A Pacet of Trouble

This is not a futuristic tale, quite the opposite. It's an improbable stroke story based on an improbable ancient relic resulting in an improbable outcome. Please enjoy.

*****

"I can't understand it, Jack, I just haven't been getting a lot of sex from June lately," my kid brother Alex complained as I took another sip of my second beer.

"How often is that?" I asked.

"Down to once a week and only for a quickie."

I laughed, "Doing a lot better than me."

"I'm serious, Jack, my ugly lab assistant is starting to look good." Alex worked for the last five years as a research scientist for GDM Chemicals, a pharmaceutical company.

"Well, I haven't had any for the last two months," I countered, "Kate seems to think her gold plated pussy is too precious." I was an investment broker, my own business, making a pisspot of money.

"You're kidding. Kate's got a body that would put any porn queen to shame. How can you keep your hands off her?"

"I can't, but she can," I sighed, "Lately, it seems that whenever I mention children, we start a row. The last time I approached her was two months ago. She got so pissed, we haven't had sex since. It's beyond me, I thought women were supposed to want babies."

"Yeah, same here, but anytime I mention it, I get a slap on the side of the head. June always says there's plenty of time and points to you guys as an example. After all, you and Kate are older and haven't started yet."

I signalled our server for another couple of beers. She was wearing a tutu with a lot of cheek showing. Well, a guy can dream, can't he?

By the end of the next beer, I was getting a bit of a buzz. Screw it, go home, get some rest. The office could look after itself. Kate wouldn't be off work for another three hours. Just thinking about her attitude pissed me off. No sex for two months, how long can a woman stay mad?

Yeah, you guessed it. There was a strange car in my driveway and when I checked our bedroom, Jerry the Jerk was pistoning in and out of Kate's cunt. She was flailing and singing that 'fuck me, fuck me' tune, like he was the best ever.

Yes, I did the next predictable thing, I kicked his scrawny ass out the front door, butt naked.

Kate had no remorse, she actually seemed pissed that I had interrupted her tryst. When I gathered his duds to throw them out on the lawn, a couple of packets of something fell out of his pants. I stuck them into my suit breast pocket.

Yeah, you know the rest of it too. The divorce application was served. Of course, by then, Kate was very contrite.

"I'm so sorry, honey, I just can't control my passion when I'm with him. His cock turns me into an orgasm machine... I don't love him the way I love you but I can't stay away from him either. You and I had something wonderful but my horny cunt destroyed it. I don't blame you for wanting this divorce, but I want you to know, I'll always love you..." her tears were real.

"Fine, that makes me feel so much better," I said sarcastically, "Now get your slut ass out of here. Go back to The Jerk and have some more fun. I hope he fucks you to death."

That was harsh and deep down, I really didn't mean it. I'd loved Kate for six years. That can't be switched off easily. But living with a woman who was fucking another man? ... not damned likely.

Kate moved in with The Jerk. Losing her was bad enough, but losing her to that little dicked ugly prick was the ultimate insult. I wanted to kill the bastard but didn't want to spend the rest of my life in the iron bar hotel.

The words of my old man came back to me, 'The paths of life cross many times'. I knew one day I'd nail that asshole and nail him good.

--

Living in that big house by myself was a drag. The four bedrooms I planned on filling with children was now redundant. I sold it and rented a small apartment downtown within walking distance to work.

I was lonely for Kate and couldn't stop thinking of her. How could she have done that to us? I thought we had a great marriage until a few months ago. My dick was lonely for her too.

Being out of circulation for over six years was particularly daunting. I didn't even know how to go about asking a woman for a date. I tried to pick up a few lookers at singles bars but I didn't have the social skills to get a good conversation going. Needless to say, I failed.

Was I was trying to hard to be a nice a guy? It seemed that all those sleazy assholes were getting the broads. The sleazier they were, the more successful they were. Could I be one of them too? Maybe if I dyed my hair jet black and slicked it back with lot of greasy goop, the message would get through... It was a thought.

My staff consisted of six single people, two men and four women, a great young bunch. Heather was the only one not currently in a relationship. She used to have a boyfriend but I overheard her complaining to the others that he was a prick... She smiled at me once in awhile, and now that she knew I was getting a divorce, she smiled a lot more often. Hmmmm, maybe...

