You Are Loved

Ah, My readers. Much as I love you, you are a very distracting nuisance sometimes. "When will we hear from you again?" Constant emails and postings on the Internet. The Internet really is a wonderful thing is it not? Anyone anywhere with a computer and a phone line can be connected to almost anywhere else. Since I am a total Technophile I can't travel without having a laptop, and Internet, and then the constant irritant of your messages. Don't get me wrong; I loved all of your positive comments. I do enjoy writing. However you have also broken into a very exciting part of my life after my visit to Becky.

Do you want to hear about it?

I thought so...

Part Two: Tossing and Turning

My dreams were turbulent. I dreamt frantic visions of Becky tossing and turning, with tubes jutting out at horrid angles. She is sweating as a dark shape looms over her, tied down and unable to move. She screams in pain and in terror and then lies still. I move over to her on the bed, and she is cold. I see her in a coffin, and it being lowered into the ground. Noises and Crying. Mary is there, looking forlorn. I must be dreaming. I cannot wake up. I am screaming in my dream, blood tears flowing down my cheeks. I see my wonderful Rebecca walking among the graves, at her own funeral. She comes to me and looks at me sadly. I am slammed with the psychic equivalent of a dump truck. She is sending me a message stronger than anything I have ever felt and I cannot escape her psychic hold. A feeling of loss and despair, my own Becca, my love and my life is gone. I throw up all over the graves, and wake to find myself covered in bloody vomit, unable to stop crying.

I crawl off my bed and onto the ground and lay there, a shivering cold mass. I flatten myself into the floor in an effort to get control over myself. Bloody sweat and blood tears stain my pj's. It is night.

I clean up, and put on some comedy to try to calm myself down and stop crying. I wipe up my face, to remove the blood tears. Seeing a vampire cry is frightening to those who do not expect to see a thing cry blood. I ignore my hunger. I have to find out why I got hit by such a strong psychic dream.

I got dressed and left my flat. Finding a secluded spot I shot up into the night. Several hours later I landed in Sydney, always being sure to travel in the darkness. I touched down beside Rebecca's apartment. It was a small basement apartment in Sydney's western end. I knocked on her door, and after a few moments she answered.

Becca is a beautiful girl, standing about 5'9', with long flowing brown hair, tied up in a ponytail. Mesmerizing brown eyes and fair skin. She has a slim body and small breasts that would fill my hand perfectly.

"ALEX!"

She throws herself at me with a kiss and a very tight hug. We go for a walk in Meadowbank Park, and talk down by the Harbor for hours. We catch up on what's been going on in our lives. Dose of pain as I hear about her life, knowing that mine was stolen. In short it was a very pleasant evening, but even without my psychic gifts I could tell that there was something wrong.

I let it rest though. She'll tell me when she's ready. I feign being jetlagged and beg a dark room to sleep in.

The next evening Becky and I went Downtown to see Die Valkurie at the Opera. We were on the way home when Becky looked over at me.

"Alex?" She said

" Yeah?" I said, with a shudder for my normal standards of vocabulary.

" I have something to tell you... Promise you won't get too upset"

Cold fear gripped me. Found her one true soul mate? Getting married, and not to me? I know that these sound horrible, but I can't help it. I really love the girl. I'd do anything for her.

" I'm going to die"

Silence

"What?"

She glanced over at me.

"Remember before you left, when I was in that car crash with my Footie coach? I had to have blood transfusions? They were tainted. I got HIV from the blood at the hospital"

Bad Blood. Just like me.

"How long do you have?"

" Not long, or so they tell me. They can't really say, as long as I stay healthy it could be months."

Stay healthy, I hear you and indeed myself thinking, Ok that's not too bad, I can handle that. After all does not my very presence keep illness away? I can live with this. I can live with her and "Nurse" her to health. Or so I thought. It turns out that there are some illnesses that I just can't do anything about. Over the next few weeks my dearest Rebecca, who I've been in love with for years, took a turn for the worst.

I can't take it. I really can't. I don't pretend that what I did was good. It was probably bad. It was absolutely selfish. No doubt. And yet what am I if not an honest person. If I can't admit what I did to my loyal readers then I have no business writing out to you.

She had come home from the hospital and was very pale and shaky. It was a cold night in Sydney and there were thunderclouds on the horizon. The faintest shimmer of the moon was shining through the thin clouds that preceded the storm.

"Becky, I've made you some dinner" I said.

She smiled at me warmly and walked into the kitchen.

"Smells good. What did you make?" she asked.

"Tuna Casserole"

Silence. Glorious and blessed silence as we just looked at each other. She gave a faint shudder and leaned back against the doorframe.

"Becky, are you OK?"

" Just a bit dizzy. Can you get my pills from out of my purse?"

I dashed just faster than human speed and handed her the pills.

"Thanks Alex, you're the best friend I could ever want," She said.

Fuck. I don't WANT to be just her best friend!!

"Look Becky..."

"Yeah?"

" I think I love you"

Very smooth Alex. Just lay it on the line right? I'm not usually so self critical but you have to understand that Rebecca is more to me than anything else, and I want everything to be perfect with her. But then a surprise...

Once again Rebecca was throwing herself at me. Her lips were soft and sweet as they touched mine. Whoa. I admit that I was taken aback a bit but I responded to her eagerly.

" I love you too Alex" She said.

And then she went back to kissing me. An instant flood of happiness warmed me to the very core of my cold dead body. She gave a violent cough.

"I don't feel so good" she muttered.

I picked her up off the floor and carried her into her bedroom. By the time I got there she was half asleep from her pills. She looked so awful. She was dying. I could sense it. She was not going to make it through the night. As if to prove it she gave a shuddering cough and her breathing got very shallow.

