The Knobgoblin

I already know that by the time I finish telling this story you're going to think I'm either crazy or a liar. Frankly, I don't care what you think or believe. Here's what happened...

Last Halloween I got invited to a party by a couple of guys that I know casually from work. I figured what the hell, I'll go have a few beers, check out some of the female talent and maybe get one in the sack for my troubles. I've found that girls seems to loosen up on Halloween since they get the chance to dress up in the most boner-inducing outfits they can think of. I figure they like it because they get to let their inner slut out to play in a socially acceptable manner. Besides if you get some barely dressed chick loosened up with a couple of drinks then getting her the rest of the way out of that outfit shouldn't be too hard, right? Hell, for any guy whose halfway on the ball Halloween should be the easiest night of the year for getting laid.

So, I pick up a Zorro costume complete with mask and cape from the local rental shop and go to this party. Well, I'll be damned if the place isn't packed with slutty nurses, slutty nuns, slutty schoolgirls, and just plain slutty sluts. Yep, it looked like Ol' Zorro's sword was going to leave its mark on at least a couple of young damsels. But for some bizarre reason it just wasn't my night. No matter how much I cranked up the old charm, the girls just weren't biting. I figured that going as Zorro would be great, you know, swashbuckling hero and all that but despite my best efforts it seemed that my sword was destined to stay in its scabbard.

After a few hours I realized I was just spinning my wheels and getting nowhere so I decided to pack it in and head home. I live only about a mile away from where the party was so I decided to leave the car at home and just walked over. Part of the trek home led through a small patch of woods that managed to survive the development of the apartment complexes and there was a little path that cut through. I was in the middle of walking through those woods when I felt the need to get rid of some of the beer that I had been guzzling during the course of the evening. So I stepped off to the side of the path and since nobody was around I just unzipped and let 'er rip. I must have had more to drink than I thought because it felt like I was pissing for about an hour by the time I got down to the last drip drip drip. I shook off and was about to put the ol' johnson away when I hear, "That's awfully impressive."

I must have jumped about three feet straight up because I landed on my butt with my feet splayed out in front of me and my dick still hanging out of my pants. That was when I saw her...it...whatever. About four feet tall and ugly with a capital ugh. If you thought your ugly cousin was hit with the ugly stick then this critter's face was beat down with the whole damn fugly forest. Stringy dark hair, eyes two different sizes and pointing in two different directions, a nose that would probably look better if it were broken a time or two, and a pair of big flappy lips that looked like someone stuck a couple of jellyfish on either side of its mouth. OK, normally that vision of ugliness would have set me running like a track star but that was only from the neck up. From the neck down was one of the most perfect naked female forms I have ever laid my eyes on. Even if she was only four feet tall she was stunning in every way. Breasts that were big but not too big without a hint of sag, nipples that looked like they should have had "please fondle me" printed on them, perfect ass, legs that were shapely and toned, and a pussy that was so enticing that your tongue would start twitching at the thought of licking that clit. I mean, if I had to sculpt my ideal woman from the neck down and then shrink her to four feet tall then this would be it. However...that face. The term butterface was coined with this critter in mind. Her body was absolutely perfect in every way but her face could stop a truck.

It took me a minute of spluttering before I finally got out, "Jeezus, you scared the crap out of me. Who the hell are you?"

Either she didn't hear me or didn't care because she just continued to stare at my dick still hanging out of my pants and said again, "That's awfully impressive."

Well, I might be a little larger than average but I never had a woman call me impressive. Things were getting a little strange for me so I stood up and proceeded to put myself away when she cried out, "NO, don't hide it. Please, I just want to look."

OK, the weird-o-meter doesn't go up to eleven but it certainly should have for this occasion. So what was I going to do? I left my willy hanging in the breeze and this chick is looking at it like its the Mona Lisa or some other great work of art and I can see her nipples getting hard and her fingers are starting to get a little twitchy. She licked those big flappy lips with a long tongue like a woman does when she's staring at a big bucket of chocolate ice cream. Then she looked up at me and simply asks, "Can I touch it?"

"What the fuck do you mean, can you touch it? Who the hell are you?"

Her eyes started to fill up with tears and she put her head down. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you. My name is Licki and I'm a Knobgoblin."

Seeing her start to cry made me feel like a bit of an asshole so I backed off a little. "Ummm...yeah. You mean a hobgoblin, right?

Looking annoyed she snapped, "No. A hobgoblin lives around your fireplace and eats the built up stuff in your chimney and generally is a pain in the ass." Then she looked up with pride and said, "I am a Knobgoblin. I'm much better than those little twerps. Men especially like me better than hobgoblins because I give pleasure in order to get my nourishment." Then she looked longingly at my still exposed dick. "You see, I gobble knobs."

