The Serpentine Bodyguard

When a viper had suddenly arrived at the California Computational Agency's back-end division as a bodyguard to its manager, it sent out ripples that reverberated through the whole agency. Who was this Clark Hopper, people asked, and why does he get an alien bodyguard? Was the viper there to keep tabs on them? Was ADVENT choking up on their leash? Was Clark some kind of alien sleeper agent? Was he the first of many to get replaced by an alien imposter?

Of course, as a whole three weeks went by without anything else happening, those ripples gradually died down, and the back-end division grew used to having Hssara as just another co-worker. The only person who still harbored conspiracy theories about her was Jeff, but that put her on par with six or seven other people in the office. Despite her monstrous appearance, she was kind and unobtrusive... except when it came to her human ward.

Over the past few days, ripples and rumors of a different sort had begun to spread through the office, passed over private texts and water-cooler conversations. It was hard not to notice the moony looks Clark and Hssara gave each other on a regular basis, or how the viper sometimes coiled around him when they thought no one was looking; Liam even claimed he'd heard a combination of ravenous sucking and stifled moaning as he was walking by Clark's office door, but no one had the gumption to interrupt whatever it was he was doing with his bodyguard. Everyone had their own theories, and for the most part, they were utterly correct: Clark and Hssara were thoroughly in love.

On one particular Friday afternoon, Clark was busy proofing the latest rollout of the gene clinic patient database, scrolling through code and annotations to ensure everything was spick and span. They'd managed to finish it a full four days ahead of schedule due to some inspired work from the team, and the program had practically put itself together once they made the pieces. All Clark had to do was sign off on it, but he felt obligated to at least give it a once-over before passing it up the chain.

However, obligation wasn't doing much to motivate him, and Hssara could tell his attention was beginning to wane. She slowly slithered up behind his swivel chair to get a second set of eyes on the code, set her scaly yet manicured hands on his shoulders, and began gently kneading Clark's tense shoulders. "How goes the coding?" she asked, knowing her lover was already thinking forward to what they had planned for later that night.

Clark couldn't help but relax under Hssara's skilled massage, and he leaned forward slightly to let her get at his shoulder blades better. "Oh, it's looking great," he sighed, "Kelly and Jay worked some real miracles with recursion, Paul managed to cut down the executable size by a few gigabytes, Rick only stole half his code from Github, and they all managed to work write-only memory into the mix." By the end, sarcasm was dripping off his voice, and Hssara couldn't help but see his devious smile reflected in his monitors.

"Is that just a bunch of techno-babble to make you seem busy?" she snarked.

"Pretty much. The only errors I've found are some nitpicky formatting stuff that ADVENT doesn't give a damn about, but just in case someone screwed something up..."

"Sounds like you could use a break," Hssara purred, "Wouldn't want anything slipping by you, would we?" Her thumbs began firmly working on her human's shoulders, subtly incentivizing him to lean over.

"Yeah... I could use a break." After pushing his keyboard and mouse forward, Clark leaned further over the desk, giving his lover full access to his back. She didn't hesitate to begin really working out his knots, and since she'd ground her claws down quite a bit, Clark didn't have to worry about tearing his shirt again. He let out a long, contented groan, but his mind couldn't help but return to the romantic evening ahead in the middle of his semi-painful pleasure. "Is ADVENT still letting us use the 'company card' for all this?"

"Mmhmm... I mean, all they have to do is cancel a prime-time ad or two." As Clark had found out when he and Hssara went to buy groceries, the viper had a sleek black debit card that tapped directly into a pool of ADVENT petty cash. The initial idea was for her to cover her own living expenses, but over the past month, they'd been testing how far they could push it.

Eventually, Hssara decided to directly contact her superiors, and after a swift conversation in the alien's language, she realized that the pool was effectively a near-bottomless coffer. Hssara still checked in to clear any purchases, but from what her superiors had told her yesterday, expenses between her and her human lover would get swept under the ubiquitous umbrella of propaganda. When you're a global, near-omnipotent government organization with fingers in almost every technological corporation, you can splurge a couple hundred dollars here and there.

"Perfect... bureaucracy at its finest."

"Did you double check the reservations?"

