This story is dedicated to my fellow lit enthusiasts on a certain Discord server. You know who you are.
***
Stacey sat at the hotel bar, stirring her frothed milk drink absent-mindedly. It had only been fifteen minutes and she was already bored, waiting for her date to arrive. She surveyed the dimly-lit room, but his dark, rotund figure was nowhere in sight. Over by the far wall was a Chips Ahoy deep in conversation with an average-looking brunette, while at the pool table a Nutter Butter was chatting up a busty blonde who looked more interested in creaming him at pool than creaming his dick.
Stacey sighed and checked her phone again; only another two minutes had gone by. She tapped the bar impatiently with her fingernails. "Come on, where are you?" she muttered under her breath. Oreos were known for being popular, and she hoped he his schedule wasn't double-stuffed. She needed her sugar fix.
It had been six months since a multidimensional experiment gone awry had accidentally turned all the cookies in the world into sentient men. Worse, each new cookie that was created also turned sentient, though without the giant size or, more importantly, the organs necessary to allow humans to enjoy their delicious bodies without hurting them.
Since then, the living cookies had started a brisk trade in exchanging their sweet services for money. It hadn't taken long for specialized motels and love hotels to open up, but even swankier hotels like the one Stacey was sitting in were accommodating enough. Ever the planner, she'd chosen this location for its proximity to her office, which she would return to for an all-nighter after getting her fix.
There was no sugar high like the one that a sentient cookie man could give you, and it would fuel her for twelve hours at the least. Even before the Cookie Accident, as people called it, Stacey had always turned to cookies as her favorite snack. Not the healthiest, but what was a few bags of 100-calorie mini bites between workaholics? And now, after the Accident, she craved the decadent release of cookie men. She had to meet up with one at least once a week. And Oreos had always been her favorite.
She learned down toward her drink, sipping on the hot, frothy milk. It had become a habit since she'd started meeting up with cookie men, since they naturally liked milks of all kinds. This one tasted like plain oat milk, which wasn't her favorite, but it was the only thing the upscale place had on tap, and she didn't want to pay extra for a tiny carton of dairy or soy milk. In any case, her brain had started to associate milk with her weekly dates, and now even a small taste was enough to get her excited.
Stacey looked out at the entrance again, wondering if she should start scrolling Cookr for a backup date.
But no, there he was - round and slim, wearing a collared shirt and slacks held up by suspenders. He scanned the bar and she waved to him, and he broke into a wide smile, white cream contrasting with the chocolate biscuit of his skin.
He ambled over to her and held out a hand. "Nice to meet you, Stacey. I'm Chad."
She held his hand loosely, not wanting to crumble him. "Glad you could make it tonight," she said.
