I couldn't keep myself from nervously twirling my finger through my ponytail as I waited at Luke's door. Neither of us seemed like great talkers, but I wasn't exactly going to turn to Denny for emotional support, and as far as I knew, Rizen was on her shift on the other side of town.
So here I was, biting my lip as I knocked once more, my foot tapping against the wood floor, anxious to turn around and leave- and then the door swung open, Luke's frame filling the space in front of me despite being slouched, his hand pressed against the wall by the door, the other rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he let go of the door handle.
"I uh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have, I'm sorry to bother, I'll-" He put up a calloused hand, cutting me off before beckoning me inside. "No, Ceri... Thank you for coming to see me. I'm sure it's been a tough first week for you here." He sighed, lifting the hem of his shirt to wipe at his face, revealing a glimpse of his well kept abs for but a moment before his eyes met mine again. I couldn't help but blush. I hadn't thought of him that way, he was more of a father figure than anything, but it would be stupid to say the man wasn't incredibly attractive, even at his age. His auburn hair was even more unkempt than usual, and there were faint hints of stubble lining his defined jawline. He had definitely just woken up when I knocked, despite it being well past ten.
I took a quick look around his room, feeling like I was in some kind of forbidden space. And yet it was rather boring. A bed sat against one wall with a window overlooking the ocean right behind it, letting in the natural light to illuminate the space. On the opposite wall was a large desk and a couple of shelves, every inch of available space crammed with vials, herbs, and other magical ingredients.
Potion crafting? I had been here a week, yet not done much more than sulk in my room that entire time. I felt guilty that I hadn't even gotten to know the littlest things about the man who had taken in me in. He gestured for me to take the seat at his desk before he walked back to his bed, slowly setting himself down. I realized then that besides from the white t-shirt he was wearing, all he had on was a pair of grey underwear, and I was struggling to keep my eyes up from the obvious large bulge in them.
"So tell me." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs, thankfully obscuring his crotch for my distracted brain. "Is this about Merlou?"
I nodded, hesitated, then nodded again. "Yes, but, I don't know... not all of it..." I hadn't really thought about what I wanted to say. Especially since I wasn't going to reveal what my conversation was really about with her. "She said, she was here on behalf on Maple, that she was supposed to take me to work with her."
Luke's eyes went wide. It was rare to see him emote at all, so what I said must have been really shocking. "Ah... no, that can't be... from Maple..? No wonder she was so mad when she left last night..." He stopped as soon as he saw the confusion on my face. It was obvious there was more to this than what I had originally thought. "Ceri... Merlou and Maple, they're from the Pink Rose."
I nodded. Was that it? "Yeah, so I was told-"
"-No, you don't understand. the Pink Rose... it's not some regular whorehouse. I'm sure you've heard stories of it no matter where you're from, but... an invitation from Maple- well, she's the host of the goddess herself."
"As in... Vesna?" I watched as he nodded confirmation. The goddess of lust herself. I knew she had blessed the island, taken protection over it, but to take a mortal form- no, to invite me to work with her...
"I... I turned down an invitation from a goddess."
"Well... from one of her disciples, at least- but do not fret. The goddess sees all, she'll know why you said no. It's alright. I can talk to her instead if she returns." Luke promised, his voice much stronger than it was a moment ago, his gaze searing into mine, as if trying to reassure me through his eyes.
"Listen... she knows better than anyone that what you went through was wrong, that it can leave one hating all sex forever. That's why the collars exist. To ensure that never happens here."
I felt my stomach churn as I remembered how the vampire had come onto me. "No, that's part of the problem... I don't hate it, I mean, I- want to, I just-"
I spilled out my feelings as I told him everything that had happened. How gross I felt when Merlou climbed on top of me, how much I hated the idea of it, but then became so unbelievably turned on watching Ferli get pounded, finding myself wishing I was there in her place, how confusing it all was. I kept blabbering on, tears starting to form and fall as every thought that I had was layed out in front of him, begging him to help me pick up the pieces. I stood up from the chair, hesitantly joining him in his bed, wrapping my arms around his waist as I wiped my tears against his shoulder, burying my face against his arm.
