Lux Ex Tenebris

Love is reckless; not reason.

Reason seeks a profit.

Love comes on strong,

consuming herself, unabashed.

Yet, in the midst of suffering,

Love proceeds like a millstone,

hard surfaced and straightforward.

Having died of self-interest,

she risks everything and asks for nothing.

Love gambles away every gift God bestowed.

Without cause God gave us Being;

without cause, give it back again.

-Rumi

***

"Stay in bed. I'll get your sketch book for you."

Vidor got up and left our room momentarily before returning with my sketch book and the charcoal I left in his study room in hand. It had been 2 months since we found out about my pregnancy, and Vidor, being the most collected and calm person I knew, took his I-am-going-to-be-a-father role to another level. He never let me do anything at all by myself anymore. He would do everything, as in EVERYTHING for me, and if he wasn't around he would assign the maids to replace him. I found this to be really sweet although slowly it was beginning to drive me crazy because I practically couldn't even lift a book or going to the bathroom without any assistance. Going to the library was no option because Vidor was paranoid that I would accidentally stumble and fall down the stairs. The only place I could venture from my room was only Vidor's study room where I would be under his guard, and he would watch my every move -

he wouldn't even let me adjust the cushions and the throw without his administer!

He sat down on the armchair next to the bed and began to study his papers while I was only staring at the blank paper, thinking of what to sketch as my creativity began to slowly dim with this protect-the-pregnant-queen task that was too much. I learned from Lorant that pregnancy among Tenebrian women lasted only for 6 months, unlike the 9 month period that I knew of. But given the fact that my husband was a demon and I was a human, my pregnancy would last for 7 months. And only in 2 months a small bump was already visible. I idly doodled random stuff on the paper while my mind was preoccupied with the baby in my womb. Would he born as a human? As a demon? A hybrid? And what would he look like? What name should I pick for him? For God sake I didn't even know if the baby was a boy or a girl. Vidor got up from his seat, kissed me on my forehead and walked towards the windows and the double door to open them and let the fresh air in. I smiled at him gratefully, knowing that he knew it would make me feel better. It was only mid-morning but I felt the need to move around.

"Vidor,"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Can I take a stroll in the garden?"

"No."

Came his short answer. I had to change my tactic.

"Can WE take a stroll in the garden?"

He studied my face,

"Why?"

I sighed,

"I'm feeling like I'm being imprisoned here! I can't even lift a spoon to my mouth without anyone taking over to feed me! I'm only pregnant dammit, not handicapped! Now I want to take a stroll out there like a normal human being, WITH YOU!"

The corners of his mouth twitched as if he was suppressing his smile,

"Is it the hormonal talk?"

"No. Yes. Maybe. I don't know! Let's go outside my husband,

pleaaaaase?

"

He put all his papers aside and got up to scoop me in his arms,

"As you wish, sweetheart."

He softly kissed me on my lips before walking to the balcony and soon we were airborne. I rested my head on his shoulder while enjoying the breeze on my face. He flew us over the garden that I used to venture and took us to a place I had never been before. He landed and softly put me on my feet on the ground. I looked around and I immediately fell in love with this place. I spun around and tiptoed to kiss him on his lips with a deep appreciation,

"Thank you for bringing me here. This place is beautiful!"

We were in a natural pool with a waterfall on the far end. The pool was stony and there were sharp rocks and stones here and there, but there were some large stones that were altered for lying down, and the shallow part of the pool was perfect for a leisure dip. The water looked so inviting. I felt Vidor behind me and he sneaked his arms around my waist. Giving a light kiss on top of my head he whispered,

"Do you want to get in?"

I turned my head around to see him,

"I can do that?"

He planted a kiss on my temple,

"Of course. This place is mine. Ours,"

"That sounds good. But I don't have any bathing suit,"

"Who says anything about getting into the water with a bathing suit?"

I gawked at him,

"You mean..."

"Mm-hmm."

"Wow okay. Uhm... Alright, I guess."

