The Devil in Her Eyes

"What?...Luce...Why did those Angels at the warehouse call me a Nephilim?"

Her head snapped up, something like fear blooming in her eyes.

"W...What did you just say?" "Lucy, the Seraphim called me "Nephilim," They even went out of their way to try and kill me the moment they got eyes on. What the fuck is going on here?"

Her eyes flashed again; this time, it was anger, not fear, that blazed there. Her hands shook by her sides. "What do you remember of your father?"

I didn't like remembering it; I was always thankful he hadn't lived to see everything I'd gone through.

"He died when I was sixteen, heart attack. He was a truck driver, on the road a lot... you know that... but he was human Lucy...Right? Luce, what does this mean? Was he really my dad?"

Anger flashed across her face, more intense than I'd seen yet, and I unconsciously took a step back from her rage as she growled.

"Get out and get dressed; we need to speak with Sandra immediately." Her tone and the dark look on her face brooked no argument. I hopped out of the shower, her magic flashed, and I was dry. I pulled on a pair of jeans from my go-bag, a t-shirt, and my battered Salomons followed.

Flashing light obscured Lucy for a moment when it cleared, she was fully dressed and heading out, she snapped and pointed out the door.

"Out."

The tone of her voice almost hurt; it was cold and detached; there was nothing there. I felt nothing from her, only cold rage.

I walked past her. I was out of my depth here; something was desperately wrong.

The walk to the room she'd prepared for Mom was spent in silence, but every Demon we passed stared, a few flinched like they could feel Lucy's barely contained anger and something else that tasted like ash in my mouth, the connection we had letting her bleed into me a little.

When we reached the door, she rapped on it hard; Mom opened up after a moment, smiling at first, her look morphing into utter confusion when she felt the vibe.

"Lucy, Zack, what's wrong?"

Luce breezed past her, pacing in the center of the room, small sparks of energy shooting off of her as she indicated the bed.

"Sit."

These snappy one-word commands were starting to piss me off, "Luce, quit barking orders and tell me what the fuck is going on..."

She rounded on me, getting right in my face, her eyes wild, baring her fangs as she growled. Energy flashed around her hands, menacingly.

"I said. Sit."

"And I said fuck yourself," I growled right back even as my heart broke a little.

"Guys, someone want to tell me what the fuck is going on?" Mom whispered, but I could hear the anger in her voice, the barely contained rage at Lucy's one-eighty.

Lucy never took her eyes off mine, "His father...who was he?"

"How does that have anything to do with anything? He's gone, Lucy, and whatever the hell this is right now, you need to take a breath and back away from my son."

I almost smiled, leave it to my mom to shit-talk the Devil to defend her kids.

We were still locked in the grand stare down, "They called him "Nephilim," a hybrid of an angel and a human. Am I to believe that you didn't know of this?"

Mom didn't even waver, stepping up next to me, "I have no idea what the fuck you're on about, now back off." And to my eternal surprise, Lucy stepped back, cautious relief on her face.

Holy shit.

"Sandra, if this is true, then he is of the Angels, and someone has gone to great pains to conceal it from me. There are few reasons for such a course of action, chief among them? To assail our forces from within." Mom looked shocked now, "Are you insinuating that my son is an Angel

spy?

Lucy's hands still shook at her sides, her burning red eyes boring through mine, "I am more than insinuating, I am outright accusing, maybe not you, but someone. And I will get to the bottom of this matter; there is no doubt of that."

I barely heard Ari until her hand landed on my shoulder; when I glanced back, all the playful joviality was gone.

"Zack...Mate, I think you should come with me."

I shrugged her hand off, "Ari, with respect, fuck off. I haven't done anything wrong, and I'm not leaving my mom alone until I find out what the fuck is happening here."

She looked at Lucy, waiting for orders.

Lucy glanced back and forth between Mom and me. Finally, she shook her head, and Ari relaxed a little, but I had the sneaking suspicion that she would have ended my shit in a heartbeat if Lucy said: "go."

Luce started pacing again, "There will be a reckoning, " she muttered.

I took a chance, my heart breaking in my chest; this was insane. Could she really believe I was here to hurt her?

"Lucy...What does all of this mean?"

The light came back on in her eyes as they snapped to mine, an almost mad light glinting behind them, something breaking there.

