So I'm Not a Vampire?

Hey Everyone,

So this is the completely edited version of

So, I'm Not a Vampire?

All future stories I post on Lit are stories that will not be published. If you have questions, concerns, or just want to say hi, feel free to message me.

-Rosi

***

Chapter Three: Birthday Suit

Crisis mode. Here I was, faced with God's gift to womankind—naked!—in bed next to me. I mean,

motherfucker

, this dude was hot. I mean fiery, smoking, scream-your-head-off hot! Chiseled features, rock hard ...

everything

, and chocolate skin you just wanted to take a bite out of.

I couldn't help it. I freaked out a little.

Okay, I lied. I freaked out a lot.

I dashed to the bathroom, and I just barely stopped myself from slamming the door. I flipped on the shower and started pacing around the room. I didn't even notice how nice it was, or how shiny and new everything looked. One thing was on my mind: the Adonis in my bed.

"

Ohmygod. Ohmygod. Ohmygod.

" I couldn't think of anything else. I tried to scream my head off, but it only came out as a little squeak. I crouched, made myself as small as I could, and tried not to freak out more. It was just—I, Georgia Kent, didn't sleep in bed with men like that. It didn't happen—not in this world, anyway.

If I wasn't being confused for a lesbian because of my hair choice, I was being attacked or snubbed for my weight. Long ago, I'd understood that I would have to settle, have to live with having "good enough" instead of great. Of course, even that was messed up because "good enough" ex-boyfriend Rob had been gay. Which all proved my point: sexy, hot men did not sleep in the same bed with me unless we were re-enacting

Misery

.

The bathroom started to steam, and I started to sweat. It was only then that I realized I was naked. Yet again, I was butt naked. How was I naked? Who took off my clothes, or sheet and jacket?

I came crashing to my knees with my palms flat on the heated, black marble flooring. Did I have sex with Chocolate Thunder over there? Oh my God, would I have gorgeous caramel babies who look like little angels, with soft, curly hair and exotic eyes?

In that rather large bathroom, naked on all fours, I designed a whole life for myself and this mystery man. I mean, my imagination went above and beyond, past insane and right into batshit crazy.

I looked at the ceiling through my mess of red hair and shook my fist dramatically. "Why God? Why me? How could you do this to me?"

Yeah, it surprised me, too, when I didn't win the part of Little Orphan Annie in my fifth grade school play. I had melodrama down to a science. Shake fist. Rant. Cry. Plead. Look up and see naked Adonis in the doorway of the bathroom.

Wait. One of these things doesn't belong.

"What are you doing, Peaches?" The man looked at me like I was crazy. Well, I mean, I was acting a bit bonkers, but he was also standing there in his birthday suit.

And then his voice hit me. I don't know why the voice hadn't registered, but a second later it did and my jaw dropped to my boobs. "Bane?"

He raised a questioning brow and stepped right over me like I was a puddle on the floor. It was only then that I realized it hadn't been fat the black cat named Bane had been sporting yesterday, but muscle.

He looked over his shoulder and winked at me. It was the kind of wink that let me know he knew he was hot, knew my panties had gone up in flames, and knew that, very soon, I'd be under him. Man, did the guy have chatty eyes.

It took me another second before a good dose of modesty and reason kicked in. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around myself. Yeah, like that was going to do any good now. I looked up to see Bane step into the shower and water rush over his brawny muscles like it wanted him. That's right, the water was horny.

And so was I.

I couldn't have helped what my eyes did next if I'd wanted to. One second they were looking at the back of Bane's head, and the next they were looking at his butt.

Oh

, and what an ass it was. Tight and round, the type of butt you could bounce a quarter off of.

"Peaches," he said warningly as he grabbed the soap. "Out."

Apparently I was a dog now. I glared at him, spared one more, longing glance at his tight, muscular body, then stormed out of the bathroom. I could tell when someone needed their privacy.

Thankfully, time away from the super hot Bane allowed me to think and take note of a few things. One thing I noticed immediately was that we were in a really nice hotel suite. Not room: suite. There were clothes for me in the closet, and they all looked like my size. It wasn't like what you'd see in the movies, with rows of shoes and jewelry and stuff, but there was a skirt, a pair of jeans, clean underwear, and the bare essentials.

It was also dark outside, which didn't really help Bane's "you're not a vampire" case. There was a mini fridge, thankfully, and a pack of M&M's. I decided to put my red theory to the test while I waited for Bane. I didn't change into the new clothes in the closet because I wanted to shower first. I did, however, pop a squat in front of that refrigerator and meticulously sort through the little pieces of chocolate candy.

I didn't really eat the red ones, but instead sucked off the red sugar-coating. My stomach rumbled and grumbled in protest against the meager offering of sugar-flavored spit.

"What are you doing?"

I didn't whip my head this time. Bane had this habit—could I really call it a habit if I've only known the guy for twelve hours?—of sneaking up on me. "I'm eating, and what did you do with my clothes from last night? Why was I naked?"

"You mean early this morning. And I stripped them off you and threw them away, because they smelled like chemicals and death. I'm not in the habit of sleeping next to women who smell like a morgue." He came over and I could smell fresh, slightly musky male with a hint of some kind of exotic oil. Hmm ... I almost licked my lips. He barked out a short laugh. "Are you licking the sugar off the red M&Ms?"

I looked up, and up, and up at him. Damn he was tall. And for his sake, sleeping next to me better be all he'd done. "And what if I am?"

My shoulders squared and my tongue was limber and ready to lash out at him if he said I wasn't a vampire again. While eating, I'd thought a lot about what he said and how I didn't believe jack-squat of it. For all I knew, this man could have been a serial killer, the mosquito that bit me, or not the cat named Bane at all.

His lips quirked. "I am the

vampire

named Bane."

I bit the inside of my cheek and winced. "Whatever."

He sighed and vaulted over and onto the couch. "Go get a shower and get dressed. We're going out."

I scrambled up and slapped my hands on my towel-clad hips. "Don't I get a thank you for driving your sorry ass back home?"

He threw me a roguish smile. "Thanks for driving my sorry ass back home."

I stared into eyes that, on closer inspection, were dark brown and not black. I so wanted to punch him in the face, but the guy had answers, and boy did I need answers.

I turned around and stomped in the direction of the bathroom. "Stupid prick."

"I heard that," he called out as the TV blared to life in the living room.

"Good."