"Let me see you in college love."
Wow look at that ridiculous hairdo. Not a good look I can't believe we dressed like that. Wait until I remind Ronnie about that ugly purple velor jumpsuit she thought was so sexy. Ewwww. I can see all the time I spent studying while Ronnie was partying. She had fun in college. I wasn't there for fun, I had work to do. I had to make good grades. I get to a memory of Ronnie introducing me to that loser Derrick. What a sorry ass he was. We never even made it to the first date. Jack ass!
"Show me what high school was like for you Natalie?"
High school. I hated high school. I don't want to remember high school. My mom died when I had just started. There's our old house. We used to have a great time there, just me and her. She was so cool. She used to always seem to know when I was coming or when the phone would ring. We did the craziest stuff late at night. She would want to go swimming late at night or wake up and eat oat meal cookies and coke at 2 in the morning. Then one day she was gone. I flash to that day. I am walking to the house and I see a strange woman standing on the porch and a cop car parked at the curb. She meets me at the walkway and tells me that I have to go with her. She wouldn't even let me go in the house to get my stuff. She tells me there was an accident and that I my mom was hurt really bad, that she didn't make it and that I would be going into foster care. I hated her and the police officer. I just stared straight ahead and never said another word to her. I stopped listening and I replayed memories from my favorite times with my mother.
I changed schools then and went to my first foster home. It was a middle aged couple with two other foster kids, a little girl and a boy about my age. It wasn't so bad in the beginning. I still only spoke when necessary. Then there is darkness like somebody turned out the lights. I can feel Conall pushing a little harder and speaking to me.
"Love I need you to relax and let me go further. I am here and will help you no matter what we find."
I feel my heart rate pick and I get that cold clammy feeling you get when you're really afraid, but I relax so he can push forward. I see my old crappy room. I'm laying on my bed and Frank, the other foster kid, came in. He is asking me a question. What is he saying? I try to focus on his voice.
"Did they tell you what happened to your mom? They said it was bloody in the house and that's why you couldn't go in. They said she was ripped up like something from a horror film. She was in pieces."
I'm watching this exchange and I can remember it. I can remember him saying this stuff to me. He said they believed it was the work of a serial killer because she was the ninth woman they found hacked up like that, but they couldn't figure out a murder weapon. He said that the guy was traveling the US hacking women to pieces and nobody knew who he was and that he was going to come and get me too. That's when I looked at him and I threw him across the room into a wall. He slumped to the floor unconscious. I was so scared that I grabbed my jacket and ran. I slept on a park bench for a couple of days and then the police found me and they took me back to my foster parents. I wouldn't stay there though I just kept running. I remember being in four different homes now. I thought it was only two, but it was four. I saw myself using my powers a few times. I moved things and I could throw people around. I saw myself start a fire in a trash can, I'm a fire starte. I got really mad once with a girl in school and hit her with some kind of force from my hands. She feel to the floor and cracked her head wide open. Blood was everywhere. They came and took her to the hospital and when they asked me what happened I lied. She couldn't remember what happened, but she never was mean to me again. I guess that was why I didn't know I was a witch. I just buried it deep like everything else and never thought about it again.
11th grade was the beginning of a turn around for me. I was in the last foster home. A woman name Miranda Blake. She was tough. She told me she wouldn't tolerate my crap and that she knew I had had a tough break, but that was no excuse for messing up my future. She told me she expected me to apply myself and get good grades and she wouldn't except anything less. She was strong and capable. She was a successful woman with her own house and car. Nobody controlled her and I liked that. Her life was her own. I remember now how I decided that she was everything I wanted to be. That's when the Natalie of today was born. I gained an overwhelming need to be in control. I didn't ever want to be dependant on anybody.
"Natalie wake up."
"Wow that was kinda intense," I said.
"It helped to explain some things. We can talk about it tomorrow though. Right now I want to hold my mate and sleep."
"We can talk about it now."
"No I want to think some more about everything I saw and also give you sometime to process it. You remembered some really harsh stuff. Let's just relax and go over it tomorrow."
"Conall I appreciate that you want to help me, but we don't have to wait until tomorrow. Honestly, I am okay. We can talk now."
"I am not trying to protect you if that is what you are thinking. I really need to think about what I saw. Your memories raised some questions for me."
"Like....?"
"You won't let this go will you?"
"Nope."
"Okay. You remembered that somebody told you that your mom was ripped apart. I wanted to do some checking to see if Crandle was anywhere in the US when it happened to her and the others. Or even if there were others."
"And...........?"
"I was also going to check with the elders to find out what is the safest way to bring your powers out. I don't want to cause you any trauma in doing it."
"Were you planning on asking me to be apart of any of this?"
"Yes I was. At least the magic part. I wanted to do the research on your mother and the others alone. I wanted to shield you from as much of the unpleasantness as possible."
"I appreciate that, but I think I have shielded myself from the unpleasantness too much. If I had dealt with this stuff when I was younger I would have a handle on who I am and not be completely loss now. At least in respect to me being a witch."
"Alainn I am afraid that you are going to crack. This was a lot of information to take in or remember. At some point the weight of it all is going to be too much. I just want to give you time to digest it all and then deal with it."
"I know and I'm scared, but I need a distraction."
"We can deal with it together."
"I never had anyone to help me deal with problems since my mother died. Ronnie is my best friend and there are things that I never even shared with her. I don't really know how to do that, how to be open and vulnerable with another person. It scares me."
"It is quite alright, I will teach you. You are not alone anymore Natalie. You have me to help you through all of the really hard stuff and you have the pack that will always be there too."
That's when I started crying. I cried for my mother and my lost childhood and everything else that was out of whack. The only thing that I was certain about was Conall. I held on to him for dear life as I finally purged myself of all of my anger, hate, and insecurities. He just sat there and held me and stroked my hair.
Conall
My heart hurt. My wolf was howling in agony as we watch our beloved break. I didn't want her to have to experience the pain that she was dealing with now. She was trying to be so strong and brave, but I could feel the despair, uncertainty, and fear through our bond. There were so many question still left unanswered. Did Crandle kill her mother? What about the other women that had been murdered?
In order for Natalie to be a dream witch her blood line had to have been very powerful. How do we deal with that? From what I saw in her memories she is powerful, but has no control. She would have to learn control and right now she felt anything but.
I needed to protect Natalie from this Crandle. He very well could have killed those women and could want to kill Natalie too. There are way too many unanswered questions and loose ends. I watched Natalie work through her emotions. I could feel her determination through our bond. She was determined to find the answers to the many questions that hung in the air. Pulling herself together she asked,"Conall, do you think he killed my mother? It that possible?"
"Yes, I think that it is possible. I think he is responsible for the deaths of all of those women. I also think they were somehow related to you or to the original coven that cursed him. There is much that we need to know and much that we need to do."