My eyes must have gotten about five times their normal size because she put up both her hands and said, "No, its not like that. Gobbling the knob is just an expression, like licking the dick and rocking the cock. I lick and suck on men's penises and when they cum, I swallow it all and that gives me what I need in order to survive. I'm only allowed to come out on Halloween night and so this is my only chance to get something to eat." Then she looked up at me and practically pleaded, "Please, I'm really hungry."

I looked down at her and realized that I'd left any previous concept of bizarre in the dust a long time ago. Here I was, in the woods, in a Zorro costume with my dick hanging out of my pants and a four foot critter with a body of Venus and a face that would kill small animals wants to suck my dick. What the hell, I've had weirder dreams. At least I hope this was some kind of weird dream because if it was real then I am in for a one way ticket to a padded room.

I gazed into one of her eyes, shrugged and said, "Uh...OK. But no teeth."

She opened her mouth and I could see that there wasn't a tooth in her head. Just that long tongue and pink flesh where teeth would normally be. Then she looked at my dick and said "Can I see it all?"

I figured "what the hell?" and unbuttoned my pants letting them drop to my ankles and then pushed my underwear down as well. I thought she was going to faint with delight right then and there but she just reached out with one hand and started to gently stroke me. She had a fine delicate touch but I wasn't getting anywhere. That face was just too much. Then I got an idea. I took off the cloak that was part of the Zorro outfit and draped it over her head. She could still do all of the things she wanted to do but I wouldn't have to look at her.

She put those delicate fingers to good work caressing up and down to all the little sensitive spots. I was starting to get aroused and as soon as my cock started twitching, she planted some kisses up and down my shaft. Those lips may have looked big and flappy but they caressed my head and shaft like nothing I'd ever felt before. In no time at all I was good and hard and that's when she took me into her mouth.

OH. MY. GOD.

I have had quite a few blowjobs in my life and I've even had a couple by women who I would class as professionals but I have never in all of my life felt anything like what she was doing to me at that moment. She started by letting her tongue wrap itself around my meat as her hands ran up and down my thighs and caressed my balls. That tongue tickled all the perfect spots and I would twitch as she hit them just right. After a minute of tongue play she brought that mouth down on me and I thought I had sunk myself into the tightest juiciest pussy that I had ever felt. Those lips were creating just the right amount of pressure as she moved her head back and forth. Her hands caressed my ass and her mouth and lips moved up and down my cock while at the same time her tongue was swirling around and licking my balls. All I could do was put my head back and moan. The feeling was so intense I thought I had gone to heaven and even though I wanted this to last forever, I only managed to keep myself together for a couple of minutes before I exploded down her throat. I came harder than I ever had before and she swallowed every drop, sucking and licking me until I was completely spent.

I pulled the cloak from off her head and said, "That was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced. How did you learn to do that?"

Licking her lips she said, "When you need to do something in order to get food, you learn pretty quick." Then she looked at the ground and spoke like she was embarrassed. "I only need you to cum once in order to provide me with what I need to survive but if you would like to do it again then my metabolism uses your cum to change my appearance. My whole body used to look the same way my face does but over the years you can see how much it has changed. The men I have gotten nourishment from have been eager to provide me with the opportunity to do more and make my appearance more pleasing. Do you think you would like to do that as well?"

It took me all of about three-hundredths of a second to reach that decision. With as much sincerity as I could muster I said, "Well, if it will help you in the long run to be happier with who you are then I guess I can allow you to gobble my knob as many times as you feel is necessary. But until some of that extra spunk takes effect, we'll have to keep the cloak over your head."

Her whole body lit up with joy. "Oh, that's alright. I'm used to that." And she tossed the cloak over her head and proceed to go back after what she craved.

We kept at it until the sky started to brighten in the east. I lost count of how many times I came during the course of that night but whenever I felt there was nothing left Licki the Knobgoblin would throw some new wrinkle into the mix and I would go off like a rocket. One time she just wrapped her tongue around my cock and proceeded to jerk me off and another time I was sliding between her lips when her tongue actually reached all the way to my ass and she gave me a rim job and a blowjob at the same time. Eventually I pulled the cloak from over her head and she looked at the brightening sky. In the early morning light I could see that her hair was fuller and becoming a beautiful dark blonde, the skin on her face had cleared and her eyes were a little more settled. I guess she was right and the extra swallows of my cum were helping to make her more attractive. Just before the sun broke over the horizon, I came for the last time as she sucked down every last drop. Then she looked up at me and gave me a big sleepy smile.

"I have to go now and return to my underground home. Thank you for being so helpful. I'll be back here next year and I hope to see you again."

I gave her a long look and said, "I'll do my best but I can't make any promises."

She just nodded and disappeared.

Between you and me, I'll have to be locked up with battleship chains in the deepest dungeon on the moon to keep from being in those woods next Halloween.