The Serpentine Bodyguard

After the unification of all nations on February 5th, 2015, the newly formed ADVENT coalition had the nearly insurmountable task of untangling 193 nations' infrastructure, fusing it with the Elder's superior technology, then merging it into a single system. ADVENT employed millions of engineers from every discipline, working tirelessly for years in a sort of "New New Deal," doing their part to connect humanity once and for all. Then, once the work was done, ADVENT needed people to maintain these systems, people familiar with them, and who better to do so than the very humans who'd helped design them? With this idea in mind, the California Computational Agency was formed, along with tens of thousands of other regional offices.

Now, the CCA was laid out fairly simply: the director was overseen by a member of the local ADVENT board (who the more paranoid believed was run by aliens), and in turn, oversaw several managers. One of these managers, Clark Hopper, managed the back-end development group, an assembly of coders and engineers who dealt with the nitty-gritty inner workings of the software ADVENT used. Usually, his orders came filtered through the director, so he was somewhat surprised when a company ID by the name of "Martin Cubrela" called him one afternoon.

Clark turned his attention from the twin monitors on his desk to look at his phone. He wasn't sure just who this Martin Cubrela was, but as soon as he swiped up to accept the video call, he recognized him as the CCA's ADVENT supervisor.

"Hey, Clark!" Martin said, "How's it going?" The man's neat black hair and turtleneck sweater gave him an air of a silicon valley entrepreneur, with his round frame sunglasses added a touch of poshness to the whole look. Clark could see a few greenish splotches peeking out from under his collar, but he knew enough to keep any dissident thoughts to himself.

"Uh, it's... going fine." Clark briefly glanced up at one of his screens, showing a list of mundane email chains he'd been going through. "What's the occasion, sir?"

The man on-screen broke into a brief chuckle. "Oh, you don't have to call me sir, Clark, Martin's just fine. To answer your question, though, I'm calling due to a recent development in the ADVENT coalition. You've heard about the recent string of terrorist attacks, right?"

As if on some cosmic cue, the news feed on Clark's other screen began a story on just such an attack, showing an edited clip of a raid on an ADVENT building. "Yes, I have."

"Well, the coalition is starting to worry about our people on the ground, and what could happen if they fell into the wrong hands. In light of this, they've decided to assign ADVENT officers to certain positions to guarantee their safety."

He knew the ADVENT administration was linked to the aliens, and frankly, Clark didn't mind trading a bit of freedom for a lot of security, but this seemed a step too far for them. "Sir, I'm completely loyal to the ADVENT coalition," he hurriedly said, letting his suspicions get the better of him. "I wouldn't even dream of siding with any sort of terrorist organization."

Martin's only reaction was a reassuring smile. "Oh, we know, we know... while you haven't been stress-tested as much as some, you've proven yourself an able and loyal employee. It's why we're deploying these officers in the first place, to keep our most trusted assets safe and sound."

"I see... are officers being assigned to the other managers as well?"

"Nope, just you."

Why was he getting such special treatment? Was it because he was deemed the most "loyal" of the lot? "What about the director, is he getting a bodyguard?"

"No, he'll make do with his current security team." Although his eyes were hidden behind his reflective sunglasses, it was easy to tell Martin was assessing Clark's reaction. "You see, you're in a rather unique position," he preemptively explained, "The other departments don't deal in highly sensitive information. If a terrorist is going to go after one of our engineers, it's going to be one with access to our programs' backdoors... someone with the keys to the kingdom, so to speak."

"And the director isn't important?"

"He's got something of a bird's eye view of things. He knows the basics of how everything works, but isn't nearly as... intimately involved."

So he was the weak link... he could understand that. To give decent support, he knew all the little entryways and loopholes in the code that could bring it all down with a few well-placed scripts. "When's this bodyguard going to be arriving?" he eventually asked, resigned to his fate of having a babysitter at work.

Martin momentarily glanced down at something off-screen. "Well, she should be arriving any second... she's got full clearance, and she can find your office easily enough."

"Wait, she?" Clark didn't think he'd ever seen a female ADVENT trooper before... but then again, it was hard to tell through that blocky armor.

"Yes, she's one of our most trusted operatives... I'm sure she'll be able to keep you safe without imposing too much."