I felt his hands working on the pearl button on the nape of my neck and the hidden zipper along my back. I stepped out of my dress of which he laid carefully down a large stone before he lifted my camisole along with my panties, practically undressing me only in a matter of minutes. When he finished I noticed that he was bare naked as I was. He scooped me again in his arms and walked into the water. Slowly lowering himself in the water, he sat down on the base with me on his lap. The water wasn't cold nor it was too warm. It was just perfect. I watched him idly caressing my belly and I smiled. I wanted so bad to tell him that I loved him but I didn't know how he would react or if he even understood the concept of love, because for all I knew there was no such thing as a deep emotion like love ever occurred among Tenebrians.

"Vidor, can I ask you something?"

"Anything, sweetheart."

I lifted my hand to brush my fingers through his head and he closed his eyes, enjoying it.

"How is it that your clothes disappear?"

He opened his eyes and looked at me quizzically.

"I mean... You don't need to literally put clothes on, they appear and disappear just like that! How does it work? Do you have some kind of fabrics or threads in your body system that you can just transform them as you wish? Or is it magic? It's gotta be magic, isn't it?"

At first he smiled at me, then it turned to a grin before he threw his head back and laughed out loud. That was the first time I saw him letting himself go with no reservation and I fell in love deeper with him.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, but that is the funniest thing you have ever said to me. No no it doesn't work like that. I'm a demon, you see. Technically there's no need for demons to wear clothes. But since we had to adapt to the world that kept and keeps changing, we had to come up with an ability to clothe ourselves without having to put it on literally, as you put it. Not to mention that it would be hard to dress up with these huge wings on our backs,"

"So you're saying that demons are trained to develop the skill?"

"No, it's not entirely like that. Yes, the first older demons did train to develop the skill, but then they passed it down to the next generation and so on through matings that it became a part of our genes. It means that the skill is embedded in the genes of the generations after them that it becomes one of our natures."

"One of your natures? What are the other natures?"

He playfully nipped the tip of my nose,

"You're a really curious creature, aren't you?"

I softly pulled his ear,

"Yes, and this curious creature is your wife. Go on, I'm all ears."

He smiled at me and I could swear I saw love in his eyes.

"We can make our wings invisible,"

I gawked at him for the second time. He straightened his back and the wings disappeared like they were never there before. My eyes widened.

"Excuse me but I need to look at your back myself."

He chuckled,

"Go on."

He lifted his arm so I could turn my body around a bit to see his back while he was still able to hold me, and I saw his smooth, muscled back. There was no sign of any wing. I ran my palm all over his back and felt nothing. I went back to my position and he lowered his arm and encircled it around my waist again.

"Wow. That is.... Wow!"

"Happy?"

"Yes. Well, surprised is more like it. So that means you ARE able to put on clothes,"

"Yes, but with my ability to clothe myself without having to have all the hassle with buttoning shirt up, why would I?"

I grunted at him with envy,

"I wish I could do that too so I wouldn't have the maids put on the suffocating corset and dress on me."

"That's the consequence of being a queen, sweetheart."

I sighed and looked down at his hand on my belly,

"I know. I just... I just wish my life would be simpler than this."

He lifted my chin up and held it to look at him straight in his eyes,

"You're not happy here?"

The question stung my heart.

"No Vidor, it's not like that. I'm happy here. I'm happy being with you. But with all these baggages I have from my past, and now I am the wife of the King of Tenebris, I get a lot of pressure and expectations that are sometimes too ridiculous."

He looked at me intensely for some time before speaking almost in low husky voice,

"For all my existence I never really thought of anything except myself and my kingdom, and even if I lost the latter I might not even care because there was only me. And then you came into my life and turned it upside down with your sincerity, affection, smile, and sometimes your mischief behaviors. Against all odds I have learned to care more for someone else than I did for myself. It was then I started to have a reason to live, and that is you. And now you're pregnant with our baby, it is only you and our baby's safety and well-being I can think of. Even if I lost my kingdom now it wouldn't matter because I have my own family."

He hesitated for a moment,

"I have my own family I can call home."

Without me realizing tears began to develop. This was the first time he really opened up to me.

"I don't care about myself anymore because what matters now is only you and our child. I don't want anything bad to happen to you and the baby. And if something bad does happen I surely will be devastated."

I didn't realize tears ran down my cheek until Vidor wiped them away with his fingers. I took his hand and planted a kiss on his palm, and before I knew it I blurted out,

"I love you, Vidor."