One evening, after eating one of my frozen sawdust dinners, I decided it clean out my closet and send my suits to the cleaners. Two packets fell out of a suit breast pocket. Yeah, now I remembered, those came from Jerry the Jerk's pants. I wondered what the hell they were.

A couple of nights later, I met my brother Alex for some pub food.

"Your divorce with Kate done yet?"

"Two weeks ago, but she still phones me every day."

"Crying shame, you two looked so good together... makes me wonder about my own marriage to June."

"No change?"

"Worse, she just doesn't seem to get excited in bed anymore."

I changed the subject.

"Alex, I've got a big favor to ask. Jerry the Jerk's pants yielded a couple of packets of this stuff," I pulled a packet out out my pants and set it down in front of him, "I'm wondering if it's some sort of mind bending drug he may have given Kate. Can you analyze it for me?"

"Sure, bro. I can use the lab equipment some evening. I've nothing better to do, the lack of June's ass is driving me crazy." He stuck the packet into his shirt pocket and we ate our beans and bangers.

--

Two weeks passed. I managed to get a date with Heather and took her to a Mozart concert. She didn't enjoy it, I had to nudge her awake a few times to keep her from snoring too loudly. I had the feeling she would rather be somewhere else, shaking her touche around some dance floor. She yawned when I kissed her goodnight... The great seducer hadn't made a very good first impression.

Alex must have had enough time by now, so I called him.

"Sorry, Jack, this is taking much longer than I expected. I've spent six nights on it so far. I've isolated eight different chemicals and still am not finished. Since there's some alkaloids, I suspect that it may be a mixture of some synthetic compounds with some sort of plant..."

"Not much help, do you have any guesses?"

"Dunno, a few compounds are similar to some aphrodasiacs."

"A sex drug?"

"Uhh... maybe... too early to tell. Give me another week, I should have it nailed down by then."

--

A week later, he called and said he had to talk to me. When we met at the pub, he looked very tired.

"Well, did you get anything more from the analysis?"

"No, haven't had time. Jack, something strange has happened... I don't know how to tell you this but after you suggested it might be a sex drug, I looked very carefully at the chemical ingredients. None by themselves would do any harm to the human body, so I took a grain.

"That night I was so horny, I wouldn't take no for an answer from June. I hauled her ass into the bedroom and fucked her for an hour. She did manage one orgasm but was so pissed at me, she wouldn't talk to me the next morning.

"I decided what was good for the gander, might be good for the goose too, so the next night at dinner, I dropped a couple of grains into her wine," he smiled.

"And then?" I asked.

"About an hour later, she gave me a wink and suggested we retire early. She literally tore her clothes off. God, she was so hot, I swear I could see steam rising from her pussy. We fucked for three hours. I came six times and I couldn't begin to count her orgasms. Finally we were so exhausted, we fell asleep.

"Friday morning, I awoke with her sucking my cock. I couldn't believe it, she'd never done that before in our marriage. We fucked a couple more times and then made breakfast. She sat down on my cock, reverse cowgirl style, so we could eat and fuck at the same time... We both took the day off and fucked all weekend too. The amazing thing is that neither of us got sore."

"Did you take any more of the drug?"

"Hell no, wouldn't dare. There's no sign of it wearing off. It's as if our sex hormones have been booted up permanently." His cell phone rang.

"Jack, gotta go, that'll be June and she'll want me to come home and poke her again," he grinned.

He left while I sat there and thought for a long time... Well, Jerry, old pal, I now know what you did to my wife, but where did a dumb shit like you find a drug like this? Any modern sex cocktail would have been immediately identified by Alex. So what was it? Where did it come from?

--

Two weeks later, I had my chance to find out. Jerry and Kate took a weekend holiday so I decided to do a little B&E. After a very thorough search of his house, I found a similar packet on a glass shelf, sitting next to a small beat up clay urn. The urn was empty except for a bit of powder residue. I pilfered both items.

At home, I had a closer look at the urn. It looked old, not like it had seen a potter's wheel. On each side, a man and woman were shown coupling, interspersed by what looked like plants or trees with various unintelligible inscriptions carved into the fired clay.

I'd always been fascinated by old relics so I took it to an archaeological friend of mine at the local university.