Something about the term "most trusted operative" seemed a little off, but Clark couldn't put his finger on any definitive reason. "Alright... I'll let my people know she's coming."

"Eh, it might be a bit late for that," Martin said with a grin. "Anyway, I wish you the best, and I hope you get along with your personal protector. Goodbye!"

"Bye."

With that, Martin hung up the call, leaving Clark to ponder just what this development might entail. Having an ADVENT blockhead looking over his shoulder naturally made him a bit nervous, but he had nothing to hide... he just did his work at work and left anything slightly seditious back home. Clark let out a small sigh, then turned off his monitors and stood ups from his desk, hoping to avert any misgivings they might have about an ADVENT soldier showing up in their office.

However, once he opened the door leading to his compact office, he heard several panicked gasps and faltering conversations. That alone proved his bodyguard had arrived, but something about the tone seemed wrong... these weren't "oh shit, it's the cops" gasps, these were "holy fuck, a monster just walked into our office" gasps. Clark wasn't sure what to make of it until he looked toward the elevator, where instead of a blocky helmet peeking over the cubicles, he saw a reptilian head with a cobra's flared hood.

The thing had green scales marked with black and white stripes, partially "covered" by a headpiece that ran from its scalp down its spine. It seemed to stretch upward just a tad as its yellow, slit-pupil eyes scanned the room, then locked onto Clark's with a sense of determination. The reptilian head ducked down behind the cubicles, only to re-emerge around a corner as the rest of its body slithered down an aisle toward his office.

Now that it was out in the open, there was no doubt about it: his "bodyguard" was an alien... a viper, to be precise. He'd heard about them online, and had caught glimpses of them in some footage, but that didn't suppress the shock he felt as the diamond-backed snake creature slithered toward him. In one of its hands was a full-on plasma rifle, a graceful looking weapon with a glowing green power cell. It wore body armor and bracers similar in color to a trooper's, but much more streamlined and form-fitting, even going so far as to have bulges for what may or may not be breasts. Clipped to its chest plate was a surprisingly mundane ID badge, and as the viper slithered up to Clark, it plucked off said badge and held it up. "Lieutenant Hssara," it said in moderately accented English, "ADVENT Civil Security. You're Clark Hopper, I presume?"

As Clark peered at the badge, he realized that the red text on the black background confirmed her identity... there was even a little mugshot of her snake-like features above the ADVENT logo. "Yeah... that's me," he hesitantly replied, "Are you..."

"Your personal security detail? Yep." Hssara stuck out one scaly hand, each of her four fingers tipped with black, claw-like nails. "Pleased to meet you."

Somehow, her casual tone of voice and human air of interest put Clark even more on edge, but he still shook her hand. "You too..." Peeking past her allowed him to see curious heads poking out from around the cubicles, whispering about the alien arrival in conspiratory tones. "Hey, uh... do you mind if I talk with my team for a bit?" he asked the viper.

"Oh, not at all," she replied, backing towards his office door. "I'll try to stay out of the way." He could've sworn she'd winked at him, but he wasn't sure an alien even knew a wink's significance.

Clark could already tell his team was beginning to wonder, and seeing how Hssara hadn't done much to introduce herself, he decided it would be best to clear the air. "Hey, everyone? Could I have your attention for a moment?" After a moment, a legion of heads peeked up from their cubicles, and a few expressions grew shocked at the sight of the viper standing behind their boss. "As most of you've noticed, we have a new arrival in the office... this is Lieutenant Hssara." The viper gave a small wave, easing no one's anxiety. "She's just here as extra security, not to spy on anyone or conduct arrests. I'm sure you've all heard about the recent terror attacks across the west coast... Hssara's just here to keep us safe if that ever happens to us." He took a brief glance toward the viper, then added, "If at any point you feel uncomfortable with having her around, come talk to me, I'm sure we can work something out. That's all."

After the conclusion of his address, his team gradually began getting back to work, although he could still hear a few of them whispering behind their cubicle walls. Clark knew none of them had ever seen an alien in person, and he also knew how many conspiracy theories and horror stories were floating around on the internet. There were tales of gestapo-style arrests, horrid genetic experiments, and even people being eaten alive, though no one ever provided any concrete proof. In the interest of removing the distraction, he retreated back into his office, had Hssara follow him in, then closed the door.

