Neve's Incubus

The wooden crate sat on the archaeology lab's table. It wasn't particularly large, a bit bigger than the size of a shoebox. Neve Saunders knew it had been sent to her advisor from a colleague from Britain, but whatever it was hadn't been told to her. She was interested in seeing what it was.

Dr. Lain came strolling into the lab, finally finished with his last class of the day. He was in his late thirties, having lucked into a tenure track when the school had finally

strongly suggested

that his eighty-one-year-old predecessor as the chair of the archaeology department become a "professor emeritus." Neve had a small crush on him, the way young people who meet someone young enough that it's not like talking to their parents or grandparents but old enough to have some grey in their hair often do. He gave her a wave, then headed into the lab's office to put away his things.

"Your box came," Neve told him when he came out again.

"Oh, great!" he exclaimed. "Let's take a look."

He found the claw hammer and gently separated the top of the crate at each nail, putting it aside when he was done. Then he got his cotton gloves and brushed away the straw it was packed in.

Inside was a penis.

"It looks like a giant stone dildo," blurted Neve.

Dr. Lain's cheek had a faint blush, but he shook his head.

"The Sumerians wouldn't have considered this phallus erotic," he said. "It would've just been a symbol of fertility to them, probably on a statue of some god."

"It's so lifelike, though," observed Neve.

"Well, they'd want to

honor

the god as best they could," explained Dr. Lain. "But it's just a piece of the body."

"Why isn't this in a museum?" she asked.

"We have a museum," said Dr. Lain.

"We have a climate controlled room on the first floor with some display cases and a lot of pieces of chipped rocks and potshards," said Neve.

"

Ancient tools

and potshards," corrected Dr. Lain.

"Which most people can't tell from chipped rocks," said Neve.

"Your passion for this field is inspiring," said Dr. Lain, but he grinned all the same.

"Why is it so big?" Neve asked.

The phallus wasn't exactly an unreasonable size, but it was quite large. Larger than any man Neve had ever met. Or seen, maybe. She could only imagine meeting a man packing such a cock in his pants, how it would feel stretching her open. Ramming into her, again and again from behind, her ass in the air, her moaning as she finally collapsed forward and just let him have her. Her pussy throbbed, and she blushed.

If Dr. Lain noticed the flush in her cheeks, he pretended not to.

"I'm sure the ancient artists exaggerated it for effect," he said.

Goddamit

, Neve thought. What a horrible time to get horny. It was just a phallus. It wasn't even the real thing.

"Maybe the Sumerians were all just really hung," Neve joked, without thinking about who she was talking to.

Dr. Lain laughed.

"It's an interesting contention, Ms. Saunders," he said. "Maybe you'll find some archaeological evidence of it when it comes your time to do field work."

Neve laughed too, the idea of finding a tablet or something that described a merchant's order for, say, bronze cockrings that had to be made larger because the smaller ones didn't sell leaping through her head.

Of course, then there was the idea of an entire culture with beefy cocks, probably sweating in the fields as they raised sesame and wheat, then going to bathe off in the Tigris...

Not again

! thought Neve, as she pushed the idea of a bunch of toned, tanned hung laborers skinny dipping in a river out of her mind.

"Well, I won't have time to examine this properly until tomorrow, I've got papers to edit," said Dr. Lain, putting the phallus back in the crate. "It should be safe out here in this room, since it's temperature controlled. But keep an eye on it, will you, Neve?"

"Yes sir!" said Neve as he walked towards his office. "Not a problem!"

"Thank you!" called the professor, as he closed the door.

***

The phallus sat in its crate for the rest of the day, and for some reason Neve found herself glancing at it occasionally. It was remarkably well preserved, and Neve would almost say

detailed

, even. And it was distractingly large.

She needed to get laid, and soon. This was becoming untenable, she thought. Getting distracted by some hunk of rock that had been chiseled five thousand years ago just because it vaguely resembled a penis.

