Reservoir of Power

Ya know...everythin' sorta went black after that herd of talking muskrats came into the tavern last night... and I think one of the lil' bastards must have been a leprechaun too! ~~ J. Milton O'Leary

*****

Big Mountain Misfits ... ... ... ... # ... ... ... ... Position

Mother Mary... ... ... ... 1 ... ... ... ... Captain/B

Six-gun Sioux ... ... ... ... 66 ... ... ... ... Pivot

Wendy O. Wheelin'... ... ... ... 0 ... ... ... ... Blocker

Crimson ... ... ... ... 69 ... ... ... ... Blocker

Ursula Major ... ... ... ... ∞ ... ... ... ... Blocker

Ilsa She-Wolf ... ... ... ... SS ... ... ... ... Jammer

SpongeBarb Hotpants ... ... ... ... 99 ... ... ... ... Jammer

Mother Hubbard ... ... ... ... 5 ... ... ... ... Blocker

Lay-down Sally ... ... ... ... DC10 ... ... ... ... Blocker

Gallon sized ½ pint ... ... ... ... ½ ... ... ... ... Jammer

Plenty O. Paula ... ... ... ... case ... ... ... ... Blocker

Lager Lady ... ... ... ... 12pk ... ... ... ... Blocker

Rainbow Kisses ... ... ... ... xxx ... ... ... ... J/B

~~~

The lights slowly dimmed throughout the building, and the music began to rise. A deep voice began to caress the ears of the crowd as a single spotlight illuminated the tunnel end of the rink. Lochlainn's voice spoke over the public address system, "Laaaa-dies and Gentlemen... and derby fans of all ages. And now introducing the starting line-ups for tonight's bout...your very own Big Mountain Misfits: at Jammer, wearing the red sequined SS on her jersey, Illlll-sa the Sheeeee-Wolf!"

The first skater shot out of the smoke-filled tunnel; Ylva was positively flying across the rink in her new black and red, glittered skates. When she hit her top speed, she leapt high into the air and did wide-splayed splits before perfectly landing her power-slide into the Misfits' team box. The crowd cheered madly, screaming its lungs out for their newly minted scoring star.

Their screams had not even completely died down yet as Lochlainn smiled and thumbed his console, firing up Sioux's new theme song. The chorus to Iron Maiden's 'Run to the Hills' came roaring over the public address system.

Run to the hills

Run for your lives

Run to the hills

Run for your lives

Lochlainn continued to incite the crowd, "...at Pivot, and wearing #66 on her back tonight, THE avenging, warrior, Six-Gun...Sioux!" Sue came storming out of the tunnel, her hair flying behind her; it was long, lustrous and black, and she had braided it tightly into eagle feathers. Just as Ylva had done before her, Sioux flew across the length of the rink where she was welcomed into the box by Ylva with a leaping high-five.

Tonight's impenetrable wall; your wall of defense... They'll be stopping every attack and blocking out the very sun: Number zero, Wendy O. Wheelin': Number 69, Crimson; and wearing the sideways eight of infinity, Urrrr-su-la Majorrrr!"

The crowd continued to roar their approval for their team as the three tough women came skating out of the tunnel; they were the shield-maidens, and they were ready for the battle that was to come.

When the cheering had finally begun to subside, Lochlainn flipped another button on his sound system and Beth Hart's 'Mother Maria' began to reverberate into the arena.

Mother Mary, she don't talk to me.

Mother Mary, she don't talk to me.

...and Lochlainn spoke again,", and finally, our coach and captain, Mother Mary... and the rest of the Big Mountain Misssssfits!"

This introduction released Mary and the rest of the team to come flooding out of the tunnel. They flowed across the rink and joined their starting line-up with chest bumps and frenzied high-fives.

The audience was going wild again, and the building was shaking from their excitement. Attendance had tripled for tonight's bout as the girls had won their last three matches, all of them by large margins. The week before, the Misfits had been in Boise Idaho, but tonight the team had finally returned to Kalispell for their first home match in weeks. The town's enthusiasm for their team was sky high, and for the first time in the Misfits' unremarkable history, the arena had sold out.

Mary couldn't resist taking a moment to bask in the crowd's adulation. She'd busted her ass to build a program that Kalispell could call its own. She really couldn't be sure if it had been the winning streak that had brought the crowd out tonight, or if the packed arena was due more to Lochlainn's promotional ideas, but right now, she didn't really care; she'd spent years building this program, and she was going to take a moment to enjoy the cheering while it lasted.

"

Lochlainn is a promoter?"

she thought to herself.

She'd never seen that coming. Who would have guessed that the taciturn giant would have finished his degree in sports marketing? Lochlainn... the man who'd barely spoken fifteen words per day since she'd met him. Now, she knew from long nights in the tavern, that the truth of basic probability suggested that he wouldn't speak again all night long. He'd exhausted all of his words for the week in that introduction.

