Aldwyn's tone softened, "You are awake. You are safe. What happened?"

"Dreams," Isana finally managed to say, "Horrible dreams."

Aldwyn sighed in relief, and looked to his subordinate, "It's alright. The lady had a nightmare. Return to your post."

Waren sighed irritated as he concurred, "Yes sire."

Aldwyn sheathed his weapon and turned to exit, but before he could leave, a hand grasped his shoulder and the lady's voice now sounding very meek said, "Don't go… please."

Aldwyn turned back and saw the fearful black pools of Isana's eyes. The moon's light gave her a ghostly pale face. Aldwyn had never seen Isana truly afraid before. Even back at the barbarian camp, as he had watched for his chance to strike, he had seen the lady's face and even that was a pale shadow of the fear he saw in her now.

Aldwyn bowed his head, "As you wish my lady." Aldwyn leaned his head out of the carriage door, ordered two men still on guard to stand guard in his place, then he closed the door.

Aldwyn's large frame was ill fitted to the confines of the carriage, and the sword at his hip was awkwardly positioned. After a few futile attempts to adjust its placement, Aldwyn simply removed it concluding the weapon would be useless in such confines and could only hinder him if he had to fight. He laid he sword across from him in the corner, keeping it close at hand but out of the way. He also adjusted his dagger so it rested just above his left thigh, the hilt pointing towards his crotch, making access to it with his right hand as easy as possible.

Now finally settled, Aldwyn returned his attention to his lady and her maiden who had apparently had been watching him intently. "Do my arms offend you my lady?" Aldwyn asked.

"No," Isana replied in a slightly shaking voice, "It's just that… I now understand more fully their intended use… and their… effectiveness."

Aldwyn considered the lady's response carefully and added, "As should anyone who must command men into war. Many a king has ordered armies into war and never once witnessed the outcome. Those who do not understand the nature of war do not understand the true cost of war."

Isana was struck by Aldwyn's comment, "How can you say that? You are the captain of the guard. You served my father in the barbarian campaign. Do you mean to say that you abhor warfare?"

"Not at all my lady," Aldwyn answered, "I believe there are causes worth fighting and even dieing for and I am ready to give my all for such causes, but not all causes for which men have fought have been worth fighting for. I only ask that if I and my men must fight and die, that it be for a worthy cause."

The Lady was fascinated by these revelations. She had always heard of war as being just and righteous, even romantic, but nothing that she had seen of it thus far way even remotely any of those things. This was the first time she had heard anything dissenting from her upbringing. "Then what, in your estimation, is worth war?" the Lady asked.

Aldwyn was silent for a moment then responded, "God, King, Country, duty, honor, and the men."

Isana's mind reverberated with Aldwyn's words. The world seemed to crystallize in clarity. It seemed so obvious now but just a few moments ago, had she been asked the same question, she would have only stared blankly. Admittedly she had never really given the matter much serious thought, but in retrospect she should have at least considered it. Now it was as if a veil had been lifted from her eyes. War was the most serious of undertakings that any kingdom can undertake. It required serious thought.

As the Lady continued her silent contemplation, she suddenly became aware that her fear was nearly gone. The thought of ugly hairy men carrying her off was far from her mind. Even the presence of the knight's weapons was far less frightening now. As Isana looked on at Aldwyn, she realized that even though she had seen him kill, she was at ease with him. She felt safe with him. He was not a mindless brute like her kidnappers, but rather a warrior gentleman. She found the idea of such opposing qualities perplexing.

"Aldwyn… how do you separate yourself from it? Sometimes you're a warrior. Sometimes you're a courtier. How do you…" Isana wasn't sure how to ask her question.

"I don't separate them. I am both a warrior and a gentleman. They are merely two aspects of the same duty I am sworn to perform. It isn't always easy or pleasant, but both are required of me and I will carry them out to the best of my ability."

"Why?" Alicia chirped in.

"Why what?" Aldwyn not understanding her question.

"Why did you choose to be a knight? You could have been so many other things, a courtier, even a clergyman. You certainly have the wisdom and… the compassion for it," Alicia was obviously referring to the incident in the bathhouse.

"For most knights that would be true," Aldwyn's tone was uncomfortable, "not so for me. My father did come from a noble line, but recent hardships had depleted much of the family's wealth. This forced his to seek a marriage of financial benefit rather than social alliance. He married the daughter of a wealthy but low-born tradesman whose origins have since been traced to… a certain southern tribe."

"You're half…" Isana couldn't bring herself to speak the word.

"Barbarian? Yes I am, but not half, only a quarter." Aldwyn continued, "Because of my birth, the clergy and courtiers would have nothing to do with me, but my father managed to arrange for my commission into your noble father's army. I was given command of a century. Shortly there after, the barbarian campaign began. I advanced through the ranks through victory and on occasion the death of my immediate superior in battle. I earned wealth and land through my service. I also earned the trust and respect of your father; So much so that on the eve of the last battle with the barbarians, he knighted me as commander of his first legion."

"Do your men know of your heritage?" Isana asked.

"Those who served under me in the war do, and they don't care. I have earned their loyalty and their trust. To them, I am their commander and that is all that matters."

There was a pregnant silence, then Isana finally asked the question that she had been long contemplating, "Aldwyn, what would have happened to us if we had been kidnapped?"

"My lady," Aldwyn choked back a surge of venomous rage, "Please don't ask me to tell you that. You are here, you are safe, and tomorrow we will be in King Dietrich's court."

"Please, I need to know," Isana insisted, "What would have happened?"

Aldwyn sighed deeply, "You would have been taken across our boarders into barbarian lands where I believe you, my lady, would have been forced to marry one of their chieftains. By doing so, he would have claim to your father's lands and could have untied the tribes in a war against us." Aldwyn clenched his jaw and closed his eyes, trying desperately to restrain his anger.

"What else is there?" Isana saw that there was more than he was admitting.

"According most tribal traditions, a marriage isn't fully consummated until a child is born, and consent has never been a prerequisite for… consummation."

Isana couldn't believe what she was hearing, "They would have forced me to bare one of them?"

"Yes."

The word "Yes" reverberated inside Isana's mind. The thought of one of those awful men touching her was revolting enough but the prospect of being violated by one of them was too horrid to fully contemplate. Without realizing it, Isana had drawing herself closer and closer to Aldwyn the entire time, now she was right next to him. Now she realized that Alicia was sitting right next her. Her golden girl was holding on to her hand as though her life depended on it.

"What would have happened to Alicia?" Isana's voice rang deeply with fearful concern.

"Most likely, she would have been sold into slavery, to a wealth merchant or to a brothel. There would be little difference," Aldwyn's voice was sour. "That's how my mother was conceived," Aldwyn's voice was fragmented with angry tears.

Isana was stunned. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to know that a parent was the product of rape. She placed a comforting hand on his arm. She could feel the coursing wrath flowing through his body.

Aldwyn wasn't at all in the mood to be touched much less coddled, but could not bring himself to withdraw from his lady's hand. For him to refuse his lady anything would be sacrilege. He accepted his lady's comfort, swallowing his pride and his anger.

His mind began to still as his lady continued to stoke his arm. He could feel the weight of his lady's head against his shoulder. Slowly the stoking stopped and the weight of his lady's head became heavy. Aldwyn looked to his lady and saw that she was fast asleep, her handmaiden as well. Aldwyn too was succumbing to the weight of his sleep deprived eyes. He had taken the last of the herbalist's tonic some hours before and the effect was fading quickly. Soon all three were asleep in the carriage, dreaming peacefully.