/ /
Author's Note
: This story, Terrible Company, is sprawling sword-and-sorcery fantasy satire with a diverse cast of characters. Over its many chapters, those characters will have interactions (both with each other and others) that cross many of the lines that exist between Lit genres. I have come to believe that breaking the story into those different categories, as best I can, is the best way to expose the most readers to parts of the story they might dig, and that they might then be encouraged to read on.
Each chapter is written as a self-contained episode, and although there are running gags that continue through the series that enrich the experience, they shouldn't prevent one from starting anywhere in the series (including the final chapter) and enjoying it for what it is.
This chapter features:
Val</a>, the female Orc Warrior/Fighter
">Katsa</a>, the female Human Arcanist
Enjoy!//
The sun dominated above. Even the shadows wilted under the oppression of the day star as it reached its zenith over the fields surrounding Aedor. The cool breeze, coming down from the mountains to the north, brought small relief from the stifling heat. The worst of the long summer months were behind, but that was no balm for the adventurer. She grimaced, brushing sweat from her brow as she looked out upon the parched grasslands.
The road was empty for now, but that was how she liked it. Too many people had failed her over the years, leaving her jaded and trust in short supply. No, the Orc was a loner, through and through.
Maybe this road would be the one she'd been searching for. Maybe, at the end of this stretch of dirt where the grass refused to grow, at the end of another long, tiring walk, she would find the answers she sought. Maybe they were even the answers she needed.
Small for an Orc at a mere six foot five, she was nevertheless a vision of muscle and beauty. Her arms were as thick as braided dock rope. Her legs, even thicker, like rounded slabs. She had a hard look about her underneath her shaggy black hair. Scars adorned her toned body like badges of honor. She had the look of a woman who'd seen the very face of hell, only to claw her way back.
"Stop describing me."
She said, to no one in particular.
"You're being very over-dramatic."
"It breaks the fourth wall if you address me directly," the Narrator whined.
"There
is
no fourth wall," Val growled, sweeping her arms out. "There's no walls at all! We're on a dirt road between two open fields."
"It's a meta
phorical
wall," he said, rolling his eyes.
"I
told
you I'm not paying you for this."
The white-haired man smiled as he bowed. "My good woman, to have the chance to follow you and bear witness to your exploits is all I ask."
"Wasn't planning on having any exploits," she said, her features hardening.
"Adventures then?" he asked hopefully. "Perhaps a grand quest or two?"
"None of them either," Val grunted.
"Surely a woman of your stature and bearing invites a... a... a host! Yes! A veritable
host
of downtrodden in need of the skills you so clearly possess!"
"I tell them the same thing I told you," she said, shrugging. "No." Val came to a stop and rounded on the man. "What exactly do you get out of this again?"
"I believe this is the future of entertainment. Cutting-edge storytelling and performance art. Part Minstrel, part Bard—"
"Nope," Val interrupted, shaking her head. "Stopping you right there. No Bards. Fucking hate Bards."
The Narrator gasped. "You wound me, Madam!" he cried.
"Not yet I haven't." The old man swallowed hard as Val loomed over him. "You take one more step after me down this road, and I'll break your nose. I ever see you again, I'll break your leg. Clear?"
"As crystal," he said weakly.
Val glared at him a moment longer before turning back down the road. The old man had been a minor annoyance at best, and she mentally flogged herself for letting him get to her so easily. Her frustration had other sources. When she looked back over her shoulder, the road behind her was empty.
"Like braided rope, huh?" she mumbled to herself, twisting her bared arms and nodding thoughtfully. "I can see how that might work for some people."
***
"Three more," Val said. "They were pretty bare leads, and I didn't expect anything from them." The breeze was barely noticeable at the ground level, but it set the treetops swaying. "I'm not sure if that makes it self-fulfilling or not, but I did find someone thought they might have seen the—"
Val's attention sharpened at the sound of a twig snapping ahead of her. Despite the obvious wear on the path she hadn't seen anyone for hours; not since she scared off the old man earlier.
The sound had been distant. Outwardly, Val continued as she had before; a comfortable pace that wouldn't break any records. On the inside, though, she was a coiled spring. Nearly a full minute passed before the offending twigbreaker came into view over a little hill ahead of her. The wiry young man seemed nearly as surprised as she to encounter anyone, but the similarity in their reactions ended there. As they neared each other, the young man became increasingly nervous, going so far as to step off the path and into the low brush to put distance between them. His hand hovered over the handle of the dagger on his hip as they passed each other, and Val sighed to herself as she continued on down the road.
***
Val rounded the bend warily, smelling the thick smoke before she saw the campfire. A human, judging by the size, crouched by the flames, their face lost in the flickering shadows of a heavy hood. Val put her arms down at her sides, safely away from her weapons, and forced a warm smile.