What could I do? My best friend, my love, my muse, my soul mate is dying in front of me. She opened her eyes.

"Alex" she murmured and passed out.

"Shit. Shit Shit shit shit shit!" I screamed and cursed. Becky don't die on me. Please don't die on me. I can't take it. I can't control myself. I flew into a rage at her.

"How dare you die and leave me alone! You want to play it like this you bitch? Fine then!" I screamed and raved.

I grabbed her arm and bit. The blood filled my mouth and I was not delicate as I sucked her almost dry. I drank and drank. I could taste the medication and the lung infection that she could just not get better from. She gave a shuttering breath and then stopped breathing. I quickly cut my own wrist and put the cut over her mouth and allowed the blood to flow down her throat. By the time I realized that I was passing my curse to her as well I felt sick, but I could not stop. I could not loose her.

Suddenly she awoke and started screaming as her body died, and she became like me. It was a long night of pain for her but I held her hand through it all. When the sun arose I barely had enough energy left to close the door and blinds and drag us into her closet and close the door.

It was warm and soft and white. I was floating after the end of the universe, and it was not black as night. It was warm and white and soft. I heard voices. Singing. Laughing. Joy. I looked beside me. Becky was there. Her head turned toward me at the same instant I looked at her. I smiled. She smiled. Her smile stretched to unnatural proportions and she turned multicolored. Then she turned white. Long fangs grew from her upper jaw. She started biting me. Pain. Drawing blood. Weaker and weaker, consciousness slipping as she stole my blood. Fire in my veins. I yell for her to stop. She does not let up. I'm going to die. Oh god!

I wake up, and can see through the crack under the closet door that the sun has just set. My thirst is next to unbearable. Becky won't awake for at least another hour. I'll have to take her out to drink tonight as well. Her first kill. It will be a kill for her. There is little that can be done to control a young vampire's thirst. I surf the Internet for a while as I wait for Becky to wake.

When she does, she walks straight up to me. I'm waiting for some sign that she understands the evil that I've done to her. I keep my mind open so she can see what I'm thinking. The blood has honed her psychic gifts, just as it did mine. She straddles me where I sit and kisses me long and hard on the lips.

"Thank you Alex", she whispers.

"But..." she cuts me off with another kiss.

"I am really thirsty, lets to for a walk". She says.

I'm shocked. She's not mad at me. She seems... no she IS happy that I changed her. I can feel her love for me radiate from her body. Her smooth, pale, cool, beautiful body, which I am so incredibly drawn to.

We walk along the streets. The night is warm and the brilliant stars in the sky twinkle overhead. We are holding hands, two beautiful pale beings. I keep my mind open for anyone that deserves our dark purpose tonight. After Becky and myself have drank ourselves full we return to her apartment for a little chat, or so I thought.

We stepped into her dark apartment and she turned and gazed at me.

"I've waited a long time for you Alex." She says.

She leans forward and slowly kisses me. Her hands run up and down my back as she pulls me close to her. She isn't used to her new strength and our heads collide with a thump.

"Ouch! Sorry Alex..." she says with embarrassment.

I scoop her up and carry her to her bedroom. She undresses me in a flurry of clothes and with preternatural speed she has me pinned on the bed. She was kissing me furiously, while with agonizing slowness started to remove her own clothing. I caressed her back and neck. She rolled me on top of her and kicked off the rest of her clothes.

"I've been waiting for this for so long." she said.

Ecstasy fills my heart.

She guides me into her tight body. Finally a feeling of completeness washed over me. She rakes my back with her fingers, and I caress her breasts and body as I begin thrusting. I was not gentle with her, because I could tell that's what she wanted. Our bodies moved in perfect synchronization. We climax simultaneously. Panting we kiss and as the sun rises we sleep naked in each other's arms.

This was the best I'd ever had because it was not just a one-night stand. I was in love with the girl. I had everything I'd ever wanted as a human. It was so right that we were doing this. I wished that the sun would not rise and this night would never end.

I was spent. Exhausted. It was a wild night, and certainly not one that I had expected to be having... well ever. Even when I was alive I never thought it would be a real possibility. Even after a full day's sleep I was hardly able to keep my eyes open. I needed to feed. Becky woke up and looked at me.

"Hey lover boy"

"Hello yourself cutie"

The three months that had passed since I made her a vampire had just been wonderful. We needed that much time just to finish catching up on the years that had kept us apart. Of course the sex every night was awesome. Our love just kept on growing, and now we were married.

"We had better get moving beautiful, if we want to beat the sun."

We lifted off from right in front of her apartment, up into the warm night. Several hours later we touched down on the snowy streets of Times Square. Again we followed the night, so it was only 7:00 in New York. We walked hand in hand to a Theatre and bought tickets to that evening's performance. The show we ended up seeing was a beautiful coming of age story about some kids from the 19thC, and how nothing has changed since then for children. We left the theatre moved and happy to have stumbled onto the show. We took a long walk in Central Park. The sweet smell of fresh snow filled our noses, as flakes of snow reflected the lamp light overhead. The sky glowed a soft purple from all the lights in the city. A lone aircraft flew overhead, and a horse drawn carriage moved past us silently.

I turned and gazed at Becky, her sweet eyes reflecting the snow passing in front of a lamp.

"How do you like New York?" I asked.

" I love it Alex. It's just like we planned."

Becky does not seem to have any of the difficulties that I do with being a Vampire. That's what we are. Two Vampires in love, wandering the globe. A trip that two young friends planned, for when they would finally be able to be together again. A trip that we never got to do alive, but damn it we're still here and the world waits...