Within Amie

***

Hi!!! This is the FIFTH installment of WITHIN AMIE

I'm a part time English speaker so naturally, there would be grammar mistakes and confusing sentences here and there LOL so I'm sorry for that.

With love, Jayleen

***

Darkness overwhelmed me as my arms and legs flailed uselessly in mid air. A sudden gush of cold wind blew me and thump! I could feel myself falling onto someone. The person groaned in pain. I muttered apologies as quickly as I could as I stood up and straightened my clean tight bloody red dress.

"Sorry, Josephine," I said to the nineteen-year-old girl with long red curly hair. She seemed to be surprise to see me and then broke into a big girly smile. I couldn't pin-point on my exact landing but at least I was at the manor and apparently at the correct storey level. I had definitely improved my portal spells.

"Amie!" she squealed happily and then flung both of her arms to my neck and hugged me.

"I'm glad to see you too, Joey," I said to her, calling her nickname, patting her shoulder.

"Oh wow," Josephine breathed out, "I thought you can read minds and move things only, Amie, I didn't know that you can see the future."

I looked at her with a puzzled expression. "I -- I can't see the future, Joey, whatever do you mean?"

But it seemed like she didn't hear my question as she twirled around like a ballerina, oh well, a ballerina with a pointy tail. "Edmund was planning to take you back home tomorrow," she said in a sing-song chirpy voice. "Now he doesn't have to waste any precious time!" she said cheerfully.

I frowned at her. I was beginning to get more confused with every word that came out from her mouth. I felt like shaking her straight and demanded her to tell me what the heck was going on here but she continued to twirl around, leaving me alone. I didn't even get the chance to call her when she turned and disappeared into the corridor.

"Hmm, that was odd," I said to myself as I walked quickly to my bedroom. I felt really tired from all the dimension-travelling that I knew that I needed a short little nap before I go out and find Edmund but with Josephine knowing my unannounced arrival, he would probably find me first with a blink of an eye.

I hadn't exactly figured out on what to tell Edmund about my almost-having-sex with a mortal. It seemed easier to just not tell him and just let it pass away like a bad nightmare but it didn't feel right.

My conscience just wouldn't let me be -- it won't let me off the hook!

I knew that Edmund would probably react even worse than my mother. I imagined that he would revert to his demonic side and wreck havoc. He would most likely targeted Robert without a doubt and I knew that I would have to interfere before any innocent lives would be lost but then again, I highly doubt that Robert's soul was innocent in the first place.

However that didn't mean that I want his blood on my name.

My heart was still bleeding from the humiliation, I couldn't believe that he had rejected me. How could he call me a monster? How could he throw things at me as if I was some sort of a nuisance that needed to be removed?

My bed was a heaven of comfort for me as I threw my high heels off my feet and went under the duvet. I sighed contently to myself as I snuggled in my bed and sleep started to creep into me.

My mind was still racing with overlapping thoughts about Edmund, Robert and my near-infidelity but then, I didn't think anymore as I slowly submit myself to the ever-desperately needed sleep.

Mom was right.

I shouldn't postpone things that I should have done long ago...

But for now, I need to sleep.

***

"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty!" Josephine chirped, banging into my bedroom. I groaned at her but I didn't open my eyes as I rolled to my side and continued to sleep. She growled at me in a rather annoyed way but then, she had her revenge by pulling my duvet off me.

"JOEY! WHAT THE HELL?" it seemed like I had just fallen asleep for mere minutes only but then, one look at the window told me that I had fallen asleep the entire night. The bloody red sunlight streamed into my glass-paned window, I looked at Josephine who perched on the edge of my bed with this mad excited look. I sighed as I sat up straight, my back to my bed's headboard. I didn't have the mood to talk yet, why couldn't she just leave me alone?

But Josephine didn't seem like she was going to let me be alone since she grinned at me demonically and chirped, "Has he told you?"

"Who told me what?" I was confused and I had to admit, a little crabby.

"Edmund!" she said in a way that made me believe that she thought I was being stupid. "I can't believe the day has finally come!" her voice grew more excited with every passing word.

Edmund hadn't told me anything, I thought to myself but then again, I hadn't meet him last night when I had arrived back home. I had steadfastly avoided the meeting since I wasn't particularly ready. "No, what are you so excited about?" I was getting impatient and irked with her bubbly attitude.

