The Cat's Meow

The cat's meow, part 4

"I really thought you were going to search

bicycle porn

or whatever."

Alex grins. "I'm sure it exists. There is porn on pretty much anything. You wanna give it a go?"

Mimi shakes her head quickly. "No man, or you're never going to fix that bike!"

Alex surfs for a while. It takes some time, but he does find out that there is a difference between a

wheel

and a

tyre

. When a wheel isn't perfectly round, you can adjust it by screwing the

spokes

further in or out

the rim.

This will however not work when the wheel is bent at a ninety degree angle, as is the case with Mimi's bike. He needs a new wheel. That sucks because they're... what? The same price as a new bicycle? Jeez...

Since almost every part of the bike is busted, Alex goes through the same process again and again. Finding out what the parts are called, how you can fix or replace them and what that costs. Damn, bike research is tedious work. And speaking of research...

"Hey, so Mimi?"

"Mweow?"

"Are you okay to be on your own for a while? I need to do some more, em, looking bike stuff up. In the library."

Mimi looks surprised. "Em, sure? Is the internet not good enough?"

"Yeah, no. I mean great with the instruction videos and all, but I need like... in depth information. That is in books."

She shrugs. "Alright. I'll be here on the couch, doing absolutely nothing. Zip. Jack all."

She looks a little hesitant.

Alex tries to sound reassuring. "Nobody will get in while I'm gone..."

"Oh, I know." She taps her hind paw.

"Mimi, what is it?"

"How long will you be gone?"

It almost feels like she's going to admit to missing him. "Maybe, two to three hours? Research takes time, you know."

"And, em... Will you be okay not jerking off for so long?"

Alex hadn't thought about that. Going to the library for a few hours is a thing normal people do. He's never heard of people not making it through a library visit because of masturbation remission syndrome. But then again...

Mimi takes charge. "You're hesitating. You wanna do...left hand, right hand?"

"I can't believe we're still calling it that, but, yeah that would be great?"

_______________________

The librarian can't seem to hold it in any longer. After three consecutive days of throwing him curious looks she takes a seat next to Alex, right in his personal space. "I have two questions. One: are you doing this for love, and two, why are you in your pajamas?"

Alex looks down at his sweat pants. What is wrong with his look?

He has been telling Mimi that fixing her bike is dope complex and requires a lot of research in actual books, rather than online. She seemed to accept this explanation for his going to the library for three days in a row. To make himself feel a little better about the white lie he did start each of the days at the library looking up stuff about fixing bikes, not online but in actual books. Most of his time however is spent on an old fashioned machine. It's like, modern and techy looking, but in the way that doors in Star Wars disappear in the ceiling. Like, look this is modern and techy but serves no actual function. It has a sort of binocular thing, and you can see

every

newspaper, also the ones that only ever came out in paper form, of the last decades. It's a sort of microfilm. You move the newspapers around with a joystick. It's... vintage. It has no search options. The librarian is the one who helped him learn to operate the contraption.

She seems nice enough. She takes being a librarian seriously because she has these glasses that you can look through, but also over if you're going for that piercing effect. Also, there is knitting stuff on her desk and she has her hair in a bun. It seems to bother her that he didn't tell her what it is he is looking for. Apparently there is a natural end to

I just want to look around a bit

. Three days is what it takes for people to stop accepting this explanation. In normal time. This reminds Alex that he has been letting the Project slide somewhat.

"Owkay... so you're telling me that you have spent the last three days on my machine, which holds invaluable data for research, looking for information on

a thing

, with

a girl

and, wooo, here it comes, this is the one data selection point nobody thought of before,

a cat?"

The librarian really goes for the stern librarian cliché. Alex doesn't buy it though. This is a lady who would catch spiders live to put them outside instead of smashing them with a shoe.

He opens his mouth to say something, but she cuts in: "No, wait up, it can also be

a thing

, with

a girl,

but without

a cat.

Or the other way around. Care to explain?"

"I..." He really can't. "I'm sorry, but it's... sensitive?"

"The word sensitive should only be used in commercials for toiletry. If I didn't know any better I would think..."

Alex slowly blinks at the librarian while she tells him what she would think.