--

Three days later he called back.

"Jack, this urn is a real find. We did both thermoluminescent and carbon dating tests and it appears to be made around 3000 BC... Too bad it's in such rough shape, it might have been worth a lot of money."

"Get anything on the inscriptions?"

"Not yet, but one of the guys thinks it looks similar to glyphs from the ancient Harappan culture from the Indus Valley. Unfortunately that script has not yet been deciphered."

"How about the plants?"

"We took several rubbings and some botanists are looking into it. I don't hold much hope, the designs look more symbolic than real."

"How in God's name would something like that show up around here?"

"Hard to say... but in the days of Empire, a lot of relics were brought back as momentos. Some of the scratches are fairly recent so my guess is that it wasn't well cared for, probably sold at a flea market or garage sale. Is that where you got it?"

"Yeah, something like that. Why don't you keep it for another couple of weeks. Oh, and one more thing, the powder residue in the urn may give your botanists a clue about the plants."

"Already thought of that but the alkaloids don't match any known plant we have in our data banks. Hell, this planet has lost so many species, those plants may have become extinct..."

Well, there it was, a dead end. It wasn't likely that the drug could have been synthesized from the information we had. I decided to call Alex that night. Between his huffing and puffing, I told him that that the drug was likely a mixture of several plants. Synthesis of chemicals would have been unknown in those days.

I heard June scream another orgasm just before I hung up. My cock twitched. June was one hot looking woman. My cock reverted to the problem at hand, I needed a piece of ass.

I had a very short list of prospects, Heather's was the only name on it. I invited her over for some Chinese take out the next evening and spiked our drinks with one grain for each of us. An hour later, we were in bed, fucking like rabbits. We fell asleep three hours later.

The next morning, I had to go out of town on business for a few days. When I came back, Heather stomped into my office and slammed the door.

"You asshole, you spiked my drink, didn't you?"

What could I say, I just sat there with my mouth open.

"I'll get even with you, you prick. Did you know I had to go back and fuck my ex boyfriend for the last couple of nights? And I don't even like that egotistical asshole... My goddamn pussy is leaking all the time, the only thing I can think of is cock."

"Why don't you lock the door and I'll give you some of it right now?"

She did and I fucked her on my desk all lunch hour. It wasn't enough so we took the afternoon off and met at my apartment. A couple of hours later, we were both sated.

What Heather said started me thinking. Kate and The Jerk, and Alex and June, were under the impression they only wanted each other. That wasn't true for Heather. When my cock wasn't there, she got serviced by her ex boyfriend.

--

Again I met with my brother, "Any change, Alex?"

"Nope, but we've had to discipline ourselves. We only do it on alternate days. Otherwise we're so tired we can't get anything done."

I changed the subject again.

"Alex, I need an impotency drug, one that renders a man's dick limp as a wet noodle."

"Hell, most prescription drugs will do that," he laughed.

"No, you don't understand. I need one that's permanent."

"Uhh... do I smell a little revenge on your ex's boyfriend?" he cocked one eyebrow, "Seriously, Jack, there is a drug in the experimental stage that's been proposed for use on sex offenders... I should be able to get you some in a few weeks but you're going to have to be very careful with it. There's no known antidote."

The next day, I didn't get to work until 11AM. There was a CLOSED sign on my office suite and the blinds were drawn. What the hell was going on? My question was answered when I unlocked the door.

All my staff were naked, fucking on their desks, two men and three women. Theresa was unoccupied so she pulled me over to her desk, hopped up and spread her legs.

"I've always wondered what my boss felt like," she giggled as she fished my cock out of my pants. She found out quickly.

"Oh, my God, that's the nicest cock I've ever had... You realize, of course, you'll have to fuck all of us girls. We've got to make sure everyone is even... can't have any stories getting back to our boyfriends."

The next was Connie. She bent over her desk and pointed her fat butt out at me.

"In my ass, boss. I'm not on the pill and may be fertile... Unngg... Oh yeah... just like that..." she moaned as she fingered her sopping wet cunt. I blew my juice into her asshole while she brought herself off.

I cleaned up in the washroom and when I confronted Annie, she paled.

