I laid on the cot, smoke haloing around my head. I couldn't even summon the energy to shift my weight. Ari whimpered in her sleep; her fiery red locks fanned around me as she slept on my chest. She'd refused to leave my side, and I think it was as much for her as it was for me.
Plus, she had to keep an eye on me.
I'd tried to end it twice already, and no one was itching for a third go-round. There were still scorch marks on the walls, evidence of just how far I'd fallen. I didn't sleep, I didn't eat...not like I needed to do any of that anymore. Ari had explained it, and I'd only half-listened.
What Luc-...what she'd done before she died. The spell had been a transferral, a last-ditch effort to keep not only me alive but her entire race. Her magic had ripped my half-angel heritage out of its prison in the process, leaving me some kind of hybrid that even Ari couldn't put a name to.
Raw energy surged through me, so much so fast that I spent as much time dealing with the constant flow of it as I did the crushing emptiness where half my soul used to be...I didn't sleep, I didn't eat, part of me wondered if I even needed to anymore.
I was, quite simply, one of a kind.
I was also the Devil now, de facto ruler of Hell...and I didn't want one goddamn bit of it. Lucy had said it would pass to me... I wasn't ready for what she meant. I had her magic, her perception of the world; I could feel the heartbeat of the universe and in my weakened state if I hadn't had Ari in those first few weeks? I would've lost my mind. But she helped me corral it, helped me process what I was feeling.
I still felt the Demons in Hell and the souls of the damned, pressing up against my mind like an itch I couldn't quite scratch. A constant reminder of how I'd failed and continued to fail. I had no idea how to do this... how to live without her.
I'd never felt so lost.
Someone knocked at the door, not bothering to wait for a response that wasn't coming. I stared at the ceiling until Mom filled my view.
"Hi." She whispered, settling onto the thin mattress. A hand brushed across my forehead, "Baby...I...." Her voice trailed off into a soft sob.
I grabbed her hand; I couldn't let her sit there and believe I was beyond saving.
No matter how true it was.
I took a breath and pulled the trigger.
"I'm leaving, Mama, I don't know where I'm going, but I can't stay here." My fingers rubbed the only thing I had left of Lucy, the sigil pin she always wore pricked into my fingers, and I relished the slight pain.
Ari shifted and whimpered again.
"I know. Jen told me."
"Dad is gonna take you guys somewhere safe."
The hand in mine squeezed, "What are you gonna do?"
I finally pulled my gaze from the ceiling and looked Mom in the eye.
"I'm going to find...and I'm going to kill...Every. Last. One of them...."
Her eyes slid closed, tears running down her face as she nodded.
"There's nothing I can say to make you stay, is there?"
I shook my head, "No. Killing them is all I have left. They took..." My voice cracked, and it took everything I had to keep the tears in, "They took her from me, and I can't explain to you just how profound the loss is...she was half of me, and now she's gone...I can't live with that, not if I don't make them pay...I'm sorry."
Mom squeezed my hand again, "I know what it felt like when I lost your dad, like a void that nothing could fill. I could feel how much she loved you,
feel
it. I'd give anything to take that pain away...." Her eyes met mine, and they were all hard-edged now.
"They deserve to burn for it."
I wondered when Mom had gotten so goddamned tough. Ari stirred before I could respond, popping off my chest, gasping as tears flooded her eyes.
It broke my heart every single time. So I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into me.
"Shh, it's alright, Ari."
But it really wasn't.
She broke into soft sobs as I crushed her against my chest; Mom gently stroked her back, trying to lend some comfort to the small Demon.
"I can't get her face out of my head," Ari whispered.
"I know." I breathed, feeling it all over again. "Ari, I'm leaving...."
She tensed, "Where are we going?"
I shook my head, "Just me; I want you to return to Hell and figure out the line of succession, put someone on the throne."
Her fingers dug into my shirt, "We have our King."
"Then consider this an order. Leave me here. I have business to attend to."
When she pulled back, the look on her face tugged on my soul, all heartbreak and betrayal.
"You're leaving me behind? To go after them?"
I nodded, not really meeting her gaze.
"It's the only way through this for me."
"And what am I supposed to do?"
My fingers glowed, and the portal resolved on the far wall.
"What I can't," I whispered, gently pushing her away and heading for the circle of pulsing red light, wards snapped to life all over my clothes, shielding me from anyone who came looking.
"Zack! Wait!-"
I stepped through the portal without so much as a look back.
*********************************************
Sometime later.
I finished the bottle and threw it against the wall... the sound of shattering glass felt good. I dug for a cigarette, lighting it with the energy that crackled around my hand.
I'd run from it, and I couldn't care what that meant. This dank little shithole in Colombia was my refuge. Mom, Jen, and Dad were somewhere, Ari too. We'd split up to keep the Trinity guessing. If they came for me, the girls wouldn't get caught in the crossfire.
And things were changing. Every day the news carried some new disaster with it. I could feel the Apocalypse coming, brushing the edges of my consciousness, a side effect of stepping into Lucy's shoes.
The only thing that kept me going was that Belial was still out there, magically obscured no matter how I ran myself into the ground trying to find him. The cigarette and my skin began to smoke as it burned down between my fingers. I flicked it away and lit another one.
It was time to go out.
*********************************************
The bar was lively, local music bumped out of the massive speakers, the DJ was on fire tonight. I passed a group of girls dancing and felt their eyes on me the whole way to the bar.
I ignored them, slid onto a stool.
And waited...
I'd have company soon enough.
The doors opened behind me, and the music died abruptly, the speakers giving out with a screech of static, cold diffusing throughout the room. I watched my breath turn the air to mist as I turned, taking in the newcomers.
Two Demons and an Angel stood in the entryway, staring me down.
"Took you long enough," I whispered.
The crowd seemed to feel the malice in the air, pressing themselves against the walls, anything to stay out of our way.
I moved first, flashing across the room and decking the Angel across the mouth, sending her flying into and through the wall in a shower of plaster and wood. The Demons pulled daggers, backing away with fear in their eyes.