Breathe. Just breathe, Mr. Hughes thought to himself as he closed his eyes and felt the air burn as it moved in and out of his chest. It had been so many days since his body hadn't been wracked with pain, self inflicted and otherwise, and he wasn't sure just how much more he could take. This woman, this dainty, sweet, enchanting woman loved him, and he was acting like a fool. When had he stopped fighting for her and started fighting against her? None of this made sense. He didn't want this, he didn't want to fight, he didn't want to keep things from her, and he didn't want to lose her because of what he had been put through for ages. It wasn't her fault he had made a choice so long ago to come to earth, she hadn't told him to suffer like this, but he was making her join him in it now, and he knew it was wrong.
Maybe if he counted, it would help cool him down. He definitely couldn't say anything yet, not angry like he was, like he had been since this whole thing started months ago. And not when she was looking at the floor at his feet with tears falling from her eyes as she realized just what she had said to him. But he couldn't see that anymore, he had closed his eyes as she'd sunk to the floor about ten feet from him.
One.
She wanted a house, a husband, children. He could give her a house, a huge house, this house, he would give it all to her if she just asked for it, but he knew that the spa was not what she wanted. The husband, well, that was easy, he loved her explicitly. He would walk down any aisle for her, maybe he should ask. No, he almost coughed out loud, no, he could not do that, it wouldn't make anything any better right now, and he had to fix this. Children, that was it right there. He couldn't really be the husband he wanted to be with her, and he couldn't give her children. But God forgive him, he could never allow her to have them with someone else. He experienced excruciating physical pain when she was performing sexual acts with others, he did not want to think of what he would be put through if she were to actually have sex.
"I'm sorry, Arc." Her voice was barely a whisper, but he didn't open his eyes to look down at her, he couldn't, not yet. He had to keep counting.
Two.
She hadn't said it, but he knew she needed friends. She was close with Shi, but Shi was wrapped up in the coming baby and didn't have time to spend with her every day. Deandra still texted her, but it wasn't the same. The closest she had to a friend nearby was Samir, and Mr. Hughes still didn't trust the giant to keep his hands to himself. Maybe he shouldn't think of Samir when he was counting, it just made him more angry. But she needed friends, and not just men who were attracted to her. He wondered if maybe he should ask Domino to return, but he knew she wouldn't, not unless he told her everything, and if she knew what he had put Vesper through, she would not be on his side, and he would hate himself even more. That only made him feel sick, that he would try to keep Domino in his corner, it was selfish.
Three.
She had let Fezekial lick her pussy. That was unforgivable, wasn't it? How could he forgive such a betrayal? But...hadn't he fucked a man in front of her and forced her to watch? That was equally terrible. What had made him do something so incredibly stupid? He had been out of control, completely unable to stop what he was doing despite all of the warnings going off in his head. He'd fought to stop, he'd had quite the internal dialogue going, but hadn't been able to pull away and set her free. What had caused that? Why was he so hell bent that night?
Four.
"I-I didn't mean what I said. I would never have a baby with someone else. I just want you. I only want you. I don't know why I keep doing things, letting people touch me, I feel so awful all of the time." Her voice floated into his ears again and he sighed.
Five.
Why were they doing this to themselves? Why couldn't they just stop ripping out each other's hearts? It really made no sense. Weren't they in charge of their own actions, for the most part? He knew his compulsion to fuck was a punishment that he couldn't ignore, but couldn't he just have a conversation with her about it that didn't involve yelling about it? Couldn't they be civil and discuss how to deal with it? It was like every time that they were together, things heated up without them even trying, and then suddenly their world exploded and they had no choice but to go along with it.
Six.
He opened his eyes. He was still in pain, but Mr. Hughes had felt the air shift a bit and wanted to make sure she hadn't left. She was still sitting on the floor, on her bottom with her legs now crossed in front of her. Her beautiful wings were stretched out and extended up a little behind her. She must have flapped them a little, moving the air in the hall. Her hair was down and slightly messy. Her eyes were huge pools of emotion.
He loved her. Sitting there, looking so innocent and approachable, he knew he loved her. Why the hell couldn't they just figure this out? Why did the woman sitting ten feet in front of him feel like more of an insurmountable feat than Alexandru being held captive across the world from his family? This should be so easy in comparison.
Seven.
He saw her furrow her brow and cock her head a little at him as she gazed into his eyes. Frowning a little, he bit his lower lip, it wasn't time to speak. Not even close.
"Your eyes go white when you're scared. Why are you afraid right now, Mr. Hughes?"
Vesper, he was afraid of her, of losing her, of touching her, of caring for her as much as he did. He was afraid of all of it. He was terrified that if he started talking again, that he would become angry, and that she would become angry, and that they would start screaming at each other like banshees and make an impossible situation even worse.
Eight.
He sensed a movement farther down the hall from her and let his eyes shift in that direction for a swift moment. Derrick had been looking down the hall, but when Mr. Hughes had looked in his direction, the employee had disappeared from view. He frowned, he was not usually spied on by his servants. How long had the man been standing there? What had he wanted?
"This silent treatment is killing me, Arc. It's too much. If you hate me now, if you hate me and this thing between us really is over, just tell me."
Nine.
The air was finally starting to feel a little cooler. He could breathe a little easier, and Mr. Hughes took advantage of that several more times as he looked down at her. When he felt his muscles begin to relax and his eyes felt moist all of a sudden, he knew that whatever angry hold that had been placed over him lately was starting to falter, and he was squatting down, his hands going to wipe his own cheeks before he could really consider why that might be happening.
Ten. Breathe, he reminded himself as he wiped his face dry, just breathe and talk to her.
"Her name is Antoinette Carson. She's an architect. I am hiring her to create a living space for you. She is not a sex partner. I brought her here for you." He said, his deep voice breaking throughout his words, and he watched as her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open.
"You're not going to have sex with that woman?" Vesper's voice was a little squeaky and it made his left lip tip up at the side a bit.
"No. I am not."
"She's making me an apartment? Like Faeron and Shi's?"
"If that is what you want. I am considering tearing down a portion of the dragons' chambers, though, as they do not need as large of a room above stairs. It might be a good idea to build a separate home for us there." He told her, happy to see a little bit of the color come back into her face.
"Us?"
"When you're ready for it to be us."
"I wish it could be farther from this place. I really don't like it here." Her frown made him frown, but they both knew there was nothing they could do about it.
"You can't have a baby with another man, Vesper. I don't think I could bear it, I'm in pain every time another man touches you. The kind of pain you describe when you try to leave here. I know that seems cruel, and I have been repeatedly cruel to you, but I cannot bear it." He said in a voice that was filled with his misery and he watched as she nodded ever so slowly.
