Finn shook her head violently and scrunched her eyes closed painfully tight, trying to push the memory away with the motion. She hadn't died but she wished, many times, she had. It had led her to a dark place. Arthur and the pack had made sure she healed. Her mother figure, Anna, her main caregiver. Nursing her back to health took months, the emotional pain stopping her body from healing. When she was able to stand and defend herself, she left. They did not ask her too; she simply couldn't live with the pack anymore. They would never forgive her, not truly. She would certainly never forgive herself. She couldn't watch the little boy grow, having murdered his mother. Arthur had asked her to stay, holding his son as he did. He had been her friend for so long. Her brother. They had grown together. Hunted together. Defended one another. Leandra and Atticus had been a part of that family and Finn had taken it away. She couldn't stay. She had destroyed them.
She stood shivering by the lake. She wasn't cold. Adrenaline was coursing through her and she was unable to stop herself. She wasn't sure how long she stood there. Eventually the double doors of the packhouse opened and an imposing figure of a man stepped out onto the porch.
"Can I help you stranger?" A strong voice call. A voice of authority. A voice she knew. With a quiet sigh, Finn opened her eyes and looked at her oldest friend. His face was blank, no inkling of who she was. Curious faces peaked out from behind him, pressed to the glass.
Arthur Ironblood had aged in the years since she had seen him. Still tall, still muscled, still rugged. His light brown hair was now deeply peppered with gray. He had grown a beard which was also mostly gray. His olive skin still looked healthy. His blue grey eyes reminded Finn of a storm at sea. She walked to Arthur and tentatively put out a hand, feeling very unsure.
"Hi, Art. Uh, it's been a long time..." She trailed off as her courage retreated. She stood hunched inward, feeling subconscious. Her eyes darted to the many that stared at her. The light breeze shifted and pushed her scent to Arthur's nose.
He looked a bit befuddled. His hard eyes softened almost immediately when he caught her scent. He took one large step forward, enveloping her into a tight bear hug. The kind he was famous for. Friendly and warm, Art wanted everyone to feel loved and welcomed in his pack.
Finn pushed Arthur off, smiling as she did and clasped him on the back. "Hello, friend. It has been a long time. I must say, you've changed."
Bodies of the other pack members began to file in and out of the house while they spoke, eying the newcomer with apprehension, continuing their daily activities. They respected their Alpha enough to only allow themselves a few seconds to stare before hurrying off.
"It's been what? 30 years?" He asked her, a hint of sadness in his voice.
"34," she replied.
Arthur looked at his friend, his sister. She was still as strong and as tall as he remembered her but her skin had once been a soft tanned colour, kissed by the sun. Though the majority of her skin was now deeply tattooed and riddled with scars, the parts that did show were pale. Her black hair was gone, replaced by a straw yellow colour mixed with pastels. His heart hurt seeing her. She reminded him of the pain that caused their parting and the hurt of missing her for so long.
"You should have stayed..." Art began when he noticed a man approaching them. Finn looked up.
He was as tall as Arthur, around 6'1. He had the same light brown hair, missing the gray. His hair almost to his shoulders with the underside shaved, he had pulled the long hair into a ponytail. His face was cleanly shaven, and he was smiling warmly. A hint of a joke on his lips full lips. He wore a loose gray shirt with blue jeans and basic trainers. His skin was the same lovely olive colour as Arthur's. What caught Finn's notice was the eyes. She knew those eyes. She knew him. She had known his mother. They were not the stormy eyes of Arthur but the light brown, speckled with yellow of Leandra. Finn breathed out his name "Carter..."
Carter looked hesitant as his eyes settled on Finn. She was about as tall as Arthur. Her dark eyes looked black rather than brown, even in the waning daylight. Her hair was many different colours, pink, yellow, blue? It all appears to be washed out, pulled into a scruffy bun. She had a large scar on her face. Her light skin seemed a little gray, like she had recently been ill or did not spend much time in the sun. She was clothed head to toe in black; black joggers and a knitted black jumper but she wasn't wearing shoes. Her neck was fully tattooed. In the sun, it looked as though they were meant to cover scars. Nasty ones. The light caught the edges of the healed flesh, making the deep indentations even more noticeable. Like claws had ripped at her throat. Or teeth. She had a hard look to her. But she smelled heavenly. The breeze and her aroma were what drew him to them.
"And who are you?" he purred, pulling on the charm that came so easily to the Ironbloods. "Are you one of the potentials? Are you from a neighbouring pack? I'm Carter, Carter..." he trailed off as he saw a look of abject horror appear on her face. "What?" he asked quietly. Unsure of himself. A feeling he was not used to.
Arthur pulled Finn away from his son gently, a hint of fear rising in his stomach. He trusted her still but time changes people. He wanted to believe she was the same inside.
"My heart, this is my and your mother's old friend, Finn." Arthur smiled. He moved his hand from her arm and clasped Finn on the shoulders. Both to introduce her to the young man and to ensure he could hold her from him if needed. Finn looked lost. The horror on her face disappeared into what could only be described as grief. Carter was perplexed. How could this young woman have been friends with his mother? And what was that smell?