_________________________

Mimi is alone in Alex's flat. Oh wait. She has to train her cat mind sometimes, to prevent it from slipping too much into humanness. She means

her

flat of course, where the human that she has trained to feed her also lives. She hadn't really expected him to be gone researching bicycle stuff for three whole days. But then again, it's a good thing that he takes it seriously. That bike really needs some TLC and who knows, maybe there will be... other effects.

The first two times he was gone, Mimi did what cats do when they're home alone. Nothing. No. Thing. As you should, as a cat. But this time the thought got stuck in her head that since Alex isn't here to watch her, she could sneak around. To find secrets. Okay, the most likely candidate for a secret to find out about a guy is 'which porn does he watch?'. But since Mimi already has an in depth knowledge on Alex's porn preferences that one is out. She stalks around the flat. If the bike wouldn't be in the way you could stalk around it in about eleven paces. Now it takes thirteen. It doesn't take Mimi long to see everything there is to see that isn't locked. No secrets are revealed. Under his bed, a place Mimi will never visit again, are no piles of embarrassing magazines or childish legos. Only dirt and used napkins. For sperm, of course. So, nothing weird or unexpected. Still, her heart rate is up and there is this weird tension in her stomach. Like, what if she

did

find that he had a weird hobby, like knitting nazi flags or whatever?

Which brings Mimi back to the one place that

is

locked. The bottom drawer of the closet that holds his socks and underwear. There is probably nothing interesting in there, but it just seems to be mocking her. She crouches in front of it and tries a standard cat technique. Staring at it angrily and without blinking in the hope that this will lure the contents out, so she can strike them with her paw.

No luck.

Mimi opens the drawer above the locked one. The second one, so to speak. Annoying but true; this means that you could look into the bottom drawer from above it, but only if you can take the entire second drawer out. Which you can't. So now the second drawer blocks Mimi's view into the locked drawer. Ugh. Opening the drawer above that, the third one, doesn't solve anything either. This yields the same result, except higher. Which means you still can't see anything, but wouldn't have to crouch so low to be able to not see anything. This gives Mimi an idea. She opens the second and third drawer and empties the third one out. Which, incidentally, holds his boxershorts. There is a going through your sister's panty drawer crossdresser joke in there somewhere, but Mimi is too excited to bother.

Mimi is

quite

flexible. A lot more flexible than most humans. Eat this, furniture designer. She sticks her head inside drawer number three and pushes herself forward...

Oops, boobs too big. She now has to grab both her boobs and deposit them both

inside Alex's underwear drawer

, which incidentally fills the entire drawer, them being, em, large. And this all means she can now get her nose just over the back end of that drawer...

Arms are in the way. Bottom of drawer number four is in the way. Ears get stuck between drawer four and three...

After several tries Mimi has found a working order that ends up with her head and one arm behind drawer three, her boobs in drawer three, one arm outside to operate drawer four and a line of sight into drawer one.

As it turns out, Mimi's boobs have

excellent

light blocking capabilities. And that on top of them being so sexy. Of course, cats have great night vision, but for going through someone's stuff in near perfect darkness they still lack that last bit of punch.

Fuck this. Mimi is on a mission and nothing will stand in her way. Not even a lack of...

Aha! The flashlight! After a messy exit and a very structured re-entry Mimi now has two arms, one holding a flashlight, and her head in the confines of Alex's closet. She can shine her flashlight into drawer number one and see what's in there.

Bingo! The drawer is chock full of papers, pictures and children's stuff. For instance, a little box with teeth in it. Yuk. Here, in the light of Alex's own, em, flashlight, his secret and hopefully embarrassing history will be brought to, em, light! In a flash. Jeez Mimi, that one needs improvement.

There is old school stuff. A diploma. Oh, and apparently Alex can swim... Being able to read is a good thing. Here are some letters with official stuff on it, boring...

Mimi's bent over position is not the most comfortable for snooping. Haha, this must be Alex and his brother, Dan. They look so young! Oh, and these are... those must be his parents. Who are dead. Right. Mimi stares at the faces for a while. She has no idea if she herself ever had parents. Owners, yes. But no parents, at least, that she knows of. So, she doesn't know what it's like to lose them either. But Alex does. He's still hurting. Mimi knows this, but Alex doesn't know that she knows. It's his breathing. It's so loud, that every hitch, held breath and soft sigh is obvious to her. She can hear his heartbeat most of the time. His emotions are no secret to Mimi. He has so much of them too. At first look he seems impassive, but there is a lot going on under the surface. Mostly sex related, but still.

