Malika
," Bane growled.
"You mean ma'am," I snapped. I wanted to bludgeon myself. See, Peaches got killed because she's stupid and people can
easily
manipulate her.
The kid's lips twitched in what I hoped was a suppressed smile and not a frown. I'd take being the butt of the party if my blood stayed in my body. I would strip naked and dance around like an idiot if I could walk out of here with the same cell count I'd walked in with.
Red eyes cocked his head and smiled at me. "You're Bane's wife?"
Oh, damn! Bane had declared me his wife. Well, that protected me at least, right? "Yes! Yup! I'm his wife, he's my husband. And you can't kill me, right?"
That was the important thing here: not dying again. I would be Bane's servant, his strumpet, his freaking dog for all I cared. I'd take my life over my pride every day of the week. There were few cases where I wouldn't do that, but getting eaten by a teen in an underground nightclub where people threw up in front of you wasn't one of those cases.
"To be Bane's wife"—red eyes asked carefully—"you do understand what that means, don't you?"
Bane's grip tightened around my waist. I looked around at the vampires staring at us. Casper the friendly vampire was right behind the Luther guy, and standing next to him was the blonde bimbo who'd gotten me into this mess. No, I amended, I got myself into this mess. This wasn't grade school, where the worst thing I'd get was detention or suspension if I let my temper get away with me; these were vampires.
"
Peaches.
" Bane's voice was in my head again. I didn't know what to say to him. Hell, I didn't even know how I was saying what I was saying to him. My brain hurt. I felt like an infant crying in a crib. I just needed someone to pick me up, to guide me and tell me what to do.
I knew that wouldn't happen here. Centuries-old beings looked at me, waiting for me to make a choice. I hated choices. I'd been Undecided for all of my two years at college. I hadn't even chosen to be a manager at Kmart; the job had just been handed to me. Except, I realized, since I'd met Bane, I'd been making all my own choices; stupid, reckless ones, but they were mine.
Change. The unknown. Choices. They bugged me, creeped me out. But here I was again, dealing with it. It was another one-or-the-other choice, this or that, marriage to a vampire or dinner of one.
"I don't understand what that means," I said with far more confidence then I felt, considering I was letting everyone know I was uninformed. "But if it means that everyone stops looking at me like dessert and puts away their fangs, then sure, we're married. "
"Then where is your ring?" the blonde bimbo hissed. "It is custom in human culture to have a ring, is it not?"
I just barely stopped myself from snorting. Yeah, 'cause announcing it to a group of immortals wasn't enough.
"Casper," Bane called out. The other vampire stepped forward and took off a ring, then handed it to him.
It was a silver ring in the shape of vampire teeth. Bane slid it on my ring finger. Yeah, forget the clear princess cut diamond on the platinum band surrounded by two half-carat emeralds. A girl always dreamed about a two dollar fang ring being slipped on her ring finger.
"What is that human saying?" Luther's lips twisted and he looked at me with a mix of amusement, pity, and curiosity. "Ah, yes. I now pronounce you vampire husband and ...
unknown
wife."
I'm not sure what I expected after that. Actually, that's a lie. I sort of expected something epic to happen. Like I'd magically get pregnant and go into labor because of something sacred, blah, blah, blah. I also sort of expected an outburst. I mean, here I was, some unknown chick marrying a vampire in an underground goth club. That just smelled like a book. It had that texture and feel, if, uh, events could have texture and feel.
The point is, I just expected a climax. A big ass banner in one way or another announcing I was married to a vampire. I didn't get that, and it sort of bummed me out. It made the entire event feel real.
Bane turned to me and smiled faintly. He'd obviously been reading my thoughts, and I didn't doubt almost everyone in the room had too, yet no one did anything. "Wife."
I couldn't help the half shrug I gave him, sort of a "well, this is officially a thing" shrug. "Husband."
In a windowless room, surrounded by hungry vampires with sweaty pits and feet that felt like needles were being forced into them, I was married. No one lunged for my throat and a magical fire didn't suddenly spring into existence and threaten to burn the place down. I realized that the things I expected to be awesome and dangerous were usually safe; it was the safe shit that got me in trouble. Well, that and my big, fat mouth.
