The Final Insult Ch 05

Dear Reader,

Left you wondering - here's what happens next.

Enjoy,

KemMyst

***************

"Devon didn't kill Ian." She stepped up to him, watching his eyes, "I did."

He looked at her, shocked and amazed. Callum moved to enter the room. Eddy, in lockstep with him. Beth put a hand on Callum's forearm. "You..."

"...killed Ian. Me."

He grabbed her arms. She looked at him, as if daring him to retaliate. She hissed at him under her breath. "Do it."

He looked at her a breath longer, then quickly pulled her against his chest, wrapped his arms around her, and cradled her head to his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

She went rigid against him, her arms trapped under his. What the hell?! What was he doing?

"I'm sorry for what my father did to you and that you had to kill him."

Gods, what was this? Why wasn't he trying to kill her? She started to struggle. He loosened his hold and she pushed away slightly. He took her face in his hands and kissed her. She stiffened, closed her eyes, and held still for a second, before gasping, and pulling away, her hand over her mouth, her eyes widened in horror.

She turned and bolted, pushing through the four at the door. She retreated to the tunnels and she ran. She ran until her breasts became painful and she knew it was past time to feed Evan. She stopped, head down, breathing hard, and thought. She had to go back to her room.

So she went back, hoping she wouldn't run into Ethan. But he was there, holding Evan, when she returned. She fixed him with a look as she took their son and sat in the rocking chair to feed him. Realizing she had closed down completely now, he stroked Evan's head lightly, and left the room without saying a word.

Beth passed him in the corridor, noting the lost look on his face. She knocked on Anne's door and entered. "How are you?"

Anne shook her head, also looking lost, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. "Do you feel anything for him?"

"I can't. Beth, Devon has only been gone..."

"Five years, Anne. Devon has been dead for almost five years." The tears spilled over.

"Then why do I still think I'm gonna see him walk around the corner, hear his voice, feel his arms around me? Why does it still hurt so much? Why do I still miss him?"

Beth's voice got quieter. "I know how much you loved him, but you've mourned him long enough." Anne opened her eyes to look at Beth again. "You were pregnant, unwilling to give in. And he believed you'd never care for him." A sigh. "The only thing Devon wanted was for you to be happy here. He'd still want that."

"You've been unhappy too long now. It's time to let go of the pain and let some other feeling in." She caressed Evan's head, kissed it. "He's kind, considerate, and, whether either one of you wants to admit it, he loves you. And, I think you've grown to care for him too. Open yourself to something other than grief."

"You and Devon didn't have a choice to come together. But it's your choice now."

For two full days she avoided him, leaving a room when he entered, turning around when she saw him in the hallway, ignoring him when he came to visit Evan.

He got frustrated, distracted. He finally hunted down Beth to talk. "Now what? She won't even look at me anymore."

"She's afraid. That's good."

"Afraid of what?"

"Afraid of what she's feeling. She's been closed off so long now that any other feeling is frightening to her. It means she's healing."

Ethan looked confused. "I thought she had recovered from the birth."

"That isn't what I mean." Beth smiled slightly as she turned to leave. "She's finally getting over Devon's death. She's almost ready to let him go."

****

The discovery was made that afternoon and announced at dinner. A side of venison had been lost and rats had contaminated some of the dry goods. They were going to have to start rationing food and hope for some breaks in the weather.

At 40 members, most children, it would be difficult to get enough food for them all. They still had a couple of months of winter left. The mood of the pack had turned now, more to fear than anything else. Some of the other packs were starving during the winter, now it looked like they might go hungry, too. The meal was quiet.

Ethan took Callum aside afterwards. "If we can get out to the east side of the range, I have stores there. It will help if we can get to them."

"What do you suggest?"

"I'll build a sledge. If the snow isn't too deep we should be able to get to them. It's a lot of stuff. Maybe three of us."

"How long to build the sledge?"

"Maybe a couple of days."

"Do it. William and Colin will go with you. Eddy can probably help you with the sledge. We'll keep this quiet for now." Ethan nodded his understanding.

*****

Anne finally began to speak to Ethan again and look at him. He was relieved that she hadn't pushed him away for longer. She avoided touching him at all costs, but he believed now that that would come. However, her scent was building and he had to rein himself in tightly to keep from touching her. He caught Beth in the hall one day. "You're right. It's getting worse."

