Somali Vampire Detective

Greetings, dear reader. The name is Mohammed Ismail, but you can call me Mo, since everyone else does. Or rather, everyone did. In the eyes of the world, I died on November 17, 2009, at the age of twenty one. I was a third-year student at the University of Ottawa, in the civil engineering department. My parents, Hodan and Ahmed Ismail, couldn't be prouder of me. We're those Somali Canadians you don't hear about. The educated, hard-working and law-abiding type. We lived in a nice house in the Orleans suburb of Ottawa, Ontario. All was well until I died. The problem is, I didn't stay dead.

You hear a lot of talk about Vampires these days, with movies like Twilight in the back of people's minds. Well, as a new Vampire, I am here to clear up certain misconceptions. I became a Vampire not because I got attacked by some fanged dude or a monstrous bat-like creature but because a homeless dude barfed all over me. Well, it turns out the old homeless dude was a Vampire, and he infected me. The infection killed me, and seventy two hours later it reanimated me as what I am today.

The life of a Vampire isn't glamorous, angst-filled fun like what you've seen on Twilight or Buffy The Vampire Slayer. A lot of what you think you know about Vampire life is simply wrong. There's nothing supernatural about Vampires. We exist because of a virus, one that's highly infectious and lethal, like Ebola or the AIDs virus. The Vampire virus gets into your bloodstream, and alters your cells, and then transforms them. The average Vampire is five and a half times stronger and faster than the average Olympic athlete. The virus has some unusual properties, that's for damn sure.

I am still adjusting to life as a Vampire, and I've been in this game for more than half a decade now. I haven't aged a day since I became a Vampire. If you were to look at me you'd see a five-foot-eleven, slim, brown-skinned young man with curly Black hair and brown eyes. I look the same but believe me when I tell you I've changed. My heart no longer beats. I have to drink blood to live, but it doesn't have to be human blood. Animal blood works just as fine. I do odd jobs to stay above water, so to speak.

There's a lot of danger in this seemingly mundane world of ours. When my family moved to the City of Ottawa from our hometown of Mogadishu, Somalia, I thought this was the most boring town ever. Well, when I became a Vampire, and severed all ties with the mortal world, I discovered a whole new universe. I am a fighter. Always have been. I don't give up easily. I didn't do that as a mortal and I see no reason to start now that I am one of the undead. Vampires aren't the only predators out there. I discovered this almost at the cost of my existence.

A few months ago, on a hot summer night, I went to Mooney's Bay, the only worthwhile beach in the City of Ottawa. I have fond memories of that place. My parents and I used to go there when I was little. Yes, Somalis go to the beach too. Just because we're Muslim doesn't we're all uptight and stuff. I went to the beach that night because I like to wade around in the cool waters without having to worry about burning to a crisp thanks to the sun's lethal rays. That's one part of the Vampire myth that people get right. The light of the sun will set me on fire, and kill me. That's why I only come out at night.

There I was, skinny dipping and enjoying myself, when I heard some decidedly feminine squeals. A bunch of ( presumably ) White chicks in bikinis got out of a car and raced toward the water. I was about a hundred meters from the shore and I guess since it was dark, they didn't see me. The gals went into the water, hollering and making noise like only White chicks can. I resisted the urge to go closer and take a look at these bikini clad bodies.

Hey, I'm undead, not dead, alright? I gave up on the idea since this is nighttime in the City of Ottawa, and Vampire or not, I'm still a young Black dude. Wouldn't want these nice White girls to poop themselves because I approached them in the dark, you know? Nope, I figured I'd enjoy my swim, relax, and then get back to my lair before the crack of dawn. Well, something happened. I saw something emerge out of the water, something huge and man-like. The thing waded into the shallow waters, and made a beeline for the White chicks who were frolicking in the surf.

Since I became a Vampire, I've seen a lot of strange things. I have met other Vampires, and they're people of every race, ethnicity and religion you can think of. I was raised Muslim, but since I feel uneasy whenever I'm within a hundred meters of a mosque, church, synagogue or cemetery, I no longer follow the faith. I've met Nigerians, Arabs, Chinese, Turks, and others, who sport fangs and drink blood while living by night like I do. I stay away from them because the Vampire community isn't exactly welcoming to newcomers like myself. Why do you think there aren't a lot of Vampires? They have a nasty habit of killing each other over nonsense, just like people do. Anyhow, back to what I was saying. I've seen some weird stuff since I joined Club Undead, but that creature at Mooney's Bay took the damn cake.

I watched as the man-like creature made its way toward the unsuspecting women, like something out of a B-movie horror flick. Soon I heard screams, and not the happy kind. Drawn as much by curiosity as anything else, I came closer. Being a Vampire grants me exceptional night vision, and I saw the creature as it held a struggling blonde chick in its arms, then sank its teeth into her neck. The blonde gal stopped struggling, and the monster dropped her and then went after the others. I had seen enough and decided to intervene.

By the time I got there, the creature had another gal in its grip, a terrified young Black woman in a bikini, and was about to bite her when it sensed me. The monster then it turned around, and I saw its face. Huge, muscular and vaguely reptilian, the creature, whose head was decidedly serpentine, looked at me through baleful yellow eyes. Baring its fangs, it let go terrified Black chick go and roared out a challenge. I answered with a roar of my own, and the creature tossed aside the second chick like a rag doll, then faced me.

Undaunted by the creature's appearance and obvious ferocity, I faced it. The monster sniffed the air, and looked at me curiously. I launched myself at it, and we grappled furiously for a few moments. The monster sank its teeth into my shoulder, and in retaliation I bit it on the neck. Instantly it let go, then struck me viciously. I cried out in pain, but instead of finishing me, the creature let me go and then waded into the surf. It vanished beneath the waves, just like that.

I returned to shore, and the young women eyed me with panic in their eyes. I saw their friend floating and went after her. I caught her in my arms and brought her back to shore. As the young women looked on, I tried to give the wounded gal mouth to mouth, but quickly realized I couldn't because as a Vampire I do not breathe. Looking at the young Black woman, I motioned for her to come closer, and she finally got the hint and began administering to her friend. The other gal grabbed her phone and called the cops, and I took that as my cue to leave. In the eyes of the world, I'm a dead man. I truly wanted to help these ladies, but I didn't want to be sitting in a police station, answering cops questions in the daytime.

I returned to my lair, located in the basement of an abandoned building in Vanier, about half an hour before the first rays of dawn touched the sky. Typically, like most Vampires, I sleep like a rock during the day. I couldn't fall asleep, though. I kept thinking about the creature from Mooney's Bay. This monster is unlike anything I've seen before. I hope these chicks from the beach are alright. I would have made sure they were alright but I was really pressed for time.

Tonight, I will return to the beach and investigate. What happened at Mooney's Bay wasn't right and I am not letting it go. I'm going to hit up the few contacts I've made in the Vampire underworld and see what I can dig up on the creature. Someone out there has got to know what that thing is, and how to beat it. First, though, I must get some rest.

Typically, Vampires heal quickly but the injuries I sustained while battling the aquatic creature on Mooney's Bay are healing very slowly. I wonder if there are Vampire doctors out there I could look up. Probably not. Wish me luck, though. I am going after this aquatic humanoid creature with everything I've got. For justice, for revenge, for the sake of them girls, and mostly, because it had the nerve to disturb a Somali brother's late night swim. Wish me luck. This means war.