Finn disappeared into the library after she finished. She needed space and Carter had a lot to consider. She didn't want to sway his choice because she was biased. She curled up on the old leather sofa to enjoy the smells of her childhood. Perhaps one last time. She didn't sleep. She simply laid there, to stare vacantly at the crackling fire.
To her quiet astonishment, Tom entered the room. He pulled a chair over while he grabbed a random book off one of the tables. He propped his legs up on the arms of the couch. He began to read quietly. No words were spoken. After some time, he cleared his throat. Finn scrunched her eyes together and waited for his painful words.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
After a moment, "... I mean, I guess? It's... it's been a rough last few weeks." She responded slowly, "or years..."
He closed the book, laid it on the floor, and cast his eyes to the fire. "I remember when we'd all spend too much time here reading. When we were young."
"Those are some of my favourite memories," she replied airily, for a second lost in thought.
"Mine too. For a while I thought I was going to ask you to be my mate," he admitted.
"What?" Finn asked as she bolted upright in surprise. Tom had been a friend when they were younger but mostly, she had assumed, because Atticus was his close friend. Atticus spent most of his time with Arthur and Lea which happened to include Finn. She never guessed that Tom had ever had romantic feelings towards her.
"You never let anyone push you around. You were always reading. I liked the discarded cups of tea and coffee left in your wake, all over the house. I liked spending time with you, even if we rarely did it alone. You protected the weak without a thought to yourself, even when they weren't kind to you. Before I met Wendy, I was trying to work up the courage to tell you."
She had never considered him as a potential mate, though she never considered having a partner to begin with. "I told Atticus," Tom continued. "I wanted his blessing. He was Arthur's best friend, well, after you. If he approved, I figured Art wouldn't have any objections to me asking you."
"...Wait," she said. She didn't want to hear more. An uncomfortable feeling began to grow in her stomach.
"This was two days before he demanded you be his mate in front of the entire pack." His eyes were wet. "If I hadn't brought it up, if I had kept my damn feelings to myself... None of this would have happened. And I have been awful to you since because I didn't want to admit my own fault."
Finn stood up. Tom pulled his legs off the sofa, readying himself for what he expected to come next. Pain. Maybe death. They were both a little shocked when she hugged him. "Thank you for telling me," she said quietly and held him a bit closer. He returned her embrace, wrapping his arms around her back. She pulled away after a moment, righting herself.
"You couldn't have predicted what Atticus would do. He was your friend and you were trying to confide in him. I understand," she said. For the first time in thirty four years, some of the pain that she carried in her heart ebbed. She forgave him, not that she truly thought he needed any forgiveness. And she began the path to forgiving herself. "And if it matters, I forgive you."
When the words left her lips, his head fell into his hands. Tears fell through his fingers. His body rocked as he sobbed, letting out the pain he had carried for so long. Finn placed a hand on his head as comfort and tried her hand at levity, "you made the right choice with Wendy, my friend. I've had Rachel's coffee and it's excellent." Tom continued to cry but Finn could tell he was also trying not to laugh.
(2)
Finn and Tom spent the rest of the morning catching up, the tension between them broken. Tom informed her of Wendy's passing from cancer a few years ago. They chatted about the pack and the ways their worlds had changed. He teased her about living with the council, the most sullen werewolf surrounded by flatterers. They joked and laughed. It felt like when they had been young again. The ease of it, like an old sweater. Soothing. It felt like they were a pack again. They shook hands when it was time to part, to place the past firmly behind them.
As Tom turned to go, he returned his gaze to Finn, "you should stay, when this is all over. With us. With Carter."
"What about Emma?" Finn asked quietly. She feared breaking their newly repaired friendship with the reality of his daughter.
"He was never going to choose her to be our Luna. I tried to explain that to her. She's young and in love but in time, she will move on and find her fated mate. We all have had heartbreak in our lives and all it did was strengthen our bonds," he smiled and left the library.
