SIW : Adam O'Neill
still on track with our weekly updates! Many thanks to the usual bunch: the guild for their continuous support, Evilsnowman and Nulli for their proofreading and Mikothebaby for her editing skills.
Again a huge thank for CedarNeedle for providing another little something for RedB "Cursed Again".
Enjoy the read.
Mokkelke
Chapter Five : How Much Can He Take?
Adam sat on his couch, beer in hand. He felt content for the first time in ages. A whole scale of emotions had gone through him today, frustration, anger, despair, but he was thankful that it ended with joy and happiness. Who could have thought that Mia would be so devious as to bring Bronwille to his place for lunch?
Then Bronwille having that panic attack, he hadn't known what to do first. His wolf took over, their mate was in trouble. At least he fought the shift. It would only have made things worse. His heart was caught in his throat when he knocked on the door and didn't get a reply. As he entered and knocked again on the door of the stall she had locked herself, in he was losing it.
Without giving it much thought he had ripped the door from its hinges and had pulled Bronwille into his arms before she could even register what was going on. He knew he'd said something to Katie as she stood there with eyes as wide as saucers. He would have to explain his behavior to her.
Then he thought about how unsure Bronwille was, so insecure, but there were moments she had that old sparkle in her eyes.
Adam shook his head. At first he was just holding her. Even as they entered the restaurant before, he had noticed she looked like a shadow of her old self. Thinking back, as he had held her in his arms, he knew she had lost a lot of weight as well. The state his mate was what had his wolf howling in despair. Yet she still had to let them in and trust them, accept them for what and who he is.
Somehow she already did, because she calmed down pretty fast when she was near him, feeling and accepting the soothing presence of her mate, even if she didn't know it yet. When she went on her apology spree he couldn't take much more of it. He made sure she understood what he asked of her, what his promise entailed and still it felt like she was thinking she wasn't worth giving a promise too.
He'd wished the situation was entirely different for a first kiss, but in that moment he just needed her to know where his interest lay. So he dipped and lightly brushed her lips with his own. His wolf was doing summersaults and wanted to howl out how pleased he was. Adam had to fight hard not to deepen that kiss and just keep it to a light touch. The last thing he wanted was her to panic again.
He was vain enough to admit he felt proud that she wasn't focused at all the few seconds after. Doing his best to act normal, as if nothing too special had happened he just went on with their conversation. The smell of fear around her had evaporated for the most part.
Bronwille had gone back to Mia. The first few moments were tinted with a bit of anger and annoyance, but then their mood made a 180 degree turn. He'd stood in the door just behind the bar, just observing the two. Her sweet scent wrapped itself around him and he just stood there grinning like a sixteen year old school boy in love. Adam had to restrain himself from joining them and joining in on their funny chit chat.
Right now it mattered more to him that she was doing fine and was making progress getting out of her shell again. He rolled the bottle of beer in his hand before latching on and swallowing the last little bit of the cool beverage. Looking at his computer, he knew he still had to read her newer story, curious as what she made of it, how she experienced that evening.
He carefully placed his bottle on his brand new coffee table and went to start up his computer. His next action was to take a shower to wash away today's food smells. As he stripped, his nose caught the clean sweet smell of Bronwille trapped in his T-shirt. If his wolf had any cat like abilities, it would be purring right now.
Normally he put his dirty clothes straight into the dirty laundry basket but he now tossed his T on his bed. He had something with her scent now and it really calmed him down, made him feel there was hope.
With the shower out of the way, he put on some easy shorts, commando of course, before sitting behind his computer, navigating to her profile page. He was surprised it was just a single story. Checking her list again to make sure he didn't miss anything, he assured himself it was just a single story and started reading.
* * * *
* * * *
Cursed once again By RedB
It happened again. Hell, nowhere is safe anymore and even running to the security of friends was not enough to stop the curse of my fate following me, miles away. But could there be hope? I really am not sure. Maybe it's that I'm too scared to find out.
