A Diary for Two

A very slow built story about a character's transformation from being entirely male, to having to accept his magically switching gender. There are sexy bits and they will be more frequent in planned subsequent chapters, but they are not the main focus.

Please do not expect any quick thrill out of this story, but please make the most of the progressive development of the protagonist(s).

Also, whilst I did not mention this in my previous chapters, this is my first attempt at writing erotic literature. The feedback I got from the previous parts was very nice and very helpful, and I'd truly appreciate a continued feedback from any readers who are interested.

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October 13, 2014

I'm happy to write that most of the day went on as normal. I got up around 7 and had breakfast with Henry and Amy (my one female housemate), during which we chatted light-heartedly about the day ahead. Neither Henry nor I mentioned anything about the previous day, although we did exchange a couple of glances behind Amy's back. I had a nice warm shower afterwards, making sure that I hadn't changed before leaving the bathroom.

We then went to campus by bus together (luckily it was a sunny day at that point) and all got to our lectures on time. Spent a couple of boring hours working on thermodynamics and eigenvalues in my thermal physics and mathematics lectures, followed by lunch and a very confusing lecture about atomic orbitals and the relations to Schrödinger's equation in quantum mechanics.

I then spent a couple of hours trying to work in the library, but mostly wasting time procrastinating until I realized the sky outside was getting cloudy. I had a bit of a scare, but luckily it didn't start raining until after I'd taken the bus back home.

I then spent the rest of the afternoon and evening just passing the time by watching Family Guy online. I guess I just really wanted to keep myself from thinking about what would happen if the rain didn't abate before tomorrow.

Unhelpfully, I've been getting increasingly horny this afternoon, but I don't really feel like rubbing one out... It's as if some part of me would really rather I turn into Elise satisfy myself. I'm sort of curious, but it is also a little scary, especially as I have no idea how it works down there for girls, and I'm a little apprehensive about tackling the issue with myself, as I still haven't really looked into my private bits as a female.

It is now about 11 o'clock, and I'm really starting to grow tired of Family Guy... The rain is still pounding on the windows. I guess I should go to bed.

October 14, 2014

Well... I guess I saw it coming. After all, it had to rain at some point, so it might as well have been today. But even knowing that, I still woke up this morning with a definite sense of dread. As I sat up and heard the sound of raindrops hitting windowpanes, I groaned audibly, and staid motionless in my bed, wondering what to do.

After a few minutes, I heard the sound of my housemates moving about outside my room, getting ready to go to their lectures. I decided to stay in my room until they left, as I couldn't stand the idea of explaining to my housemates why I couldn't go to my lectures. After all, it was either that, or I could go anyway and let them see me as a girl.

I just won't go to work, I decided. I knew this couldn't go on forever, but I just couldn't stand the idea of everyone I knew knowing that I was a girl. What would they think? That I'm some sort of gay, pansy, tranny cross dresser? I almost laughed at myself.

After all, it was sort of funny that I, who have nothing against gays, 'pansies', transsexuals, and cross dressers, couldn't possibly stand the idea of being seen as either of those. I guess it might be that as a heterosexual male, I had grown up to always defend my masculinity by protecting myself from the stigmas stereotypically associated with all those things. But anyway, however much I analyzed my feelings; I still couldn't stand the idea of being seen as a girl by all those closest to me.

After a few minutes, I heard the front door slam, and I knew that the house was probably empty by now. I let out a sigh, and slowly slid out of bed. As I put on my dressing gown, I heard someone knocking on my door. I froze.

"Hey, Erik! It's me!" shouted Henry from outside my room.

Hesitantly, I went to open my door to him. I found him standing outside my room, dressed up and ready to go with a determined look in his eyes.

"What do you want?" I asked.

I was trying to sound defiant, but the situation was just too awkward. He sighed.

"Come on now," He said, "Time for you to get ready, we're going soon."

I stared at him, disbelief etched on my face. Didn't he understand that I couldn't go?

"Don't look at me like that!" He said, looking as uncomfortable as I felt, "You know that you can't afford to skip lectures. You'll just have to accept going as a girl!"

