Rose of Yesterday

The single red bud lay upon the stark white contours of the snowy landscape; its fragile petals kissed by the wintry lips of the brisk February winds. Dark clouds filled the sky, richly pregnant with yet another of Mother Natures beautiful but deadly progeny.

A winter weather advisory was in effect for the whole Midwest; only the brave or the very foolish would be venturing out into such a dangerous storm as this was predicted to become. Sidney had heard the reports, who hadn't? But nothing would stay her course.

Tears silently slid down her cheeks to meet and gather in the indention of her chin, from there they traveled down to the rounded point falling one precious drop after the next to land upon the frozen grave beneath her booted feet. Bending over she began to clean the snow from the day before away from the front of the granite headstone. The cold bit at her gloveless fingers but she didn't feel it, numbed from grief nothing was noticed but the hot core of burning sorrow wedged deep within the recesses of her broken heart and shattered soul. Crouching down she watched as the writing came forth from beneath the frozen crystals, her hands moved faster seemingly of their own will carelessly pushing handfuls of wet heavy snow aside until she could clearly read the inscription:

Richard Paul Williamson

April 8th 1975 - February 14th 1999

Much beloved Husband, Son, Brother

Anguish lanced its way through her body in waves, a sob broke from her throat only to be caught, lifted, and carried away by the blustery flowing wind. Reverently Sidney retrieved the rose bringing it up slowly to gently kiss the ruby tinted folds, closing her eyes she prayed for the strength to get her through this day. This day that should represent one of the happiest moments of her life. Falling forward down onto her knees the thorny stem crushed between her clasped palms Sidney whispered the words that had been burning through her tortured spirit for twelve long endless months.

"Why? Why did you take him from me?" Gazing up into the gray dismally swollen clouds she beseeched the heavens, eyes open, feeling the sharp sting of the frigid wind cause the free flowing tears to pick up their pace. The salty watery essence caused the clouds to blur and waver before her grief stricken countenance.

Looking for answers she knew she would never find, Sidney began to rock, trying to fight off the stark feelings of intense longing and loneliness. Seconds turned into minutes, emotions churned, coming to the surface no longer confinable. She moaned hearing the sound of the snow crunching beneath her knees and the whine of the wind dancing upon translucent feet to swirl and eddy around her in an almost seemingly embrace of comfort.

"Why God? Why? We never even got to consummate our love." Anger took over, the injustice of it all consuming her senses, turning her cheeks from pale white to a flushed pink.

Laying the rose on top of the headstone she struggled to her feet, the slippery whiteness making purchase difficult. For the first time in a year the dam broke, all the pent up rage burst forth in a howl of pure agony.

"RICHARD!!" Her voice echoed in the hollow stillness around her rising to the treetops and upward to bounce off the clouds and disperse out dissolving into the frosty air.

Standing completely still Sidney allowed the feelings inside her to settle, the rage simmering down to hand over the reins of power to its brother sadness. Feeling the cold invade her bones for the first time Sidney looked out over the deserted cemetery, it really was so peaceful and beautiful in this wintry setting. Richard would have loved it here, away from the city surrounded by trees and small sculptured lakes and paved walking paths.

She had quite a trek back to the car, most people would have gotten turned around out here in all this whiteness, but she'd made the trip out so many times over the past months that she could walk it with her eyes closed. The breeze picked up and the first snowflakes began to fall, it was time to go. Lips quivering, tears still falling Sidney did what she'd came out here for, bending down to trace the letters of his name lovingly she spoke to him.

"Happy Anniversary Darling. I Love You. I'll Always Love You." Wiping the tears from her streaked cheeks with the tips of her fingers she turned to go. Catching a flash of red out of the corner of her eye, she looked closer and saw that it was a single rose petal lying to the side of the headstone. Picking it up and folding it into a tiny square Sidney unzipped her green parka, and reaching for the locket she always wore around her neck, carefully opened the small golden heart and placed the petal inside.

