Sir Reynald of Corria.
The title hovered over my head like a mark of shame.
What was once a great honor and a promise of protection of the values we held, felt like a farce now. I had defiled one of the chief god's most valiant defenders, a Valkyrie of the holy order. I felt like I had betrayed everything we paladins were supposed to stand for.
I tried to get my mind off it. The very morning after the night of our union, I decided to get up early. Maybe some fresh air and cool water would get my mind clear again. But every time, every single second my mind wandered, it went straight to her.
How unfair it was for our Chief God to set a creature of such unattainable beauty unto this earth and punish us for desiring to be close with them. Celeste occupied my every thought. The way she smiled, danced, played with the kids... and the way she lay under me, naked and... "NO! For heaven's sake, you're a knight, Reynald!"
My outburst went unheard in the fields of grain. A scythe rested weightily in my hands but had come to a standstill. I rubbed my eyes, shooing these intrusive thoughts out of my mind. What was I thinking? Celeste was an angel, a literal one at that and I kept picturing her in these depraved situations. It was a love deeper than anything I'd ever felt but wrong all the same.
I hadn't seen her since morning, leaving early as to not face her in my shame. The only thing I dreaded more than the certainty of my God's scorn, was the possibility of seeing her regret. Was I truly a good enough man to be in the presence of such a divine being, let alone be in her heart. I'd treated her like she was a normal human girl for the past few days. Maybe because I'd liked to believe she was.
They were foolish thoughts. Right now, we may be guests at this farm, but soon we would have to return to our duties. A day I dreaded more with every passing moment.
I picked and bound a bundle of wheat, shouldering it and carrying it back to the barn. It was harvesting season and gladly, though I was no expert, it seemed plentiful enough to prepare the family for the winter. God only knows how long they'd need to hold out here. I hadn't heard news from Corria since I'd gotten here. For all I knew, it could have fallen to the succubi, but if it did, the corruption sure took its time to spread if it hadn't spread here.
"Over here, Reynald! Put it int the attic with the others!" I put on a smile as I saw Corinthia approaching. She had been kind enough to give me and Celeste a home here; she deserved to be spared from the horrors of war.
"Alright, alright, I'm coming." I followed her into the barn, climbing the shoddy ladder up to the upper level and stuffed the grain with the overflowing rest of it. I smiled down at her as I leaned on the wooden steps. "You've got a good yield this year. Your cows are certainly going to be happy."
She was looking over the stuffed attic and nodded. "I'm sure they will be, Reynald." A relieved smile crossed her lips as the exhaustion of the harvest season left her body and she slumped onto a bail of hay. "Haaa... I can't thank you enough, dear paladin. You really didn't need to go to such lengths to help out a simple farmer."
I scoffed, stepping off the ladder as I wiped some grains off my white linen shirt. "Don't say that. It's the least me and Celeste can do. Would have met an early grave had you not picked us up. It's... a fair change of pace actually. It feels like a vacation at times compared to service."
Quickly, she shot me a glance and smugly grinned at me. "Speaking of the little lady..."
I gulped.
She crossed her legs and rested her elbow on her knee. "...there's more than duty binding the two of you, isn't there?"
"I... don't follow. Celeste is my guardian angel. We are bound by divination... protection and umm... partnership." I turned to her, waving my hands in denial like a moron, making my fluster even more obvious. "But there is nothing else between us, I swear."
She gave one short chuckle before her crooked smirk grew more haughty. "Whatever you say, noble knight. Seemed to me like there was a whole lot of nothing going on between you in the barn last night."
My heart sank into my stomach as the embarrassment hit me like a carriage. Vivid memories of our loud moans and cries rushed through my mind. I tried to hide the extent of my shame, and badly at that, scratching and biting my cheek. "You... you heard that, did you?"
Corinthia could no longer contain herself and burst out laughing. "Hahaha! Oh, don't worry about it!" She covered her mouth, feigning coyness.
While my face was burning up and I yelled at her, it seemed any sort of reaction I gave just spurred her laughter more. "What do you mean don't worry?! I've shamed myself for the rest of my life with what I did! I... I do not deserve to take this lightly." Walking backwards, I was stopped by a pole. I rested the back of my head against it. "I'm an affront to everything our order is supposed to stand for."
With tears in her eyes and a nonchalant attitude, she leaned toward me and blankly asked me the question I was least prepared for. "Well? Do you regret it?"
"Uh...huh..." The wind was suddenly taken out of my sails. "Regret it?" I mulled the word over in my head. Duty and faith would set a clear answer to that question. However... "I... I can't say that. I know Celeste more now than I ever have before. She was my guardian angel so she was always very important to me but now... it's something more. Something I can't put into words. She loves to sing and dance, she loves kids, she's a hard worker and most of all... she makes my worries seem so small when I'm with her. How could I bring myself to say that I regret any of that?"