She resolved to think about something else, she needed to buckle down and do her work anyway. Making sense of the data from the soil layer work from the last excavation, that's what she was supposed to be doing.

And for a while, that's very much what she did, managing to make a fair amount of progress, stopping briefly to go get some dinner, then back to the lab to keep at it, since she was on a roll.

It was nearly 9:30 when she realized she was the only person in the lab. The hallway outside was dark, the cleaning staff had turned off the lights. They'd probably locked the doors, too, not that that would keep her from getting out with her badge. But it always felt strange to be alone in the building. The only light on in a six story science building.

The phallus was still sitting in its box. Still distractingly large.

Neve glanced around again. Sometimes Dr. Lain was still in his office, but she could see that the light was off tonight. He'd gone home, too. She should go home as well. She should get some rest.

But Neve didn't do that.

Instead, she walked over to the box and looked down at the phallus. Then she went and got some gloves and came back. She lifted it up with both hands, careful to make sure it was supported. As she'd thought, it was pretty heavy, being so large and also solid rock. She took it over to the light, turning it over to examine it. There were some markings, cuneiform, around the base. And there were channels that looked for all the world like veins. But that was ridiculous. Phalluses had been discovered belonging to all sorts of civilizations from all different time periods, and none of them had

veins

on them. It took a careful hand and fairly sensitive tools to make that sort embellishment, and Neve had seen ancient Sumerian art. It wasn't exactly what you'd call detailed or accurate.

She held it up again, one hand on the shaft, and one cradling the scrotum, and looked at it again, trying to figure out what it was that was drawing her towards it.

It throbbed in her hands.

Neve almost dropped it in shock, fumbling with it, and catching it, pulling it in close to her chest.

The phallus did nothing, and Neve shook her head. She

really

did need to get laid. That's what was happening here. She was incredibly worked up and tired and had been working too late again when she should be blowing off steam by finding a cute guy to fuck and now her subconscious was making her think a solid rock phallus was throbbing in her hands. Absolutely ridiculous.

She took stock of herself and to her chagrin she realized she'd pressed the phallus right into her cleavage, so the head was poking up just over the tops of her breasts. If anyone had been around...

They might've seen something kind of hot, Neve thought. It looked pretty good from this angle. Her breasts looked big and round in her t-shirt. She wondered what it would look like to someone else. There was a mirror nearby in the lab, and she could just take a glance. She'd actually never had someone put their cock in between her breasts, although a couple of guys had asked, she hadn't been comfortable with it when she was younger, and she was curious what the effect was, what they were trying to get out of it.

She slipped over, turning on one more light so she could see better, still wearing the gloves and holding the phallus against her chest.

She frowned when she got to the mirror. It wasn't quite the full effect, with her t-shirt on.

This time she didn't check for anyone, she just did what she was thinking, reaching into her shirt and pulling each breast out, then pushing the phallus back between them, and looking at her reflection in the mirror. What a great day to decide to not wear a bra.

It looked good, she thought. She looked hot with a huge cock between her tits, like she could do porn kind of hot. The girl in the mirror would fuck you up, she thought, blow your mind and leave you begging for more, even if she got drunk on your massive dick in the meantime.

She was surprised that it

felt

good, too. She'd expected the rock to be fairly scratchy and pitted after five thousand years, but on the sensitive skin on her chest, it actually felt very good, and her nipples hardened in response. She moved it slowly up and down against her chest, to see what that was like.

That

was

kind of scratchy and not great, although she had to admit it looked good as well. She worked up some saliva, then let it dribble out of her mouth onto the top of the phallus, letting her breasts work to distribute it around, spitting until she'd got the whole thing nice and wet, her skin shining and reflective in the mirror.

That felt better, that looked much hotter too.

It actually was really working for her, she was fidgeting with her legs. She could feel how wet she was getting, and if she kept at this, she was going to have a noticeable spot on her jeans.