Zipped back up and trudging slowly back the way she'd come she watched the large downy flakes falling like magical sugar sprinkles all around her. Being caught by surprise, a strong gust of wind whipped around her almost knocking her over, the shiny long braid hanging down her back swung wildly. A lacy emerald green ribbon contained the heavy silken mass; its ends fluttering back and forth caught in the zephyrs embrace. Another powerful blast of air caught the feminine confection and like a playful imp ripped it from her hair carrying it away on invisible wings, going this way and that in its never ending dance of currents. Realizing to late what had happened; Sidney's cry of dismay was swallowed up in the howl of the Storm as it descended upon her.

What moments ago had seemed peaceful and beautiful was now harsh and threatening, looking behind her she turned around and began running after the wisp of green material. Pellets of ice blew into her face, stinging her skin, blinding her eyes; the storm seemed to have no direction, coming at her from all sides. She lost sight of the ribbon and after several minutes of frantic searching admitted to herself that it was gone. Crumbling to the ground in despair Sidney looked around at the bitter squall going on around her in a detached manner, her second most cherished possession gone, and again at the hands of Mother Nature's fickle fate. Again... for a year ago today, the day of her wedding, her world had ended.

There had been a winter storm that day too, it had started early and snowed all afternoon, some of the guests had arrived at the chapel a little late but the wedding had went on as planned. They'd laughed and played in the snow upon leaving the church, instead of throwing rice, many had thrown snowballs at the happy couple as they headed for their car decorated with a string of cans tied to the bumper and of course the "JUST MARRIED" signs attached to the side panels.

They'd been on their way to the reception being held at Richards mothers house when a snowplow lost control on the treacherously slippery little two lane country road they were going down, there had been no warning for they'd just been cresting the top of a small hill when out of nowhere the snowplow came barreling down from the other side, there had been no where to go, the car had spun sideways leaving the road to crash into a tree, the plow had followed crashing into the other side of the car. They'd been sandwiched. Richard had died instantly; she'd been knocked unconscious waking up later in the hospital only to wish she hadn't.

* * * * *

Sidney had first seen and fell in love with Richard at the age of fourteen, in her freshman year at high school. His locker was next door to hers; they'd become good friends, but by their junior year had known that they were destined to be much more. By graduation they had vowed themselves to each other. They were heading in different directions for collage, she staying in her small Midwestern town and him heading off to the east coast.

On the day of their parting they made promises to each other. To remain true. They had never experimented with sex, each feeling that they were not ready and both wanting to wait until they were united in wedlock, which would take place after both had graduated from collage. And wait they had, it had been hard at times, for they found the chemistry between them had grown in leaps and bounds every time Richard came home for the holidays or for the summers. The last months before the wedding had been excruciating, every time they were alone the fires just built and built almost burning out of control. They'd set Valentines Day as a wedding date, both looking forward to the wedding night when they could complete their vows to each other, and begin their new lives.

Now sitting alone, cold, freezing in the middle of a deserted cemetery in what appeared to be turning into a blizzard Sidney began to cry again. The ribbon, that little scrap of material had meant the world to her, for it had been the first gift a nervous fifteen-year-old Richard had given her. Next to her locket that he'd bestowed upon her proudly when she turned sixteen it had been the most important item she owned, and now it was gone, and on today of all days.

Sitting on her butt on the hard snow-packed ground Sidney drew her legs up wrapping her bundled arms around them, resting her head on her denim covered knees. She knew she should get up and get to her car but for some reason, nothing seemed to matter now, nothing but this empty ache inside her chest where her heart was suppose to be. Closing her eyes she blocked out all sound and feeling. The wind screeched and tried its best to bowl her over, its fury ever constant in its quest to conquer everything in its path. Eventually the snow began to drift using her body to mold its icy sculpture. Realizing what she was doing Sidney felt no fear, only a sense of resignation, what was life without Richard anyway?

"Noooooooooooooooo Sidney..." The huskily whispered words reverberated inside her head, echoing, expanding out in a tortured entreaty. Searing heat against the sides of her numb cheeks, and a pressure that was gently raising her head off her knees, brought her to a foggy attention. Squatting down in front of her was a person; it was hard to tell if it was a male or female, with the snow blowing, and her eyes feeling almost frozen within their sockets.