Butterflies flew in my stomach as he wrapped his arm around me, gently rubbing my side with his calloused hand- I felt like I was going to throw up. Was I using my own trauma, his empathy to get closer to him? I didn't think so, but in that moment everything felt so uncertain. But it felt a lot better crying in his arms than across the room from him.
Luke sat still, doing nothing more than simply massaging my side as I rambled, listening attentively. We sat in silence for a minute after I finished, before he finally spoke up. "It sounds like you want to push past this. That's good, but you're expecting too much from yourself. Everyone handles these things differently. Take it slow, do what feels right, and don't ever be afraid to stop when it doesn't okay?"
I nodded. It seemed kind of obvious when he put it like that. I looked up, wiping the last tears from my eyes as he stood up, walking in his slow, careful way to the bar and back, handing me a cup of water. "And don't feel bad about relying on me. I owe Rizen a debt, and caring for you is helping me repay that. You'll be back on your feet in no time. And if you don't want to keep this job, or join the Pink Rose, there's tons of opportunities."
I realized something from those words that had been nagging me before. I took a long drink of the water before bringing myself to ask. "Why are you here? On the island, I mean. I haven't even seen you naked, much less sleeping around."
He chuckled, scratching at his stubble as his eyes found the ceiling, seeming to look beyond it into the sky above. "I'm in my forties now, Ceri... you'll learn eventually, us humans age a lot faster than some of the other races here. My wife and I... we settled here back when we were younger, more lustful. Very few other places accept marriages like ours, across races. So that's why I stayed, even after she passed. She asked me to move on when she died, to find someone new to make me happy, but..." He trailed off, his voice growing softer as he remembered his time together with her.
"Oh.. um, I'm sorry, I didn't-"
"Ceri, please, it's alright. I'm happy now, caring for you all, practicing my mixology in alcohol and potions, seeing my staff grow up into their own... that hole you told me about- the one between your room and Ferli's- that's from the woman who was here before you. Well, her horn, at least. And now she lives out in the town, selling in the market."
His blue eyes twinkled as a small smile appeared over his lips. "Katarina is her name. Katarina Aleksov. You should go see her, it might do you some good to get out of this place for once, live your life and make new friends. You don't want some tired old man as your only friend, now, do you?" His smile widened as he teased me.
~~~
Although I was incredibly nervous, I couldn't help but smile to myself as I walked down the cobbled road toward the market in the center of town. The streets were busy as the sun grew closer to midday, beating down from above as the winds blew in a fresh sea breeze. I couldn't help but feel like a foreigner, unable to stop myself from staring at every sexual act, from the simple things, like a twelve foot tall ogre with a raging hard on bigger than my arm just casually walking down the road, to the orgy of a mess of different races all sweating together in a side alley. If there was one thing that Luke said that was true, it was that this place did not stigmatize interactions between races.
But the visual stimulation only intensified as I reached the market square, dozens of stalls spread out haphazardly with shouting in several languages I'd never even heard before all comingling together. As I approached the bustling crowds, ducking under the swaying tail of a dragon, I wished I had chosen a larger form for myself instead of a human girl.
And yet it was exhilarating, seeing so many people together like this, of every conceivable shape and size, selling things I'd never even heard before. I had always stuck to humanoid towns, where the occasional rarer half-breed like a lizard or birdkin was the strangest thing you'd see.
Finally, after minutes of searching, I arrived at where Luke had directed me, a small single person stall with a simple white and black tarp overhead, stationed by a woman who seemed much too large to fit underneath it.
"Uh.. um, excuse me, are you, uh, Miss Aleksov?" I stammered as I made my way out of the crowd, finding myself standing directly in front of her.
I couldn't keep my mouth closed. Whatever picture of a cowkin I had created in my head... she was twenty times more erotic.