Tdeh

Finn's skin tingled as she walked through the portal, like the light kiss of morning dew in the spring. She shook out her whole body, allowing the shiver to reach her toes. Droplets of water flew from her form. The portal closed immediately. She howled in anger at the sky.

"Darling!" cried Eutus, his fingers were tightly pressed into the railing of the upper landing above the terrace, his body hanging precariously far over the barrier. He had a cup of coffee in hand, waving it dramatically to get her attention. His dark blue velvet robe fluttered in the morning breeze along with his exaggerated movements. She could see the steam rising from his black cup and could smell the lovely aroma as the wind carried it to her nose. His eyes gleamed as he smirked at her, surprised she hadn't called to ask him to create the portal home. He had never seen Finn use magics but was not surprised to see the blood falling from her.

"Darling," he called to her again, "your arm!"

She looked down. Her arm actively weeped her vital fluid but it was less than a few minutes ago. She felt no ill effects from the blood loss. She would heal eventually, she shrugged.

"Darling!" Eutus called out again in his lyrical voice. He was dying to know how her reunion went with her former pack. He was also dying to have gossip to spread amongst the vampires, who would be so upset they slept through her return.

"Darrrrl...." He began once again.

"If you call me 'darling' one more fucking time, I will eat your heart, Eutus. I fucking swear," she screamed out in rage to silence him. "If you have one," she finished darkly. Her distorted voice harshly punctuated the morning's quiet.

Eutus began to walk down the stone staircase into the back garden, towards Finn. She was boiling. Oh, he whispered to himself in delight, I bet it went very sour indeed. He tried to suppress his smile and moved towards the hybrid. He was going to be so popular tonight. "If you're hungry, I can make breakfast! Well, 'I' won't make it, but the chiefs do such a lovely job! I am sure we can find a heart or two, if you have a craving," his smile cracked his face in two, the bright whites of his teeth shone in the light. As he placed his slippered foot on the grass, she growled at him a warning and bolted towards her burrow.

He frowned as he saw her disappear underground. Disappointed.

(2)

If Finn was good at anything it was sleeping. She went to her burrow. Her self imposed prison. She had spent much of the last thirty four years punishing herself, sleeping in the dirt was simply a part of that. The darkness and wet earth smell were a comfort to her now. She could see perfectly fine, never needing light. Privacy was all she craved.

She kicked the loose ground into the opening, blocking out the sun. She cried out in anguish, smashing her large hands into the ground. Pounding them into the dirt until it was moist with her blood and she could see the whites of her knuckle bones protruding from her torn skin. She wanted her physical body to hurt as much as she did emotionally. To have something to focus on. It didn't help. She gave up. She curled into as tight a ball as she could manage in her large form. She whimpered, trying to bring sound to her hurt. She closed her eyes and focused on the smells of the ground around her. Her body shrank from its transformed size. She wept as the bones pulled and snapped back into their human position. She shook as the adrenaline worked its way out of her system. It quieted her mind enough, the exhaustion, to let her slip away into sleep.

(3)

Carter stepped out of the passenger side of his father's old pickup a week and a half after meeting his mate. He had not tested their bond. He felt it. A thing half made that was painful to focus on but there nonetheless. He looked at the grounds that were her home.The circular driveway of the council's house was beautiful. Manicured hedges lined the titled road. The mansion, or possibly a castle, took up a huge amount of land. Statues were visible surrounding the building, old men and women he couldn't place. It was early evening and the sun was just beginning to set over the grounds. The air smelt crisp after three days in a truck with his father.

He was still so angry. Angry at his Alpha and the pack from keeping the past from him. He was angry at his mother and uncle. Angry at Finn for leaving. Angry at her for pushing him away. He needed to look her in the eyes, to tell her why he was angry. To tell her what this had done to him. To reject her face to face, something she had been unable or unwilling to give him in the end. He tried to push memory of the moment he felt her rejection from his mind, his heart was still sore. And that hurt made him angrier.