A picture shows the whole family of four. They look happy. Alex was a cute kid.

And here is a picture of his school class. A younger Alex is in the picture, surrounded by boys of his age. They have their arms around each other and laugh about something. A group of boisterous school boys, with Alex right in the middle. The girls in the picture look a little annoyed.

All of a sudden it's too confined there. Too stuffy. Too many pictures of happy humans, too many old friends that, as it turns out, Alex has, and parents that he no longer has. Mimi pulls her head out of... em. Oh no.

With both of her arms inside of the closet, drawer four has lodged itself stuck between Mimi's shoulder blades and her head, and drawer two is stuck, no, hang on. It's drawer three that is stuck...

Sigh. Everything is stuck. Mimi has lost count of only four drawers. She will never become an accountant, which is bad. Even worse is the fact that she is hopelessly stuck with her head in the closet. When Alex comes home she will be super busted for snooping and going through his private stuff. And she has to rely on him to get her out. Also, how long until he gets back?

This is going to take a while. Cats are very patient creatures, but waiting for hours standing up, bent downward with your head and arms in a drawer could get uncomfortable. Maybe she should start reading that boring looking official thingy right here.

______________________________________________________

Alex takes the stairs two steps at a time. He really wants to tell Mimi about his conversation with the librarian, but he kind of gets it if Mimi is apprehensive. She is scared of people and, let's face it, she has a point. He opens the door. That's weird. Yesterday and the day before she came to nuzzle his legs immediately. Like a... cat, so to speak. That she is of course. But not now, where is she? Luckily his place is so small that he finds out almost immediately that she has not fled out of the window. Instead she is, em...

Wow. That is one fine ass. Fuck, that tail never ceases to turn him on. Oh wait no, he means, that is one lady in dire need of help. And why is his underwear on the bed? Where is the top half of his cat? It's all very confusing.

Alex takes one step closer to Mimi's butt, that is naked, fucking hot, and sticking out of a closet. The closer he gets, the more it hits him that that gorgeous tushy is at perfect dick height... and helplessly stuck...

Alex's hand automatically reaches out to grab that booty, but he holds back at the last moment. This is the ultimate test of character! He must be strong and not take advantage! He can't help sneaking a look at those sweet pussy lips though. Do they look a little moist or is that his imagination?

"Mimi?"

"Hmwwm!"

Her head appears to be... there. But something is blocking the sound of her voice.

"Hhmwamamw hmwmwm, pwm dwm dw pawamanmmm!"

Alex gets on his knees and presses his ear against the side of the closet. "Come again?"

Now he can hear her talking in there. "Anonymous burglar, please don't take advantage of this defenseless damsel in distress!"

Oh! Em, right... Alex really wants to take advantage. And, it would seem that this is a roleplay, so... that makes it okay, right? He talks back to the side of the closet. "Mimi, it's me, Alex."

"Don't ruin it! You're a stranger who is going to shamelessly grab my helpless ass and stick your co... oh fuck."

She wiggles her legs. There is a hissing sound. And... oh yep, that is a bit of pee.

"I consent! Dammit, I'm into it. Just... mwmwm."

Alex stands up. She consents. Fuck. Fuck Fuck. He looks at her butt, sticking out of his closet. So helpless, and needy. Her pussy, open, wet, inviting... It looks like it really needs his cock. He can almost feel what it would be like, to just whip his dick out and stick it in there. In the helplessly stuck booty without a face attached to it... that however belongs to Mimi. He wants to, he really wants to... Alex's fingers start sliding his pants down.

He pulls his hands back and kneels beside the closet again. "Mimi! I kinda don't want to!"

A sound like a racecar driving by comes from the closet. "Mwroaarh!"

Alex starts getting Mimi out of there. It takes them at least ten minutes to perform a sort of reverse Tetris. Except life size and the blocks can feel pain and can't hear the player's commands half the time. It doesn't help that the player is incredibly nervous, because... when she's free they will probably... right? I mean, she consented. And she peed a little, which in Mimi's case means she's horny...

Finally the last part of Alex's cat is removed from the drawer.

"Phew!"

"Yeah, phew! Great team work though, especially with the boobs, haha."

