Dear Reader,
Left you wondering - here's what happens next.
Enjoy,
KemMyst
***************
"Devon didn't kill Ian." She stepped up to him, watching his eyes, "I did."
He looked at her, shocked and amazed. Callum moved to enter the room. Eddy, in lockstep with him. Beth put a hand on Callum's forearm. "You..."
"...killed Ian. Me."
He grabbed her arms. She looked at him, as if daring him to retaliate. She hissed at him under her breath. "Do it."
He looked at her a breath longer, then quickly pulled her against his chest, wrapped his arms around her, and cradled her head to his shoulder. "I'm sorry."
She went rigid against him, her arms trapped under his. What the hell?! What was he doing?
"I'm sorry for what my father did to you and that you had to kill him."
Gods, what was this? Why wasn't he trying to kill her? She started to struggle. He loosened his hold and she pushed away slightly. He took her face in his hands and kissed her. She stiffened, closed her eyes, and held still for a second, before gasping, and pulling away, her hand over her mouth, her eyes widened in horror.
She turned and bolted, pushing through the four at the door. She retreated to the tunnels and she ran. She ran until her breasts became painful and she knew it was past time to feed Evan. She stopped, head down, breathing hard, and thought. She had to go back to her room.
So she went back, hoping she wouldn't run into Ethan. But he was there, holding Evan, when she returned. She fixed him with a look as she took their son and sat in the rocking chair to feed him. Realizing she had closed down completely now, he stroked Evan's head lightly, and left the room without saying a word.
Beth passed him in the corridor, noting the lost look on his face. She knocked on Anne's door and entered. "How are you?"
Anne shook her head, also looking lost, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. "Do you feel anything for him?"
"I can't. Beth, Devon has only been gone..."
"Five years, Anne. Devon has been dead for almost five years." The tears spilled over.
"Then why do I still think I'm gonna see him walk around the corner, hear his voice, feel his arms around me? Why does it still hurt so much? Why do I still miss him?"
Beth's voice got quieter. "I know how much you loved him, but you've mourned him long enough." Anne opened her eyes to look at Beth again. "You were pregnant, unwilling to give in. And he believed you'd never care for him." A sigh. "The only thing Devon wanted was for you to be happy here. He'd still want that."
"You've been unhappy too long now. It's time to let go of the pain and let some other feeling in." She caressed Evan's head, kissed it. "He's kind, considerate, and, whether either one of you wants to admit it, he loves you. And, I think you've grown to care for him too. Open yourself to something other than grief."
"You and Devon didn't have a choice to come together. But it's your choice now."
For two full days she avoided him, leaving a room when he entered, turning around when she saw him in the hallway, ignoring him when he came to visit Evan.
He got frustrated, distracted. He finally hunted down Beth to talk. "Now what? She won't even look at me anymore."
"She's afraid. That's good."
"Afraid of what?"
"Afraid of what she's feeling. She's been closed off so long now that any other feeling is frightening to her. It means she's healing."
Ethan looked confused. "I thought she had recovered from the birth."
"That isn't what I mean." Beth smiled slightly as she turned to leave. "She's finally getting over Devon's death. She's almost ready to let him go."
****
The discovery was made that afternoon and announced at dinner. A side of venison had been lost and rats had contaminated some of the dry goods. They were going to have to start rationing food and hope for some breaks in the weather.
At 40 members, most children, it would be difficult to get enough food for them all. They still had a couple of months of winter left. The mood of the pack had turned now, more to fear than anything else. Some of the other packs were starving during the winter, now it looked like they might go hungry, too. The meal was quiet.
Ethan took Callum aside afterwards. "If we can get out to the east side of the range, I have stores there. It will help if we can get to them."
"What do you suggest?"
"I'll build a sledge. If the snow isn't too deep we should be able to get to them. It's a lot of stuff. Maybe three of us."
"How long to build the sledge?"
"Maybe a couple of days."
"Do it. William and Colin will go with you. Eddy can probably help you with the sledge. We'll keep this quiet for now." Ethan nodded his understanding.
*****
Anne finally began to speak to Ethan again and look at him. He was relieved that she hadn't pushed him away for longer. She avoided touching him at all costs, but he believed now that that would come. However, her scent was building and he had to rein himself in tightly to keep from touching her. He caught Beth in the hall one day. "You're right. It's getting worse."
She looked after him as he moved away, confused and concerned.
****
The men took off on a clear day. Ethan, William, Colin, and Nick. It took longer than anyone liked, but they returned, triumphant, with the food that Ethan had cached. Enough to replace most of what was lost.
The pack gathered around, happy that things would be easier, that there was more food, and less chance of going hungry.
Everyone helped, bringing hot beverages for the men, unpacking the sledge, putting away the supplies.
Anne was in her room when they returned, although aware of what was going on. She stayed in her room writing and thinking. Almost a third of the pack was of her blood, including the baby Alana would have soon. She had been in close proximity to Ethan Matlin for about three months. He hadn't challenged Callum or any of the other males. He hadn't gone anywhere near any of the girls. He'd been helpful, the perfect guest. And he was Alpha, whether or not he led a pack. If he had an evil nature, would he have been able to suppress it so long? His father certainly hadn't had that capacity. He could have easily wreaked havoc, done serious damage, but hadn't. And Beth trusted him.
At dinner, Callum announced the gift, although everyone already knew, and formally thanked Ethan. "In addition, I've consulted with other members of the pack, and we offer you a permanent place here, if that is your wish."
Ethan glanced at Anne, whose eyes had dropped to the plate before her. Unable to see her face, he couldn't tell what she was thinking. Then he realized the rest were waiting. "Thank you for your generous offer. This isn't something to be entered into lightly. I'd like a couple of days to think about it."
Callum looked at Ethan's eyes. "Of course. We await your decision. Let's eat."
Food was passed and everyone ate. It was a noisy set of tables, the pack about 40 strong. Adults helping youngsters, mated couples whispering secretly to one another, young folk looking at their peers of the opposite sex. And he thought of how good it felt to be there, to belong again, to be able to watch his son grow up. There was only one thing left. A mate. He wanted her, yes, loved her, he thought, but it wasn't up to him. It was her decision. Did she feel anything, at all, for him?
He watched her, coaxing Evan into taking some of his first solid food.
Later that evening many of them were in the entertainment room. Anne finished a book she had been reading and returned it to the library. Acknowledging the others with a hint of a smile, she started to leave the room. She ran into Ethan in the doorway and they both shifted a couple of times, into each other's way, as they attempted to pass one another. Ethan chuckled and Anne ghosted a smile. She lifted her head to look at him, her expression unreadable. "Ethan, I'd like to thank you for what you've done for the pack." She took a deep breath. All eyes in the room were now on them. "It seems my judgment was clouded."
He took her hands; she allowed it. "I don't discount that you had reason to think badly of me."
"You were right, though, I was blind to the evidence before me."
"I hope that..."
It came from half a dozen voices in the room. "Oh, kiss her/him, already!"
She closed her eyes, tightened her lips, and chuckled slightly. As she raised her head, he looked into her brown eyes, seeing a hint of fear, and she looked into his grey eyes, seeing the same. The kiss was light, brief. "Oh, come on. That wasn't a kiss."
Closer, he put a hand around her waist, the other at the back of her head and pulled her lips to his. Her hands, trembling slightly, found his shoulders. The second kiss was longer, deeper. As the kiss broke he looked to her for acceptance and swept her up into his arms, then turned for the bedrooms. Hoots and catcalls behind them made them blush.
He took her to her room but stopped before entering. "Would you rather..?"