Seriously, I didn't have the mood for girly gossips!

"Oh, I won't spoil Edmund's surprise for you," she told me, her silvery-blue eyes sparkled. "You'll just have to wait..."

Whatever, it wasn't like I care anyway, well, at least for now. I was morbidly curious but I needed some answers on my problem. I looked at Josephine for a moment, wondering to myself if I could tell her about my little adventure in the mortal dimension. "Joey, can you keep a secret?" I asked her.

She squealed in excitement, "Oh, of course I do! I am keeping a secret from you this very moment!" she admitted. I rolled my eyes at her.

"I met a human boy," I admitted in a soft voice.

Her eyes went wide, "What??" her voice was loud and surprised, "What about Edmund?" she asked me again, wanting to know, just like my mother.

I sighed at her, "Edmund didn't know the whole story," I paused as she sat down cross-legged at the end of my bed, "Now, please, don't interrupt me, or I won't tell you anything." I warned her.

She nodded her head vigorously. "I'll be quiet!" she promised.

I bit my lips, "I went on a date with him," I said in a whisper, "We went to the beach at first because the party that he wanted to take me to wasn't going to start until it's 10 so while we were walking at the beach -,"

Josephine cut my words off, like always, her eyes flared excitedly, "You stripped his soul?"

I glared at her, "Do you want to hear the damned story or not?"

"Sorry! Sorry Amie! I'll be real quiet!" she made a zipper gesture to her mouth.

I breathed out, trying to calm myself, "We kissed and then, our passion heightened and even though we were at an open space where anyone could have practically seen us. We forgot everything or rather perhaps we didn't care," I paused, blush starting to creep onto me but I continued anyway, "We got undressed and he laid me on the sand, we kissed and kissed and then before he could even -- well, you know, made love to me, my body reverted to my demonic form and he screamed in horror," I groaned at the memory of him throwing sand at me, "He threw sand and rocks at me, calling me bad names, how I was a monster, a demon freak! I got so angry that I used my power on him. I threw him to the surfboards and sent a tidal wave on him but I knew if I didn't run away from there, I could have killed him so I ran."

Josephine was quiet. Too quiet for comfort.

I looked at her nervously, "Joey?"

Her eyes flared at me, "How could you betray Edmund?"

"I -- I didn't exactly betray him!" I said defensively, "At least I didn't make love with the mortal."

"YOU ALMOST MADE LOVE WITH THE DAMNED MORTAL!" she hissed in a rather loud voice, I gasped and quickly covered her mouth with my hand.

"Please don't yell," I pleaded at her.

"This totally beats Edmund's surprise," she said to me.

"What is Edmund's surprise anyway?" I asked her, wanting to know.

She shook her head, "You'll just have to wait for him to tell you what it is," she paused, "You need to tell him the truth also, it wouldn't be fair you know."

I groaned at her, "I thought you might say that, even my mother said the same thing."

"Then, your mother is a very wise woman," she replied back, folding her hands to her chest.

"Joey," I said to her desperately, "I don't know what to do, I kept on feeling this guilt and strange emotions to Edmund and then, whenever I do, Robert would come into my mind." I covered my face with both of my hands.

"Ah, so the mortal's name is Robert, huh?" she asked me.

I sighed dejectedly. Josephine couldn't even help ease my pain but instead she seemed to double it more. I knew that this whole thing was literally caused by me. I was too tempted with the forbidden that I had exposed myself to a mortal. The Elders would have punished me severely if they finds out about my little affair. I looked at Josephine again, she looked as if she was deep in thoughts of something but before I could even ask on what she was thinking. She snapped her fingers and then, looked at me with the same excited eyes that had woken me up in the first place.

"Just wipe the damned Robert's memory off," she told me.

"Huh?" I was confused. It seemed like confusion and me were inseparable these days.

"Oh c'mon Amie!" she said with annoyance, "You know full well that the Elders would punish you if they finds out about this, they won't ever allow you set foot on the mortal dimension. Now what do you think your mother would feel about that?"

"They would kill Robert too, don't they?" I asked her quietly.

"Ugh, I don't give a freaking care at the stupid insignificant mortal, how dare he called you a monster and threw sand at you!" she said angrily, "If I saw him, I will suck his soul dry, hah! That would serve him right to spend his remaining life like a zombie, insipid fool!"