Mimi raises her paw. Oh, a high five. Alex raises his hand to meet hers mid air. At the last moment she doesn't high five him though, but with a smack she sinks her claws right in his upper arm.

"Ow! What the fuck?!"

Mimi hisses at him. "Stupid human!" She scowls and cries at the same time. "I know I'm just a silly cat, and I know... no don't interrupt me! I know you didn't choose for me to be here and you're stuck with me... haha, that was a good one. But I know one thing about myself that I'm sure of. I am sexy. I am fucking sexy!"

Alex nods furiously, but Mimi just presses on. "You were supposed to look at my sexy ass and be unable to help yourself and fuck me! You knew I wanted you to, I consented! And then you're supposed to say 'Oh Mimi, I'm so glad you came through my window, I will never let you go again! Let me scratch your ears! How the fuck do you jerk off to anything that moves, but you don't want to fuck me? And... I dunno why, but ever since I live here my pussy just really wants your cock! Like come on! What does a cat have to do to get laid around here!?"

Alex is so out of his depth. He's never had a girlfriend, or sister. He basically doesn't know any women except Franceska, his sister in law and he has never talked to her about craving cock.

"But... I do want to, em, make love to you!"

Mimi drops her head. "Sure. Then why do you back out at the last minute?" As if to herself, she mutters "Stupid."

Alex doesn't know where to start. How is it that he, of all people, is accused of not wanting to fuck? He was just trying to be...

"No I swear, I saw you little round butt, with your pretty pussy and I really wanted to stick my dick in there!" Mimi glares at him from under her bushy eyebrows. "It's just... I wanted to be respectful, and it was going to be our first time and... I..."

Yes Alex, and what?

"I just... want it to be special. Just the way it would if you were my... girlfriend, you know?"

She cocks her head to the side.

"I mean, if I couldn't see your face when we do it for the first time it wouldn't be, you know, romantic?" Somehow Alex feels he is not getting his point across.

"You mean like,

girlfriend experience POV?"

"No! Or, well. Maybe?"

Mimi still looks unsure. "So you

do

want to fuck me, but we have to call it

making love?"

"Of course I want to! It... I just..."

"And it has to be

as if

I'm your, like, human girlfriend?" Her tears have stopped.

"I, em...

as if?

Yeah, that would..."

Mimi takes a step forward, so that they touch from top to toe. "I also need to... sorta... perspective... em, can I try something?"

Alex makes a throaty noise. Shit. He nods."

She holds eye contact. Fuck, she's just so incredibly close. Alex's mind always scrambles a bit when she's so close he can feel her breathing. "Alex... This is going to be our first time, and it's super meaningful and romantic. Listen..." Mimi puts her mouth right next to Alex's ear and whispers: "I love you Alex."

Alex's eyes go wide. "You... love me?"

"Oh yes." A grin that could both be naughty and apologetic flashes over her face. "I'm a cat, you're my owner. Of course I love you."

"I..." Alex throws his arms in the air. That's not what he meant!

"Just..." Mimi gestures for him to have some patience and hear her out. It occurs to Alex that just over a week ago her non verbal communication, and her facial expressions were a complete mystery to him. Now he can read her like a book. "...understand that I'm not your like, human girlfriend, that you bring flowers on Valentine's day. I love you the way cats love people. And not

as if.

I mean for real. You're all woke and diversity friendly and all! Who are you to say the love of a cat for her owner is less than your human type of love?"

She takes a tiny step back. He instantly misses the touch. She crosses her arms. That does not look very catlike at all and draws attention away from her meaningful speech and to her boobs.

"So Alex, here's the deal. You want to think of me

as if

I'm your girlfriend and of yourself

as if

you're my boyfriend. Human style. But what I need is something else. I'm not your girlfriend. I'm not even a girl!"

Mimi seems to cross a sort of threshold. "I'm... your pet. You give me a toy on national pet day, and you're my b..."

Alex waves his hands defensively. "Whohoo, wait up, I'm not your boss! You're not my pet!"

Mimi looks devastated. "I'm not? But I did everything right!? I lie on your legs, tear up the mail, I even left a dead sparrow in your shoe yesterday!" She starts to cry, again. "You're throwing me out? But you said you weren't going to do that! Oh no! You're gonna put me in a bag with a couple of bricks and drop me in the canal..."