When I lost my job and joined the army, I didn't think I'd ever see any real combat. With the Islamic State already bombed to hell and everything gone quiet in the Ukraine, I expected to be pushing papers around an office somewhere with an occasional visit to a firing range.
Well, I saw combat alright, but can you really call it combat when your side gets its ass resoundingly kicked? In our defence we were up against an army we hadn't been trained to fight: an army of monsters from another dimension. Not tentacled monstrosities (although there were a few kooky looking things like that among them) - real monsters, like in the storybooks: centaurs and harpies and fox people and wolf people and lizard people. Our war was against a bunch of fairytales, and like in the fairytales they had magic.
Oh yeah, and dragons. It turned out tanks and helicopter gunships were no match against dragons. Nothing's really a match for dragons.
Don't ask me for any details of this first battle against the Therians: you probably know more about it than I do, especially if you've ever watched more than five minutes of the History Channel. No, I didn't really see much combat since I ended up on the receiving end of the swing of a dragon's tail about five minutes into our initial engagement. I was knocked off my feet into the air and when I landed everything went black.
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Being dead didn't seem so bad. I was aching all over but I was also warm and everything was peaceful, except for a rather annoying beeping sound.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
I opened my eyes and realised I wasn't dead. I was in a hospital, lying in a bed with the sheets pulled up to my neck.
I grabbed the sheet and pulled it off. I wanted to check if I had everything. Apart from the bandage around my torso everything was where it should be. I made doubly sure my dick was still there.
A leg I could do without, damn, even a leg and an arm. But I was very attached to my dick.
I lay back. My ribs ached. So that explained the bandage. I lifted a hand to my head. Yeah, another bandage there, too. I must have landed on my head after taking that spill thanks to the dragon.
I lay there wondering what had happened to everyone else. There was a curtain around my bed so I couldn't see how full the ward was. From what I'd seen there had to be more casualties, though.
The curtain was swept aside while I was looking at it and a woman dressed in white walked in, her face buried in a clipboard. Ah, the doctor. She'd have some answers.
"How are you feeling?" she asked, not bothering to look up.
"Okay I guess," I said. "My ribs are aching like hell, though. Say, doc, how did the battle end up? We won, right?"
Soft laughter from the doctor. "I'm afraid not."
She looked up from her clipboard and I saw then that she wasn't human. Her skin was green, shimmering with the soft glistening of scales. Her eyes were large and turqoise, the pupils slitted like a reptile's. I scrambled back away from her and she smiled with a mouth full of needle-sharp teeth.
"Don't be alarmed," she said. "You're safe here. Your government has surrendered to us unconditionally so you're no longer an enemy."
I slumped back against the head of the bed. "We... we lost?"
She nodded. "Badly."
I relaxed, then. So the war was over. I'd survived. We'd lost, but I'd survived.
"So when are you sending me back home?" I asked.
The doctor chuckled. "Oh, you're not going home. The surrender was unconditional. As soon as you're well enough to work, you'll be found a job suited to your abilities."
"You're enslaving us?"
The lizard woman sighed. "'Enslavement' is such an unpleasant word. Think of it as more of a 'hostile takeover'. The Therian Empire has a labour shortage, so you'll be working for us, now."
"As a soldier?"
She gave my arm a squeeze and laughed. "Not likely with those puny muscles! Now get some rest and heal up quickly."
She turned and pulled the curtain closed with her long, scaly green tail.
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The hospital filled up with wounded soldiers quickly and I soon learned that what the scaly doctor had said was true: we'd lost the war only a short while after it had begun. Most of the guys, like me, were resigned to their fate, but some caused trouble. That only happened a few times, since an alarm would spread through the ward and orderlies would appear - oni, I learned later - and the troublemakers would be manhandled and swiftly sedated.
I wasn't in the ward for long. Their medicine was better than ours and there was some magic involved, too, although it seemed my wounds weren't serious enough to need magic beyond some cursory scans. The doctor gave me a clean bill of health and I was escorted out of the hospital.