She knew that it had been worth the cost though; he'd given the crowd a thundering introduction to the Misfits! Mary figured that the only reason that he'd agreed to do the announcing was so Mike would have to give him time-off so he could come to the rink to see his woman skate. She had to admit that he'd been right about adding the introductions to ramp up the crowd's enthusiasm. The people of Kalispell were screaming their lungs out, and the match hadn't even started yet. Mary noted with some satisfaction that the girls from Medford looked to be cowed by the maelstrom that was going on around them.

It had certainly gone differently the previous year in Oregon. At the time, the Misfits had only eleven skaters on their entire team, and after their longest road trip of the season, two of those girls had been too sick to skate effectively. The bout had been a disaster from the very first whistle, and the Misfits had taken a horrible beating. They'd taken the worst defeat in the history of the team.

After that embarrassment, there had been signals from the Medford team that they would be refusing to honor their home and home agreement this year, and it had been necessary for Mary to sweet-talk their captain into agreeing to make the trip. Mary had to secure free hotel rooms for the Rollerz, as well as to promise them a free night of drunken debauchery in Mike's tavern for their entire team. She'd never had to pay so much to secure a match before, but she really wanted a bit of pay-back for the last year's debacle.

She knew that the Medford girls had actually secured a second match somewhere in the wilds of Idaho for Sunday night- obviously seeing tonight's bout as more of a practice session, an easy one at that... sort of a quick practice with alcohol afterwards. This thought brought an evil smile to Mary's face as she was relishing the idea of a little revenge. She knew that the Rollerz had no idea the amount of hurt that was coming their way. She grinned malevolently as she hummed Sioux's theme song. She was figuring that the song would be prophetic; she fully intended to send the Sis-Q Rollerz running for the hills tonight.

"...and tonight's opponents," Lochlainn casually announced, as if it were a mere afterthought, ", from Medford Oregon, the Sis-Q Rollerz." The crowd noise dropped from thundering... to funeral, and Lochlainn flicked the button on his console that produced the sound of chirping crickets.

The Medford girls skated out of the tunnel with astonished expressions on their faces. Each of them was thinking the exact same thought, "

The team that we beat by two hundred points has a fan base? Why? They can barely skate."

"C'mon girls," the Medford captain shouted gamely, "we'll shut 'em down just like we did last year!"

The Rollerz were an experienced team and they had skated in tough rooms before, but they'd never encountered anything like the blizzard that hit them in the teeth that night. From the very first jam, the Misfits skated circles around the Rollerz. The fact that the Medford coach had elected to dress several of her reserve skaters for tonight's 'practice' hadn't helped matters either. By halftime, she'd not only realized that her team had been completely embarrassed, but that this Misfits' team would surely have beaten even her best lineup.

So...during the halftime break, she sought-out Mother Mary. She opened with, "So...who were those imposters that showed up in Medford last year?"

Mary snorted. "Yeah, we've gotten better..."

"I see that! You might have warned me, you know. I started some of my reserves tonight."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that," Mary lied convincingly, "I honestly forget that some teams actually have more than fourteen skaters."

"You only have fourteen players in your

entire

program?"

"Well... we have thirteen when everyone can make it. But on some nights, Mother Hubbard can't get a sitter, and then there's Paula; her parole officer won't always let her leave town."

"She'd be the one with the LoJack on her ankle?" Bea asked while pointing at Wendy O. Wheelin'.

"No, that's Wendy." replied Mary

"Do I even want to know why she has to wear that?"

"Do you have a strong stomach?" Mary asked quietly.

"Never mind! Forget that I asked!"

Mary laughed and held her hand out, "I'm Mother Mary... we've spoken on the phone."

The other woman shook her hand, saying, "I'm Honey Bea. Do you have any more nasty surprises for me tonight?"

Mary let herself smile before saying, "Just wait 'til you meet our bartender; you'll love him, but just make sure that you tell your girls to keep their hands off of him. He belongs to Ursula. You know...the big one."

