(This is my entry for the Halloween Contest 2024. If you like it, please give me a good vote, that would mean a great deal to me!! Thank you for reading!!)
(All characters in this story are over 18)
The dead loved me better then the living ever had.
To start with the living; my name is Lara Sheen, and my life was in a spiral until I came to Crook House. Now I feel like I've started to live again.
The firm sent me to the house to oversee some renovations. It was a caretaker job really, part estate agent, part site manager. It was a damn weird property. It had been off the companies books for years. They owned it but had deemed it unsellable. I always assumed it was damaged or unsafe, it was Bella who filled me in when she took me out to lunch one day.
"It's haunted," she said bluntly.
I laughed, but she didn't. She did smile eventually. Bella was always straight with you. No nonsense. She sighed and gave me the story. "We've sold it, I don't know, maybe twenty times now, and every time people refuse to stay. The longest only lasted about a month. They see things. Hear things. Feel things. There's a long report about it, I'll send you a copy. But we can't shift the bloody place. We just want to do it up, sell it on and get rid of it."
"What's changed? New interest?"
Bella nodded. "One party wants the land, he doesn't care about spook stories he just wants to change it into flats, maybe build more on the garden. It's a large property. There's another person, an eccentric who keeps asking questions. He's curious, but he's only making low offers, he's testing us, seeing if we're willing to give it away. The thing is we've reached our limit with it. The offers aren't amazing, but at this point we'll take them."
She wanted me to oversee the project. "You might want to stay at the property. For obvious reasons you might not. It's up to you. There's a hotel nearby."
I gave her a curious look. "You don't really believe its haunted, do you?"
Bella laughed. She had green eyes that lit up when she did. I wished I'd heard her laugh more. "No," she said, "these big old place are full of shadows and creaks. The imagination has gaps and fills them up all sorts of things. I don't know what they thought they saw, but I'm sure you'll be fine."
She didn't sound sure.
Bella ordered us some drinks while I thought it over. She had brought some documents for me to look at, including a few pictures of the house. It was a grand property. Gothic in a way. It would be Halloween in a few months. I smiled at that.
It appealed to me. Not just the atmosphere of the place, but the seclusion. A good place to sit and think about your life. Sort of a holiday. "Looks sort of romantic," I said.
Bella glanced at the photo I was studying. "No one's been murdered there. That we know of, at least. It's only been a happy home."
I snorted. "What's that?"
I went through the other documents, I could feel Bella looking at me. Why had she chosen me? Did she know I needed something like this? A distraction? Did she know there was something wrong?
Maybe you shouldn't send a haunted person to a haunted house.
***
Sitting in my car I checked my messages. There were a few notifications from some dating apps. I was tired of them, but I still checked them. I tapped SubSpace. It was a specific kind of dating app. I tapped in my name, KNEELING.PLS and looked at my profile. My photo caught my eye. Pale as a goth. Long black hair. Hazel eyes. Good lips. It was a stupidly bold picture for a submissive seeking a master.
I had a few new hits and a few messages. Mostly the usual try hard would-be masters. There first line was "You will be my pet and refer to me as sir..." Etc. no attempt to strike a rapport first. Jesus. Where was the trust supposed to come in?
Some nervy guy told me I was beautiful, which was nice but not helpful.
No one stood out. I considered sending a couple of guys some messages, maybe even sending them the dirty pictures they had asked for. You never know, it might make me feel something.
I threw my phone on the passenger seat and took a deep breath. There were worse things then feeling lonely. Empty was far worse.
***
All day I felt shit. I was happy with the meeting with Bella, and I had accepted the job. But the rest of the day had got back into an old groove. When I got home I threw my keys on a shelf and kicked my shoes off. I made a meal that I tried to enjoy. I took a shower that made me miss being touched. I went to bed and sat in the dark. I couldn't stop thinking. I wanted to reopen the app. Send a guy something flirty. Something dirty. Maybe I could trust them. Maybe they could give me a task. Spanking myself felt okay. Sometimes. Jesus. I sighed. I was naturally submissive. I had felt that way for as long as I could remember, but I had no one who could share it with me.
Not for years.