"Yep, did it this-" Clark let out a sudden gasp as Hssara hit a particularly troublesome knot, but as she worked out the tension, the gasp turned into a quiet moan. "Just did it this morning." Candlelit table for two at Il Macellaio Migliore at 6 pm, rated the state's third-best Italian restaurant. It had great food, good ambiance, and, most importantly, staff who were willing to accommodate an alien with a little government incentive. At first, Hssara had been a tad hesitant to go out on such a public excursion, but if anyone started complaining, ADVENT could just start chucking hush-money like they always did.

"Kolhossa..." A month ago, Hssara's only experience with candlelit dinners was a scene from a movie shown during "cultural assimilation night" back in Nevada... she never would've guessed she'd actually be going out with the guy of her dreams.

The viper continued her tender kneading for a few minutes until Clark had practically melted onto his desk, after which the human sat up and spun around to face her. "You want me to do you?" he asked, intending to give her sensitive hood plenty of attention.

"Actually, I think you're still a bit tense... just stay right there." Her voice dripped with eager playfulness, and her grin was devilishly wide, so Clark knew exactly what she wanted before she began slithering around his chair. After making a few rounds, she slunk her torso under the desk and pulled the chair forward, making it look like her human was hard at work to anyone coming in from the door.

Clark knew from experience just what she was about to do, but even though his dick was already hardening, decency compelled him to say something. "Don't you want to lock the door?" he asked, already knowing the answer before he finished asking.

"Eh, they don't seem to have much to bug you about," the viper replied, hands already reaching for Clark's zipper. "And even if someone barges in here pointing fingers... they can sue me, as you humans say." With that, she deftly unbuckled his belt, popped his waist button, unzipped his fly, and began inching his slacks down his legs. Once she'd gotten them a little way down, she followed up with his boxers and slid both garments down to his ankles.

Meanwhile, Clark pulled his keyboard and mouse back toward him, mainly so that there was the slightest chance he could be mistaken as working. His eyes began tracing over the code once again, but before he could get two lines in, he felt the intoxicating touch of Hssara's tongue wrapping around his bare dick. She had him trained to where the slightest squeeze from her prehensile licker got him as hard as a rock, and once blood finished pumping it up to full size, the viper didn't hesitate to pull her talented mouth down on top of it. In an instant, Clark's manhood was enveloped in cozy, wet, pulsating goodness, and he couldn't help but let out a groan as his tip slid down her throat. "Ooooh, fuck," he sighed, his left hand reaching down to tenderly stroke her hood.

Hssara's only reply was to start bobbing up and down, doing double duty with her suckling lips and constricting tongue. She could almost smell her human lover's arousal, especially when she took him to the hilt, and even though he bit his lip to stifle his moans, she could still hear the pleasure reverberating through his voice. Thanks to her convenient lack of crotch armor, Hssara reached down and began fingering herself to her bobbing rhythm, getting her already-aroused slit soaked with feminine fluids.

Any chance Clark had of appearing nonchalant vanished as he leaned back in his chair, fully succumbing to the viper's suckling pleasure. On top of her tongue still holding his shaft inside his mouth, he could feel her throat swallowing and convulsing just the way he liked, and her soft, scaly lips stayed sealed around his cock. Her free hand began fondling his balls as well, almost begging him to finish in her mouth, and Clark could tell his body was moments away from obliging. The human tried to think up something witty to say, something to encourage his lover or make her blush, but all his pleasure-addled brain could muster was a primordial moan. "Mrrrrraaaaaagh..."

Clark had absolutely no intention of resisting, and he was perfectly fine with Hssara sucking out his load under his desk, but all that changed when he heard footsteps just outside the door. As the knob began to turn, he frantically sat up and put his hands on his keyboard, and as the visitor stepped through, Clark tried to ignore the fact that Hssara still had his manhood halfway down her gullet. "Huh-hi there, can I help you?"

Right as the words left his mouth, Clark realized how unnatural they sounded, especially since he said them before he even saw who it was. The visitor turned out to be Liam, the same guy who'd been making assumptions earlier, but he didn't seem to notice anything was wrong until he was already through the door. "Hey, Clark, I was wondering if you knew where we kept the documentation for the client class."