"Finn? That name seems familiar, but I can't place it..." He pondered for a moment before continuing on. "Also, nice try, dad. But she isn't in her 60's, obviously. Which pack are you from? Perhaps you are my chosen mate? I know! I know, todays supposed to play out in a specific way, ceremony and all," Carter smiled brightly, it lit up his face pleasantly. He knew today he would be mated. It was the last thing needed before he took the Alpha status from his aging father. This woman seemed strong, her body held the marks of a warrior. She was pretty, despite the pale skin and hard eyes. She could be a good mate and Luna. A good partner.
What took Carter aback was how quickly his father was able to step between the two of them, pushing him off the steps of the porch. The rocks painfully dug into his hands as he connected with the ground. A small yip releasing from his lips with surprise. The sound a wounded pup would make. His father had never done anything like that to him before, like acting aggressively. It was very strange and gave him an uneasy feeling in his chest. He looked up at Arthur and the woman he was protecting. The only thing that made sense was she was to be his father's mate and his father was being protective. But she was too young. Arthur would be 65 this year. He had never shown interest in any other women, except an omega here and there on special nights. It didn't make sense.
Finn watched it all unfold like she was watching a movie. A spectator in her own life. When Carter had uttered the word 'mate' Arthur had felt her tense. She was stronger than him. Stronger than all of them. Carter was all he had left of his wife. He stepped in between them before Finn even knew she had become rigid, before he even had a second to process. Arthur had pushed Carter, hoping if Finn lashed out, she would get him and not his son. She felt Arthur shaking, almost imperceptible. It wasn't anger; it was fear. He was afraid she'd kill Carter like she killed Atticus all those years ago. And Leandra.
After a moment, Finn reached out and touched Arthur's shoulder, gently pushing him aside. His breathing was quick as he looked at her with apologetic eyes. She bent down and held out her hand to Carter. "It's nice to see you again, Carter. The last time I saw you, you were just a pup". She easily pulled him to his feet, seeing the surprise on his face made her almost smile. The corners of her mouth held a hint of amusement. Her strength was something Carter hadn't expected. "I am just stopping by quickly to pass along a message from the Council for yourself and your father. An invitation. I won't be staying. I hope that whoever gets the pleasure of being your mate tonight understands how lucky they are." She smiled. He was a nice boy who deserved a nice life. As nice a life as one can have having their mother splintered out from it.
Pup? She chastised herself. He was, what, thirty seven now? Time was a construct to her. Meaningless. She watched the world age around her, painfully aware of how it continued on without her. Carter and Arthur were both staring at her. She couldn't meet their looks and stared out at the lake, longing for days long past.
"Carter, love, I'm sorry. Would you mind helping the pack inside? We were just catching up," Arthur looked apologetically at his son. Wishing with his whole heart to explain he was who he was protecting, not Finn. How could he tell him? What would that do to him? The pups didn't know what happened all those years ago. Most of the officers from that time had died. War, battle, mating rights gone wrong, as well as disagreements with males from other packs. Thomas and Dartanion were one of the last of the old guard though Dart was no longer living on the Ironblood lands. He had forbidden the pack from telling the story of Finn, Leandra and Atticus to the pups. Telling Carter would just reignite the hate Finn wanted to avoid. She had chosen exile. Arthur had to respect her wishes.
Carter said nothing, his face showing the hurt he felt, reddening around the collar of his shirt. He looked at Finn and then his father, brushing off the dirt from his jeans as he stood. He nodded and walked past them, inside.
Never taking her eyes off the lake, Finn quietly said "I wouldn't hurt him, Art."
Arthur felt his heart breaking at her words. Of course, she wouldn't hurt Carter. She had held Leandra's hand as she had brought the babe into this world but the fear was still there. He used to believe she could never have hurt Leandra or Atticus. The circumstances of that were enough for Arthur to fully forgive Fionn. She had always expressed that she would never mate. Never pass on her lineage to another. She was happy to be an officer and protect the pack. She had all the family she needed. Leandra and Atticus had pushed it. And it had broken Finn. It had broken them all.
"You could stay," Art started. He wanted her to stay. He wanted her to see the good that was his pack. Their pack. That she was welcome. That she was home, finally. The look in her eyes told him that she felt uncomfortable, exposed. "Just for the choosing," he added quickly. "There are two packs coming in, hoping to join us through their daughter's union to Carter," he tried to sound both cheerful and hopeful. "Old friends amongst them! Wrick is coming. He occasionally gives me updates on you when he has a chance."
She wanted nothing more than to stay. She wanted to belong. He had said he forgave her and offered her a place at his side but she hadn't believed him. Finn continued to stare off at the lake, quietly thinking. Arthur let her. Finally, very softly she said "Compromise? I'll come back tonight, when everything is finished. We could have a beer by the lake like we used to."
It was enough for Art, "I'll take it!" he grabbed Finn in another hug, pulling her off the ground with her arms pinned to her side, swinging her gently. He laughed and she smiled.
(2)
Finn quickly twisted out of Art's grasp and walked to the edge of the lake, letting the water lap at her toes once again. The cool feeling was energizing. She had spent a lot of her youth in this very lake. She stayed only a moment. When the sounds of the others began to intensify, she turned and walked into the woods, knowing the trees and their scents like another sense. She walked lazily through the Ironblood forest, her bare feet used to the dense underbrush. The twigs and leaves momentarily tickled her skin but she walked mostly ignoring those sensations. When the light started to fade, hidden by the tree canopy, Finn slowed even more.