She smiled, clearly satisfied and leaned back against the shoddy wooden wall with crossed arms. "It's just as I thought then."
I combed through my short, blonde hair. "Which is?"
The farmer giggled. "You love each other. I saw her this morning, Reynald. Since she's been here, I haven't seen her genuinely smile even once. But now, she carries herself with a spring in her step. Even despite her injuries, she seems more alive than she's probably ever been before the accident."
"B... but she always seemed to be happy to me."
Corinthia pouted a little and smacked me on the head. I hissed for a second before I heard her scold me. "Of course you think that, silly. Did you not notice? She always smiled when she was around you. God, you men are impossible sometimes." She held her forehead in over-dramatized exasperation which soon melted into another warm smile. "My husband used to be just like you. Never picking up on any hints we give you." She sighed as she shook her head.
My heart soared, growing light. "You mean... even back then..." My words trailed off as a grin crept up on my lips. It wasn't even intentional, but I couldn't help it.
"Listen, Reynald..." I faced her again as she took on a more serious tone. Her stern expression supported her words. She knelt down and put a hand on my lap as her eyes stared into mine. "... you've been so preoccupied with your duty and what you two should be, that you forgot to live. Be your roles as important as they may be. Every now and again, you need to allow yourself to be human."
I absorbed her words. She was right. Despite being so close all the time, it is only now that we allowed ourselves to care, that we actually knew each other. And if our God is truly loving, and me and Celeste genuinely loved each other, he would hardly stand between us, would he?
Her gentle hand rested on my leg, however not for long, as I quickly got up, spirits high. I patted myself down, taking a deep breath and extending a hand to help Corinthia get up. "Thank you. I mean it. It's the kind of reassurance I really needed right now."
She closed her eyes and smiled with a cute shrug. "Don't mention it. She's off to gather water." She gave me a quick, motherly hug and patted my chest to tell me to go. "Make her happy. It's your new duty after all."
I puffed my chest, proud of my new task, and nodded before leaving the barn and heading off towards the lake. Fall was quickly approaching and the trodden path was lined with reddening leaves. The chilly winds seemed to carry me towards Celeste. It was like divine guidance that led me toward her, bolstering my convictions that I was doing the right thing. My doubts and fears were pushed to the furthest reaches of my mind.
We all know how stories of pride and ignorance tend to play out.
At that moment though, I was more occupied by the sight before me as I reached the lake. In a long -sleeved, white shirt, royal blue corset and long white skirt with sandals, there she stood. It was hard to remain unbiased when I tell you that she was the pinnacle of radiance. Something only scriptures used to tell of. Her long, platinum-blonde hair swayed in the wind as she knelt by the water, scooping it into a large, wooden pail. She was humming a sweet little tune, a hymn from what I could gather, with a gentle smile on her lips. If ever there was an image of natural, serene beauty, it was the one right in front of me.
I leaned against a shedding acorn tree just watching her from afar. It was a somewhat uneasy feeling I felt when I looked at her. I couldn't tell if it was adoration, anxiety or remaining worry. Calling out to her, felt like I would be breaking the magic of the scenery. However, I didn't need to. Her enchanting, blue eyes wandered until they spotted me in the shade of the tree. My breath halted for a moment when her small, narrow mouth opened into a wide smile and she waved at me. I gave her a smile of my own and waved back.
It was insanely cute how she came running, arms wide open, throwing them around my neck as I caught her. I spun her around, resting our chins on each other's shoulders until I set her down again.
She was beaming at me, holding the sides of my head. "There you are! You had me worried all morning!" With a small pout, she pulled on my ear.
I laughed. "What was there to be worried about? Did you think the squirrels got me?"
"No, you dummy!" She smacked me on the forehead, barely hard enough to sting but hard enough to get the message. "You weren't there when I woke up. I thought... you know." She pressed her cheek to my chest, clinging to me. "I thought you changed your mind about... what we did. I don't know much about the matters of the heart yet, but when you disappeared, I know it ached. I'm smart enough to know that much at least."
I wanted to feel bad, truly I did. But when I looked down at her, sulking with a puffed up cheek, I started cracking up a little. "Hehe, you're pretty worked up about it, huh?" I said, wrapping my hand around her hips.
She punched my chest, again so softly as if she were afraid to break me. "It's insensitive is what it is. I thought you might've run off back to Corria without me." She was visibly upset. It was a way more serious fear of hers than I thought. "It's not fair. You've already got my heart. It would be so easy for you to run off with it."