+++++Author's Notes+++++
As always this story is very much about sex, but be warned there are over 6000 words before anyone actually gets naked this chapter. No hard feelings if you're not that patient.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"This is fake," the bouncer said, barely looking at Rosmerta's proffered ID.
He had a good eye. The magical illusion had only been generated when my succubus's hand went into her (also illusory) purse.
She made puppy eyes that would have given me heart palpitations if I'd caught them head on, but the bouncer was unswayed even when Rosie leaned forward to display more cleavage. I pulled her out of the club's line before she caused too many public erections.
"I really thought that would work," Rosie said with a frown.
"You could totally pass for 21," I said without much conviction. "Maybe he's, like, got an instinct for magic? Sensed the bad juju coming off you?"
"He's gay," she said with the casual certainty of a demon specializing in Lust.
I gestured helplessly around the riverside plaza. "Well I'm not flirting with him so I guess Sunday's is out. I'll have to text Warren."
"No, that sucks!"
"Yeah, you dressed conservatively and everything," I snarked.
It had been an odyssey to convince Rosie to wear something that would keep her lady parts hidden in the event of stairs or a stiff breeze. We'd eventually compromised with a slinky green dress, calf-hugging stockings, and 4-inch heels that she handled with the ease of a red carpet actress. The dress wasn't so bad apart from the slits in the sides or the nipples pressing themselves against the fabric like gawking children at the zoo. No, it was the dark green collar that had me worried.
"It's a
choker
," she had insisted. "Lace, very classy. Trust me, I'm a woman."
"No you're not."
"I'm female, it counts. And if I don't wear this, how can I show people that you own me?" I'd gurgled a little bit at that, and Rosie had batted her eyelashes at me. "There'll be other guys at the club, you know. Don't want them stealing me away from you. Maybe you should keep me on a leash..."
I had conceded that the choker wasn't too awful.
"Alright," Rosie sighed, clapping her hands. "I wasn't sure I'd be strong enough for this yet, but we did break a taboo today, so let's give it a whirl."
"Give what a - "
She took my hand in hers and pulled me tight against her warm body. That was very comfortable indeed, but the blazing green witch-fire in her eyes and the heat-haze shimmer around us was not so. I wondered if this would be the first genuine case of magic to finally make it to Youtube.
"Rosie, stop it now!" I said in my loudest whisper.
"Quiet, master," she whispered back, leading me forward. Her eyes had stopped glowing, but the hazy shimmer remained around us. "We're invisible, not inaudible."
And she led us right past the queue, the bouncer, and into the club.
***
The kiss I received in the foyer upstairs was passionate, heated, and hit my heart like a fistful of cocaine. In other words, it was a pretty standard kiss from Rosmerta. It was very hard to pull away, especially when I opened her eyes and saw her perfect face once more. "I know I'm meant to be more impressed by the superheroics just then," I said, "but you look so fucking beautiful right now."
She frowned. "Hopefully not
too
beautiful when we're out like this. I want to make you look good, not draw all the attention. Tonight's about
you
scoring, remember?"
I stepped in closer to her, not even caring about the other people in the foyer staring. "Pretty sure I've already scored."
"Aw, you're sweet," she grinned, then slapped me on the ass. "Bad Eric. You're at a club, you won't get anywhere with sweet."
"I've got you, don't I?"
"You do," she allowed, "but staying in your bedroom with me for the rest of your life is like - "
"The best way to die of dehydration ever?"
She smirked and tugged me towards the club proper. "Come on. Seduce me a nice, juicy meal and I'll give you a present."
"That's, uh, motivational."
We got some weird looks as we went inside.
Sunday's was a fairly upmarket club, so we weren't blown away by thousand-decibel bass or the stink of sweat as we entered. Saturday was their busiest night (to the disappointment of etymologists everywhere), and not a small percentage of those revellers we passed cut their conversations short to stare at Rosie's ass. She resisted the temptation to wiggle her hips for them, and kept her waist glued to mine.
There was a decent throng massing on the dance floor, and crowds clustered around the two bars like ants on sugar. Rosie said something to me, then repeated it at a yell over the music.
"I'll get some drinks! You find Warren!"
"You'll be okay?"
She didn't dignify that with a response. I, along with four other guys and two of the women with them, watched her ass sway as she walked away.
Half of Sunday's was a massive balcony on the river's edge, dotted with tables, gas heaters and a cocktail bar. Out here you could smoke, sit down, and best of all: hear yourself think.
Warren was playing Waldo, so I stood semi-awkwardly by myself for a few minutes. Clubs weren't really my natural habitat, even if I was hanging out with an apex predator tonight. Rosie captured at least a dozen wandering eyes before finding me at a relatively secluded spot at the edge of the smoker's section. "Drink up!"
"What is it?"
"I asked the bartender for 'something fun'."
I eyed the dark liquid sceptically and took a sip. "Jagerbomb. Mm. That's actually decent."
Rosie took a sip of hers, and gave a moan of pleasure that caused a passing glassie to drop his tray. "Yum! So what's in a Jagerbomb, oh native human of this twenty-first century?"
I snorted. "Hard liquor and caffeine. I thought you had pop culture pretty well down before I summoned you."
"I thought I told you, time isn't quite normal in the Umbra. It's hard to get comprehensive knowledge of the right century of the Fundament, and I wasn't about to get a mixology certification from a demon of Gluttony."
"That's interesting," I said, "and I just thought of another half-dozen questions for The List. But this is the kind of talk that gets us really weird looks."
"Oh, right," Rosie nodded. {Testing, testing!} The pentacle amulet hidden under my shirt warmed and her words appeared in my head as clearly as if she'd spoken them into my ear. {Attention, citizens! I'm a bat-winged demon and I want to fuck my master right here in public! Testing!} Around us, nobody reacted. One guy was ogling Rosie, but he'd been doing so before. She smiled innocently at him. "You see, I can do subtle."
"I can't really mouth replies to you in the middle of a club, though."
"Good! You can focus on chatting up other women," {the ones who don't worship your cock as their one tie to this mortal plane.}
"Point made." I knocked back the rest of the Jagerbomb. "So, there are a few guys staring at you. Hell, a couple of girls too, I think."
"Who wouldn't?"
A dirty little something squirmed in my gut. Considering what I was here for tonight, it really shouldn't have been jealousy. "You, uh, okay with that?"
Rosie rolled her eyes. "Nobody's gonna drag me away from you, don't worry. {Unless she's
way
hot.} Anyway, most guys are intimidated by the crazily attractive chicks; betcha I won't be hit on more than a dozen times tonight."
"Don't get a big head, miss 'crazily attractive,'" I said, "and just remember that men get brave when they're drunk."
"Well I'm sure you'll protect me, stud," she said, leaning against me. "Now, be honest: which of these here fillies strike your fancy? Ooh - " {look at that black girl! Isn't she pulchritudinous?}
"Pulchritudinous?"