She looked after him as he moved away, confused and concerned.

****

The men took off on a clear day. Ethan, William, Colin, and Nick. It took longer than anyone liked, but they returned, triumphant, with the food that Ethan had cached. Enough to replace most of what was lost.

The pack gathered around, happy that things would be easier, that there was more food, and less chance of going hungry.

Everyone helped, bringing hot beverages for the men, unpacking the sledge, putting away the supplies.

Anne was in her room when they returned, although aware of what was going on. She stayed in her room writing and thinking. Almost a third of the pack was of her blood, including the baby Alana would have soon. She had been in close proximity to Ethan Matlin for about three months. He hadn't challenged Callum or any of the other males. He hadn't gone anywhere near any of the girls. He'd been helpful, the perfect guest. And he was Alpha, whether or not he led a pack. If he had an evil nature, would he have been able to suppress it so long? His father certainly hadn't had that capacity. He could have easily wreaked havoc, done serious damage, but hadn't. And Beth trusted him.

At dinner, Callum announced the gift, although everyone already knew, and formally thanked Ethan. "In addition, I've consulted with other members of the pack, and we offer you a permanent place here, if that is your wish."

Ethan glanced at Anne, whose eyes had dropped to the plate before her. Unable to see her face, he couldn't tell what she was thinking. Then he realized the rest were waiting. "Thank you for your generous offer. This isn't something to be entered into lightly. I'd like a couple of days to think about it."

Callum looked at Ethan's eyes. "Of course. We await your decision. Let's eat."

Food was passed and everyone ate. It was a noisy set of tables, the pack about 40 strong. Adults helping youngsters, mated couples whispering secretly to one another, young folk looking at their peers of the opposite sex. And he thought of how good it felt to be there, to belong again, to be able to watch his son grow up. There was only one thing left. A mate. He wanted her, yes, loved her, he thought, but it wasn't up to him. It was her decision. Did she feel anything, at all, for him?

He watched her, coaxing Evan into taking some of his first solid food.

Later that evening many of them were in the entertainment room. Anne finished a book she had been reading and returned it to the library. Acknowledging the others with a hint of a smile, she started to leave the room. She ran into Ethan in the doorway and they both shifted a couple of times, into each other's way, as they attempted to pass one another. Ethan chuckled and Anne ghosted a smile. She lifted her head to look at him, her expression unreadable. "Ethan, I'd like to thank you for what you've done for the pack." She took a deep breath. All eyes in the room were now on them. "It seems my judgment was clouded."

He took her hands; she allowed it. "I don't discount that you had reason to think badly of me."

"You were right, though, I was blind to the evidence before me."

"I hope that..."

It came from half a dozen voices in the room. "Oh, kiss her/him, already!"

She closed her eyes, tightened her lips, and chuckled slightly. As she raised her head, he looked into her brown eyes, seeing a hint of fear, and she looked into his grey eyes, seeing the same. The kiss was light, brief. "Oh, come on. That wasn't a kiss."

Closer, he put a hand around her waist, the other at the back of her head and pulled her lips to his. Her hands, trembling slightly, found his shoulders. The second kiss was longer, deeper. As the kiss broke he looked to her for acceptance and swept her up into his arms, then turned for the bedrooms. Hoots and catcalls behind them made them blush.

He took her to her room but stopped before entering. "Would you rather..?"

She closed her eyes and swallowed. "No. It's OK."

He kicked the door open, then closed, and laid her gently on the bed. She closed her eyes again as he removed her skirt. He stripped, stood over the bed, and looked at her. Long brown hair, pooled under her, the face, the body, not quite relaxed. Rose colored areoles on firm breasts, the tips just begging to be touched. Her waist was smaller than he expected, her belly showing the marks from her pregnancies. Her legs were tan, tight, well muscled. Then her hips, wide, womanly, able to hold his weight so he wouldn't crush her. Curled brown hairs nestled above the place he'd been only once before, only this time he'd make her whimper, and maybe scream.

He wasn't getting on the bed with her, what was wrong? She opened her eyes to him studying her. His chest was broad, but, then, all of them were, something about being a werewolf. Shoulders, strong, arms, well muscled. Grey eyes, a study in anticipation. Wavy hair to his shoulder blades, almost the color of her own. Some hair on his chest, nothing excessive, down to a narrow waist, an ass you could bounce a quarter off of, and a cock that would make most women gasp. And gasp she did. How had she not noticed his size? Her mouth suddenly went dry and she licked her lips.