"Arthur Ironblood, as I live and breathe!"

Arthur and his son both looked to see a richly dressed man walk out of the large entrance doors to greet them. A few staff members quietly followed behind him, ready for his commands. There appeared to be a gaggle of onlookers in the house, peaking at them with interest. Carter heard some giggles emanating from hidden faces.

"Hello Merlin," Art said without enthusiasm. Obeus Augustus was old but his physical form did not show it. Enchanters had unnaturally long-life spans, which explained to Carter how Finn could look younger than himself but be the same age as his father. The ether kept them young, as it did for the other species. "I am so glad I sent Fionn with that invitation to our gathering! It has been far too long since your pack has graced our halls. Except Fionn, of course," he chuckled, his long black hair in a braid swayed as he laughed. Carter bristled at this. It felt wrong for the Merlin to be so nonchalant about his mate. The Merlin seemed to be trying to be inviting and friendly, but Carter was in no mood.

Obeus stopped in front of Carter, looking up at him with his brown eyes. Carter had never met any of the council before. They rarely came to the packhouse. The Ironblood pack rarely left their home forest. Most members had only been away a night or two. School trips to the city. He had gone away to university when he was young, alone, but homesickness and isolation had cut his studies short.

"Dear heart, is this your son? My, my, he is handsome. Takes after you, of course!" Obeus smiled, his teeth sparkling in the fading sunlight. Wizards were known for their flattery. Did he feel that way? Or was Finn's deep prejudice seeping through their half made bond?

Arthur walked around the truck and took the Merlin's hand, shaking it. "Good to see you, Master Augustus," trying to mimic the wizard's flattery. "We brought some spirits from our brewery for the council as a gift," He said.

"How divine," the Merlin said.

"Is Finn here?" Carter asked abruptly, his eyes scanning the few faces he could.

Arthur and Obeus looked at him, a mysterious smile in the Merlin's eyes. "Oh! Darling one, I believe so. Though I haven't seen her. She's rather moody these days. Well, most days. I believe Eutus was conversing with her recently," Obeus twisted his neck and bellowed, "EUTUS."

A young man with green eyes darted from the group at the door and quickly appeared at the Merlin's side. "Merlin, how may I serve you?" he asked.

"Take Carter to Fionn's room," he said without any of the flattery he had used with the Ironbloods. His voice screamed authority.

"But..." Eutus was about to start when the Merlin shot him a look. He gulped and cleared his throat, "this way handsome." Eutus grabbed Carter's arm and pulled him towards the entrance. Carter looked at his father who nodded and left him standing with the Merlin outside.

The inside of the council manor was splendid. Tapestries, stone and porcelain busts of humans and creatures Carter didn't know littered all the available wall space. He stared around in awe but ensured his mouth did not hang open. Eutus dispersed the gathered crowd with a single look, bodies disappeared into doors with giggles and the faint murmuring of voices. Different perfumes and odors hit his nose. Revulsion grew in his stomach as all those smells intermingled with his senses. He felt the urge to retch rising but he refused to give in. He coughed once, wiping his nose and looked at his guide.

With a flourish of his hand in the general direction, they set off. They walked for a while, Eutus telling him all the history of the house as well as its current and former inhabitants. Carter took in the plush carpeted stairs, the richly decorated walls. Tables and chairs were scattered about everywhere, detritus of their former inhabitants staining their surfaces. When he stopped, he was standing at a large dark wooden door, 'F.H.' in intricate letters etched into it.

"This is her room," Eutus said. "Though she doesn't sleep here."

"I'll wait for her here, if I'm allowed," Carter replied.

"Of course, dearest, I would never wish to keep you apart from your love," Eutus hummed. A wicked smile on his lips.He touched the handle of her door and it opened. "Enjoy."

Carter growled at him as Eutus disappeared down the hall, his faint giggles echoed behind him. Had she said something?

