22

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Luna bolted upright "I've got to..."

"Fuck Luna, not again." Thorn grabbed for her.

"You are mine, you are not leaving me. I am yours, you can't throw that away."

"Thorn, baby, you're an idiot, and I love you." Luna moved into his body. "What I was saying was, I need to check on Gem."

"Well I think calling me an idiot is a bit harsh considering how our mornings have gone up until this point." He lowered her onto her back and gave her a very thorough morning kiss. "Let me show you how mornings are going to go from now on."

"Can I just ring Gem first?" She teased already wrapping her arms around his neck.

"She and Lucas are very busy. However, if you can behave for the morning Gemma, Rose and Lexi are coming this afternoon to discuss some wedding stuff with you."

"How would you like me to behave?" Luna ran her hand over his shoulder and down his front. Brushed her fingers along his length.

"Like a woman that can't get enough of her man, and never wants to bounce out of bed and rush off somewhere else. You keep trying to get away from me. You ran again last night." He then surprised her by tickling her till she couldn't breathe.

"Thorn, stop... stop... oh please stop." She begged between laughs and gasps.

"Fine, I'll stop right after..." He commenced the attack again. Then when he knew she was beyond speaking he said "I'll make breakfast, you get dressed."

"But I thought we were going to make love?"

"Make love? Honey listen to your body for a second, after the night you had you need a day off."

"Don't tell me what my body can cope with. I think you're just too ashamed to admit you're too old to keep up." She baited him.

"Good try love, but I'm not giving in. We have things to do today."

"Well I'm not talking wedding stuff with anyone till my mate makes love to me. He fucked me most of the night which was great, but I can't marry someone just because they're good in bed, or on the floor, or against a wall. I need more from my mate." She pouted at him. "Sweet words and soft teasing kisses. Gentle and slow touches." She began to run light fingertips over his chest, placing light kisses across his collar bone. "Good morning My Love." She lightly licked his nipple then drew it into her mouth as he growled in pleasure. "Let me love you Thorn. Let me make this the first of many beautiful mornings we wake together." She watched him roll onto his back in his surrender to her.

"Be gentle with me Little One." He smiled at her. She continued to alternate light touches of her fingers and her mouth. His hand caressed her head and the resulting movement of the ends of her hair across his body added to his pleasure. Low growls were regularly heard from deep in his chest now. "My Luna."

"Yes Thorn, forever yours." She looked up at him and eyes on his, began to focus her fingers on his hardening shaft. "Thank you for loving me, for claiming me." She lowered her head and added her lips and tongue to the delicious torture.

"Thank you for accepting me, for accepting my family, the pack." He clutched her hair a little tighter as she licked at his tip and continued mentally

"Thank you for finding me, for loving me Luna. The day you walked into the café was the best day of my life."

"The best day of my life was when you told me I had your heart and loved me. The day I gave you my heart and my body Thorn and you gave me everything I always wanted. A place to belong, a family, even in my dreams I never thought I'd be blessed with a love like this, but I dreamed of finding a place I would fit in, a family."

She took him deeper and increased from the teasing touches to focusing on his pleasure now.

"Luna, no." He pulled at her hair. Hoping to drag her up his body. "Luna."

"My know-it-all mate was right, I can't take him deep inside my body like I had hoped. Let me enjoy this. Let me pleasure him and taste him."

"Shit Luna, you and I can make love later. You..." She of course took it a little further right then and he lost his ability to speak

"Fuck, Luna, stop, I'm going to..."

He was gently trying to pull her away, but there wasn't much left in him now that wanted her to stop.

"Yes Thorn, give into it. Let me taste you. Let your mate start her day knowing she gave you this pleasure. Let the woman that loves you, will love you forever, take pleasure from giving you yours."

He now used his hands to help guide her as he thrust deeper into her. His release imminent.

As his roar filled her ears he filled her throat. She moaned around him as she took her full. His taste coating her mouth now as she felt the last of his seed pulsing onto her tongue.

"Guess it was breakfast in bed."

She smiled around him. She didn't expect the light tap on her backside.

"Your arms are too damn long, how the hell can you reach my butt in this position?"

"Because you my Little One are just perfect for me."

