The Journal of a Connecticut Yanee

Authors Note: A huge thanks to the author Coyo for once again allowing Donnie to visit one of his fine establishments!

*****

July 6th.

"...in other news, authorities are asking for the public's help in locating an escaped patient from the South Bay Mental Institution. Donnie ————— is described as 5'11,"weighing 170lbs and is considered unstable and very dangerous. If seen, call 911 immediately and do not approach, attempt to apprehend or sexually assault..."

I stared at my mug shot on the morning news. Not exactly the most flattering picture of yours truly out there. Unstable and dangerous huh? Yeah, that's as fitting of a description as any of me now a days.

I was holed up in a cheap motel thanks to my estranged daughter, Didi, who picked me up on the street last night during the rain storm. Unlike Vicky, who wanted more of an understanding of things, Didi seemed content with just straight out despising me.

It was a depressingly odd sensation, being hated by her - a daughter I didn't even know. Plus the fact that she was several years older than me didn't help things much either. I guess to her, I was the deadbeat dad that was never in her life. The dad that missed all the birthdays, the Christmases, school plays, baseball games and pretty much everything else.

I wondered how she found out about me, why she didn't question our age gap and how she knew where Ilias would take me. Any questions that I asked was responded by her threatening to shoot me with her own revolver. It was a Winona clone that Vicky, my grandaughter, created from the original blue prints.

Just another chapter in the train wreck of my life, I suppose. I always did say I was the daytime TV favorite of Fate, herself. Somehow I didn't think things had changed that much since my happy ass landed back on Earth. The bitch must have ordered HBO just to keep up with me.

The sound of an opening door pulled me from my musings as Didi walked out of the bathroom, fully dressed in black nondescript business clothes. On her belt was a badge and a holster. From what I was able to piece together, she was some kind of government agent, like the FBI but different. Something about a Mamono only division or something or other. Another change and addition to reality all thanks to your favorite fuck up.

"I have to go to, work's been a shit show since yesterday," She began in a huff as she grabbed a small purse from her beds nightstand.

"Something going on?" I asked.

"You are NOT to go out, you hear me?" She continued, once again ignoring my questions.

"I've left some food in the mini fridge and the do not disturb sign on the door- so that should keep anyone from knocking. Under no circumstances are you to step foot outside!" Didi finished with a glare to me.

"So I'm your prisoner here?" I asked quietly to her.

She answered by pulling her gun out of its holster.

"Which part of my instructions did you not understand?"

"Fine." I sighed. I didn't think she would pull the trigger but she was my daughter and I'm pretty sure it's within her to do anything up to and including shooting her old man. Even if her old man was much younger than her. At least it beats getting raped by a Manticore in some insane asylum.

Slamming the door shut, I could hear her footsteps as she walked away. Looking around the beaten room, I couldn't help but sigh and mumble,

"Well, what's the worst that could happen?"

I ended up spending the morning watching tv. The news offered some insights to the world around me and current goings on, soap operas were pretty much the same- except with gratuitous sex scenes. Kids programs were the safest, although I think Jim Henson would be rolling around in his grave if he saw what Sesame Street and The Muppets had become...

By the afternoon, I was going stir crazy. I just wasn't used to sitting around on my ass so much. Back in the day, I'd be traveling, taking up odd jobs as a Merc, or running around with Romie, saving the god damn world. A deep pang of sadness stabbed through me when that memory came around. I wondered what she would think of this whole crazy situation. Hell, she'd probably love it. Crazy situations and her went together like PB and J...

Taking a breath, I tried to rein in my feelings.I didn't want to cry, not again. Been doing too much of that as of late.

Flopping down in bed, I took the large marble that Ilias gave me out of my pocket to distract myself. Holding it up to the light, between my thumb and index finger, I examined the Goddess's last gift to me. It seemed exactly was it looked to be, a tiny, highly detailed depiction of Earth. Yet I knew there had to be something else. Her mysterious statement saying she changed it into something more fitting proved that point.

"What are you?" I mumbled out loud to the bauble. I half expected an answer, but wasn't too disappointed when the only response was from the TV. Shouldn't have expected it to be that easy, I thought as I returned the marble to its home in my pants pocket.

Another interesting thing was the clothes that she gave me. They weren't exactly your run of the mill stuff taken off the rack at Macy's. So far, they seemed to stay fresh and unwrinkled, as if I just put them on. Guess she really wanted to make sure I remembered her.