He smiled at her from the bottom of the bed and moved closer, took her feet and pushed them farther apart, so that he could look at the treasure nestled between her thighs. She closed her eyes again as he noted the color of her pussy lips matched the rose shade of her nipples. Her scent was getting stronger and he could see the moisture beginning to develop there.

She felt the mattress shift as he got onto the bed, felt him move beside her. He put his hand to her face. "Open your eyes, Anne. Look at me." The lids opened to reveal her brown eyes, looking a little sad.

"Do you have any idea how good you smell?"

She smiled sadly at the memory. Devon had asked the same question the first time he had come to her in this room. Her eyes got a little wet, and she blinked at sad tears. "So I've been told."

He moved closer, his hand on her waist, his face at her neck. "Your heart is beating faster", he whispered. "Are you afraid?"

"A little."

He stroked the hair on the side of her face. "How long were you together?"

She sniffed. "Eighteen years, before he left me."

"If you let me in, I promise I won't leave you."

"You can't promise that."

He sank down to kiss her, stopping her protests. His hand traced down her body, up her arm, across her waist, fingertips tracing lightly on her skin. She shivered.

She felt the warmth and firmness of him against her hip as his fingertips continued their travels across her skin. Her hand moved to his shoulder, his neck, up to his hair and his mouth traced to the hollow below her ear, at the back of her jaw.

Her chest began to heave as she closed her eyes and he moved down along her collarbone to her throat. He then engulfed a hardened nipple in his mouth, his fingers finding the other, and she gasped. Suckling at the one breast, he was startled by the liquid that came into his mouth and pulled away slightly.

She opened her eyes. "Um, sorry, lactating."

He smiled and chuckled a little, then bent down to lick up the milk that had seeped from her breast. "Mmm. So, this is what you give my boy?"

"Our boy, yes."

"It's not a problem if I take some?"

"A couple of mouthfuls won't hurt."

He licked at her nipple, flicking the other and she felt the jolt go down to throb in her center. "Does it feel different, when he's there?"

"Yes. He sucks harder, because he's trying to draw the milk out. The feeling is.. pleasurable, but very different."

His hand traced down to her thighs, delving between to slide his fingers through the moisture that had risen there. She'd gotten very wet. He worked two fingers inside and his teeth captured her nipple, pulling up to tighten it. She gasped, her back arched, and her nails grazed his skin. His eyes opened wide. "Does it hurt?"

She released a languid sigh. "No. Oh, no."

He moved, parting her thighs, and knelt between them. She reached out to grasp him and he took her wrists and pulled them away. Her eyes widened in surprise and fear and she struggled. "Let go." He sank down on her.

He touched her face with his free hand, turned her face towards him. "Anne. Anne. Anne! Stop." He heard her pulse racing now, in fear. "No." She moaned. He spoke softly to her. "I haven't been with many women." He took a deep breath. "If you touch me now, I fear this won't go any farther." She opened her eyes to look at him and he released her wrists. "If you want me to stop, right now, I will."

She looked at him a moment longer. "I'm sorry. Don't go." Her hands went to his shoulders, then she pulled them away. "Um, where?"

He kissed her neck. "Anywhere but there." Another deep breath. "As it is, I don't know how long I'll last", he whispered.

"Shall we see?"

He shifted downward, finding her breast again, as he moved to nestle the head of his cock in her slick folds. Her hands twined in his hair. She says one word as he got his knees under him. "Yes." He pushed into her, a little tentative, and went all the way in on the third try. She murmured lightly as he filled her completely and he groaned into her neck.

Her muscles tensed slightly around him, then she loosened, adjusting to his size. He was bigger than Devon was. It had been so long since she'd had a man make love to her.

Okay, it wasn't like he'd never done this before but he felt as if he couldn't move without bursting. She was so warm and slick around him, the muscles holding him, surrounding him. She gave him a quick squeeze with those muscles. Right, he had to move. He pulled out, feeling the air cool the juices that had covered his member. And he slid in again.

She picked up her knees, tilting her pelvis, and he slid in a bit deeper. Gathering himself, he began thrusting, finding a rhythm.

