MAIL ORDER
I bought it on a whim. One of those "mystery" boxes from those retail websites. My girlfriend of 2 years, Lily, had just left me for a guy at work, maybe he had more money, or a better apartment, I don't know. She broke it off over text, then refused to take my calls. Bitch.
My place is pretty simple. Living room combined with kitchen, 1 bedroom and 1 bathroom. I do have a nice TV with the requisite coffee table and couch in front of it.
I was bored, surfing the web and not finding anything that got my attention when I happened on a mystery box for $200.00. I'd always wondered what kind of crap they put in these...but I always assumed it was just weird or broken stuff. Eyeball massagers or a coffee-stained mouse pad or something. But I figured that for that much money it couldn't totally suck.
The next few days became a boring routine of work, eat, sleep, then work again. Ever since Lily left I seemed to have lost my luster, nothing seemed fun anymore, I didn't want to go out, and I damn sure didn't want to date. My best friend kept on trying to cheer me up, get me out of the house, but I just wasn't interested and he finally gave up.
I'd all but forgotten my impulse purchase when a box arrived on the doorstep. It was about a rectangular box, about 15 inches long and 4 inches to a side. I picked it up and went inside. I tossed in on the couch, and set about making dinner. Hamburger helper had become a bit of a staple. It was easy to make, cheap, and really filled you up. I ate dinner while watching the evening news. More death, the economy still in shambles, inflation at an all-time high, and people trying to convince me to buy their new miracle product. I finished dinner, made myself a drink, and promptly fell asleep watching tv.
I woke up around midnight and stretched. As I did, my eye fell on the box. "Ok", I thought...time to see what it is. Maybe a one-of-a-kind spoon sharpener.
I sliced the packing tape with a knife, and opened it. There was a bunch of packing bubbles around the whatever-it-was so I unwrapped it. It was a 12-inch plastic doll. Like a Barbie. It had pointy elf-like ears, its eyes were closed, and didn't have any clothes. "You probably had to buy clothes separately", I thought sardonically. A $200.00 plastic Barbie with pointy ears. Great. The website explicitly stated "no refunds," so I was just out the money. That's what I get for being impulsive, I thought. I tossed the doll back on the couch and started cleaning up my dishes before going to bed.
I was putting the leftovers in the fridge when a subtle sort of humming sound got my attention. It was coming from the living room and I went to investigate. It seemed to be coming from the doll. I picked it up and it was warm to the touch and I could feel it gently vibrating. I was holding a few inches away from my face when suddenly its eyes snapped open. It was so startling I tossed it across of the couch. It broke it's fall, like anyone might do, then scrambled backwards into the corner of the couch and armrest. It seemed to have a scared look on its face. I just sat there and stared at it as it seemed to lock eyes with me. My mind was empty as I tried to make sense of what I was seeing.
This doll looked like a 12-inch tall, perfectly formed woman with a slender build. It had green eyes, a young pixie-like face, and a barely perceptible blue tint to it's skin, making it seem even more elfish. Then I remembered the box. I frantically grabbed the box and emptied it looking for some kind of explanation, ANY kind of explanation.
What I found was a tri-fold pamphlet. It had a picture of the doll on the outside. I opened it and read "Congratulations on the purchase of our brand-new, limited edition, life-like doll. She is 100% water proof, scuff and scratch resistant, and has the ability to repair herself when seriously damaged (see website for more information).
She has both associative and non-associative learning modes to perfectly attune to her owner. Quickly addicting play modes are guaranteed to provide countless hours of fun as you play with your new toy to learn its features!"
On the next panel was a figure of the doll with arrows pointing to different areas of it: "fully functioning head", "life-like feel", "autonomous movement", some weird verbiage about "amorphic" and "polymorphic" and stuff like that. It was at this point I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. It had stood up and taken a couple steps towards me.
It looked just like a perfectly formed girl. Elvish features, slightly blue skin, arms, breasts, legs, very slim even for it's height. Just like a real girl. Just 12 inches tall. It was stunningly beautiful as it moved timidly closer to me. I just sat there frozen, staring at it as it reached out towards me. When it touched my arm that spot broke out in goose pimples that felt just electric. Its fingertips glowed as they traced their way up to my elbow, then bicep, then to my shoulder.
It was the most pleasurable thing I've ever felt. I was rooted to the spot, my eyes were huge with wonder, pleasure, and a little fear. It slowly, carefully came closer until it's lips touched my shoulder and it was even more, pleasurable...more sensual...than her touch.