Carter walked into Finn's room. As he shut the door, he heard a small click as it latched. He gazed around. It was a good-sized bedroom. A large canopy bed stood in the middle of the back wall. One of the two windows was open a crack, the expensive looking curtains were tidied out of the way. Everything was clean and tended. The room was sparsely decorated. It didn't smell like her. Carter sighed.

He opened the wardrobe, expecting to find it empty. Inside were some black clothes, crammed in without a care. There was also a book, it was large and smelled old. A Comprehensive Genealogy of the Council's Members was engraved into the leather cover, a silver scrawl. It looked worn, he wondered why she kept this as what appeared to be her only possession other than some unused clothes.

Carter pulled out a large black t-shirt and brought it to his face, inhaling deeply. This smelled of her. He held it at his nose, basking in her lingering scent. "Where are you?" he asked, reaching out with their half bond. If he had been able to mark her in return, he would have known where she was. But she was silent. Either unable to hear him or unwilling to respond. He tried again, "Finn, I'm here. Where are you?" And nothing. He lingered a moment, running his fingers over the book's old cover.

He tried a final time, "mate?" but she still did not reply. He sighed angrily. He knew she was close; he could feel that much. Defeated, he sat down on the edge of her bed. He lifted her shirt to his nose once again and breathed in.

"If you do not fucking answer me, I will find you the old fashioned way," the fabric still at his nose.

Her eyes didn't open. His words were like glass pushing through her mind. Stars exploded as she held fast, hissing out in pain. She did not move, other than to clench herself tighter into a ball. She had laid there in her den for days, hoping for death. She hadn't eaten. Sadly, she had thought to herself, less than two weeks was nowhere near enough for salvation. Trying to rip out her own throat wasn't enough to kill her either, she had tried that one before. Death would be easier, wouldn't it? Death certainly couldn't hurt this much. She knew where she was going, to the hells of the gods she cursed. It was an odd comfort, knowing her damnation would bring reprieve from her own self torment. Why had he even bothered to come? He could just say the words. Why was he dragging it out? She had laid in the dark expecting to feel the pain. "Just do it," she screamed out, the wait unbearable.

(4)

Carter bolted off of her bed. He let her shirt fall to the ground as he pulled his pants and socks off. He hopped towards the door, one sock dangled on his foot. He gripped the bottom of his shirt with one hand and pulled it off deftly, dropping it with his other discarded items. He shifted into his wolf form, howling loudly. The sound of it echoed through the halls. Doors began to open as interested parties peaked out from behind them.

Carter ran through the halls, winding his way through the confusing maze until he found a set of doors to the outer grounds. Choosing speed, he crashed through the glass. He skidded to a stop, disturbing the perfectly manicured grass. He paused only long enough to smell the air, searching for her. He ran as fast as his paws would take him, running the grounds as his nose searched the air.

He smelled her, finally. Faintly. She was under the dirt. He circled the garden shed, noticing the newer earth. In his wolf form, he dug at the entrance of the den. Bits of earth flew out in all directions behind him. He wiggled his large body into the hole, dirt fell into his fur. Once he was fully in, he sat at the opening to ensure she couldn't run. It took only a moment for his eyes to adjust to the complete darkness. She was naked, about five feet from him. She looked broken. Her eyes were red, her skin seemed loose around her bones. She was a large woman who seemed shrunken. He was taken aback. He quickly shifted back into his human form and reached out for her. "Finn?"

"Just say it and leave," she said quietly. She looked as though she was waiting to be slapped.

Carter shuffled on his knees to her, stopping arms length away. "Just say it," she repeated. She cast her glaze down into the dirt.

He reached out his hand and touched her scalp. Her new growth was prickly and tickled his fingertips. He ran his hand down her face, realizing she was crying when they came back wet. He was unsure what to do. "My dad explained..." he started softly, trying to find some words to sooth her. His wolf cried in his head, wanting to console their mate. He attempted to cup her pale cheek with his outstretched hand.

She jerked towards him, movement so quick he was startled. Her hands gripped on each side of his face so he couldn't look anywhere other than her. She pressed her fingers painfully into his skin as she drew her face to his.