All she knew was that the heat radiating from the hands upon her face was phenomenal, it seemed to seep into her skin and mushroom out coating every part of her insides in a swift flow downward. Within seconds her whole body was toasty warm all the way to her toes. Confused, trying to comprehend what had just happened she blinked, then realized the wind was no longer blowing, in fact it was deadly quiet and still. Focusing her eyes she gasped in disbelief, Richard knelt before her, his vibrant green eyes staring lovingly into hers. She tried to speak but nothing would go past the paralyzed muscles of her throat. Feeling the shock hit her full force Sidney knew for the first time in her life that she was going to faint, the roaring in her ears confirmed it as suddenly everything went black.

* * * * *

Fingertips gently running along her bottom lip brought Sidney back to complete wakefulness. Opening her eyes slowly she looked up into dark emerald eyes, they blazed down at her radiating a love so true and strong she could feel it enveloping her body to seep through her skin heading straight to her heart. She gasped, unable to take her gaze from her soul mate. Tears began to flow, falling unheeded as his lips slowly descended to graze her cheeks. Feeling confused, scared, but so full of joy she couldn't contain it Sidney tried to talk, but no words would come. Sitting back up Richard placed his fingers lightly over her lips and she heard his voice in her mind.

"I love you Sid."

It was only then that Sidney began to take stock of her surroundings, she could feel soft warm grass on her naked back… naked???? Glancing down she realized she was completely undressed and laying upon a carpet of grass and flowers. Slowly feeling a sense of unreality kicking in, she noticed for the first time the warmth of the sun shining down upon her from a clear blue cloudless sky, birds sang in the distance, and a softly blowing breeze wound around her cushioning her in its springtime scents. The buzz of insects played in harmony to the wind whispering lightly in the treetops she could see over Richards's bare shoulders. It was beautiful, and in her mind she wondered if she'd died and come to join Richard in heaven. His lips curved into a sad wistful smile.

"No, Sid. But we have been given this gift of time to share together, to finally be one, you're so beautiful, so much more then I remembered, I've missed you darling." Again his words were not spoken aloud, but she heard them clearly.

Not really understanding but knowing nothing mattered but the fact that she was with her love once again, not caring how, why, nothing but the fact that he was before her Sidney sat up launching herself into his arms. Taken by surprise he fell over taking her with him, they ended up in a heap, him on his back, her draped over his body.

His lips captured hers immediately, the instant she felt their lips open and tongues touch she was transported back in time to the many kisses they'd shared in the past. Again her tears fell, flowing around them in joy, sorrow, and want. Wrapping her arms around his neck Sidney finally let go of the loneliness and anguish she'd been carrying around for the past year.

This was unbelievable, and probably only a figment of a dying mind sitting out in a wintry blizzard slowly freezing to death, but she didn't care. If she died like this, it was worth it, just to once again feel his skin under her fingers and taste the sweetness of his mouth once more was worth any price. His tongue plied hers; sliding along its length to backtrack drawing her tongue after it to be encased in between his lips and finally back into his mouth. He suckled. She shuddered.

Finding his silky hair she entwined her fingers in it lifting up, parting their lips to arch her back and pull his head to her left breast. She'd dreamed of this. Every night. Dreamed of a honeymoon never taken, a coupling so intense and full of pleasure given, and returned that she'd wept in contentment and wonder afterward. He growled opening his mouth to take her erect nipple between his pure white teeth. She groaned, they'd gotten to this stage a couple times, but never anything beyond it. Flicking his tongue over the sensitive peak was a sensation Sidney had only dreamed of, she reveled in it, pulling him tighter to her. He went crazy.

The next thing she knew, she'd been flipped once more to her back, and he was kneading one breast and licking the other. She watched entranced, as his tongue whipped over every inch of her, only to move over to the other mound and begin again. Looking up at her the excitement, and pure lust in his eyes stunned her, he began to move down, hands trailing, to pinch lightly here, caress there. His lips trailed over her waist stopping to nip and then lave the sensitive red love bites he left in his wake.

Coming to her navel he swirled his tongue in, and around, over and over again. Sidney felt a fire already kindled come to full life. Her legs widened of their own volition, her clit coming out from its shelter to swell and throb as fingers lightly begin to caress a place where only her own hands had dared venture.