"It means that my Father has some questions to answer, and we're going to get those answers. Now. Ari? There is no lie in Sandra, but there is something in

him

that I am unable to read. Keep his family safe and confined; for now, I fear there is more at work here than we realized."

"Yes, Mistress." The contrast in Ari was shocking; her eyes were hard, all the mirth absent, and it shook me to my core.

Lucy began weaving a magic circle with her fingers. The symbols resolved into the same ones on the grenade Sybilla had shown me.

Enochian, the language of the Angels.

She grabbed my arm without a word, her grip tight and unyielding, almost painful, Mom reached for me, but Lucy pulled me into the circle. A flash of light and we were in a rosewood paneled room; a large desk sat in the center, stained glass windows led into a city beyond that I didn't recognize. Then again, I had other things on my mind. It took me a moment to realize that the room was empty, save for Lucy and me.

"Father!" Lucy called to the darkness, "Father! I need answers, and I have no time for games!"

Now I was fidgeting a little; if he answered her, I was about to meet God.

It kinda made me wish I'd worn a tie.

I had zero time to think before a bright light suffused throughout the room, a voice followed it a second later, and I almost dropped to my knees; the urge was unconscious and terrifying in its power.

"Lucifer, my daughter, the issue must be grave to bring you here. Speak, and I will answer." The light dimmed, revealing a greying man in a slate grey suit, light blue eyes radiated warmth, the ghost of stubble on his cheek, he might've been distinguished if it wasn't for the tremendous power that radiated from him.

While I was struggling to stay upright, Lucy crossed the room and got in his face.

"Father, my forces raided an encampment tonight; Zack was among the soldiers who took part. Traitor Seraphim confronted him; they called him "Nephilim," what is the meaning of this?"

Lucy was livid, glowing with anger. When she spoke next, her voice was laced with something that broke my heart and answered my question in one fell swoop.

Sadness, profound and heart-rending, I finally realized what was under her barely contained rage...it was the worst kind of heartbreak.

"Did you put him in my path? Is he here as your agent? Only you could have camouflaged his origin from me; only you would seek to wound me so grievously....ANSWER ME,

FATHER!

" She thundered, but I could hear the barely contained tears.

She couldn't have hurt me more if she'd wheeled around and slapped me in the face. All that love and trust evaporated in an instant; rage and betrayal replaced it.

God stood there, a small, sad smile on his face, a hand twitched at his side, almost like he wanted to reach for her, "Lucifer, I will not lie. No matter what has passed between us, you are still my child. I did conceal his parentage. But I did not set him upon you; he is not my agent."

He looked past her, directly into my eyes, and I shook in my boots, almost unable to move.

"Your father was of mine, an Archangel who broke Heaven's law and wed a human, he was recalled to Heaven to answer for his crime, and your Angelic heritage was sealed away, leaving you wholly human."

Something welled up inside me, hot and sharp and overwhelming.

I was pissed.

"So when my dad died, dropped from a heart attack in front of my mother? That was him "being recalled"...?

He nodded, "Yes."

"Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" I roared.

Lucy rounded on me, eyes wide as I roughly shoved her out of the way; I was sick of playing a game no one wanted me to win.

With fire in my eyes, murder flowing in my veins, and the runes on my arms shining evilly, I got in the face of the One that created me, created everything, and who could destroy me with a thought. I didn't care; all I could see was playing catch with my dad, listening to his bad jokes...When my first girlfriend dumped me, he hugged me and gave me my first beer.

All gone because of something I could barely understand.

"You took my dad from me, from my family, because he fell in love?! FUCK YOU! I SUFFERED SO MUCH; WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?!"

I was gone; it all came rushing out, every moment I'd laid in the dark and begged for help.

I screamed in the face of God until I tasted blood.

By the end of it, I was on my knees, tears of absolute rage, and sadness hitting the carpet.

He stood there and took it until my voice failed with a rasp, gently laying a hand on my shoulder, pulling me to my feet.

"Where were you?" I whispered, tasting iron.

His grip never wavered as he looked at me sadly, "I was with you all along, just as your father has been, watching over you every step of the way." "Why?..." "You required strength to do what must be done; there was no other way. Could you have done what you have until now, if not for the trials you faced? I am so sorry, my son, I can only ask that you forgive me... as I have forgiven you everything."