My first view of the world outside as I was bundled onto their equivalent of a bus and driven away was a shock to the system. I was in a big city, with tall buildings all around, but unlike our blocky skyscrapers the buildings here in the Therian Capital were whimsical masses of minarets and spires. The streets were filled with monster people of every variety, the air, too, with flying monsters such as harpies and tiny fairies. Occasionally, a huge dragon would pass overhead.
I sat at the window gawking with my fellow passengers. But our awe and amazement at the sights was tempered by the anxiety of the fate awaiting us.
The bus arrived at a large building and we were escorted off. Although we felt like prisoners, we weren't shackled: I guess we had nowhere to go even if we did escape.
We were taken into a room and told to sit down in front of a huge screen. We watched a movie which told us all about the world we'd found ourselves in.
The guy beside me jogged me with an elbow. "Hey, buddy. You noticed how almost all the important jobs here are done by women?"
I had noticed. The officer who was in charge of us here was a woman as well, a wolf person - a lupine, I knew now. The movie told us all about the different species that inhabited this world. There were dozens of different therians, as they were called: minotaurs and vampires and medusas and slime-people and so on. I'm sure you'd probably meet all of the different species just by visiting a major city these days, but back then they were all new to us.
The doctor, who I now knew was of the dragonnewt species, hadn't been lying when she said that this world needed manpower. That, at least according to the movie, was their justification for conquering our world, although like the doctor the movie referred to it as a 'takeover'.
There was a lot of information to take in. After a break we were taken to a room and interviewed individually about ourselves, our skills and experience, and given personality tests. The whole process reminded me of a job interview. Some of the questions were pretty personal and bizarre.
We were then marched into a hall and divided into different groups. I was left standing with a bunch of guys who must have tested out as being similar to me.
I looked about me. Damn, this was humiliating.
"So what do you have for me?"
The voice was low but feminine, and I turned to see a female therian approach our group escorted by the dragonnewt in charge of us. Unlike some of the monsters I'd seen she wasn't all that different from a human. The first thing you noticed, though, were those two pointy ears poking up from the red-gold hair on her head and the light brown fur on her body. Her eyes were slanted, a deep gold, and she had a little snout which crinkled up as she looked us over. But by far her most unmistakeable and striking feature was her tail. It was long and tufted, ending in that thick brush that foxes have.
So this was a vulpine. I remembered from the video we'd watched that the fox people were called vulpines. She was clearly a civilian professional: dressed in a white blouse and a dark grey pencil skirt she was likely a business woman of some kind. I guess it makes sense that all humanoid creatures would end up wearing similar clothes. She was really quite shapely, with a nice pair of hips on her that balanced her not unsubstantial bust.
The vulpine looked us over in turn. When she came to me her lip curled and she turned to the dragonnewt beside her.
"Is this really all you've got?"
The dragonnewt glanced on her clipboard. "I'm afraid so. The human soldier-types are not really well-suited for domestic work, so there's only these until we start bringing in civilian prisoners."
The vulpine sighed. "Well, I guess this one will have to do." She grabbed me by the upper arm and I flinched, which elicited a chuckle from her.
"Ha! Don't worry, I'm not going to eat you or anything." She grinned at me, her gold eyes gleamed with mockery
"I know that," I said. But did I really know that? Her smiling mouth was filled with canine teeth. Maybe this whole job-interview thing had been a trick and we'd just been examined and weighed to see what dish we'd be best suited to be cooked into.
She took my chin in her hand and looked me over. "You humans really are funny looking. Like a diminutive oni without horns." She ran her finger through my hair ungently. "No, no horns."
"Humans don't have horns," I said.
"Humans don't have horns, mistress."
"Excuse me?"
She chuckled. "Don't play dumb. You're to refer to me as 'mistress' from now on. You understand, don't you?"