"But... But..." I was at a loss for words. "But... What if someone recognizes me? I can't have people see me as a girl on campus!"

"They won't!" answered Henry. He looked as if he were growing impatient. "All they'll see is a pretty girl going to lectures! They'll never recognize you. They won't even notice that you're gone or that that girl never turned up before to a single lecture! You know as well as I do that there are over a hundred and twenty students in each lectures, and often considerably more!"

He was right. Of course he was, why had this not all seemed obvious to me? Or was it simply my male pride, which felt an utter aversion towards the idea, and stopped me from thinking straight?

"Now get ready, and get dressed appropriately," said Henry firmly. He then quickly flung the contents of a quarter-full glass of water at me and, before I could react, slammed my own bedroom door in my face.

I stood there, blinking as I felt the cold water run down my face and sensed myself changing again. Feeling angry with Henry, I stepped out of my now oversized pajamas and went to fetch some of my new female clothes. I chose almost at random a pair of white panties with pink motifs along with a matching bra, wondering for a quarter of a second why on earth I had bought underwear with pink motifs.

As I then chose a t-shirt and jeans, I could feel my anger abating somewhat. As I pulled the t-shirt on top of my new slim waist and rounded breasts, I had to admit to myself that Henry was only doing what he did to help me, and I knew I owed him for that. My train of thoughts was cut short, however, when I realized that my strangely long hair was still stuck inside the collar of my t-shirt. I pulled it out irritably, and put on my skinny jeans.

As a guy, I had always found that the complexity and vulnerability of my 'downstairs tackle' required me to pay a certain amount of attention to it as I put on my loose trousers. These jeans, on the other hand, were very snug and left no space at all for external organs, as they pulled themselves into direct contact with my crotch. I patted my groin slightly through my jeans and felt nothing beneath through the fabric. It was the strangest of feelings, accentuating the loss of my appendage.

I finally stopped feeling my new body and put on some seemingly tiny socks, followed by ballet pumps. I felt to uncomfortable wearing heels, as they were both too feminine and seemed too uncomfortable for me to deal with. I would have worn my sports shoes or something, but I was too scared of being recognized if I wore my old male clothes, especially as they were so oversized for me now.

I got up, picked up my bag (God it seemed heavier than usual!) and walked to the door of my room. It was only then that I suddenly realized that I was wearing a pink t-shirt. Why oh why had I chosen a pink t-shirt?

I was about to change my top when I suddenly heard a knocking on the door. Henry was growing impatient. Sighing, I exited the room, only to be greeted by Henry's backside as he bent down to lift up his bag from the floor, turning his back to me.

"God you took your time in there!" He exclaimed as he shouldered the bag and started turning around, "One would think that you really were taking aft..."

He stopped midsentence at the sight of me, his eyes widening slightly. It looked like something had just knocked the breath out of him.

"What? Is there something wrong with my outfit?" I asked, feeling suddenly worried. I was quickly reconsidering whether this whole thing was a good idea.

Henry shook his head silently, and I saw a funny little smile appear on his face as he went on looking at me for a short instance. After a while, he seemed to find his voice again.

"No... No. Don't worry you look fine Er... I mean Elise." He said catching himself. "We should go. I'm sorry we're probably going to be late, so you're going to have to forget about breakfast for today."

I nodded. I could deal with missing a meal; it wasn't as if I hadn't done it before. Henry then opened the front door for me, following me outside into the drizzle and then shutting the door behind me. He wasn't usually careful, and I looked at him suspiciously.

"I know I look like a girl, but there's no need treating me like one you know!" I whispered to him.

"Oh really? And how about what the neighbors will think? I was brought up to be gallant, and I'm not going to change that just because of you."

The neighbors? I looked around and saw the mother from next door smiling at us as she walked out her front door and to her car, leading her kids to school.

"Damn!" I hissed at Henry, "She knows our house! She'll recognize me!" I was starting to feel panicky.

"No she won't," said Henry, "She'll probably just think you're one of my many conquests." He sounded smug.

"Yea, right, you wish mate!" I retorted.