While her ward sat back at his desk, the viper quickly moved one of two cushy armchairs over into the corner, then "sat" in it, resting her rifle on the armrests. Clark tried not to pay attention to her as he got back to work, but he couldn't help but notice her gazing intently at him. For an alien, she seemed strangely human, and the way she lounged in the office chair made him wonder just how much of a soldier she was. The creature was almost the polar opposite of the stiff-backed ADVENT grunts, just casually scanning the room like a bored mall cop... and now that the initial shock had worn off, she almost seemed friendly.

However, his pondering was brought to a halt by a new message on his team's chat program: "Why'd advent send a snake for the boss? Why not just have more blockheads stationed inside?"

"Cuz shes a spy," came a hasty reply, "They want one of theirs to keep tabs."

"Yeah probably on Jeff."

"Bet you wish you didn't read all those conspiracy theories now, huh?"

Jeff was quick to retort. "hey, i gte my information from multiple venerated sources. i'm not saying unification was pure eliv, but it vwasn't all flowers and sunshine neither. plus, i've seen proof that those snakes eat pheople; they dto'n do it all the time, cause thsat'd makje ra fuss, buvt they puck hobos off the street as a delicacy."

"Wut? Is that even english?"

"She wouldn't want to eat ur nasty ass anyway, Jeff. Nothing to worry about."

Clark was about to tell them all to quit screwing around, but a giggle from right behind him nearly made him jump out of his chair. When he turned around, he found Hssara peering at his screen, obviously amused by the conversation.

"I, ah... I'm sorry for my team's, uh... unprofessionalism," the human hastily said in apology, typing out a message of his own: "She's got access to all our chats."

"Oh, it's fine," she replied with a grin, "Everyone thinks I'm a monster... but I do appreciate the apology."

"You're, ah, welcome." Now that the chat was as silent as a graveyard, he tried to get back to work, but he couldn't help but think about what she'd said. True, she definitely looked like one, what with her scales and fangs and eyes... but there wasn't much monstrous behind all that. In fact, even her exterior wasn't that bad... but he should get back to work. Clark quickly swiveled back around to face his monitors and began reviewing some of the code his team had submitted, allowing Hssara to slither back to her comfy chair.

The human managed to get a decent amount of work done over the next forty minutes, but later on, he couldn't help noticing that Hssara had crept back up behind him. It seemed the viper was more than a little interested in what he was working on, all the cryptic lines of code he looked over, all the tiny messages and notes that played into their network of methods and algorithms... he even thought he could feel her hand gripping the back of his swiveling chair, supporting her weight as she leaned in. "So... what's all this code for, anyway?" she eventually asked, genuine curiosity shining in her voice.

"It's a new database for the gene clinics opening in the area," Clark explained, "It'll let ADVENT track patients, employees, supplies... and anything else they might need. It's a pretty flexible object-oriented framework with intuitive methods to add and track new resources." He could've gone into a whole lot more mumbo-jumbo about how they were integrating alien systems while piggybacking off an older hospital management program, but he got the feeling Hssara didn't have the tech knowledge to really understand.

"Huh... and you manage it all?"

"Well, not all of it, per se... I just head the back-end dev team."

Out of the corner of his eye, Clark could see Hssara turn to look at him, a small grin gracing her reptilian lips. "But you're the most important branch, aren't you?"

"Ah... yeah, I suppose. Everyone else's stuff is built off our systems, and, ah... we're the ones who have to deal with alien tech." Something about her questions stirred something in the human's mind, and he decided to ask something he'd had in the back of his mind for a while. "Why does someone like me get an alien guard?" He spun around to face her, trying to gauge the emotions on her alien features.

The viper shrugged. "I don't know the exact reason, but it's probably because of the terrorist stuff going on. They figure that you humans are pretty used to the sight of ADVENT troops, so they want to add an element of surprise for whoever goes after their more prized personnel."

"So you think it's just for shock value?"

"Pretty much, I mean, just look how the rest of your office reacted to me. If a bunch of anarchists burst in here with slugthrowers, they'd think twice once they saw a giant snake monster rushing at them."