Her tongue danced along him now, cleaning the little she hadn't already swallowed. "Luna, you should have listened to me. We didn't need to, I mean, you didn't have to do that. We could have just spent the morning together made love later today, or tomorrow."

"Did I do it wrong? Did you not enjoy it?" She sat up now looking at him. "Because I enjoyed it very much. I didn't have to do anything, I wanted to. Part of me needed to, not because I felt it was expected, but because I really do love what we have, what I can do for you, and what you can do for me. I took you in my mouth because I love the little growls you make when I do. Because I love that every time we connect physically whether it be to fuck, to make love, or to just give each other pleasure I feel us grow even closer." She frowned at him. "Is it not the same for you? When we share more of our lives, are open with each other and learn more about each other, when we talk, or touch, taste each other. Everything we share draws us closer."

"Of course it's the same. I just don't like, fuck of course I like. I don't feel right when you give me so much, and all I am doing is taking."

"Such an alpha." Luna laughed snuggling into him. "Tell you what later today you can pleasure me for as long as you want and I'll just greedily take everything you give me."

"Luna, sweetheart, be careful because my fingers are tingling and want to tickle you, my palm itches to spank you, and my cock is already thinking about fucking you. So get dressed and get that sexy little body to safety."

"Yes Sir." Luna gave him a quick kiss and hopped off the bed. "I need a shower, it's a shame you don't have enough control over your hands and your cock to join me." She resisted the urge to run and walked with a definite hip swing to the bathroom.

"That is one punishment for you later Luna. I'll keep track today and you will keep track as I deliver all that you earn through the day tonight."

She turned long enough to stick out her tongue at him and as their eyes met he raised one hand, he lifted one finger, then added a second "Two already and you're not even dressed."

***

Thorn had started on an omelette for breakfast when he came into the kitchen already dressed in a pair of worn jeans and a small t-shirt. "We should collect the rest of your stuff from the flat today."

"I'm not moving in Thorn, not till after the wedding."

"What?" He couldn't believe what he was hearing. How did she think this was all going to go? They were mates, the pull to be together was growing by the minute. She was going to be ovulating in the very near future and they had a very important project, fuck multiple projects they needed to work together on. He also had a massive project he needed to keep her from finding out about. "Of course you're moving in."

"No. I'm not Thorn. We need to spend time together, we need to keep learning more about each other, but we also need time apart."

"I do not need or want any time apart from you." He heard the growl in his voice as his wolf woke inside him.

"Take it easy Thorn. I'm not running. I'm not trying to upset your wolf. Listen please?" She moved closer to him. Saw the wolf in his eyes recede a little. "This is not me being difficult I swear. Can you please listen?"

"I'll listen but I doubt anything you say will make what you are suggesting happen. I want you to move in today." He placed half the omelette onto each plate he had and carried them to the table. Already set with cutlery, fresh juice and a yellow rose. "Well sit down and we'll talk while you eat."

"You're grumpy already, and have made up your mind to ignore me, so I won't bother." She walked to the table and sat down. "This looks lovely. Thank you."

Thorn silently counted to twenty. Then took a deep breath and counted to twenty again. "I'm not grumpy." He realised how gruff his voice was and tried again. "Not grumpy, disappointed. I will listen Luna, I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have just blurted it out like that. I just didn't realise you would want me moving in so soon." She lifted a forkful of the light fluffy egg and enjoyed her first taste before continuing. "We are still right at the beginning of this. We have known each other at work, and a little as friends, but you don't know much about me. I don't know much about you. I don't want to fight with you or upset you. We will both need time to think about stuff as it comes up. There will be things you learn about me that you may not like, or that you cannot accept. There will be things I learn about you that may hurt or even scare me a little. We will both still love each other, we will still be together, we will still get married but while we discover these things about each other we will need to be careful not to hurt each other. To give each other time to get our heads around whatever we find out. We will need time apart to do this sometimes."

"Nothing else I will share would hurt or scare you. I have been honest with you now. You are my mate. You know me." He argued quietly.