Instead of answering, Henry grabbed me down the hand and started half leading me, half pulling me towards the bus stop. As we walked, I looked down uncomfortably at Henry's massive gorilla hand holding my slender one. It made my hand look like a fine porcelain sculpture. We didn't say much for the next few minutes as we walked to the bus stop, where he finally relinquished me.

The bus ride to campus was a very uncomfortable one, as I first made a fool of myself trying to get change out of my incredibly tight jean pockets to pay for my tickets. Loosing patience, Henry paid for both our return tickets and quickly lead me to the back of the bus where he found us some seats. I had a strong feeling that everyone was staring at me after that and stared down at my ridiculously girly shoes, feeling more and more ludicrous.

The bus finally arrived on campus and we exited it. Harry patted me on the shoulder, winked, and walked off towards his lecture in one of the eastern buildings of the campus. My next lecture was to be southwest. From the bus stop, so I quickly made my way into the building and trotted towards the lecture hall. The corridor outside it was empty, which meant that everyone had entered and the lecture had begun.

Feeling my slim knees shaking, I took in a deep breath and walked inside. Luckily, the lecturer had only just begun talking about some assessments that were coming up and hadn't officially begun the lecture, as I could still see a number of people still settling down at the back. I began making my way up the stairs as quickly as possible.

"Hey Missy! You're forgetting our new handout." Called out the new lecturer, interrupting his speech to wave a sheet of paper from among a small stack on his desk.

I flinched and started back tracking, feeling sick. As I took the paper from his hand, he smiled at me kindly. I tried to reciprocate, but I knew that I was probably just making a distorted grimace, before turning around again and going back up the stairs.

I kept my head low as I ascended, hearing the mutterings of two hundred people throughout the lecture hall, and feeling their eyes staring at me. This was horrible. I wanted to sit down and disappear into the crowd as quickly as possible, but all the seats seemed to be taken, as the hall was packed. I was reaching the last few rows when I saw a group of five or six students moving up by one seat so as to clear me a spot next to the stairway.

Feeling very grateful, I smiled at them wanly and sat down. The guy next to me glanced at me, looking a little uncomfortable.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

I nodded meekly. He looked as if he were about to say something else, but then the lecture started in earnest and whatever the boy was about to say died in his throat. The lecture went on for about an hour, and I did my best to follow it, trying to ignore how self-conscious I felt sitting, disguised as a girl amongst hundreds of fellow students studying physics.

As the lecture ended, and the lecturer walked out, the boy next to me started talking again.

"Do you also have your next lecture here?" He asked.

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak, as if my female voice would somehow betray my identity.

"So... You also study statistics?"

I nodded again.

"Great!" He said, "Then I'm guessing you study mathematics and physics, like me!"

I looked at him. He seemed like a nice guy. He was blond, with longish hair and slightly pale skin which currently seemed a little flushed, stretched over a well formed, albeit slightly delicate bone structure. I suddenly realized that his discomfort was due to shyness. But why was he being shy? I'd never had anyone be shy to me before...

"Yes I am," I said, forgetting about my worries about my voice.

"So... I know we have a two hour-long break after this. How about you join my mates and I for lunch at the student canteen?"

At these words, I felt my stomach rumble. I was missing my breakfast, and had forgotten to make sandwiches. I could afford to go to the canteen for lunch this one time...

"Sure!" I answered.

He beamed at me.

After another hour-long lecture with an increasingly tedious mathematician lecturer, I walked with my new blond friend and his mates through the light rain and towards the canteen. A couple of them were having a debate about quantum football, a sort of game they had found online simulating a game of football using quantum physics instead of classical physics.

The others, to my surprise, were all walking on either side of me or behind me, as if they were my bodyguards. Except that bodyguards don't usually all talk to the person they are protecting at the same time. It was a confusing conversation, but by the time we had gotten to the canteen, I had learnt most of their names and had told them mine (Elise that is, not Erik).

Once inside the mess hall, we walked up to the queue, where Thomas, my new blond friend, insisted that I went first. I tried to argue with him, but as all his friends insisted, I quickly found myself ahead and in front of the stocky dinner lady who was serving us. Ignorant of the daily menu, I hesitated, feeling embarrassed as the long queue behind me shifted impatiently.