"Clara,

lux mea

. Is that what you're feeling for me?"

I nodded.

"Is that what I'm feeling for you?"

I hesitated,

"What are you feeling for me? Don't use your logic for once, listen to your heart and tell me what you feel."

He stayed quiet for a moment while idly playing with my fingers.

"My heart... I always believe it to be nothing more than an efficient muscle. I'm not even sure if I ever listened to it."

He put his forehead against mine.

"When I'm not with you my body aches to be with you. I constantly think about you even when you're in our room and I'm in my study room. Funny, isn't it? I am delighted when you smile and laugh, and it breaks my heart to see you sad and cry. I... I want to provide for you, to be there for you, to protect you. To be your everything. I don't think about myself anymore because what is important to me is you and your happiness and our baby. And because you are my first priority I put myself second if not the third or the fourth or the twelfth. Is that love?"

I cupped his face and brought it to mine to kiss him on the lips and I whispered,

"Yes my love, that is love."

He kissed me softly for a long time, and when he released me I could see love in his eyes.

"I love you Clara, my wife,

lux mea

."

He then stood up with me in his arms and then laid me down on a flat stone. Soon he was on top of me. His mouth then took mine in a soft, smoldering kiss and gathered my body closer carefully as to not put too much pressure on my protruded stomach. Vidor caressed my exposed breasts with strokes as light as the wings of a plume moth. My nipples swelled and tightened, aching for his touch, and when he finally drew a hard peak into the velvety heat of his mouth, I moaned with relief. He used only the top of his tongue at first, plying me with a delicacy that made me writhe upward with an incoherent plea. Gradually he gave me more, flicking, sucking, until I felt a corresponding throb in my loins with every tug. His gentle hands eased over my body, coaxing thrills from my susceptible nerves. I couldn't think or speak, could only respond helplessly as Vidor stroked and arranged my limbs in ever-more revealing position, while his mouth coursed slowly over my skin.

Inquisitive masculine fingers slipped between my thighs to find the elixir from my aroused flesh. I moaned as he spread the moisture in erotic circles, his fingertips dipping playfully in the entrance of my body.

"Vidor... please, I can't wait any longer, I--"

I broke off as I felt him turning me away, tucking my hips back against him so that we lay curved together on our sides. His arms closed around me, making me feel safe and protected, even as he reached down and parted my thighs with a soothing hand. I stirred in confusion as I felt the pressure of his sex and realized he was entering me from behind. Gasping, I turned my face into the muscular arm that was wedged beneath my neck, surprised of this new change considered we had never done this position before.

"Easy,"

Vidor whispered, smoothing the locks of my hair away from my ear and throat, kissing my exposed skin.

"Let me love you this way, sweetheart."

His caressing fingers cupped me, kneading gently until I relaxed. He teased me with the head of his sex, barely penetrating me, then withdrawing just as I thought he would enter me fully. I began to rock against him, my hips pressing backward. By the time he slid all the way inside me, I was groaning loudly. As our position did not allow for a broad range of motion, he thrust in deep-seated nudges, while I arched in frantic encouragement. Reaching for my top thigh, he pulled it across his knees so that my legs were spread wide, my hips partially supported by his. I whimpered as I felt him slide even deeper, while his fingers trekked in rhythmic counterpoint to the prodding of his shaft.

Driven beyond sanity, I drew tight in every muscle, waiting as he built my pleasure at a leisurely pace. He took me to the edge and then retreated, then drove me closer, closer, making me wait, and wait, until at last he let me come in a series of convulsions that I could have sworn made the flat stone underneath shake.

Vidor was still hard as he withdrew from me. His tousled hair glittered like pagan raven as he pressed me to my back and dragged his open mouth over my swollen stomach. I shook my head with groggy denial even as he bent my knees and pushed them upward.

"Too tired,"

I said thickly.

"I--wait, Vidor--"

His tongue searched my salty-damp flesh with assuaging licks, persisting until my protests died away. The gentle ministrations of his mouth lulled me into peace, my heartbeat slowing to measured beats. After long, patient minutes, he drew the swollen bud of my clitoris in his mouth and began to suck and nibble. I jerked at the delicate aggression of his mouth. He drove me higher, his tongue flicking and swirling in deliberate pattern, his arms clamping around my thighs. It seemed my body was no longer my own, that I existed only to receive this torment of pleasure.