I shook in his grasp; I wanted to deck him in the fucking mouth, I wanted to burn him down for everything I'd seen and felt, all the pain and horror.

But he was right.

Could I have saved those people in Syria? Could I have driven on to take care of my family? The fighting spirit that kept me alive until Lucy could save me and beyond, would it have existed at all?

I had to suffer to survive. And he knew it, he knew it all along.

I shook harder, and tears poured down my face.

"It wasn't right."

"It rarely is my son, but it is always necessary. Are you satisfied, Lucifer?"

She must have nodded because God did the same.

"I will see you again, Zack, at the end of this."

A rumbling whine built until, with a flash, we were in the center of the staging area again. Demons stood around, weapons at the ready. I caught a flash of Ari, standing next to Mom and Jen, watching over them as she had since this shit started.

"Stand down. There is no threat here... save for me." Her voice carried an edge of bitterness and heartbreak that I could feel.

There's only so much a guy can take, and I hit my limit right there.

My dad was an Archangel. I had Angel blood running through my veins; the sheer absurdity of all of it was leveling me.

A gentle hand settled on my head, ruffling my hair a little. Lucy filled my vision, sliding to her knees in front of me. Tears slicked her face, intensifying when I flinched away from her; she pulled her hand back like she'd been burned.

The lights came back on, and all I felt was anger.

"Is that what I am to you, Luce? A threat? It took so little for you to turn on me, on my

family

. You didn't even know if it was true, they could've been trying to get under your skin, to divide us, and

you

let them."

Her face crumpled, and I could feel her all-consuming pain as she reached for me; The runes on my arm flashed, and I slapped her hand away; the loud

crack

drew every eye to us.

"Don't."

I pushed myself off the floor and left her there, sparing a glance back that she didn't deserve.

"I don't know why I thought I could ever really matter to you." I chuckled, a hollow sound absent of any humor, "Man, you really had me fooled, but I suppose that's what you are... A liar and a fucking monster."

I pushed past Ari, grabbing Mom and Jen, and heading back to our quarters.

Only once I was around the corner did I let the tears fall; we kept moving, I had to drop the bomb, and I didn't want to do it here. We pushed through the door into Mom's room, and I let it all go.

Somewhere outside, a horrible keening wail of pure agony rent the air, tearing through my soul like a knife.

Mom held me up as I cried. Jen stared at me as I came apart. I took a few heaving breaths, steadying myself as much as I could.

"Guys...Dad was an Angel. He didn't die; they called him back because of us; he broke the fucking rules." The sadness fled, and all-consuming anger replaced it.

Mom gasped, backing away, her hands covering her mouth.

Jen's eyes were wide, shocked, "Zack...What are you saying?"

"I'm saying Heaven took him from us because Angels don't fall in love with Humans. Dad did. He's still up there. Lucy didn't know because Heaven sealed it away, I've been human since I was born, but Jenny, you and I are half Archangel."

Mom was leaning against the wall, tears slipping quietly down her face, "I didn't know...Who told you all this?" She whispered.

"God..." I seethed; just because some part of me agreed with him didn't mean the urge to knock his teeth out wasn't still as strong as it had been.

Jen balked, "You met God, THE God?"

I nodded, growling a little, "I got some answers too, fucking...I called him out on everything." "He's alive..." Mom whispered, lost in her own little world.

The tears started a moment later; Mom broke first, Jen followed, I gathered my little family up in my arms and held them as all of our long-held pain flowed out onto that carpeted floor.

I don't know how much time passed; it could've been an hour or a day; I was trying to deal with everything, including and most troublingly, that empty feeling in my chest where my heart used to be; it was a feeling I hoped never to feel again.

The worst part? I could still feel her, her pain, and her sadness, lingering at the edges of my soul like barbs.

I was lying in my room, bits of Lucy all over the place when someone knocked. "Fuck it, why not?"

Taking my expletive for permission, the knob turned, and Ari walked in, flanked by Mom and Jen.

I came flying off the bed, "And just what the fuck do you want, Aradia? Come here to simp for that miserable bitc-?"

She slapped me so hard they felt it in Stuttgart. Barely contained anger in her eyes.