Joe was my first, and really only, master. I was twenty five, he was ten years older. I was dating his brother when I met him. He captivated me. Stern, confident. Always wearing striking cologne. The sheer musk of him, the weight of his presence when he brushed against me; he electrified me.
One day there was a big family get together and I got chatting with his girlfriend. It turned out she was more of a fuck buddy. She had a couple of Martinis, and when I pressed about sex, she told me he was rough. Dominant. He liked to tie her down. She giggled as she said it. Clearly it wasn't her thing, but she got off on it well enough.
Finally.
I found Joe later on, and steered the conversation to his girlfriend, and her loose tongue. I didn't know how to be bold, but he could tell I was interested. He brushed some hair from my face, and I was sure he could feel me shiver.
I was his by the end of the week. I was being tied up, face down, on his cool bed sheets, and he was walking around me. He had collared me. He spanked and whipped me, while I thanked him. He told me the more he hurt me the harder I came. He seemed impressed.
We were inseparable for about three months. He taught me my own body. He pushed me, explored me. I felt all of the things I had always longed to try and taste. I would meet him at his luxurious apartment and immediately strip for him. The long days before we met up filled me with a sort of empty sickness. A despair of banality. He elevated everything. He would plug me and blindfold me. Dear God. The toys and tools of our play. I was breathless remembering them. The delicious anticipation I felt as I sat on his bed, waiting for him to come to me, was perfect.
It couldn't last. All too soon he was gone, work that took him to Hong Kong. He was curt about it, I was under no illusions he loved me. As he was going, he paused and then embraced me. "Don't worry," he'd whispered in my ear, "you'll find this with someone else."
Then he had smiled and walked out my door.
Next was Brad. He was hot, and at first he was fun. But above all else he was selfish. He liked me being submissive, but he had no interest in what it did for me. There was a callousness to him that never made it fun. I asked him to spank me, and he made sure it hurt. When I told him it was too hard he was exasperated. He had no patience. I cried once and he got angry with me. I tried to articulate myself, to explain what I liked, what I needed, but I realised he wasn't listening. He never had been. I don't know if he was aroused by my pain, but he was definitely amused. A sadist who didn't understand sadism.
When a man waves red flags, pay attention.
Martin was lovely. We met at work, and he gave me puppy dogs eyes whenever I entered the room. I took to wearing short skirts sometimes, just to see him squirm. Eventually he asked me out, and we had fun. He was in love though. The sex was nice, I loved how attentive he was, how patient. He wasn't great at going down on me, but he gave it his all. He would have licked me all night if I'd let him. I knew I would ask him to spank me sooner than later. That felt like the mildest thing he might accept. If was part of my nature. I craved it. I had come to realise I had numerous little triggers. The feel of a collar. The sight of a belt. The slap of a hand on my ass. The anticipation of lost control. When I asked him, Martin was horribly startled. He didn't want to hurt me, he certainly didn't want to control me. If anything, he might have understood better if I'd asked him to submit to me. Perhaps I should have done that, eased him in somehow? Got him to appreciate how good it felt. Then he might have wanted to give me the same feeling.
Still, we played a little. Or tried to. He spanked me, and I enjoyed being on all fours thanking him. But his heart wasn't in his hand. After each strike he'd ask if I wanted to stop. "Was that too much, Lara? Are you good? Oh my gosh, I'm sorry, was that too hard?"
Over and over.
We lay in bed one night and I stared at the ceiling. He was nice to me. Why wasn't that enough? Why wasn't love enough? It was then that I faced the brutal blunt truth. I didn't love him. Not at all. The fact he couldn't, wouldn't, access this part of me was not helping.
After this I began to grow distant from him. He could feel me pulling away. I was like a shadow peeling myself from his skin. One night he cried as we undressed. He said he would spank me if I wanted, he would do whatever I wanted because he loved me.
But I didn't want to hurt him either. How could I ask him to do something that clearly distressed him? We sat on the bed and had a good heart to heart. I told him about Joe. I told him about things far harder and rougher than spanking. Things I had liked, even if I'd only sampled them, I had been left hungry for more. He began to appreciate the gulf between us.
"Don't ask me why I like it, because I don't know. But I do. I want it. It makes me feel alive."