"I can't just go to his front door and wipe his memory off, Joey," I told her, "And besides I really don't want to see him again."

"But you exposed yourself," she reminded me, "What if he tells his mortal friends?"

"I don't think they would believe him, Joey," I said, reasoning with her. "The mortals think that supernatural things are just meant for movies." I remembered what Robert had said to me initially about my asking him about his opinions on the supernatural. It was kind of hilarious for him to think about movies at that moment while I was standing there beside him, looking very real.

Josephine was right though, there was still a chance of him telling his friends about me but honestly, what was the odd that they would believe him in the first place?

He might demand to my mother to know about the truth but then again, he didn't know that she was my blood mother so my mother was literally protected from him. He might have little bits of doubt on her since he knew that I had been staying at her place during my time in the mortal dimension.

Josephine stood up from my bed and went to stand by the window. She touched the glass-paned and said, "Edmund really loves you, Amie,"

"I -- I know, I mean...well, actually I hadn't been completely honest with you, Joey," I told her, she turned her head to me and waited for my continuation, so I gave a little sigh, "The first day when we had arrived in the mortal dimension, we stayed in a hotel first because we hadn't been able to find my mother at that time."

"Yes, and then?" she prompted.

"We kissed but before anything could progress more than that, I stopped the kiss," I told her.

"WHAT?" her eyes went wide, "Are you serious? You guys kissed? For real?"

I nodded, a lump started to form in my throat, "And -- and then, when we stayed at my mother's place..." I paused, unsure if I should tell her but her burning eyes were fixed on me, "We kissed again and you know, just like the case with Robert, we had almost made love, I mean, we would have done it if it weren't for my mother who had caught us by accident."

Josephine squealed excitedly, "OH MY GOD! ARE YOU FOR REAL??"

I laughed at her excitement, "Do I look like someone who would lie to you?"

"That is such a freaking turn on, Amie!" she told me, "Wow, you have such kinky taste on how to lose your virginity," she paused, "First, getting caught by your mother and then in a public beach!"

"I'm still a virgin, you moron," I laughed at her.

"Well, not exactly," she told me, "I bet Edmund gave you a good orgasmic lick!"

I blushed at her, "You know, this conversation is getting pretty awkward,"

"I'm not!" she told me, "Tell me every bit of detail!" she demanded.

"Uh, there's no way that I'm going to tell you, Joey! It's private!" I told her.

"Oh c'mon! Give Joey something excitingly kinky to fantasize about!" she pouted at me.

"Why don't you go and have sex with your boyfriend instead?" I asked her with a laugh.

"I will, right after you told me everything you guys did!" she sat on the bed, her eyes glowed, wanting to know more about my little adventure.

I shook my head as I threw a pillow at her, "I'm not going to tell you anything, Joey!"

She stuck her tongue out at me, "You're such a spoilsport Amie!" she laughed at me. "So, what are you going to do about this love triangle?"

I had asked myself the exact same question and honestly, I hadn't got any slightest idea on what to do. Maybe my mother was right, the answer was there all along, right in front of my eyes but why couldn't I see it? Was there something that I had missed altogether?

"What do you honestly feel about them?" Josephine asked me again when I didn't reply to her earlier question.

I looked at her as I hugged my knees to my chest, "You know what Joey? I don't know how to answer that question," I paused, "I'm confused actually." I admitted to her.

"Why are you confused? Don't you think, the answer is already right in front of you?" she asked me, arching her right eyebrow.

"Why do you say that?" I asked her exasperatedly, "My mother! You! All of you said the same thing! If you know the answer, why can't you just tell me?"

Joey clicked her tongue disapprovingly, "Because you need to find the answer on your own," she said as a matter-of-factly, "We can't make the decisions for you, we can only advice you on which seems to be a better option for you."

"And that option is?" I prompted.

She smiled at me, "Don't think too hard, Amie, you'll see what you REALLY want." She patted my head as if I was a little girl.

"Can you at least tell me what Edmund's surprise is about?" I asked her.

She grinned at me, "I think when he gives you his surprise, you will know what you want."

I didn't like how cryptic she sounded. "OK I give up," I said to her, "I'm going to go and have a long nice relaxing bath and then eat."