Thomas quickly came to my aid though, and helped me choose which salad to go for. I wouldn't usually go for salad, but I somehow didn't feel like having anything heavy or greasy. I guess that my nervousness would have prevented me from stomaching much anyway. Once served, I went to pay for the meal, followed by Thomas, who was still close on my tail.

Once again, the same paying embarrassment came up as I hopelessly tried to retrieve my coin from my skinny jeans, and nearly had to fight my new acquaintance off to stop him from paying for my meal. I was everyone being so nice to me? I mean, sure, students tend to be friendly, but I had never been this well treated by random strangers before...

We found a table, and started digging in. As I slowly went through my bean salad, I listened to the boys debating about some obscure aspect of quantum mechanics underlined by Schrödinger's equation. I couldn't concentrate much however, and nor, it seemed, could Thomas. I'm sure he was staring at me for much of the meal, and it quickly made me feel rather uncomfortable.

Once I had finished my meal, I thanked my new friends for their company, and decided to leave for the library to get some work done. I didn't usually go to the library, but for some reason I really didn't feel like spending more time with all these guys. I wasn't sure if it was because of they were obviously geeky, or if there was something else, but I was really feeling very awkward.

They all seemed very sorry to see me go, Thomas most of all, and I felt a little bad as I finally sat down at a lone table in the library.

The next hour and a half were spent working at a seemingly sluggish rate as I tried to ignore the feeling that people all around me were staring at me. I knew I was reddening slowly as I looked down at my obvious breasts and my skinny jeans, which accentuated all my feminine curves. As self-conscious as I was, I cannot express how glad I was when it came time for my next lecture, which I rushed to, very much looking forward to getting home soon.

The next couple of hours were spent listening to the drone of my lecturers, feeling terribly hot. It wasn't just that I was feeling embarrassed, but I also had the distinct impression that a lot of people (mostly guys) were making it a point of sitting down next to me, quickly followed by their groups of friends who sat next to them. This culminated with me always finding myself in the center of a group of students, appreciating just how much warmth was radiating off of them, and how their stench of sweat was more pungent then I had ever remembered.

As soon as my last lecture ended, I got to the bus stop as soon as possible and jumped in, having already wrestled my return ticket out of my pocket during the end of the previous lecture. I quickly found a seat and rested my head against the glass, watching the scenery as I cooled off. God I couldn't wait to be male again. Anymore of this humiliation of my masculinity and of myself would drive me crazy.

I finally arrived home, and quickly entered the house. My room was right next to the entrance, and I started going through my keys to unlock it when I saw one of my housemates enter the sitting room, which gave directly onto the entrance hall. He hadn't noticed me yet, but I nearly panicked as thoughts of what would happen if he saw a girl breaking into my room raced through my head. I finally found the right key and opened my bedroom door.

Once inside, I was in such a hurry to change into a guy that I nearly forgot to change out of my female clothes. I then undid my jeans and pulled them down my hairless legs, still marveling at how slim they seemed to be, before taking my luridly pink top off. I was still fumbling with the strap of my bra, when I noticed from the corner of my eye that I had forgotten to close my bedroom door, and that someone was gaping at me from the entrance.

I turned around in panic, trying to cover myself, and saw that it was Henry.

"Need some help with that?" He asked after a short, awkward pause.

Furious, I slammed the door in his face. I locked it, and went back to undoing my bra. It was difficult, but I eventually succeeded and took it off. I then pulled my panties down, uncovering my pink sex.

I hesitated for a moment, looking straight down at the small bud that was all I could see of it, as I stood straight. It looked terribly small and delicate. I reached down to touch it, and felt a strange tingling sensation come up my spine as I felt the incredible sensitivity of that part of my new body. I took in a shallow breath, before shaking my head.

I shouldn't think about that, I tried telling myself, I'm a guy, not a girl! I shouldn't have these things, let alone think about the pleasure they can bring me, or at least not in this manner.