"Oh GOD!!!!" She moaned silently as warm breath found the hardened taut nub right before hot lips, then wet sizzling tongue followed. Feeling like she'd been stomach punched Sidney lost her breath, Oh Jesus… she'd never dared imagine the pleasure that was being heaped upon her starved senses.

Arching her hips, she heard mental groans and whimpers come from deep inside her. Feeling like she was being controlled from some alien being inside her, she watched almost in slow motion as her hands grabbed Richards hair and she ground her hips up hard into his mouth. She lost all control. She'd waited so long for this, there was no holding back now. She fucked his mouth. Seeming to know what she needed, he speared his tongue down finding her nether lips and opening them to let her own motion carry his tongue as deep inside her as he could get it. She screamed, scissoring her legs around his head, bucking, grinding, needing, wanting something, something that was now completely controlling her. Her blood began to boil, her stomach clenched, and from deep, deep inside her core a tension was winding up, getting ready to let loose with a vengeance.

His tongue slid in and out of her, again and again, riding the motion of her hips comparable to a wave beneath a surfboard. Like a cobra uncoiling to strike she came. From the depths of her soul she climaxed right into the mouth of her husband. Holding tight to her hips he licked, sucked, and swallowed all the sweet nectar he could scoop onto his tongue from inside her. She screeched, feeling the rapture released from the prison she'd made of her heart. Then she cried. Deep gut wrenching sobs, born from all the feelings carried inside for so long. Comforting arms drew her up tight against a warm chest, lips nestled into her hair, and soft whispers enclosed her mind in entreaties of love and warmth. After endless seconds she quieted finally looking up into the windows of Richard's crystal soul. They shone bright with endless love and desire.

"I love You, Oh god, sweetheart, I've always loved you." He caught her thought and gently lowered her back down, crushing the grass and flowers beneath them, bringing a crisp sweet scent up to surround them in the miracle of springs rebirth. As he covered her, she could feel his erection against her upper thigh, she reached down shyly between them and ran her palm gently up the hard silken shaft. She was surprised to feel it jump against her skin. He groaned, and she knew she didn't want to wait any longer to become one with him. His eyes caught hers, and he read the silent entreaty in their depths. She opened her legs and shifted her body, bringing his cock between her lips to snuggle right against the opening of her.

His intent stare became her entire word as she felt him slowly begin to enter her previously readied channel. The feeling awed her. The more he filled her, the fuller her heart also became. Coming to her hymen he hesitated, then smiling, gently whispered the words.

"Now you truly become mine, in heart body and soul." The soft timber of his voice heard externally for the first time swam over her senses as he plunged deeply into her, taking her virginity and branding her his forever. The sharp sweet pain was nothing compared to the happiness bursting forth from inside Sidney, at last, at last finally, the answer to her prayers. They were one. She was filled completely.

He remained still, his emotions betraying him as a singe tear flowed down his cheek to fall softly down upon Sidney's lips. Drawing in a deep emotional breath Richard began to move, slowly at first, letting her get accustomed to the feel of him stretching her. Watching his eyes Sidney knew she'd never forget the look in them at this moment. It was something she knew she would cherish with all her being forever.

"Kiss me." She whispered aloud. Groaning and bringing his full weight down upon her he crushed his lips to hers, only to gently part her lips and began a slow wet exploration, the love she could feel just in the movements of his tongue left her feeling humbled. They fell off the cliff together, hanging in mid air, an invisible hand holding them up to float over the realms of devotion they'd created within themselves. Nothing was felt but the rhythm of his body slipping in and out of her satiny wetness, the only sounds heard were the sliding of skin upon slippery skin, soft moans, deep moist kisses, and quickening breath.

Sidney felt the heat building again; it came upon her so fast she hardly had time to recognize it before she tumbled over the edge of sanity to oblivion. Shuddering, moaning in uncontrollable ecstasy she clamped down hard upon the granite length inside her, her mind whirled, colors danced brightly behind her eyes, and she captured the tongue still entwined with hers to suck it deeply into her mouth. Expecting the feeling to subside as it had before Sidney gasped as Richard suddenly plunged into her hard, pulling almost all the way out of her to plunge in to the hilt again.