Women... Goddesses... Whatever, I sighed. Too damn complicated in my book.

Reaching into the other pocket I was surprised to find there was a folded piece of paper there. Pulling it out, I discovered what it was. Son of a bitch, it was the same paper Vicky had slipped into my hand that evening I saw her off from Druella's mansion. To say it was curious as to why Ilias chose to include it was an understatement. I knew she wasn't exactly keen on me staying on Earth and getting all domestic with the Mamono. Especially seeing as how I now technically had a few as kids and a grand kid.

Well, my dear daughter said not to go out, she didn't say anything about making phone calls...

Picking up the phone, I dialed the hastily scribbled number. It rung and rung until I was sure it would go to voicemail. Thankfully instead of an automated message, it was Vicky that answered.

"Hello?"

I hesitated. What was I going to say?

"Uh, hey... It's me..."

Not the best way to start a conversation.

"Who's this?"

Fuck.

"It's Donnie... Your... Grandad..."

Shit that just sounded so wrong. Hell, I'm not even 25 yet...

"Donnie! Where are you?!! They said you escaped a mental institution! Is that true?"

"Uh... Yeah. I had some help from um... a higher power, so to speak..." I said, stumbling around the fact that the Chief God, enemy to all Mamono kinda, sorta played a major role in me being free.

"Holy. Fucking. Maou. That's so bad ass!"

Jesus chick, really?

"Your... My... Um... Didi picked me up, she's got me in a hotel somewhere in a place called San Leandro?"

"San Leandro? Why does she have you in that shit hole of a town? Hey be careful over there cuz you're going to end up shot or raped by some Hell Hound gang."

And the day just keeps getting better...

"You know, I'm not entirely sure on that but... I'm going crazy here, I really need out."

"Do you want me to come pick you up?! I wanna introduce you to all my friends! Oh yeah my boyfriend too!"

Boyfriend?

Call it genetics, call it some kind of psychological reaction due to me finding out that I had children, but some where deep inside, I did NOT like the fact that she had a boyfriend. I glanced over to Winona laying on a pilliow.

"Sure..."

••••••••••••••••••••••

July 6th... cont.

San Jose State University Dorms.

So I'm pretty sure Didi is going to kill me... But hey, I left a note saying I was safe and with a friend. That should be good enough, right?

I was in Vicky's tiny dorm room, sitting on her bed, surrounded by herself and her friends- a Kappa, a Kobold, and a Kikimora. All Mamonos starting with K and all a few years younger than me. Somehow, deep down, I felt infinitely older. Maybe it's all I've been through; being stranded in a strange world, the violence, the death, murder, dealing with psychopaths and being up against veritable gods and aliens. Let's not also forget having to make decisions that not only affected billions but also changed reality itself.

Guess you could say I had them beat on fucked up life experiences.

I questioned for a brief moment if this was how Arawn had ever felt in his ageless life. Where did that coot end up? Or did he finally get his wish? I could have really used a splash of that old man's advice.

Her three friends were all eyeing me like I was the special of the week at the cafeteria. Admittedly there was a very high school feel to the scene. But then again I found out they were all 19 and just out of said high school. It kinda made sense.

"So spill it Vicky, who's the hunk of beef?" Asked the Kappa, her long amphibian tongue licking her chops at me.

"Are you cheating on your boyfriend?" The Kikimora added with a slight hint of disapproval. The Kobold simply stayed silent, staring at me, her nose wiggling heavily in my direction.

"Shut up and stop being such a slut!" Vicky giggled as she playfully slapped the frog girl on the arm while passing by to sit on a computer chair next to me.

"And no, Mari, I'm not cheating on Devin," She huffed in the direction of the Kiki, "This is my gran... uh..."

My grandaughter paused as she realized that she was about to call a guy a few years older than her 'grandad.' I kept my mouth shut, mildly amused that I wasn't the only one having to deal with a screwed up situation.

"Your what?" Asked Slutty Froggy suspiciously.

I think at that point, she finally realized that telling the truth about me wouldn't work. It was just so unbelievable, so crazy, that the everyday Joe, or in this case Jane, wouldn't be able to comprehend nor accept it.

"Myyyyy... ggrrrrrreat cousin Donnie! From my grandads side... Twice removed. He's in town, visiting." Finished Vicky awkwardly with a hesitant smile and a flush on her face.