"
Evening
," she called, waving. The hooded figure looked up and froze. The light dancing off their eyes was the only visible feature within the shadow. Val had wanted to wait for some sign of approval before approaching but the figure just watched her impassively. "I hadn't seen any good spots in the last couple hours to stop for the night, and I doubt I'll find one as good as this for a couple more."
The human stood, revealing a lithe, feminine shape, and she pulled back her cowl. Short, spiky blond hair surrounded a narrow face, and the set of her eyebrows gave her a look of unamused surprise. "I didn't prepare for two," the woman said, as Val got closer, "but you're welcome to stay." It took Val a moment to see that the other woman had been talking about food, and she shook her head.
"I've got my own." Val tapped the small pouch on the side of her hip as she unshouldered her pack. "You headed to Aedor?"
The blonde narrowed her eyes as she squatted down in front of her pot.
"Reason I ask is because I didn't see any fresh tracks heading my way, so I figure you're probably heading where I just came from."
"No," the woman said cautiously. "I'm headed to Jonehn, but I'm coming up from the south. That is the road to Jonehn, right?"
Val nodded knowingly. "Most maps make it look like that's an easy shortcut."
"Short nothing," the woman scowled, her lips twisting. "I think I've spent two more days taking this '
direct route
' than I would have going all the way around the Southmarsh."
"I'm Val," she offered.
"Katsa," the woman replied, nodding slightly.
Val nodded again, and pulled a piece of jerked venison from her hip pouch. They sat in comfortable silence for several minutes. The constant tinkling of the stream nearby competed with the small fire and the bubbling stew, and Val tried to remember if she'd ever met a Human who'd been so casual on the first encounter. Katsa wore black fingerless gloves with blue trimming that extended to the elbow, and Val took note of the symbols embroidered along its length.
"So what's waiting for you in Jonehn?" she asked.
Again, Katsa regarded her with a wary expression. "I was hired to do a job."
Val waited for a moment to see if the blonde would offer more, but she did not. "I expect that I'm the first person you've seen in a week, course you took getting through the mountains."
Katsa nodded slowly in response.
"Well, I won't be the only one you see tonight. Passed a young man a few hours ago who's circling around with his buddies to rob us, maybe kill us,
aaaand
almost certainly rape us."
"How... how could you know that?"
"I've seen a few things," Val confessed. "He was young, but he'd seen combat. His hands were shakin' so bad at being a few feet from an Orc that he'd have done more damage to himself if it came to drawing, but he knew how to step through brush without lookin' at his feet. One was a conscious cover, and the other was not."
"And that means he wants to rape us?"
"Likely, he was sizing me up," she commented, shaking her head in amusement. "If he'd been feeling bold and I was a bit smaller, I think he'd have tried to take me then and there. As it is, he's probably tracking me now with four or five of his buddies." She took another bite of her venison, and smiled as she chewed.
"Come on," Katsa said, dubiously. "You can't know that."
"A group of five or six is most common," Val nodded. "Gives you overwhelming numerical superiority so the target don't fight back, but you also don't gotta split your haul a thousand ways."
"And with five or six armed men coming this way, you... sit down and have a bite to eat?"
Val gave a toothy grin and pointed. "Those runes on your gloves there mark you as an Arcanist." It wasn't a question.
"Yes," Katsa replied, her back stiffening slightly. "Why?"
Val shrugged. "That kinda thing comes in handy in a pinch." She took another bite and looked around their campsite.
***
"There," said the first bandit, pointing emphatically. "There! Didja see that mouse? It found a bit o' food and bam, out of nowhere, hawk just flew down like a lightning bolt and carried the silly bugger off. That's what you call irony that is."
"Nah, mate," said the other one. "That hawk couldn't carry no mouse made of metal."
"
Iro-knee
, you twit. It's like a coincidence." The first bandit slowly withdrew his sword as they crept along.
The other one, sword already in hand, stepped up to a large tree trunk, and peaked around the side of it. "A what?"
"Gods you're dumb," the first one scoffed, shaking his head in wonder. "You could move to a troll town and
still
be the village idiot."
"I never heard of no trolls livin' in villages."
The first bandit cuffed the second on the back of the head. "That's not the point!" The second bandit grimaced and nodded forward, and then continued on through the underbrush. "Look, a coincidence is like... your best mate skippin' town just before your birthday. So it's like yay, it's my birthday, but also bad. You see?"
"Now I'm lost."
"That's their campfire right there," said the first bandit incredulously. They stopped and stared at each other quizzically for a moment. "Anyway, like, you want a loaf of bread but you don't have any money. Then you find a bit o' copper only to find out the baker is
giving
the bread away. That there is irony."
"Why is 'e giving bread away? Is something wrong with it?"