Vidor

... I could not voice his name, and yet he seemed to hear my silent plea, and in response he did something with his mouth that launched me into a series if incandescent climaxes. Every time I thought it was over, another ripple of sensation went through me until I was so exhausted that I begged him to stop.

Vidor rose over me, his eyes glittering in his shadowed face. I moved to welcome him, opening my legs, sliding my arms around the powerful length of his back. He nudged inside my swollen flesh, filling me completely. As his mouth came to my ear, I could hardly hear his whisper over the thumping of my heart.

"Clara,"

Came his dark voice,

"I want something from you... I want you to come one more time,"

"No,"

I said weakly.

"Yes. I need to feel you come around me."

My head rolled in a slow, negative shake across the stone.

"I can't... I can't..."

"Yes, you can. I'll help you."

His hand drifted along my body to the place where they were joined.

"Let me deeper inside you... deeper..."

I moaned helplessly as I felt his fingertips on my sex, skillfully manipulating my spent nerves. Suddenly I felt him sliding even farther as my excited body opened to accept him. He settled between my bent knees, into the cradle of my hips, driving hard and sure inside me. I encompassed him with my arms and legs, and buried my face in his hot throat, and cried out one last time, my flesh pulsing and tightening to bring him to shattering fulfillment. He shook in my arms, and clenched his hands into the warm spill of my hair as he gave himself over to me completely, worshipping me with every part of his body and spirit.

We laid there motionless on the flat stone under the shade of a tree, enjoying the warm sun light that occasionally went through the leaves as the wind rustled them away. Casually, while caressing his arm, I asked,

"Are you really 300 centuries old?"

He planted a kiss on my shoulder,

"No."

I turned around and sat up to look at him. He lied down on his back with one hand behind his head and the other one on my belly.

"Then how old are you?"

"I am 4,000 years old,"

"You are WHAT?"

He smiled,

"You didn't hear me wrong,

lux mea

."

It seemed like I would never be able to stop gawking at him every time.

"But you look so young and healthy!"

"Yes, that's because I'm a demon."

I frowned,

"I remember many months ago you told Belial that you had walked the earth for more than 300 centuries. What did you mean by that?"

He casually ran his hand up and down the side of my body,

"That is true, and that is how long I have been ruling Tenebris. But you asked about my age and I told you the truth."

I looked at him in amazement and he returned my gaze softly.

"There are so many things I don't know about you..."

He smiled wide,

"Are you upset now to know that you're married to an ancient being?"

I chuckled and shook my head,

"Not at all. In fact I'm all the more curious about you."

Vidor glanced up at the sky and I followed suit. The clouds on the horizon started to get dark which meant a storm would be coming pretty soon.

"Let's go home now. We can continue our talk in our room."

I nodded at him who was already standing up and helping me to get up and put my clothes on. I watched in amazement as his clothes reappeared. He scooped me in his arms and soon we flew back to our room. Once we got in Vidor stripped me down and we made love again on our bed. It seemed like he couldn't keep his hands away from me especially during my pregnancy. Once he made sure that I came to my release for the fifth time that day, he came to his. Satiated and spent, we stayed in bed and cuddled. I ran a finger on his cheek and along his jaw line,

"Tell me more about yourself?"

"What do you want to know, sweetheart?"

"Everything. How you became a demon, how you became the King of Tenebris. Well, basically everything."

He pulled me closer to him and tangled his legs with mine,

"I didn't become a demon, I was born one as my parents were demons. My father was the ruler of an ancient kingdom for over 12,000 years before his brothers fought to claim the throne and it resulted in me losing my parents in a battle and I was outcasted."

I snorted unladylike,

"it's always sibling rivalry that leads to a civil war, isn't it?"

I said it bitterly. Vidor pecked on my cheek,

"Yes it is. At that time I couldn't care less about claiming the throne as I was not interested in returning to the kingdom despite the encouragement my followers, those who were outcasted with me, had been giving me. After a few centuries I left them and walked the earth by myself."