Seemed she sucked at bullshitting almost as badly as her old, old man.

The three looked over at Vicky in semi-disbelief then back at me. I offered a small smile and wave of my hand to them. Guess it still beats being stuck in a run down hotel.

"And Donnie, this is Becky, Mari and Polly," She said pointing at the frog, the bird and the dog, "They've been my best friends since high school."

A small warmth filled me, it was nice to see she had girlfriends like that. If I were honest with myself, I would admit that I didn't make buddies that easily. I didn't have too many to name, and none that would understand what I had been through. Knowing that Vicky had good friends... It... It made me happy...

Everyone mumbled polite greetings then Mari asked politely with a gentle smile, "So Donnie, where are you from?"

"Connecticut."

"You smell funny." Stated Polly, the Kobold, suddenly.

"Polly!" Admonished Mari.

"See? This is why you haven't gotten laid yet." Added Becky with a heavy, dramatic sigh.

I was willing to bet Lassie was not only smelling Ilias on me but her handy work with the clothes. Romie had a similar reaction when the Goddess kissed me in a dream and I'm pretty sure that the real life deal left a stronger scent. Either by nature or by good ol' Maou ma's design, the more animalistic Mamono seemed to be able to sniff her out.

"It's ok," I said, trying to distract everyone from Rovers little faux pas "I tried this new uh, cologne on and, yeah, it's not the best."

Once again, PR work saves the day.

"Got a girlfriend?" Becky asked bluntly with a predatory grin.

"He's off limits, Becky." Vicky growled, almost possessively. It was nice to know she cared.

"Awww come on!" The Kappa wined as she grabbed a hold of Vicky's arm and shook it, "We could totally be in-laws!"

"Not with a hoe like you!"

The Kappa gasped in mock insult, "You whore!" Then added for good measure, "Come on slut, it would be totally fun to be related!"

The two started to wrestle playfully as Mari played mother, trying to break them up and Polly jumped up and down in excitement at the tussle.

"I'm in a relationship." I said dryly as I watched them go at it.

Vicky paused suddenly and glanced over at me right before Becky slammed the palm of her hand straight into her face. My grandaughter crashed painfully to the ground and shouted,

"Ow, you fucking bitch that hurt!"

Nice to know she could swear just as good as I could.

Pulling herself up from the ground I could see it bothered her by me saying that. As much as she maybe wanted otherwise, I was still a stranger in her family that was married to someone else.

"Stop complaining, I've taken you down much harder than that before." Becky retorted lewdly with a wink and lick of her lips.

I tried my best to ignore the connotations of that statement as well as the blush forming on Vicky's face. In answer, she threw a discarded bottle of nail polish at the Kappa's head. The frog had pretty decent reflexes as she dodged the cherry red bottle that ended up clanking against the wall behind her.

"Well we all better leave now if we are going to make it to class," Mari said maturely as she took out her phone from her purse and glanced at it.

Everyone groaned at the statement as they stood and piled out of the room.

"You three go without me, I'm gonna skip so I can introduce him to Devin. Just take notes for me?"

Mari shot her a disapproving look as the other two said their goodbyes to me. Guess the Kiki really was like the groups mom. Vicky simply rolled her eye in answer as she locked the room behind her. After shooting off a quick text from her phone, she grabbed my hand and lead me across the sizable campus over to the men's dorm.

As we walked, I nervously kept peering around in hopes that no one would recognize me.

"Why are you acting all jittery?" Vicky asked.

"Remember, I'm an escapee from a mental hospital and my mugshot was all over the morning news." I mumbled back to her.

She stopped and gave me a condescending look.

"What?" I asked.

"The news," Vicky laughed, "Come on Donnie! If it's not on Fuckbook, no one gives a crap!"

Well, she had me there. When we reached the entrance, Vicky grabbed me aside and whispered,

"Hey I gotta use the bathroom, just hang out here, ok?"

Looking around, I nodded absently as she ran to use the facilities. The men's dorms were pretty nice, evidently they just had a remodel or something because they seemed newer than the female ones. There were a couple guys tossing a frisbee around, another on a guitar up against a tree. Here and there I saw a few couples making out, both human and Manono mixed. My eyes settled on a small table near the entrance. Curious, I walked over to see rosaries, pamphlets and bibles spread across its top. I grabbed one of the teal colored papers. On it was the symbol for The Order integrated and intertwined with the Christian cross, the Jewish Star of David and the Muslim star and crescent moon. Above were the words: Mamono Means The End To Humanity!