She shifted her hips up to meet him, her eyes closed. But she wasn't panting, or whimpering, as he'd like her to be. He stopped his thrusts and nuzzled her neck. Straightening his legs, and pushing her knees down, he rolled them both over,..

and off the side of the bed.

His head bounced off the floor and her weight helped knock the breath out of him. Then he felt her start shaking.

Catching his breath, he took her arms and pushed her up, looking at the tears rolling down her cheeks. He was about to ask her if she was hurt when he realized she was desperately trying not to laugh out loud. He hugged her back down to him and started laughing himself. She propped herself up on her elbows and wiped the tears from her eyes. "If you prefer the floor, there was a gentler way to go about it."

"Points off for the dismount?" They both started snickering again.

He pulled her down, and kissed her, feeling the softness of her hair falling around his head and shoulders. He stroked her back as Evan began crying. She picked her head up and his arms tightened around her to pull her back against his chest. "I'm coming, sweetie."

Amazing, all he had to do was cry and she practically forgets I'm here. And what was going on with her breasts, those start leaking when he cries too? She got her hands under her and pushed. "Let me go."

He nuzzled her neck. "Not yet."

"Let. Me. Go!" The tone of her voice startled him into loosening his grip. He looked at her, stunned, as she got up, walked to the crib, and picked up Evan. He sat up, watching her sit in the rocker and start to rock as Evan took hold and began suckling.

Dumbfounded, his erection fading, he stood. Anne had her eyes closed, rocking and nursing their son. There was a smile on her face and she rubbed his back with her free hand.

He picked up his pants, pulled them on, and quietly left the room, glancing back once. She didn't seem to notice him leaving.

William and Nick saw him in the hallway. "What happened? We figured you'd be sleeping there tonight."

Ethan looked embarrassed. "The baby started crying and she went to feed him."

"Her breasts started leaking?" Ethan nodded. "And the hungry baby cry claims another victim!"

"They're completely focussed on the baby when they hear the hungry cry. It's as if nothing else in the world exists. Their breasts start leaking and they can't seem to get a baby on one fast enough."

"OK, so, when to you get to have sex again?"

"You can start up again as soon as they've healed, you just have to plan for the right time."

"And you can't make an afternoon of it, at least, not until the baby's older."

"So, you figure out the timing, get in right after he's fed and plan on being done before he gets hungry again."

Ethan scrubbed his face. "OK. Thanks, guys." They slapped him on the back as he moved past them to go to his room.

Nick and William looked at each other and laughed. "Oh, he has no idea what he's in for."

He dreamed of her again this night. Actually, he dreamed of them, together, a family. He was back in a pack again; he belonged again. There was only one thing left - a family, a mate and their children. But he couldn't claim her; it was her choice. It was supposed to be her choice. Would she? They'd made a start, she had warmed to him, but that didn't mean she'd choose. What would he do if she didn't? How long could he stand to wait?

Oh, she smelled good, what was it about her that made her smell like that? What had Beth said? Something about her being part wolf to begin with? Part wolf? Maybe he should find out what that meant. Mmm, a family of his own.

He was in that state, just before waking, when all things were possible and it felt so real. He was with her; she was surrounding him and he had his arms wrapped around her. It was warm, or maybe it was just them. His heart sped up and he heard hers do the same. He pulled her mouth to his, and pressed his tongue against her lips, demanding she open for him. He plunged into her mouth as he plunged into her depths. She began gasping as they moved more quickly and he caressed her soft skin. Suddenly, she shrieked his name and arched backward. His release came as well and they collapsed against each other, gasping and sweating.

Dampness on his belly brought him to wakefulness. He'd had a wet dream. What was he? A teenager again? He needed to control himself, especially around her, since she still didn't trust him completely. Any hint that he was like his father and he could kiss any chance with her goodbye.

He was in the workshop again, carving his design into the wooden panels. He worked slowly, carefully, feeling the wood, enjoying the smell of the newly exposed wood. It always helped him relax and let him think. He was back in a pack, where he felt a part of a community again. He'd missed it while he was with the humans, but he hadn't realized how much. He hadn't thought he'd ever be able to come back to this, had expected to live out his life alone. But, because of her, he now had a place again with his own kind. Callum was beginning to press him for an answer, thinking that, since he had carried Anne off to her room, he would quickly agree to remain with them.