The amused grin on his bodyguard's face made it clear she didn't mind, but Clark couldn't help but blurt out his subliminal thoughts on the matter: "You don't seem like a monster."

Hssara seemed just a tad surprised, both by the human's care and his subsequent embarrassment, but her expression quickly melted into one of warm gratitude. "Thanks," she replied, "You're not too bad yourself..." Not wanting to flummox the human any further, she headed back over to her chair, settling into the cushy furniture while eyeing Clark. He certainly seemed more tolerant than other humans she'd met... and maybe with a little push, he could be a lot more than that.

In the few hours left in the day, Clark tried not to say anything else sappy, instead choosing to zero in on his work. Every so often, he'd need to get up for something, or someone would enter his office to ask a question, and Hssara didn't do anything to interfere... but once the human got up to get himself some coffee, the viper left her chair and followed him. She shadowed him from his office to the break room, earning a few more odd glances from his coworkers, and once he began the ritual of setting up the coffee pot, Clark could feel her watching intently.

He quickly got it configured, and as the pot began to fill, Clark turned to face his bodyguard. "Are you supposed to follow me everywhere?" he asked, leaning up against the counter.

"Yep... my higher-ups didn't want anyone catching you unguarded."

"Then why haven't you got your rifle with you?"

A momentary expression of surprise flashed on Hssara's face, almost as if she'd completely forgotten about it, but she was quick to think up a rebuttal. "It's not much use in close quarters like these, and I'm plenty deadly without it." As if to demonstrate, she suddenly opened her mouth wide and shot out her tongue with deadly accuracy, snagging a coffee cup and tossing it back into her hand. While her mouth was open, Clark got a good look at her needle-sharp fangs before they folded back into the top of her mouth as it closed; the three-inch things sent a tiny shiver down his spine, and the human guessed they could inject all kinds of deadly venom.

Despite this, he couldn't help but say something witty: "You really plan on bringing teeth to a gunfight?" Even though Hssara was a completely different species, probably sent here to kill anyone who dared to attack him, he couldn't help but think of her as another coworker. He wasn't a xeno suck-up, there was no doubt about that... but the viper hardly acted like his tyrannical overlord. She quickly mirrored his grin, taking the jab in stride and readying something of her own.

"Oh, my odds are better than you'd think," she purred, "You see, we vipers are ambush predators, and there are all sorts of places to hide in an office like this." Inch by inch, she was gradually slipping closer, and Clark could swear her tone was going beyond mere playfulness. "You can't shoot what you can't see, and by the time you see us coming-"

Suddenly, Hssara's tongue shot out, wrapped around Clark's waist, and yanked him forward, knocking the human off balance. Then, the viper shot forward like a bolt of lightning, and before her prey could even react, she'd coiled tight around his body. "-We've already got you." His arms were firmly pinned to his sides, his torso gently squeezed by her muscular tail, and in that moment of utter vulnerability, Clark felt both terrified and exhilarated. However, when he looked up into Hssara's gleaming yellow eyes, he realized there was nothing to be afraid of... she was just teasing around, and now that the adrenaline-fueled terror has begun to wear off, Clark realized it was somewhat cozy being all wrapped up in her body. He could feel her muscles gently moving with each breath she took, and now that they were right up against him, he could feel how soft her scales really were...

As the seconds dragged on, however, coziness gradually melted into a sense of almost intimacy... despite her alien appearance, Clark could feel something kindling in his chest, and it didn't take long to realize Hssara felt it tenfold. Despite this, his gaze couldn't help but drift down her body, passing over her modest chest before stumbling on something astounding. A little ways below where her armor ended, right where a human's hips would be, he could make out a small vertical slit parting her scales. Before, it'd been nearly invisible, but now that he was up close, he could see that the scales around it were ever so slightly engorged... was it really her-

"Hey, my eyes are up here." Clark was torn from his thoughts as a scaly, clawed finger gently pushed his chin upward, turning his head to look Hssara in the eye. He swore he could see unadulterated lust in her gaze, backed up by the way her coils tenderly squeezed around him... but before either of them could do anything untoward, the viper heard footsteps coming toward the door. As suddenly as she'd embraced him, Hssara uncoiled her body and slithered back toward the coffee machine, leaving Clark standing around with a mild hard-on as someone entered the breakroom.