"No, I can't, boss. That thing's too big... Noooo... please don't... Oh... oh Jeezus... I'm stretched wide open... Oh, fuck... that feels so good... Fuck me, boss, pound me... I'm gonna come..."

Annie was a small woman, barely five feet tall and about ninety pounds. Her pussy was the tightest I'd ever had, pure pleasure. I fucked her for half an hour before I came.

Finally, I headed for my office. Heather was sitting on the corner of my desk, naked.

"I told you I'd get even, didn't I? I needed a file from your desk and found an envelope labeled 'Sex', containing a packet of powder. I dumped it into the water cooler this morning."

"You stupid witch, I may be without a staff after this."

"Naw... nobody's going to squeal, everybody's in the same boat." She turned and yelled outside of the office door, "Make sure you all take a bottle of water home and leave a bottle for me... OK boss, I need some more..."

--

Nobody showed up for work the next morning. Annie called at 10AM.

"Hi boss, the others have elected me as their spokesperson. Can I come by and talk to you?"

When she came in, she sat down on the corner of my desk and told me that the others were taking the rest of the week off but would be back the following Monday. They were too busy fucking their mates.

"What about you?"

"My boyfriend's out of town until next week..."

"Well, well, I'll bet your pussy needs some attention."

"Boss, I shouldn't be doing this..."

"But we have to take care of that little cooter for you... can't have you running off and fucking the mailman, can we? Your place or mine?"

"Yours, I can't have our fuck juices smelling up the apartment when my boyfriend gets back."

I closed the office and we fucked in my apartment all afternoon. For the next four days, only the two of us were in the office. During lunch break, she would drop her panties and ride me in my office chair, holding her arms around my neck, pushing her little nipples into my mouth.

In the evenings, we fucked in every position for at least two hours. She had such a sweet tasting cunt, very tight too. By the time the week was over, she had learned to be an expert cocksucker. She even gave up her butthole a few times. Hard as it might be to believe, her pussy felt better.

I learned something else too. Two or three hours a day were enough to satiate a couple.

--

The following Monday, everybody showed up for work except Annie. Her boyfriend was due back so I gave her the week off. Eventually, everyone overcame their embarrassment and settled down... all except for Annie. Her boyfriend travelled a lot and during those times, she couldn't stay off my dick. Well, it was the boss's responsibility to see that his employees were happy, wasn't it?

There was no question about it. The archaeologists and anthropologists could spin all theories they wanted, but as far as I was concerned, the demise of the Harappan culture occurred because they fucked themselves into extinction.

No, not by having babies, quite the opposite. Making babies probably got in the way of their pleasure. And so, to prevent pregnancies, those women would have used their buttholes as a means of birth control during their fertile times. Certainly all my office girls liked getting butt fucked as much as getting pussy fucked.

--

A week later, I had Alex's impotency drug. One of my friends volunteered to administer it. He spiked the Jerk's beer in a tavern, then 'clumsily' broke the beer glass to destroy the evidence.

The next event was predictable. While Kate still phoned me every day to remind me how much she loved me, the phone calls now started coming in three or four times a day. I decided to answer one because I didn't want her to find another cock.

"Jack, I really need to talk to you. Can we have a meeting?"

"Sure, my apartment at eight tonight."

"Thank you, Jack, I love you."

She showed up carrying her bags.

"Whoa, aren't you you're putting the cart before the horse?"

"Jack, I've left him. I need a place to stay for a few days until I can find an apartment," she said, inviting herself in.

"What went wrong?" I asked as I took her coat.

"Don't know. He just can't seem to get it up anymore. He's become overly abusive, blaming me for no longer exciting him. He's still horny but can't even masturbate anymore."

"Poor bastard," I gloated.

"Jack, I'm so sorry for what happened. I tried to stay away from him, honestly I did. Every time he was fucking me, I was thinking of you. God, I'm so screwed up..."

"Are you still horny?"

"Yes... will you? ... once more? ... just for old time's sake?"

We stripped and I fucked her right there on the kitchen table, then on the couch, and finally in the bedroom. She was nice and tight so I guess the Jerk didn't do her any damage. Finally after two hours, we were sated. Her tears started.

"Oh darling, that was so wonderful. Your cock is so much bigger than his. I've never come so much... I don't understand it, what the hell happened to me?"