I snorted a laugh. So, somehow The Order managed to survive and make its way to Earth, huh? It was almost too ironic though. Before, you would never see all the religions banning together like this, especially with Islam. Yet the thing was, World War 2 never happened, both the Korean and the Vietnam wars as well. The Gulf war and 9-11? Yep, same thing.

I learned that after Maou Ma popped into Earth, there was never a major war afterwards. Sure, there were the occasional spats here and there but nothing in the magnitude of the history of my own reality. Little did these guys know that it was actually because of the Demon Lord and family that this little religious Super Friends team up was possible.

I honestly didn't know how to feel about it. On one hand millions, perhaps billions, of lives were saved. On the other, did humanity miss out on some kind of valuable lessons learned only through bloodshed? That war was both horrible and terrifying. That at some point we had to work things out. Funny thing is, I didn't think we were at that point. There were still atrocities happening on a daily basis in my own reality.

Here, it seemed there wasn't quite that much. Yes, there were still murders, still the daily goings on of people against people. Forgive me for going off my train of thought. Sometimes I try to play philosopher when I'm just too stupid for the job.

"Interested in joining the Holy Sect of Fredrickson, my son?"

I looked up to see an almost familiar face. He wore the black clothes of a priest, complete with a white stole. It took me a moment to realize it wasn't him, though. Wrong color eyes, nose was smaller, cheeks a bit too low. Besides, I doubted that old fucker could have been still around.

"Fredrickson?"

"Yes, we are a small church and movement located in the heart of Santa Clara. We work to spread the word of truth that, despite their kind words and actions, the monsters are trying to destroy Humanity! Right now Human birthrates are at an all time low! Humanity is in danger of going extinct! My ancestor, Karl Fredrickson, Chief God bless his soul, was a Paladin that worked tirelessly saving men, woman and children from the monsters temptations. I take it upon myself to do the same!" He finished proudly.

"He was an Inquisitor." I mumbled, staring between the pamphlet and the grandson, perhaps great grandson, of the man that I once disliked, yet somehow, on a small, odd level, respected.

Memories resurfaced of him. When I first started off as a Merc, I took a few small, basic jobs for The Order and worked with Fredrickson on a couple. Not to mention also on the failed peace talks. To say our differing ideologies made us bump heads was an understatement. I saw him as a close minded old bastard, with the answer to all of life's problems being at the end of a sword or a noose. There was quite a number of times where I almost shot the ass because he was pissing me off so much, but The Order paid pretty well at the time and a guys gotta eat... If I had to say one redeeming thing of him, it would be he deeply cared about people... well Humans. In a world where humanity was on the endangered species list, he fought against the end.

Funny, it was only few years ago for me, yet it seemed like a lifetime.

"You... Your mistaken, son. My great grand father was a respected Paladin that upheld a moral code, and rescued thousands from the Mamono scourge!"

Maybe growing up, that's what he was told. That grand pappy Fred was a hero, going around saving people like a regular Sir Lancealot. I found that I didn't have the heart to argue nor tell him contrary. I've already done enough damage.

Let him believe what he wanted. He had a direction, a cause and a crusade to fight for in this world. It was something that I was almost envious of in a messed up way.

"Get away from him!"

I was suddenly grabbed by the arm and yanked away.

"Go spread your bigotry somewhere else, you racist!" Vicky spat furiously to the priest.

"Mankind will eventually learn the error of its ways and cast your kind out, monster." He replied sternly as he crossed his arms.

"Go fuck yourself." She retorted.

"Do not be tempted by them, my son!" He called as Vicky dragged me away.

"Ugh! I don't know why they let those creeps onto campus! Stupid religious freedom. Keep away from guys like that, they-"

"Calm down."

She stopped pulling and gave me an angry look.

"What, just accept what those bible thumping bigots say about me? About my kind?!"

"No, but I've delt with those same bible thumping bigots before, except they were packing swords, magic spells and all other kinds of shit. They were all too happy in murdering ever Mamono they could see. I've killed them, shot them and everything in between. There's two very important things to remember- One; No matter how many you take out, more will always pop up, and two..."