"What did your father tell you, hmmm? That I killed your mother and uncle? Did he clarify that I murdered one of the only people who ever loved me? Who gave a single shit if I lived or died? Who only wanted me to mate her brother. Was that so wrong? I murdered them for it. I tore our pack apart. I am a monster. Did he explain all of that? That my birth was an abomination and I should have been culled? Because if he didn't, he should have," her eyes were wild. "Did he tell you that I did all of that and still fucked you? Without telling you who I was? What I was? Allowing you to think you'd found your mate, when this is just another part of the punishment for my existence from the gods I have spent my life cursing?" She pushed him away, towards the opening.

"Reject me, Carter. Be done. Leave. Don't look back," she trailed off, nothing left to say. He didn't move. He just stared at her. He listened to their breathing. Their smells began to intermingle in the enclosed air. She still smelt right. She was still his mate. His. "No," he stated without emotion, surprising both of them.

"No," he said again, this time with emotion rising in his voice, and lunged at her. Taking Finn off guard, he landed roughly on top of her. His body pinned her back into the dirt. He squeezed her arms. The air was knocked from her lungs.

"NO!" He screamed in her face and kissed her savagely. Their teeth clacked together painfully, Finn's newly restored breath caught in her throat. "What...?" she began. Carter pushed her down harder, kissing her more, his hands digging painfully into the skin of her arms. Her back felt the tiny rocks and roots that made up the floor of her den. She felt some piercing her flesh as he held her down. He shoved his tongue into her mouth, just to taste her. He pushed his torso into her chest more, forcing the air from her lungs again. He was growling when he said "No. Mine," a final time. He pressed his lips into hers again, urgently.

Carter wiggled his torso down while holding her and pushed her legs apart with his knee, resting on her. "You are mine," he said darkly. His manhood was hard.

Her head swum. His aroma filled her nostrils, overpowering her reason. His kiss hurt, she tasted metallic. She was unsure whose blood it was. It was exhilarating. She kissed him back, grunting, her tongue flicked roughly against his. Inviting him in. She felt his cock pressing torturously against her hip. She began to wiggle her lower half to position him properly.

Their eyes met, each breathing heavily, expectantly. The moment their lips touched again, Carter thrust his hips forward and shoved his cock all the way into Finn. She cried out, not prepared, flinching from him. He paused and let out an inmate sigh, resisting the urge to sink into her more. He felt her clench around him and then, after another breath, relax. He slowly began to thrust himself in and out of her, the hesitance lessening.

"Fuck..." Carter moaned into her mouth.

Finn grunted as she began to move with him, grinding herself into his pelvis. "Oh gods," he groaned into her collar bone, running his teeth over her skin. He released her arms, his right hand grabbing her scalp and pulled her into his mouth. Their tongues caressed before they both began moaning again. She folded her arms around his neck, running her fingers roughly through his long, loose hair, "Carter...."

She wrapped her legs around his waist. Her head fell back as she whimpered as he plunged deeply into her, eyes closed. Carter seized his moment. He cried out her name as he bit down on her shoulder painfully and marked her as his. He pushed his teeth into her skin, reaching for her bone. He would ensure no body modification could cover it, something permanent. Her blood filled his mouth as he moaned into her flesh and thrust his cock into her harder. Finn cried out, and pushed herself more urgently against him. Her orgasm racked her whole body. She tried to push away, the sensation overwhelming, but he held her fast.

Carter continued to ram into her, breathing heavily and groaning. It took him only another minute to finish. As he climaxed, he grabbed her hips and pushed himself harder into her, his mouth still clamped around her shoulder. She was his. He stayed pressed into her until his pleasure faded and felt his cum begin to drip down between them into the dirt.

She lay beneath him, trying to feel her toes. She knew she couldn't stand, her knees wouldn't hold her weight. She hissed out when he finally pulled his teeth from her flesh. Neither of them spoke. Their mating bond bloomed.