"Do you have any idea what it did to her, thinking that you were a spy? It wouldn't be the first time Heaven tried to get someone inside our ranks; what better way to hurt her than to show her what she's never had? Dangle it like a carrot and then use the stick to destroy her. She was wrong, and it's killing her inside, but you hurt her more than any plot ever could by rejecting her the way you did. If you want to ruin her, keep going. But by the realm I protect, I will not let you do it lightly, because of pride or ego." Her voice softened, "You are not a child, Zack, do not act like one now when it matters most. The error was on both sides, and the rift must be healed."

I spat blood on the carpeted floor, "She treated me like the enemy. Explain how it's my fault!"

"Can you blame her?"

Jen's voice shocked me; we always had each other's backs, no matter what. If she was taking Ari's side?

I might just be wrong.

"Zack, she's fighting a war against everyone; what could they do that would hurt her the most?"

....

Fuck.

I grimaced, knowing where this was headed, "Make her fall in love, make her vulnerable, and then pull the rug out from under her. Destroy her utterly by exploiting the one thing she's always secretly wanted, not to be alone anymore." I snatched a lamp off the end table and whipped it into the wall, "Fuck!"

Mom was next, stepping up and wrapping her arms around me, "She apologized to me and explained, she loves you so much, it hurt her so deeply to think that you might be a plant. Zacky, she was a mess. My opinion? You guys both fucked up, and you both need to step up and fix it."

I was about to answer when the door opened. Lucy stood on the other side; her eyes were flat and lifeless; even her hair looked dull. She stumbled into the room, brushing past everyone, and, shockingly, fell to her knees in front of me. Clutched in her hand was something wrapped in cloth; she laid it at my feet and gently unwrapped it with shaking hands, slowly revealing a blade that I recognized.

Gold hilted and ornate, runes crisscrossed the dark metal, and I instinctively flinched away from it.

Ari stepped forward, fear in her eyes, but Lucy stopped her with a raised hand; when she spoke, her voice was flat, like she was already dead. I felt waves of despair tearing through me, courtesy of our bond.

"I have committed a grave offense, an offense for which there is no other recompense but my very existence; I offer it to you willingly. I can no longer live without you by my side, and come what may; I care not. I only ask that my death come by the hand that I love and love dearly."

She looked up at me through tear-stained, vacant eyes.

"Will you do me the honor of being the last thing I ever see?" I stared at her in horror for a long second before I kicked the dagger across the room like I was going for a field goal, Lucy's eyes barely tracked it, but she reached for it all the same, desperate to end her life.

I grabbed her hands and pulled her into me, pressing my forehead to hers, tears running down my face. "No half measures with you, are there? I was wrong Luce, I was floored by everything, and I reacted without thinking about what it must've been like for you. Lucy, I get it now, I forgive you, and I love you so much it's killing me. Can you forgive me too?"

I could feel her shake, the beginnings of body-wracking tremors, her fingertips brushed my shoulders, the light slowly coming back on behind her eyes. Her fingers twisted into my shirt, and she

pulled

, pressing every part of her that would reach into me, molding against me so perfectly, it took my breath away.

No matter what, I was made for her, and she for me.

The tears came, rolling down her face.

"I-I'm...I'm so....I'm so sorry-" I kissed her; there were no words that were going to fix this; action would. She needed to know that I was still here and that I wasn't going anywhere. She melted into my lips, pulling me in tighter, tearing the fabric of my ratty t-shirt. I felt the heat from her; I felt the life come back.

I felt the love flowing through me like lightning. My soul was whole again. I kissed her back; her soft whimpering sobs broke my heart even as the closeness of her mended it.

"I love you," I whispered in between the collision of our mouths.

"I..." She dove back in, her tongue invading my mouth for one electrifying moment before she pulled back, "Love you..." Again she stole the breath from my lungs, "So much."

Somewhere, a million miles away, I heard Jen's voice.

"Hell of a first fight, huh?" "Right? Absolutely fucking mental." Whispered Ari.

Lucy pulled away, and I reached for her, desperate to have her close again. Her eyes were grave. "My love..." The words were sweet music to my ears, "I doubted you, called your love into question, treated you abysmally. Never again... On my honor as Queen of Hell." She looked up at Mom and Jen, "I can only beg for your forgiveness."

Mom smiled, shrugging, "Everybody has rough patches; I can't begin to understand what you've gone through or what goes on in your head. But I know how frightening this must have been to be so close to a good thing and almost lose it.