Bea chuckled mirthlessly before saying, "That bitch has blocked everything we've thrown at her all night long, and now, she is gonna cock-block us as well? Does she know that she needs to share once in a while?"

Mary grinned, "She hasn't even gotten peevish yet!"

"Oh my..."

"Yeah, she's been getting worse. I hope Lucky will make a move on her soon; she's starting to leave bruises on her teammates."

"Lucky would be your bartender?"

"Yup, he's the most patient man that I've ever met, but he'd better make a move on her before much longer. She's even starting to scare me, and I'm safely married!"

"...and you couldn't have gotten her laid before we rolled into town?"

"...and miss the opportunity to pay y'all back for the whippin' you put on us last year?"

Bea gave Mary a jaundiced look before saying... "The beer had better be cold."

Mary assured her opponent that Mike's served the coldest beer in Kalispell... and with that dollop of good will, the two women separated to speak with respective teams before the second half was due to start.

Mary quickly informed her team that the second and third strings would be playing most of the second half. No one was surprised; they'd all expected it. They all knew that their captain hated the teams that would run up the score. In any event, the other team was due to come drinkin' with the Misfits later, and continuing to rub salt in their wounds would be an extremely stupid move.

When the bout eventually restarted, the Misfits' reserves were pleasantly surprised to find that they could skate with the Medford girls. Evidently, the Kalispell skaters had improved a great deal over their previous year's effort. Before that exact moment, none of them had realized it, but the fact that they'd been practicing with two world-class skaters had definitely improved their game. All of the girls were quicker to their marks now, and skating with their new teammates had prepared them to deal with quicker and stronger skaters than the ones they were used to facing.

...and with each successive jam, their confidence grew. The shouts of encouragement that they were receiving from their bench and the deafening roar from the crowd inspired the girls to heights they'd never expected to obtain. Their hard work had paid off, and by the time their bout was ready to end; the Misfits' reserves were out-skating, and more-importantly, out-scoring the tiring Oregon team.

As the final buzzer sounded, the Misfits knew that they had truly won this match as a complete team, and not just because two exceptional skaters had come to do all their heavy lifting for them. They'd won this bout because they were the better team tonight, and while the girls were dog-tired, they were ecstatic! They'd never expected to beat this very good team, and now they knew that the Misfits would be rising in the National rankings.

The Sis-Q Rollerz on the other hand, they were battered and they were bruised beyond recognition. Their captain had long since begun to regret taking that second match in Idaho the next night. She knew that a bare twenty four hours would not be long enough to recover from the ass-kicking that they had just received.

She counted herself lucky that the six girls who had not skated tonight might be at 100% tomorrow. Well, they would if she could keep them sober tonight. It was obvious that tonight's skaters would not be ready to do much in Idaho. Between her team's exhaustion and their coming alcohol abuse, Bea wondered if she'd be able to field a team at all.

When the two teams met on the track for the traditional post-bout handshake, Bea leaned in to Mary's ear and quietly whispered, "That was a dirty trick, but remind me to tell you about the post-season tournament in Grants Pass. I think you'll be interested!"

Mary had no ability to reply to the other coach as Bea had quickly moved on to the next Misfit girl in line and had already begun shaking her hand. Mary was left to wonder what the woman had meant because Mary had always kept a very close eye on all of the sanctioned events on the Pacific region's website, and she hadn't seen anything scheduled in Grants Pass. She was positive that the league had already scheduled all of its tournaments for the year.

Lochlainn was long gone by this time; he'd left the rink shortly after halftime when it had become obvious that Lena was done skating for the night. By the time the bout had whimpered its dying breath, he'd already appeared back at Mike's, where he'd immediately booted Earl from where he'd been lounging behind the bar. He was now preparing for the coming crush of thirsty patrons when Jimmy looked up and asked laconically, "How'd they do this time?"

"The girls were way ahead, and Lena was done by halftime." Lochlainn answered, saving his words.

"That'll make Mary happy," Earl grinned, "she was really pissed-off last year!"

