Mar

1 The beginning of the gospel of Jesus Cum, the Son of Godcock;

2 As it is written in the pornos, Behold, I send my messenger before thy face, his cock hard and throbbing, which shall prepare thy anal way before thee.

3 The voice of one crying out in ecstasy in the wilderness, Prepare ye the way of the Lord, make his paths straight and his dick hard.

4 John did baptize with cum in the wilderness, and preach the baptism of cum for the emission of more cum.

5 And there went out unto him all the sluts of the land of Judaea, and they of Jerusalem, and were all bukkaked of him in the river of Jordan, confessing how much they loved anal.

6 And John was clothed with camel's hair, and with a girdle of a skin about his loins; and he did eat locusts and wild honey, and his cock was like that of a donkey;

7 And preached, saying, There cometh one mightier than I after me for sloppy seconds, the latchet of whose jockstrap I am not worthy to stoop down and unloose.

8 I indeed have baptized you with cum: but he shall baptize you with Holy Cum (and maybe piss if you are into that).

9 And it came to pass in those days, that Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee, and fucked John up the ass, and then John fucked him and then they just cuddled there for a while in Jordan.

10 And straightway coming up out of the water, he saw John's butthole gaped open, and his musky balls descending upon him:

11 And there came a voice from heaven, saying, You did good, Kid. You fuck like a goddamn machine.

12 And immediately the spirit driveth him into the wilderness.

13 And he was there in the wilderness forty days, tempted of Satan, who was hot and had both a wiener and a pussy; and was with the wild beasts; and the angels ministered unto him, jerking off his hog for him.

14 Now after that John was put in prison and became Barabbas's bitch, Jesus came into Galilee, preaching the gospel of the kingdom of God,

15 And saying, The time is fulfilled, daddy's here and it's time to bend over and grab your toes.

16 Now as he walked by the sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and Andrew his brother playing grabass: for they were perverts.

17 And Jesus said unto them, That shit is hot; Come ye after me, and I will make you to become fishers of hot, well-hung men.

18 And straightway they forsook their nets, and followed him, enjoying the view of his shapely ass as they followed.

19 And when he had gone a little farther thence, he saw James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother, who also were in the ship doing the nasty.

20 And straightway he called them: and they left their father Zebedee in the ship jerking his hog with the hired servants licking at his nuts, and went after him.

21 And they went into Capernaum; and straightway on the sabbath day he entered into the synagogue, and began rubbing one out in front of everyone.

22 And they were astonished at his dick: for he never broke eye contact, just going to town on his meat monster in like a madman.

23 And there was in their synagogue a man with an unclean spirit; and he cried out,

24 Saying, Let me suck your cock, thou Jesus of Nazareth! Art thou come to destroy my butthole or not? I know thee how hard you fuck all the sissy bitches like me.

25 And Jesus rebuked him, saying, Hold my nuts, and I'll come on your face, you little faggot bitch.

26 And then he licked at his nuts and Jesus did shoot hot ropes all over the man's face.

27 And they were all amazed, insomuch that they questioned among themselves, saying, What thing is this? How can he cum so much and still be hard?

28 And immediately his fame spread abroad throughout all the region round about Galilee, and everyone took video of it on their phones and posted it online.

29 And forthwith, when they were come out of the synagogue, they entered into the house of Simon and Andrew, with James and John, all of them hard and ready to fuck.

30 But Simon's wife's mother lay sick of a fever in her pussy, and anon they tell him of her.

31 And he came and took her by the hand, which she had been using to finger her sloppy little twat all day, and lifted her up; and immediately the fever left her, and she chugged all their cocks and rubbed them against each other.

32 And at even, when the sun did set, they brought unto him all that were horny, and them that were hypnotized by sissy porn and craving dick.

33 And all the city was gathered together at the door.

34 And he fucked and sucked and fucked all night and came floods.

35 And in the morning, rising up, still hard as a rock, he went out, and departed into a solitary place, and there fingered his own butt.

36 And Simon and they that were with him followed after him and watched.

37 And when they had found him, they said unto him, All men and women seek for thee.

38 And he said unto them, Let's go, bitches. These nuts are getting full.

39 And he fucked and sucked throughout all Galilee, and came hot ropes.

40 And there came a sissy to him, beseeching him, and kneeling down to him, and saying unto him, I'll deepthroat you if you shrink my sissy clit.

41 And Jesus, moved with compassion, put forth his hand, and touched him, and saith unto him, suck my cock, bitch.

42 And as soon as he had spoken, immediately the cock had shrunk, and, lo, it was a truly sissy clit.

43 And he straitly charged her, and forthwith sent her away;

44 And saith unto her, Don't talk anymore unless it's to tell a man you'll suck his cock. Go expose yourself and show everyone how much of a fucking slut you are. Show everyone your asspussy.

45 But she went out, and began to publish it much, and totally blabbed to everyone about his monster hog and everybody kept getting up on his nuts.