Closing my hand over the door handle I twisted, trying to make as little sound as possible. Nudging open the door I squeezed through the smallest crack I was convinced I would fit. The room was enshrouded in gloom, and I glanced towards the bed expecting to see Samuel still strewn across it; as it was the middle of the day he should have still been sound asleep. The bed was bare.
"Where the fuck have you been?" I twisted towards the low growl rumbling up from the darkest corner.
Hhmm, so much for stealth. Snapping on the one crappy light in the room I could, just barely, see Samuel rise from the floor. Dropping my bag, it gave a loud thud as it landed on the bare boards, dust rising from beneath it. Choking back a cough I glared at him.
"Out." Crossing my arms against his annoyed expression, I stood my ground as he bore down on me. I could feel a belligerent expression set hard on my face.
"What was so important that you would risk being killed for?" He was right in my face as he spoke, glaring down at me. I snorted, and a surprised expression flickered across his face.
"There's no danger," his surprised had turned to disbelief. "just listen. It's the middle of the day; all decent vampires," I gave him a pointed look, "should be sleeping. Speaking of which, why aren't you?"
His head was shaking side to side, a small smile playing at the corner of his mouth, before a thought occurred to him. "What makes you think, we don't have people doing our bidding during the day?
Anxiety gripped me; I hadn't thought of that. "Do they?" Somewhere, my mind still wouldn't accept that Samuel was the same as Lotane. In my mind there were two types of vampire; the evil vampire hoard, which included Lotane; and Samuel.
"Well, no," he admitted. "Most normal people run for the hills when they learn you're a vampire." Touché.
"Really?" I was surprised at this. "I thought, with your hypnotic powers, you would be able to get people to do what you want."
His face screwed up in confusion. "We can't hypnotise anyone, that's just the movies," he said, rolling his eyes.
It was my turn to be confused. "But, did you not...I thought you had...What about the other..." I snapped my mouth shut as his expression turned to one of horror.
"Helen, do you believe that I hypnotised you the other night?" There was a real concern behind his question.
"No. Well not completely. I just thought that... maybe you had a little b..." I trailed off as I saw the hurt in his eyes. "Didn't you?"
"No. God no. I can't, but besides that, I wouldn't. Why would you think that?"
I blushed as I thought back to that first night with him. How willing I was with someone I'd only just met. That wasn't me; I'd just assumed that he had. ..encouraged me a little. His low sexy growl, and sultry eyes; how his cool breath washed away any doubts as it flowed over me. His keen eyes peered at me as I put two and two together. "Oh my."
"What?" His voice was flat.
"I had such a strong reaction to you, I thought you must have had done something to me." I whispered almost to myself, but Samuel still heard me, and he went very still.
"I must have hypnotised you to sleep with me; because otherwise you never would have? I see," his face was a mask, clear of all expression. My blood ran cold.
"No, you don't understand." The look he gave stabbed at me. I forced my explanation on him. Yes, taunt the annoyed vampire until he get even more pissed at you.
"The way I responded to you Samuel, where just being with you, felt right. Your very breath was like a balm to me. When I learned what you are, I just added things together, and got the wrong answer. I'm sorry, what can I say; I was never very good a math."
Samuel prowled around me, flint eyes glinting. "If I wanted you I wouldn't need to hypnotise you," his fingers wound through my hair gripping tightly, twisting the strands in his clenched fist. Ignoring my cry, he turned me until my front was pinned against the wall. "I am strong enough that I don't have to," he whispered into my ear. His voice was low and cold, as he ran a nail over my grazed cheek; memories of Lotane froze me in place. Dread crept through me like a chill; my breathing became laboured with his weight pressing against me.
Samuels fingers raked lower until his nails dug into my ribs. My whimpers appeared not to move him; he leaned in nipping at my ear, moving lower to my neck.
"You enjoyed my touch. You screamed as I licked you, stroked you...bit you. I could have you screaming under me once more." His tone made it clear that no pleasure would be involved this time. By body started to tremble, and Samuel gave his own shudder at the scent of fear that must have been coursing from my pores.
His movements were quick as he shifted off me, and I slid to the floor. Twisting I saw Samuel pressed against the opposite walls, arms folded tight over his chest.
"But I didn't, and I wouldn't." His voice was full of sadness, but his eyes were accusing as they bored into me. I froze, waiting, afraid to move. Samuel closed his eyes, a pained expression on his face. He kept them closed as he waved a hand at me, "go on, and leave." My hand scraped about for the door handle, eyes glued to his face for warning of any movement. But there was none; he remained still until I was gone.
I ran. I knew it was stupid, it was still daylight and there was no danger of a vampire following me, but still I ran. My breath heaved and legs felt wobbly. Shoppers threw me angry looked as I shoved past them. When I could no longer run I walked, and when I stopped I had no idea where I was. Feet throbbing and lungs burning, all I had achieved was to get lost. Looking around there were only houses, except across the road there was a church. At a loss where else to go I headed for it.
Rattling the huge door I found it locked, frustration welled in me. What was I going to do? I had no money, no clothes, no car keys and no idea. The sun was lowering fast in the late afternoon sky; spotting a wooden bench in the church gardens I headed there, my weight flopped down on it.
Samuel had let me go, why? He could have used me and left me broken; he said he wouldn't, why should I believe him? Because he let me go. He had not lied to me, didn't pretend he was something he wasn't. He showed me what he was capable of, enough to frighten me, and then had let me go. Why? Was he toying with me; or was he letting me go, against his very nature?
What if it was the latter? My mind went over the conversation, the expressions on Samuels face. He had looked hurt when I had suggested I was compelled. I had hurt his feelings. Chagrin welled within me. Did he care for me; can a vampire care for anyone? Realization spread through me. He may have the greater strength, but I had caused him the bigger injury. Shame and regret coursed through me as I cupped my face in my hands. My eyes nipped and watered with the dust from the dry day. Weariness and remorse weakened me as the sun slipped lower. I did not have the will to move, and nowhere to go, I stayed on my bench, waiting.
I wakened on a hard surface, stiff with cold. Cool fingers caressed my hair and tension coiled as guilt gripped me once more. The fingers retreated.
"I'm sorry, I only brought you your things," Samuel whispered. Keys clinked as they were placed next to my head. Although I did no hear him moved, I felt his very real absence. Panic fluttered within me, and I forced my cold muscles to move as I felt them resist.
"Samuel?" My eyes were everywhere, searching, but he was nowhere.
"Please Samuel, I'm sorry. Don't leave," I begged. There was only silence. A sob broke from me as I realised, too late, what I had and lost.
I had wondered what the difference was between Samuel and Lotane. Now I knew. Samuel was full of goodness. Even being made into a vampire hadn't destroyed his soul, and that was what I saw each time his smile beamed at me. That side of him was so strong, that even his predatory vampire side couldn't beat it down. Thinking back the battles were now clear, but each time Samuel had won through, not the vampire.
"Helen." I turned at the low voice behind me, tripping over my own feet. Samuels strong hands caught my shoulders and steadied me, but he removed them the moment I was upright, pushing them deep into his pockets. I was sad for what I had done to him, sorry; I wanted to show him. I threw my arms around his neck, pulling myself against him.