There was a fleeting wisp of a thought that screamed "what the hell do you think you're doing?" but some enterprising part of her brain lured it into a closet and locked the door. Instead she rushed over to her office chair, reluctantly parting from the phallus to put it down on the desk as she unzipped and wriggled out of her pants. She didn't bother taking them all the way off, just making sure to free one leg, which was harder to do with her sneaker on than she'd thought, but manageable enough. She pulled her panties to one side. She was wet, glistening with anticipation.

She rolled forward and grabbed the phallus, spitting on it again.

She lifted her free leg, putting her foot up on the desk, and lowered the phallus to her waiting pussy. Very slowly, she rested the head against her, and she shuddered just from the touch.

She started to push forward, and when the head slid in all the way, she moaned aloud, then caught herself making so much noise. Holy fuck. It was

big

. But it also felt really good, better than a rock dildo ought to feel, she thought. She pumped it in and out of herself very slowly, letting herself push deeper and deeper each time, gasping every time she slid it in a little further, and then moaning loudly when she finally took it to the base.

Her other hand finally freed, she started to feel up her own bared breasts, squeezing them hard, teasing the nipples as she pumped. She was getting a little more shameless with the moans, but no one was in the building, so what was the problem with it? Especially because just giving into the vocality seemed to make it so much better.

She pulled the glove off her free hand with her teeth, then threw it away, her fingers going to her clit to rub insistent circles around it. She started to pump the phallus harder and harder as she did so.

She glanced over at the mirror again, it was a lot further away again, and it was from the side, but she could still see herself as a woman with her tits out, with both hands working furiously down in her lap. She looked good, and she arched her back a little, pushing her chest out as though it was a special treat for the mirror, though really it was just for her.

Slowly, she eased it out of her, holding it up so it appeared in the mirror, glistening with her juices. She kept her eyes on her own image, then opened her mouth and tongued the head, tasting herself, tasting the saltiness of the stone under it. It looked hot, and she wondered how much of it could fit in her mouth. It was pretty large, but not ridiculously so.

She opened her lips, easing it into her mouth, tasting herself. She paused when it felt like it was stretching her mouth too much, then pulled it out, seeing how far she'd made it. She had both hands on it now, feeding it into her mouth, trying to see if she could beat the distance she'd just made, then again, and again, and soon she was fucking her own mouth with the huge stone phallus. Her mouth got wetter and wetter, her chest glistening with the spit dripping down.

She could have sworn it throbbed again.

She went the deepest she'd managed, nearly choking herself, then pulled it out of her, saliva dripping off the head and onto her chest in a big string where it slipped down between her cleavage and into her navel when she finally had it freed. Her pussy was throbbing, begging to be filled again.

She shoved it between her thighs, taking it to the hilt in one stroke, pumping it into her in long, languid strokes. Neve began to speed them up as the urgency grew, her body humming with pleasure as her pussy was filled with the stone phallus over and over, every nook and cranny of the rock texture hitting exactly the right spot for her. It felt unbelievably good. Dr. Lain had said the Sumerians would consider this just a thing, but it did make the perfect dildo.

Once again she moaned aloud, picking up the pace just a little more.

The phallus throbbed again, this time inside her.

The dam burst when it did, and Neve screamed at the top of her lungs as she climaxed, the orgasm ripping through her, but her hands not stopping as she rode the crest of it. Her chest heaved as she came, and finally she couldn't keep it going, letting the phallus sit still, pushed into the bottom as her pussy clenched around it and Neve shuddered through the aftershocks. Holy fuck, that was good. Holy fuck, she needed that.

Holy fuck, what the fuck had she done?

Despite the altitude of her high, Neve crashed back to earth extremely quickly, and she pulled the phallus from her pussy as fast as she could, springing up from the chair. She'd just been fucking herself silly with an ancient artifact that had traveled thousands of years and thousands of miles to get to this lab. That was on

loan

to her professor. And she'd been screaming in the building, no way to know if anyone was in here with her.