Clark's eyes flicked down just long enough to confirm that Hssara was still stuck to his gonads, and as he tried to focus on Liam, she began slowly sucking once again. "I, ah... aren't they in the drive?" he replied, inadvertently making things worse by battening down his expression.

"Well, yeah, but they aren't in the folder with the rest of the client data..." It was hard to tell with worry and embarrassment racing through his mind, but Clark thought he could see suspicion building in his subordinate.

"I think... I think Kelly moved it to the, uh... other folder," the manager sighed, "The, um... one with the class code..."

"Right..." Shit, he suspected something, and Clark's paling expression wasn't helping matters. "Are.. are you okay?" Liam asked with a furrowed brow, seeming to quickly scan the room for clues. "Where's Hssara?"

"She's, ah..." Sucking me off under the desk? Gradually inching me toward a climax with slow, deliberate mouthwork? Probably enjoying my discomfort and the fact that neither of us could stop her? "She's... getting coffee."

Judging by the way Liam had entered, he'd come around the side near the break room, but before he could bring anything up, the programmer's eyes suddenly fixated on something on the floor right beside Clark's desk. His boss swiftly followed his gaze, and Clark realized that the very tip of Hssara's tail was sticking out from under the desk, slowly wiggling back and forth as she kept swallowing her lover's meat. When Clark met Liam's gaze, he realized in an instant his subordinate knew what was going on, but instead of offering a flimsy explanation, he simply raised one finger to his lips in the universal "say nothing" gesture. In the moment of silence that followed, they could both hear the shlick shlick shlick of Hssara hastily getting herself off, but Liam had enough sense to excuse himself. "Right, I'll check there and ask Kelly," he said, "Thanks..."

With that, he swiftly left the office and closed the door behind him, leaving Clark to slouch over the desk as Hssara's previous pace resumed. All thoughts of scolding her were driven out by the blissful pleasure of her throat and lips, eventually causing him to double over further as he blew his load. The viper easily swallowed spurt after spurt of the white sticky stuff, but halfway through, Clark could feel her begin to shiver from her own small orgasm. "Mmmmph," she mumbled, still sucking down the last dregs of cum while her snatch pulsed and squeezed around her fingers. Both she and her lover relaxed backward as pulsing pleasure faded into post-coital contentment, but it didn't take long for Clark to work up the nerve to speak.

"Hssara, that was..." It was both terrifying and exhilarating to have his subordinate watching, and the viper knew just what buttons to press to get him cumming like a fire hose. "...it was reckless, doing that out in the open."

As Hssara slid up to look him in the eye, pushing his chair back as she emerged from between his legs, she couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. "Reckless? That implies something could've gone wrong."

Clark couldn't help but let a bit of indignant annoyance slip into his voice. "Liam walked in on us, how is that not something going wrong?"

"What's he going to do now that he knows about us? Is he gonna get jealous? Tell the whole office? Maybe write up a lawsuit? Last time I checked, two consenting adults don't constitute a sexual harassment lawsuit, and even if we did-"

ADVENT would just sweep it under the rug, cover it up, or do something else to keep its VIPs out of harm's way. "Alright, so he won't do anything against us, but that's still unprofessional."

Hssara raised herself up a bit further, putting her hands on her hips while her lips curled into a pouty frown. "Unprofessional? You're the one who put the 'Out of Service' sign on the bathroom two weeks ago so we could screw there, and the whole coffee cup fiasco was your idea too."

Clark raised one finger to make a counterpoint, then realized she was pretty much right. "Touché. But still, I think we could do more to keep it in our pants on the job... if we keep rutting like animals, god knows what the team will start doing to each other."

The viper's lips relaxed into a smile, and she lowered herself down to give Clark a kiss on the lips. "Alright, boss, if you think that's best... do you still want me to clean you up?"

"Sure," her human lover sighed, leaning further back to expose his thinly glazed tip. It took all of ten seconds for Hssara to squeeze out the last leaky drops of cum, and after wiping his manhood clean with one hand, she let him pull his pants and underwear back on. Meanwhile, she used the same hand to wipe away her own excess fluids, then dried it on a particular spot of carpet; the synthetic fibers were already stiff, and as she pulled her fingers back, she could smell the aged aroma of their past lovemaking sessions. Clark got back to work reviewing his team's code while Hssara pretended to take a nap with her hands tastefully covering her still-engorged groin, both of them pondering both each other and the events to come.