She laughed. "Do you want me to call Edmund for you? I think he'd love giving you a hand in the shower."

I stuck my tongue at her as I leaped down the four-poster king-sized bed and went to the bathroom, seriously, Josephine was going to drive me insane someday.

I knew that I would have to face Edmund sooner or later and he probably could guess that I had been up to no good. I knew that I wasn't technically his girlfriend, I mean, yes, sure, we shared an intense kiss and a hot make-out session but did that mean anything more significant? I was starting to realize that I sounded like a selfish brat. Edmund was far older than me, a total 11 years of gap, he could have chosen any girl to love and yet he chose me.

I knew that he had previous past relationships here and there but it wasn't as serious as he had felt with me -- well, he claimed it to be anyway. I remembered when I was about fifteen, I had being envious whenever I see beautiful demons with curvy figure and long sleek hair that had linked arm in arm with him. I had never realized it until before that perhaps my jealousy wasn't entirely based on the demoness's physical appearance but a growing feeling that I had denied myself all of this time?

Was it even remotely possible?

Was I in love with Edmund Sylvern?

Would this explain the guilt that rose in my gut and the desperate need to see him even though I couldn't look him straight in the eye?

Had I, Amelee Bernaugh, lived in denial?

And I had just realized that I had made more unanswerable questions to myself. Great...

***

When I had finished taking my bath, Josephine was gone from my bedroom. It was kind of a relief to not have her around at the moment. I loved her to bits like a sister but sometimes, she could be positively annoying -- just like a real sister!

I had put on a dark blue sheath dress that hugged to every curve around my body. I let my hair fell down on my shoulders in gentle waves. My stomach welcomed the smell of delicious food that wafted as I entered the kitchen and then took whatever food I wanted there before going to the dinning room alone. I couldn't help but to notice the other demons flashing me a secret smile that oddly looked just like Josephine's.

I ignored them, my stomach had grumbled and churned. I sat down and quickly eat whatever was on my plate. I washed my food away down my throat with a glass of cold blue-coloured liquid that tasted in between of milk, mint and a hint of vanilla.

I couldn't help the feeling that I was being watched and true to my thoughts, I could see a number of demons looking at me from the corner of my eye. What was up with them? I wondered. I tried to ignore it but then, I found out that I couldn't. I felt constricted and trapped, it was as if every move I made was being watched.

And in truth, it was.

But I couldn't figure out why. Was this related to Edmund's surprise for me? If it was indeed so, I would definitely thank Edmund with a big kick on his groin. Feeling uncomfortable in the pit of my stomach, I stood up and hurried out from the dinning room. I bit my lips as I went down the stairs and then the guards at the front door, nodded at me before opening the door for me.

I went out through the door wordlessly, I didn't need to look back to know that the two guards were looking at me. A horrified thought of what if the Elders had found out about my breach? But then, I shook the thought away, it couldn't be because of that, if it was true, then the guards would have thrown me into the dungeon and not let me go out whenever I pleased.

I knew that I had missed Ersta, as ironically as it sounded like, I did miss the feel of the cool air around me as well as the sight of the bloody red sun and the occasional mists that gathered up in tall trees. I froze when I saw a familiar figure sitting cross-legged just by the lake, throwing random pebbles to the cold reddish water.

Oh come on, Amie! My conscience muttered in my head, quit being a chicken!

I took a deep breath, my legs felt like jelly as I approached the unsuspecting figure. I bent down and touched his shoulder. Edmund looked up to his right and smiled at me widely, "Welcome back home!" he enthused happily as I sat down by his side.

"Thanks," I replied back, not as excited as he had sounded.

"What's up with you today, Miss Crabby Face?" he teased me.

"What's this surprise that Joey kept on saying about?" I asked him as I threw a pebble, "Do you know how many stares and snickers I got today?" I asked him, not bothering to wait for his reply, I continued, "It's like I'm funny to them."

He grinned as he grabbed my hand and stood up, making me to stand up too, "Let's go for a little walk, eh Amie?"

I frowned at him but I let him walked with me anyway. I wondered when should I tell him about my uh -- apparently to Mom and Josephine -- infamous infidelity.

"Aren't you curious to why I came home early?" I asked him suddenly.

"No, I'm happy that you decided to come home, it saves me the time to get back to the mortal dimension and get you," he chuckled.