She threw the phallus back in its straw in the crate. She knew she should clean it, the whole point of the gloves was to not get the oils from her skin on it, and she'd been fucking titfucking herself with it, blowing it, and then actually fucking herself with it. It definitely had oils on it, plus a lot more. But she didn't have time. She had to get out of here in case anyone had heard and was coming. Had heard her coming in the fucking science center.

She forced her foot, stupid sneaker slowing her down, back through her pant leg, pulling her jeans up. She ran over to where she'd been working, notebook and laptop and charger and phone all getting crammed into her backpack.

She practically ran all the way back to her dorm, completely embarrassed at what she'd done. What the heck had come over her?

Her roommate was gone, probably out fucking her boyfriend. Neve needed a boyfriend to fuck her brains out, she thought. No, she just needed someone to fuck her brains out. She'd been working too hard and this was the price she paid for it, doing something completely inappropriate and out of character.

She stripped off her jeans and climbed into bed. She also hadn't been getting enough sleep, she thought. That's what this all was: too much work, not enough sleep, not enough fun, not enough sex, and it had all come bursting out like she was Jack Nicholson in

The Shining

only instead of trying to murder her family, she'd made a fool of herself with a Sumerian phallus.

She'd go to bed early tonight, get a full night's sleep, then figure it out in the morning.

***

Neve was naked and she could feel the clawed hands on her body, one stroking along her waist, tickling her thighs, squeezing her ass, one reaching around her front, a large pinky stroking gently across her navel before the hand reached up to heft one of her breasts, rolling the nipple between the tips of its fingers. Lips kissed her neck, and she sighed as a long, forked tongue licked up her neck and tickled her jaw. She reached a hand up, and found a horn, which she held onto as her mysterious lover continued to explore her body with his hands and mouth. Dimly she was aware she ought to have been horrified, but everything about it felt natural, soothing, right. He stepped closer to her now, and she could feel two long hard cocks pressing into the small of her back. She reached behind her with her other hand, stroking one of them. Her lover gave a soft growl of appreciation, the hand that had been squeezing her ass slipping between her legs to cup her pussy, feeling how she was dripping for him. Both his hands fell to her thighs, and he lifted her into the air like she weighed nothing at all, spreading her legs apart. He held her there, leaning forward over her shoulder, the forked tongue snaking its way into her mouth, wrestling with her tongue for a moment. Then he lowered her onto one of his thick cocks, the other pressing up against Neve's clit as she sank down the shaft.

There wasn't anything slow or careful about this, this was needy, hard, rough fucking, Neve reaching both hands up to grab onto his horns and keep herself steady as he plunged up into her, moaning the whole time. He let one of her legs go, running his large hand across her breasts, using his thumb and little finger to play with both her nipples at once.

"You will be mine," he growled. "You will be mine."

She felt him pulse inside her, and she moaned in appreciation as she realized he was coming, filling her up with one cock, while the other pulsed against her, cum dripping down her stomach and the shaft. Then her own orgasm caught her like a truck, and she screamed as hard as she could again, just as she had in the lab.

***

Neve startled awake. It took her a moment to realize where she was, in her dorm room bed. It'd been a dream. Just a dream. She was getting fucking nuts about this sex stuff, she realized. First abusing an artifact, now dreaming about demon guys with two dicks. She had to take a mental health day or something, because this was getting ridiculous.

She stretched and rolled over in bed.

Sitting on top of her phone was a little man. His skin was a dark maroon, and between his legs was a pair of, proportionally, thick cocks, one stacked on top of the other. On top of his head were a pair of long, wide horns, like an ox's. All in all, he was no bigger than the little bottle of ibuprofen kept on her bedside table. He seemed kind of bored, and then he turned and saw Neve looking at him.

"Oh, good," he said, perking up considerably and popping to his feet. "You're up!"

And then Neve screamed again.