"You didn't think reading my thoughts would hurt me. That hurt a lot. Hearing how many other lovers you had had. Knowing everyone in your family knew who I was and how you felt before I did. Those things all hurt a little." She reached for his hand. "Learning you are a wolf that scared me, it didn't scare me away but it is a big unknown to me. Hearing Gem talk about what happened to her, even without all the information scares me. I know hearing the rest will be horrible but I need to know it. I need to know it all or I am going in stupid and blind."

"You still have doubts. You still don't think we are meant to be." Thorn accused pulling his hand away. She stopped him with a glare as he was going to rise from the table. "Don't glare at me, you're the one looking for a reason to run. Looking for a reason to hate me."

"I will never hate you. Thorn you're not being reasonable. Men, wolves hurt Gemma, hurt my friend, a member of your family. I don't automatically assume all werewolves are bad. Just the same as I don't think all humans are bad because of what happened in my life. I need to know what happened and how to protect my pack from it happening again. I need to know if I might go rogue and hurt someone. I need to know if you've ever hurt anyone. Not to reject you, to understand. I need you to know I have hurt people. Need you to know I've done things I regret. Things others judge me for."

"You wouldn't ever go rogue. I'd protect you, be with you. I would never leave you. Rogues have lost their minds."

"What if something happened, what if you couldn't protect me? What if something in my head was already a bit off before I became a werewolf and it got worse?"

"No." Thorn slammed his hands on the table before he stood and walked away. "Stop talking." He paced back and forth a little his wolf close "I am your alpha, your mate. I would not be your mate if there was something wrong with you. As your alpha and your mate I would protect you, nothing could happen. You doubt me." His wolf lurched forward and he couldn't fight him taking over. He stalked towards her.

"You doubt my ability to care for you, to love and protect you?"

He watched her lower her head and eyes in submission "No my love, I worry I may be the problem. I worry I may make the pack weak. I worry how you will react when I tell you everything about myself. I worry how I will cope hearing everything you need to tell me. Lastly I worry I will fail you, fail the pack, because I cannot care for you and protect you, cannot care for and protect them. But I will never love any of you less, in fact I love you all more every day." She stroked his fur now he was closer and it calmed him slightly. "I don't want to see the look in your eyes when I tell you things about me that will make you wish you had another mate, a better mate. I don't want to see the love in your eyes fade and be replaced with..."

"Shhhh tell me the worst thing now and then it will be behind us. Then you can stop worrying. Then you can move in and be with me."

"I can't. Not while you're wolf." She whispered.

"Why not? My form doesn't change who I am, you know that."

"I need you to hold me. I need to see your face so I know you aren't hiding anything from me." He shook his head and backed away from her touch. "Thorn, I'm sorry, I just can't." Thorn, still in wolf form moved away. He left the room.

Thorn's wolf growled as he paced the bedroom. He could smell his mate here but he wanted to be with her. Thorn fought to get control, but his wolf wanted to change her, make her submit, so this nonsense would end. He wouldn't be letting her go. His wolf showed images of them together. Howled his pain at her refusing to be with them, and the hurt that she would not trust him.

"She trusts me, she doesn't trust herself."

His wolf argued back

"She doesn't trust the bond."

Thorn gained enough control to begin to return to human form "She will."

He quietly returned to the kitchen where he saw she sat at the table crying. He went to her in silence and lifted her into his arms carrying her into the living room. Only when he was settled on the couch her in his arms did he speak. "Luna, tell me the worst, I swear I am here for you. Will always be here for you."

Her eyes met his for only an instant before she quietly responded "I killed two men."

CHAPTER TWENTY

Thorn pulled her closer and stroked her hair. "Luna, tell me what happened, I know you are not a murderer."

"When I told you about when I left home I left off some of the details of the first house, and how bad it got at one of the last houses. The first house was in my own neighbourhood. I grew up riding his motocross bike and hanging out with him in the backyard. Then I moved in with them. He was my only friend and I killed him." She shook with her silent crying. Thorn continued to hold her and stroke her back. His wolf howled inside him to see her pain. The man in him just wanted to take it away.

"What happened to your friend Luna?" He asked gently.