Its lips kissed up my shoulder to my neck, it slid its way over me to the front up to my ear, then down my cheek to under my chin. It then slid slowly down the inside of my tshirt. I quickly pulled my shirt off, looking down at the top of it's head, long hair falling down over it's tiny shoulders, it's perfectly sexy back and ass...just really in Barbie doll proportions. As it slid down over my pants, I was more excited than I've ever been and I reached down to undo my pants.
When I did, the doll pulled back apprehensively, staring at my nakedness. It appeared...frightened?
They made this thing perfect down to its expressions! Sitting there on my couch, naked and so excited I could hardly think straight as it stared at my manhood. Staring back at it I wondered what would happen now. What could happen now? It's so small, there's nothing it would be able to, you know, DO for me. Slowly, almost reluctantly, it reached out a trembling hand. Then, so lightly I could barely register it, it touched me. The fingers glowed gently again as we made skin on skin contact, it was unlike anything I'd ever felt before. A gentle, sensual electricity started at its fingers and slowly spread out from there diminishing as it grew farther from its fingers. Taking a deep breath it put its other hand on the other side and began gently moving its hands all over, sometimes swirling motions, sometimes up and down. When it reached the tip, it was...indescribable.
I could see the soft glow of its hands tracing faint lines all over...I just couldn't take it anymore and I exploded like I was a teenage boy and it was my first time, it seemed to last forever. Stars shot through my head and I felt faint, I thought I was gonna lose consciousness. I just sat there unable to think or move and I think I did pass out for a little while. When I could think again the doll was sitting at the other end of the couch just looking at me, arms folded across it's breasts. "WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED"? I exclaimed. It didn't respond, just sat there looking at me. I could feel myself getting aroused again just looking at her. Huh? Did I just think "her"???
Putting my clothes back on I found the pamphlet again. On the back in small letters it read "for more detailed instructions and FAQ, go to www.mytinydoll2025.com". Rushing to my computer I went to the website. The homepage was very simple, just a blank screen with a prompt to enter my serial number and where to find it printed on the shipping label. I entered it and was provided 3 options: "FAQ", "Instructions", and "Customer Service". I clicked on FAQ.
Q: The doll is so lifelike, is it alive?
A: No, not technically. Your doll is an automaton with cutting edge quantum and other proprietary technologies. The AI is extremely advanced learning technology so it will simulate normal human behavior most convincingly. How convincingly is determined by how you train your doll and some tests have indicated it could even develop a sort of sentience.
Q: Are you sure? It's so...well, lifelike with facial expressions, blinking, it even looks like its breathing.
A: Yes. She is designed to perfectly simulate a living being. She breathes, cries, looks happy, sad, scared...everything a real person can experience.
Q: Can I hurt my doll?
A: Yes. But don't worry, she is extremely resilient and uses nano-technology to self-heal. How long it takes depends on the amount of damage inflicted on her.
(DISCLAIMER!) Suffering an extreme amount of damage will be beyond her technology's ability to repair and will void your warranty.
Q: You said she can be hurt, does she bleed?
A: Although we are working on updates that will allow her to simulate bleeding, that is not yet available.
Q: How do I care for it? Does it need baths? Is it dishwasher safe? Do I need to feed it?
A: She does not require baths as the same technology that repairs her cleans her as well. This cleaning feature can be disabled. She is dishwasher safe. For more information on care and maintenance for your doll, please hit the "back" button and select "Instructions".
There was more, but I decided to switch over to the Instructions.
CONGRATULATIONS!
You are now the proud owner of "Liriel", a SimuLife 2k Beta doll! She is lifelike in almost every way! Please read the following instructions carefully as some actions may void your warranty. Use of this doll after 7 days indicates agreement with our "Beta" model to provide feedback and bug reports monthly. If you do not participate, return packaging will be mailed to you and your doll will deactivate.
By now you may have realized this is no normal doll due to her initial default programming. Whether you are male or female, what you probably just experienced is only the beginning.
CARE AND MAINTENANCE
Liriel does not require washing, cleaning, feeding, or attention. She does require water each day for her regeneration system to function. Food is not necessary, but will accelerate her regeneration functions. It is very hard to inflict permanent injury on your doll. She is able to heal almost any injury including limb regeneration. Extreme damage may void your warranty.
We do offer monthly updates with enhancements and bug fixes. Just place her near any Bluetooth device with an internet connection and she will update automatically. Updates can be disabled in her mobile app but is strongly discouraged.
"She has a mobile app???" I thought.
WARRANTY INFORMATION:
Liriel comes with a lifetime warranty. The following actions will void your warranty:
- Removing her head
