3. Friends..or more?
Sam was doing the lunch dishes a couple weeks later while Jake was outside the cabin splitting wood. She didn't mind the domestic duty at all, because it meant she had a fabulous view of him working with his shirt off. Okay, she still lusted after his body, she admitted grudgingly to herself. More to grumble about though was that he'd never made a move on her. It frustrated the hell out of her but it also scared her to pieces that she even felt that way. Especially since she'd caught him looking at her oddly a few times - coincidentally it was normally when she was thinking about him and how he made her feel.
Sometimes it was like he knew what she was thinking and alarmingly at one stage she thought he could be a mind reader. She'd heard of those. One of the captor's men had mentioned killing one to the others, while they beat her and laughed. She'd tested her theory out multiple times though, taunting Jake in her head when he looked at her, making up things, even once picturing her going down on him (which, maddeningly, just made her blush crimson as usual), but she never got a flicker of recognition from him and so she finally gave up on that theory. No one could be that good an actor.
It was just...she sighed. The way he looked at her when she was thinking those things about him...it got her so hot-
Christ, Sam!
She angrily scolded herself, turning back to the dishes and looking away from his sexy form.
He's obviously just not into you like that.
She was usually in control of her emotions and feelings; it was a shock and a surprise to be thinking about someone so often. At first it was depressing, then it was just damn annoying, so she'd tried concentrating on other things, like keeping the cabin tidy and cooking meals as she was a pretty handy cook she'd found out. She even enjoyed it. He said her venison stew was the best he'd ever tasted and came back for thirds. It had made her unnaturally pleased. That definitely confused her, but then again she'd never really had the chance to cook for anyone before.
She placed a clean cup upside down on the drainer and thoughtfully reached for the next dish. There was that one day though, when she had first worn her hair completely down after having washed it carefully and luxuriously in the shower. She hadn't felt safe enough to take the time to do so in a long, long time. God, it ranked as one of the best showers she'd ever had. Eventually she'd come out of the bathroom, still wrapped in a towel, her gold and straw coloured hair fluffy and dry, looking healthier than it had in a long time.
Sam paused with the dish in hand as she remembered, heat pooling in her belly at the memory. He had been standing in the lounge with a polishing cloth in one hand, his rifle in the other, and he'd just stopped and stared at her. Sam hadn't known what to do, she momentarily froze and blushed, their eyes locking. It was only a couple of seconds, but it felt like forever before she tore her eyes away and kept walking. She had held the towel close to her and continued across the hall to the room he'd given to her while she stayed; she'd felt his eyes on her the entire time. She'd closed the door quietly behind her, then leaned up against it, breathing heavily, ridiculously wet between her legs and not from the shower. Heart hammering, she'd pressed an ear to the door and didn't hear him move for a long time, but she was sure she'd heard a quiet click as the front door closed behind him.
Anyway
, Sam thought restlessly, washing the final dish and leaving it to drain on the sink,
he's obviously not that interested
, she repeated. Her eyes fell on her hand, the bright red scar across the knuckles screaming at her; it was like a slap to the face. She had purposely kept herself shifted over so she wouldn't think of it, think of him, but with her sudden slip, it was now at the fore front of her mind again. As she watched, the scar disappeared, but the damage had been done.
All of a sudden she was back in the dark house, in the small, dark room he'd kept her in. Her hands rubbed at her wrists, eyes now unseeing. It was so cold, so cold all the time. She started to shiver. The leather bindings rubbed her wrists and ankles, making them bloody and raw, arms suspended above her all the time. She shuddered as she remembered hearing the echoing heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. It was the same time every night, spelling out the next round of torture he had planned for her. Maybe another would be with him. She prayed that it wouldn't be the blade again. She squeezed her eyes shut and put her hands over her ears.
"No!" she said angrily out loud. Suddenly she snapped out of it. The heavy footsteps weren't steps at all. It was just the axe Jake was wielding, thumping down on each piece of wood. She was trembling as she looked around in a daze.
The dark haze cleared from her eyes and she looked around. Slightly panicked and shaken, she hesitantly moved her feet and sunk down onto the couch in front of the fire place. Stunned, she realized she hadn't thought of Rutherford in nearly two weeks. She'd blocked him out, or thought she had. It was a shock to feel him come back to the surface; it had felt so breath-takingly real. Her heart thumped and her palms were clammy, hands kneading each other to stop the shaking. Was she really safe here? He hadn't found her so far. Maybe she needed to be on the move again. It just felt so safe here, but she knew she couldn't hide out in a cabin in the forest forever. Something would have to be done.
But not right now
, the peaceful side of her countered. Soon, though.
With a deep, shaky breath, Sam wandered over to the book shelf to see what he had there. It seemed like a good plan to distract herself, and so determinedly picked out a book on animal wild life. It was obvious why Jake had it here, and it interested her just as much. Taking it over to the worn couch, Sam started flicking through the pages, ignoring her trembling fingers. She experimented with just touching the picture and seeing if she could shift. The idea had her curiosity peaked as she turned a page to a zebra. She stifled a rueful laugh at the thought of Jake coming back in to see a zebra in his living room; it also felt like flipping the finger at Rutherford for telling her that shifting made her a freak. She hadn't shifted since the night she'd run from Jake. Still smiling a little, heart starting to steady now, she closed her eyes, touched the picture and thought of the change. Nothing. Slightly disappointed, she went to put the book back on the shelf.
Worth a try,
she lamented. As she placed it amongst the other bindings, she noticed that its neighbor was a book on human anatomy.
Interested again, an idea humming in the back of her mind, she pulled the book out and settled on the couch again. It opened instantly to a page of a particular piece of the male anatomy. Instantly she flushed, thinking of Jake, thanking God that he wasn't there to see it. She determinedly kept looking at the picture though,
It's just a damn diagram
. The idea that had pushed at her sprung to the forefront. Could she? She mused it over, the inkling of a smile starting to tug at her lips again.
What was the point of being a freak shifter if she couldn't use it for her own amusement?