The rest of the day went by relatively uneventfully, with Hssara keeping Clark company while the human continued checking code. By the time people began filing out of the office, he'd made it halfway through the full load, and Clark would've stayed later if not for two reasons: he and Hssara had somewhere to be by six, and he knew from experience the viper could get quite frisky when no one else was around. Clark left his office, said his goodbyes to those still lingering about their desks, then headed down to the parking lot with his bodyguard in tow, already pondering what the restaurant would be like.

The two of them quickly got into Hssara's black van, the only vehicle really capable of carrying both a human and a viper. Hssara got in the spacious back while Clark sat up in the driver's seat, and the van's no-divider design let them chat without issue. Even though there was a steering wheel, the vehicle was fully autonomous, and all Clark had to do was speak the destination he wanted: "Autopilot, take us home."

"Destination confirmed," came the robotic reply, "ETA: 28 minutes."

With that, the van clicked itself into reverse, gracefully pulled out of its parking spot, then began the trip back to their apartment. Once they were on their way, Clark swiveled his seat around to face his serpentine companion. "So," he asked, "Are you nervous at all?"

"Nervous?" Hssara couldn't help but smirk as she thought up a rebuttal, something along the lines of "how could a giant snake monster be nervous of a candlelit dinner," but she ultimately decided it would be better to speak from her heart. "Yeah, a little," she replied, "I mean, I know the staff seemed pretty tolerant, but that doesn't mean the other diners won't freak out."

Clark let out a small chuckle. "Trust me, the last thing these people will do is freak out. It's all about ambience and atmosphere, and as long as the staff act cool, they won't do so much as raise their voices."

"I take it you've been on a bunch of fancy dates like this?" Hssara replied with one eyebrow raised.

"Just one, but the atmosphere isn't something you forget. It can be cozy and quiet, like no one else is in the restaurant with you, but... sometimes it feels like you're under duress to stay quiet."

"Under duress?" Hssara couldn't help but imagine a candlelit room ringed by well-dressed and heavily armed guards, all of whom were instructed to take out any disruptions with silenced rifles. She knew it wasn't remotely true, but the absurd thought was still fairly amusing.

"Actually, I take that back; the only thing forcing you is the sheer atmosphere of the place. It's like... remember that one experiment we saw on the science channel a few days ago, the one about center of mass?"

"The one where they balanced a ball and two shovels on two wine glasses?"

"Yeah, that one. It's like some sort of equilibrium... no one ever does something odd because of the expectations of everyone else." Clark thought he could see a bit of confusion on Hssara's brow, and he quickly realized he was beginning to nerd out. "I suppose it's more of a human thing..."

His lover, however, was far less dissuaded by his philosophical tangents. "Actually, I know what you mean, and the Elders actually have a term for it: Futyf Vurumso, if I remember correctly. I think the literal translation would be 'high balance,' but I'm guessing humans call it something else."

"I think it's called the social contract," Clark replied.

"Hmm." The two of them sat in silence for a moment before Hssara thought up something witty to say, which she telegraphed with a scaly grin. "So I was breaking the social contract when I sucked you off in front of Liam?"

"Exactly."

"And you were breaking the social contract when you jizzed in my coffee, right?"

At the mention of the coffee cup fiasco, Clark both gritted his teeth and stifled a laugh. In the eight days since its inception, it had gone from lewdly funny to slightly embarrassing to ridiculously hilarious. "Yes... that was a breach in the contract, and a rather hairbrained move, I'll admit."

Hssara couldn't help but break into a malevolent smirk. "Oh, you're still mad that I got you to drink your own cum?"

Clark couldn't help but think back to when it had actually happened, to the absurd dilemma Hssara had forced upon him. After the first cup spiked with his seed, Hssara had made sure to always get an identical cup to his, and when he tried it again, she revealed her trap with an evil grin. At first, Clark thought she'd switched the cups, but something about her fiendish expression made him doubt it. "You switched the mugs when I wasn't looking," he accused, "Didn't you?"