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Sashegh watched the men make new birch bark canoes and repair damaged ones. Sometimes she saw Fewallo work with them. They taught him how to make new bows and arrows, flint arrowheads, and flint knives. My brother is becoming a Pewa, she thought. She saw some of the women making new deerskin clothing and new tents from hides. She wondered what she would look like in deerskin.
The Pewas were skilled at making small fires that would burn all night and give off some warmth. Vavana made one in the middle of their tent every night. The smoke escaped through a small opening at the top of the tent. Sashegh lay close to the fire, covered in bearskins, and slept in comfort through the bitter cold nights. Often their tent door would be covered in snow in the morning and she would have to dig her way out to relieve her bladder.
During the long winter evening hours, Sashegh enjoyed participating in Pewa entertainment consisting of music, dancing, and storytelling. She loved listening to them play their flutes and drums made from wood and deerskin. Some would sing along while others played songs on their flutes. They would chant and dance to the beat of the deerskin drums. She noticed during these events that many of the Pewas her age also entertained themselves by flirting and kissing. She found herself spending a good many of her waking hours these days thinking about such things.
Sashegh knew Bequa often slept with Nammi. Bequa still lived with her parents but told Sashegh they knew of her preference for girls and didn't mind her having female guests overnight. Sashegh knew Nammi also liked men. She heard Nammi had a suitor named Neolin who courted her. On the nights Nammi was with him, Bequa would seek out Sashegh and flirt with her.
Then one day Bequa introduced Sashegh to Nammi and everything changed in Sashegh's life. When she met Nammi she felt her pulse quicken, thinking, Nammi is beautiful. Her hair is black, soft, and shiny. Her body is curved delightfully in all the right places. Her eyes sparkle with light and laughter, reflecting an inner joy that seems to burn within her like a fire.
When Nammi spoke to her, Sashegh felt a strong connection take place between them, as if she knew all Nammi felt and all she was thinking. She felt Nammi could see into her soul and it was almost embarrassing. Sashegh was not sure what this feeling was she was having about Nammi, but it was strong, whatever it was.
Sashegh saw how Nammi was looking at her. She looked down at her own body self-consciously, thinking, I am glad I wore a short skirt today. I like the way she is looking at my legs. My breasts are still small and will probably always be small. She found herself hoping Nammi liked the way she looked.
Sashegh didn't see much of Nammi after that first meeting, but she did see a lot of Bequa. They often chatted late into the night. Bequa would always flirt with her. She would touch her often, laying a hand on her arm or her thigh as she talked to her. Sashegh didn't want her first relationship to be with a woman and always pushed Bequa's hands away firmly. She thought, I have steamy daydream fantasies a lot but it is always with a man. In my fantasies, it is always Fennsen lying naked on top of me, his legs between my thighs, entering me as Vavana told me men do when making love to a woman.
Then one day after dreaming about him all night, waking to feel a wetness between her legs, Sashegh was amazed to see Fennsen stumble into the village with Nanong. It was obvious he had not eaten or slept in days. He looked terrible, but at least he was not injured.
She threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly and then, without planning it, she was kissing him passionately. Fennsen was too weak to resist and she felt him respond to her.
"Fennsen, it is so good to see you again," she said, after the kiss ended.
"It is good to see you too. I notice you're definitely not a little girl anymore. You're even prettier than I remember. You're truly beautiful."
Suddenly feeling shy, Sashegh deflected the compliment by changing the subject. "You and Nanong both look exhausted."
Fennsen nodded. "Yes. We had a hard journey here from Maginaugh. We walked across the ice, chopping holes through a two-foot thick crust to get water to drink. We had no food and didn't sleep much for fear of freezing to death in the cold. We took turns sleeping for short periods, one of us staying awake, to wake the other. We had no blankets or coats with us, only the clothing on our backs and our weapons. There was snow on the ice and more snow fell during our six days of walking. I was about to give up, lie down, and freeze to death when Nanong told me he saw the shoreline near his village."
"Will you please come to my tent? Let me take care of you and help you recover. You have been through a hard time."
Fennsen smiled warmly. "A nice rest in your tent sounds very good to me right now."
Sashegh held Fennsen's hand on the way back to Vavana's tent. When she entered with him, they saw Nanong and Vavana lying under a bearskin together kissing.
"Oh, excuse us," said Sashegh, embarrassed, and turned to leave.
"No, it's no problem Sashegh. Come in please and bring Fennsen with you. We are not going to do anything right now; Nanong is too exhausted. I imagine Fennsen is too. Besides, among the Pewas, being intimate with your lover or your mate is not something we hide from each other. Many people sleep in each tent and we make love in the midst of our families. This is even truer in the winter when it's so cold outside. So please come in and be warm by the fire and don't mind us."
Sashegh went to her bearskin on the other side of the fire, sat down and patted it. Fennsen came over and sat down with her. She saw Vavana and Nanong kissing again. She whispered to Fennsen, "Please tell me what happened to my mother and father."
She sensed his reluctance. All he said was, "There was a battle with the southerners, first around Suonaugh, and then inside after they broke through the gate. Some of the Magin were killed, but the last I saw of them, Mindoregh and Janno were still alive and fighting Ur's men."
Sashegh would not let it go with his brief answer. She asked, "Why did you and Nanong leave then, Fennsen? You are not telling me the full truth, are you?"
"The battle was over and Nanong was leaving to get help from his village. It was clear all the Magin men would be killed. They captured many of the women alive and held them captive.
Nanong said our women would be used as slaves like Vavana was by Ur. The children were hiding in the social hall. I don't know what will happen to them. Nanong convinced me we could do better coming here to get help, than we could staying there to die."
Sashegh thought and then realized this meant her father was probably dead and her mother a captive of Ur. She didn't want to behave like a little girl with Fennsen. She fought back her tears and was thankful he couldn't see her eyes in the dark.
She had mixed feelings about his leaving the battle, but said, "I'm glad you left Suonaugh with Nanong. I am so happy to see you still alive."
She kissed him again. Then he kissed her as he lay her down on the floor and pulled the bearskin over them. She felt his hands caressing her back as they kissed and she embraced him with increasing passion she had never felt before. For the moment she forgot her grief and lost herself in arousal. His hands began to explore her body, going under her shirt, feeling her bare breasts. She felt his aroused manhood pressing against her as he moved one leg on top of her. She knew he wanted her now and it made her feel like a real woman for the first time in her life. She wanted him too, wanted this to happen, tonight.
She let him undress her completely and kiss her body all over. Then she helped him quietly pull his pants off. Making as little noise as possible so Nanong and Vavana would not hear them, they coupled and made love. It hurt a little when he first penetrated her, but after a while it felt so good. Her body was on fire feeling him inside her.