"Harley, he knew things. He knew what my mum and her boyfriend were like. He would let me stay at his place all hours of the day and night so I didn't have to go home. Harley then found out that I could apply to leave mum and his parents could get paid to have me stay there. I don't know why he looked into how to make it work but he told me had it all worked out. They weren't the charitable sort. But getting paid, that got them onside. They weren't great parents to Harley, and certainly never took that role with me. Now and then they gave me a hard time about helping out more around the place, or how much it cost to have me there, but mostly they just left me alone. Well for that first year. Harley and I same as before I moved in, looked after ourselves."

"How old was Harley?"

"Only a couple of years older than me. We were never more than friends Thorn. He loved his dirt bikes and sci-fi books. He teased me about being a tomboy. I teased him about being called Harley." Luna turned into Thorn a little more and looked up at him. "The year I turned fifteen his dad started to pay more attention to me. My mum was getting paid for sex by then and he thought I could be interested in training for the 'family business.' He kindly continued to offer to be my teacher every time nobody else was around. Harley, that last night, he walked into my room hearing my screams and after pulling his dad off me, after his mother came in and started yelling at me, he just looked at me like he hated me." LJ shook her head as the memory of his face hit her so clearly all these years later. "He hated me. He decided I was just like my mother. In the confusion. The yelling and all. His mother dragging me into the yard and hitting me until the police arrived. Nobody noticed he had gone. He left on his bike that night. He was found the next morning. Crash investigators almost straight away ruled out an accident. The thought of what I was..."

"No." Thorn tipped Luna's chin up so her eyes met his. "No. You made that leap in your head baby. It is not true. There will be a different reason Luna. He knew you. He was your best friend and there is no way anybody that loved you, spent time with you, would believe that. He came in hearing your screams Luna. He knew what was happening. He was like me baby. He was a young alpha. He tried to protect you, care for you, considered you his family. From the day he started looking out for you, when he found a way for you to move in, right through to when he pulled his father off you. He never thought that of you. It was an accident. He was upset, angry, he took off, and lost control."

"Now you're making leaps and you didn't know either of us then." Luna shook her head. "It was my fault." She placed a finger over Thorn's mouth as he went to speak again. "I know I never actually killed him but I live knowing I caused it. The second incident, it leaves no room for doubt, I did kill. It was ruled self-defence, but I still killed him."

"It was the guy in the store room. The one that tried to rape you."

"Yeah. It wasn't really a store room it was in the work shop of a motorcycle shop." Luna moved away from Thorn now, and sat on the couch folding her legs up under herself. "I had to tell the police, everyone, so many times, repeating what happened. But every time I told the story back then, doesn't equal even one year of how often I've relived it. And there have been a lot of years since then. I don't regret killing him. I don't feel any guilt for killing him. But I wonder if there was a way to have avoided that day. Wonder what I missed that resulted in me being trapped like that. I thought I had learned how to protect myself. I'd fooled myself back then that I could keep myself safe. See the warnings. You know what it took me so long to work out? I second guessed myself. My gut told me the day was all wrong. We were never alone in the shop like that. I don't ignore my gut anymore Thorn. Things that felt a bit off about you and your family, they left me wondering what was going on, but I never worried about not being safe. Never wanted to run from you. Never thought I was in danger or that the people surrounding me were a risk. I never thought it was something bad."

"So what happened?"

"He already had me half naked when I got my chance. He moved slightly and gave me an opening. A new karate move got him off balance and he fell backwards. I watched him go down hoping he would fall hard, but he grabbed me pulling me with him. It slowed his momentum. I stepped to move away. The way he turned on the ground, still holding my foot, moved his body out of the corner a little. I remember this fear, I knew I was running out of time, knew it was my last chance, and I pulled a large tool chest over. I had tried moving that chest during my work there a number of times, and I'd barely managed to budge it. I don't remember when I thought to grab it at all. It didn't make sense that I would even try. I don't know if I hoped to pull my leg free using the chest as leverage, in hindsight I know that wouldn't have worked but at the time, I don't know why I ... I just haven't worked that out. They said it was the adrenalin, but I swear Thorn, I just pulled it over, and it went down on top of him. If the impact hadn't been to his head, he would have been hurt enough for me to escape, but he would have lived. The way it landed he was declared brain dead at the hospital."