So why am I cursed? I wish I knew for sure, but clearly I am, since I was attacked again. I'm convinced it is a black mark on my soul, giving permission for men to attack me, think they can steal privileges that I have not granted. I want it to stop, but don't know how to bring an end to this curse or how to ever feel safe again.
I don't want men touching me, pinning me to the sides of cars. I don't want men thinking that I am their property or an object to fondle. I am not theirs. I am not anyone's property but mine.
But what was different this time was that I wasn't alone. While three men tried to take privileges with me outside a local club, I experienced something I've no words on how to describe. My mind had shut down at this point on what was actually happening to my body, and just before I completely blacked out, I felt it. A tug and then I felt like my soul was cradled in the most wonderful embrace as my mind careened out of control and I knew when I fell he'd catch me. I think I passed out. I must have for I woke up in my apartment, barely surfacing from my delusional trance that follows any panic episode I experience, but I felt
him
.
Him.
It should have scared me, but it didn't, for he was the cradle that convinced my soul to be at peace.
I am not sure how much time passed from the moment of the attack to when I finally surfaced, but obviously it had been a few days by the condition of my apartment. One moment I was cocooned in the warmth of arms and a firm body next to mine and in the next caught up in a fully-fledged panic attack.
I admit it, I freaked out. Another man taking something I hadn't freely offered and he was in my apartment, holding me in my own bed. But that tug remained; a small reminder in the back of my mind that this man was safe. Unfortunately, the more dominant part of my mind was in control and it was panicking. Yeah, I overreacted and kicked him out and can't bring myself to face him.
I walked away from that warmth and pushed it away. I shut that door and can't open it. Won't open it. Don't know how to reopen it.
So, to the man who saved me - thank you. That is all I can offer right now and all I am capable of giving. I know you've been calling me, coming by and waiting outside trying to have me let you in. I can't. Even if you make me feel protected. Don't you see I am cursed? I am not worth your time and I am better off alone.
Please just leave me be.
I know you will never read this, but it eases my heart to put my pen to paper and write these words.
* * * *
* * * *
Once more, Adam found himself sitting there staring at his screen. This was short, but it carried the same amount of hurt and emotions as her other story. His heart wept. His wolf howled in agony.
How could their mate think so low of herself? Thinking back at all those little things, he knew that she had felt their connection. Her soul had recognized its other half in him. How would he be able to get that stupid idea out of her pretty little head that she wouldn't be worthy of him? He thought it was rather the other way around. He knew his size scared a lot of woman away.
Sure, he wasn't a ladies man. He didn't have a fling every other week. But at the end of the day, he too had needs. He mostly hooked up with some of the single females in his pack. At least they knew they would get satisfied and that he was up for trying anything at least once. Never had he left a woman unsatisfied.
And then he met this cute petite redhead, huge as he was, she made him feel smaller than she was. He'd acted carefully around her, not wanting to scare her, always trying to show her he'd never hurt her. That evening in "The Viper" would have been perfect if not for the attack that followed.
Today he was the one that caused her to have another panic attack; though he was sure he got to her in time to prevent it from fully engulfing her. He could have cried from joy just having her in his arms. He knew he'd been soothing her, but at the same time his wolf was doing just the opposite, luxuriating in the presence of his mate.
Adam huffed. At least he wasn't riled up with anger now, rather he felt sad. She really has no idea how strong she really is. There were people who broke down for a lot lesser things than she was put through. Still she was getting back to her old self, he was sure of that. Really sure, as he thought back to that evening in the club, she had opened up herself for him and he did the same.
Maybe it was just his luck that they only touched on the more general topics to talk about. Said topics were still things that could make or break even the most normal of relationships. He liked a person who could show interest in several areas. That they shared a love food for was a huge plus in his book.
He practically came in his pants as he caught the moans she was producing while she scooped up bite after bite when she and Mia were in the restaurant. It was the biggest compliment she could give him. This thought reminded him he had to stock up on more pots and pans, since he managed to destroy some as he tried to keep himself from going right back in there, drag her from her chair, lock them up in his room and have his wicked way with her.
Adam smiled at this as the emotions flooded through his body once again.
