I watched him for a long time before the perfect chance presented itself. The moment came while I was dozing, concealed among the high branches of a tall pine tree, my face tucked snug beneath a wing as I tried to ignore the aching of my talons and the rumble of hunger in my stomach.
Human shouting woke me. Unlike some of my sisters, I cannot understand even the most basic words of their language, so what they were saying was a mystery to me. But I understood the tone – it was high and angry.
He was arguing with the female he shared his home with. I had no idea why. Human relationships are bafflingly complex. She stood at the entrance of their habitation shouting at him as he stalked away from her through the area of broken ground where they grow and tend the plants that humans like to eat. Halfway he turned and shouted something back at her.
I had heard similar things over the past few days as I had waited and watched. Usually they fought inside their habitation. Another human male had been involved. At least, I had seen one earlier. He had visited the female while the male I had chosen had been absent. That visit seemed to be the cause for their argument now.
The female shouted one last time and then went back inside, slamming closed the slab of wood that protected their habitation. The male took a hesitant step back towards his home then turned and walked away, his eyes downcast. I unfurled my wings and eased my talons and waited until he was close to the edge of the woods. Then I swooped. He didn't see me since I had the sun at my back. I was on him even as he noticed my shadow. I grasped his shoulders in my talons and dragged him up into the air.
He cried out in terror, but louder still were the cries of the female. She had seen me swoop and had burst out of their habitation, that sharp length of metal that humans favour as a replacement for claws clutched in those feeble things called 'hands'. I laughed, soaring far out the reach of her wild swipes, my wings beating the air with a new-found vigour born of my success. Yes! If she'd wished to keep hold of her male she should have watched him more closely, and now he was mine!
I left the valley far behind and climbed into where the air was thinner and cooler. The human's struggling at last stopped. The air was thinner here, and humans cope badly with it. I glanced down, worried by his lack of movement, but he was still alive. I had heard from my sisters that the inexperienced sometimes forget how fragile humans are and inadvertently kill them with their first swoop, not realising until they've brought the body home that their hunting has been in vain.
I loosened the grip of my talons just in case, but only a little. Humans have also often fallen to their deaths from the talons of a sloppy huntress.
I was careful. I had spent too long on the hunt, expended too much of my precious energy to have wasted it all. This time I had refused to give up the hunt until I had succeeded - I would not suffer the agony of 'must' again! Those hideous nights of fever and itchiness, the swollen, sickening need of my body, the pity of my sisters far worse than the whispered jokes at my expense. I was not young anymore and a lack of success could no longer be put down to inexperience. For that I had endured burning hot shame far worse than unfulfilled lust.
But at last my efforts had paid off. I had watched, waited patiently, learned the movement of my chosen prey. I had been ready even to risk a fight with the female to take him, and so the luck of the opportunity given to me was all the more welcome.
He was small, it had to be admitted, and very young, although how young I was not sure. The female was older, that I knew. I had seen her boss him around as only human females can.
The air above grew chill. I felt the updrafts of warmer air from beneath and felt before I saw that I had come to the edge of the mountains. I knew my eyrie was not far away. My eyes scanned the sky, the grey and white of the mountains' rock and snow. Sometimes a sister would try and take your prey from you. It was frowned upon, but in the agony of must many things that are frowned upon are known to happen.
I had worried in vain. I encountered no-one. My eyrie beckoned with its little ledge of rock and deep, inviting cave. It was an excellent eyrie and one I had had to defend on many an occasion. The morning sun warmed it delightfully and it faced away from the worst of the nightly winds that scour the mountains.
I dipped the leading edge of my wings, taking into account the heavier load I was carrying, heavier than any rabbit or small game I had carried there before. I was careful not to let go of my prey until I was well inside the cave. He fell a short distance into my nest, the soft fresh hay and foliage mixed with the lining of my down-feathers cushioning his fall. I landed beside him, perching on the edge of my nest. I leaned close to see how he had fared.
He was indeed a small specimen for his kind, and yet there had been something about his manner that had led me to choose him. I suppose humans might call such a thing 'cuteness', at least that is what I have heard my sisters who know something of the human language call such attractive vulnerability. He was being very 'cute' now, the way he cowered from me as he scrambled backwards against the far end of the nest.
I hopped into the nest and he scrambled backwards out of it. I pursued him, grinning. It was a fun game. There was nowhere he could run to. He came up against the wall of the cave and froze. He knew he was trapped.
I stepped over to him, awkward on my talons, but thinking perhaps that my hopping was alarming him. I did not want him to panic and fling himself from the ledge. It had happened to others of my sisters before. I made low sounds in my throat, the sounds you use to calm chicks, and spread out my wings so that I could block him should he choose to dart around me. Humans can move fast when they wish to.
He lay back, eyes wide, too scared to try and escape. Or perhaps he was injured? I leaned close and he shivered. I examined his shoulders: his hide - or rather the hides of other animals that humans wear to protect them from the elements - was torn, ripped by my talons. The flesh was broken and there was blood.
I brought my face to one shoulder and began to lick at it. A shudder spread through his body and I was afraid that he had been injured to the point of shock. But the wounds were light, barely skin-deep, although they bled freely.