Lochlainn just grunted in acknowledgement.

Jimmy grinned at the taciturn Lochlainn before asking with an evil grin, "Are you ever gonna talk much?"

"Nope," Lochlainn returned with a grin. He'd come to enjoy the game of out-stubborning the two old codgers.

Earl watched the two men jousting for a bit before he casually allowed, "Ya know, if you don't ever ask us to tell you their story, we'll never be able to explain just how long Mike and Mary's courtship actually lasted ...and as slow as yer courtin' of Lena is goin', you probably need to hear the

whole

story."

Lochlainn abruptly stopped washing the dirty glasses, and instead spun to where the two old men were now sitting with shit-eating grins on their faces, just leering at him. He attempted to stare the codgers down, but this met with dismal failure as the two men burst into laughter at his obvious distress.

Lochlainn broke first. "Okay you meddling, old bastards, will you tell me the

whole

story of Mike and Mary's courtship... please."

This merely caused the men to start laughing anew, but rather than answering Lochlainn's politely worded question, Earl turned to Jimmy and said, "Did you hear what he said, Jimmy? He called you, 'a meddling old bastard'!"

Jimmy paused for a moment as if he were pondering his friend's words, before finally saying, "Now, you know that's not fair, Earl. Everybody knows that our mommas were married to our daddies..."

Earl slowly replied, "But he might have been right about the meddlin' part... and I suspects that your Momma was probably just lyin' to your Daddy anyhow."

Jim paused again, before saying, "Yeah, I guess you're right about that, but what do you think we should tell the poor boy?"

"I don't know Jimmy, but if'n we don't tell him, I don't think that he'll ever figure this out by himself. He doesn't seem to be all that bright!"

"Okay... okay, I get it, you guys win," Lochlainn broke in loudly.

"Let me try this again," he said humbly. "Please, most esteemed gentlemen, I beg that you share your wisdom with me. Please tell me the story of Mike and Mary."

Earl acted as though he was considering Lochlainn's entreaty for a moment, but then he finally allowed, "Well...we would, but remember... we told you to ask us on a slow night, and now you can already hear them boys squeelin' their tires in the parking lot."

For a brief moment, Earl believed that he'd gone too far, as the look on Lochlainn's face suggested that he might be considering dismemberment for two old men. The huge man's eyes narrowed as the glass in his hand exploded into thousands of fragments, but luckily for everyone in Kalispell, Lochlainn managed to avoid shifting... barely.

...and then Earl began speaking very quickly, "Yeah, yeah, I know. We went too far. I

know

we went too far, but we couldn't resist pokin' the bear. So, ask us early on Tuesday night and we'll fill you in on how the whole thing really went down. It will take us quite a while to tell you the whole story... and you know there really shouldn't be anyone else listening to any of this when we tell you this whopper."

Lochlainn growled at the old man, but he didn't say anything out loud. He would have, but he never had the chance. The first truckload of men had arrived, and the two old codgers immediately beat a hasty retreat to the empty smoker's table that waited for them outside of the Tavern. They never looked back.

In his entire life, Lochlainn knew that he'd never been that close to shifting in anger, and now he'd have no time to regain control of his bear either. His tribe of thirsty men were already banging on the counter and screaming at him for their ale. So, the Viking behaved as he always did at these times: he silently grimaced and went back to work. It was the story of his life; he continued to work in silence and to over-think his problems.

He'd told Lena that he'd be patient. He'd told her that he'd wait for her to make the first move. But despite the fact that she saw him every day, she hadn't come close to making that move. In truth, he thought that she seemed farther away than ever. She wouldn't even touch him in public.

He'd known that Lena had been hurt by men, but he'd done nothing to deserve the reluctant sort of fear that she seemed to have of him. He wasn't angry about that exactly... well, not at her at any rate; but his frustration was mounting. What on earth would he do if she refused his suit? He knew that he'd be inconsolable.

Damn it! She was

exactly

what he'd been searching for all these years! How was he going to get her to realize that he was who

she'd

been looking for? ...and he was still locked into this fruitless loop of ruminations when a woman approached his bar and sternly demanded two pitchers of the local micro-brew made by Big Sky Brewing, namely, their special summer blend. They called it, 'Summer Honey Ale'.