I scanned the bar. It was cozy, but somehow I felt even more out of place than if I was in one of the buzzing nightclubs. A few of the men at the bar looked up towards me and smiled. I heard the rush of the wind behind me and a huff of breath. "God, it's freakin' cold out there."
I turned my gaze from the many eyes and peeked around at my friend as she unraveled the scarf from around her neck. She glanced up at me like I had offended her, "what'd I say?"
"Nothing. I just don't want to be here." I ran my hand through my brown hair and tossed it behind my shoulder. The men, mostly older, and looking as if they had grown up as lumberjacks and construction workers, seemed to have their interest piqued by us. Obviously girls were not commonly seen in this establishment.
"You said after I was done with my book signing we could come out and have a drink. Get out instead of being stuck in that hotel." Anna whined a little. I knew I had been difficult of late. The constant nagging that we were always being watched had made me nervous to even be outside of the hotel room. Even in the hotel room, I had the nagging feeling that the walls had eyes and we were being watched somehow on the fifth story.
"I know and that's why we're here." I agreed. I spotted a table in the corner of the room, and with eyes zeroed in on that spot, ignored the stares.
Anna, my blond, forever friend sighed as she tried to keep pace. "Are you worried still?"
She didn't exactly believe we were being watched. I mean, why should she? We were in Portland, Oregon one of the most crime free cities in America. It was a rather large city, so it wasn't unlikely that outsiders would be amidst the locals. There was nothing uncommon with our appearance: we dressed like regular small town girls and our complexion was fair against the always-blustery wind. We were hardly flashy or exotic looking. The only strange thing was that we always seemed to pick restaurants and bars where everyone knew each other. Besides the fact that Anna didn't believe my nonsense anxiety, she never ignored it or attempted to make me feel foolish.
"A bit." I sat down and slid my black coat from my shoulders. It slid behind me and offered a bit more cushion to my back.
"There's no one scary in here." She whispered. I stifled my smile and the urge to mention the lumberjacks ogling us, but thought better of it.
"I know. I'm fine. Now let's just have some fun." I forced a smile, which wasn't quite so difficult. I wanted to have some fun just as much as she did. Fear had pulled me to this bar. It was closest to our hotel, besides the one in the lobby, and I felt a bit more comfortable closer to our sanctuary than driving further away.
Anxiety had always been a problem in my life, but it was hardly ever an issue once we had gone on vacation and got to our destination, but for some reason fear was crippling me more than usual.
At the multitude of book signings, events, and sightseeing we had done since getting into Portland, I felt the urge to crawl back under my blankets every day. The world seemed dark, as my senses zeroed around me, attempting to find what was bothAnnag me. Nothing was ever there, nothing ever jumped out at me.
We would be leaving in a few days and my body relaxed at just the thought of leaving this peaceful and terrifying city.
I looked across the table at Anna who smiled up at the waiter as he bustled in front of us with a wine list and a listing of their most popular cocktails. "I'll have the Sunset Cosmopolitan."
I glanced over the list of cocktails and spotted the one drink that sounded good to me, "I'll have the Volcanic Thunder."
We normally never drank, but we had heard so much about the cocktails in Portland, that our curiosity got the better of us and forced us back onto the streets and into this small den. The walls were paneled with wood, and the lights slightly dimmed, but around me, I felt my senses growing acutely aware of the eyes on me again.
As if feeling the same thing on her back, Anna uneasily turned in the same direction my eyes shot to. "Oh my God." She let out an exasperated sigh.
I too felt the same reaction, but was more relieved to know that this time, I was not insane. Across the room, in another corner sat three men. Quickly my eyes burned over each one. The first was undeniably a "beefcake". His hair was dark blond and slightly curled, but cropped short. Under his gray Henley were rippling muscles that even the thermal material couldn't hide. His top two buttons were undone, and offering a view at an extremely sculpted collarbone. His smile was bright and wide and showed off a perfect row of teeth. He was obviously laughing at something one of the other two men had said, but his eyes were smoldering in our direction.
The second man was pale, with cheeks stained with red. His eyes, maybe blue, were trained on me particularly. He barely smiled, but seemed to be playing with a coy curl with the corner of his lips. His golden hair was disheveled and looked as if he had been running his hands through it. His body was slender but covered with a blue and black flannel shirt, obviously fighting the cold weather as much as Anna and I were. Just peeking from underneath the collar was a black undershirt, meant to be a second layer for warmth, not to be seen. His lips were full and slightly flushed from the intake of alcohol.
The third man... I paused and glanced between the two men whose eyes still remained fixed on our table. There was a third man there. Wasn't there? When my eyes settled over the chair where the third man had been sitting, there was no one there, not even a glass for his drink. I broke my eyes away from where another man should be and glanced at Anna who was obviously amused by my blatant staring.
"Were there three of them there?" I asked quickly.
"What?" She seemed confused.
"I swear there were three guys sitting at that table." I looked back, but still only the two men remained, the disheveled man still staring happily.
"Yeah there were." She paused and my attention was brought back to her. Her brow furrowed as she thought, "but I thought I was imagining it." She turned back around to glance at the guys. She lifted her hand to wave, but stopped before it made it far from the tabletop. "Must've been a trick with the lights." She assured herself more than me. But she had to have been right.
She turned back to me as the waiter brought us our drinks. She let out a nervous giggle as she slid the straw between her lips. "Are these the two that have been following us?" I shrugged, still unable to process what I had just seen, "We could only be so lucky. They're hot!" She nearly squealed and then contained herself back into her drink.
Both men had looked away and were deep in conversation when my eyes fixed back to them. I finally relaxed, having the feeling of someone watching finally off of my shoulders. I took a long drag from the pineapple and cherry drink. It cooled my now burning throat. The one glanced at me from the corner of his eyes, and the painted red on his cheeks began to brush deeper down to his jaw line. His eyes darted back to his companion faster than they had looked at me.
"They are really good looking." I barely made audible. Anna smiled and peeked back over her shoulder.
"Stop that. They'll see." I urged her. I almost hoped they would see, but we were hardly their types.
I glanced back over the disheveled one. I never knew a lumberjack could be quite so tempting. I was suddenly having a greater appreciation for the great outdoors and any tree that that man would throw his body against.
"Hey, how come you can keep looking?" Anna was almost euphoric, giggling.
"Because they can't tell I'm staring." I reminded her. She smirked and took another glance over her shoulder. This time the beefcake caught her looking and grinned.
"Did he just smile at me?" She giggled again, her sanity on the brink. I was a little surprised, Mr. Beef wasn't her type, really, but anyone would be dazzled by that smile.
Before I could answer her, I noticed the beefcake motion to the waiter. The waiter looked in our direction and nodded, heading back towards the bar.
I scrunched my eyes, willing my ears to hear from this distance. I suddenly felt burning on the back of my ears as if I was being watched again. I turned to see that there was a window directly behind my back. The wind whipped trees and bushes around, but still, no one was there.
"Excuse me. The gentlemen over at the far table wanted me to bring you a couple of more drinks," He stopped and set two more drinks down in front of us. Both Anna and I turned our gaze to where the two men sat, watching with raised eyebrows and smiles curling their lips. "And they wanted to know if they could join you?"
Anna's head whipped towards me, her mouth dropped open and eyes wide. "Thank you." I smiled back to the waiter, who obviously was uncomfortable with what they had asked him to do. Yes, many girls did not come in here.
