"And you shipped the cargo where?!"
"Um...er, Planet 487, outer rim."
"487, four-fucking-eight-seven, a primitive non-member planet. You sent a Sorkassigan Oil Worm, the rarest most in demand species in the civilized galaxy, to a planet full of half-savage primates. Are you guys that stupid or is this some sort of humor-gram?"
"Well uh...um...er...gulp! We...uh...got the numbers mixed up."
"So you're stupid."
"Well, we can get it back."
"Do it. Do it now, before I rip your head off and feed it to the other one."
"I don't think..."
"Was I talking to you jerkwad? You're just the supplemental head. Shut the fuck up."
"Oh dear!"
"What?"
"Bio-net says the worm is in mating cycle!"
"That's just fucking great you fucking idiot."
******
Carey Berenson, nurse, was relaxing in her tub when she heard the splashing. "Damn it! Those kids are in the pool again!" She left the tub, put on a robe and stormed into the back yard.
Carey couldn't afford the pool on her nurse's salary but her Ex could. She got the house and pool in the divorce but keeping kids out was a pain. Not that she didn't like kids, but a drowned child meant lawsuits from litigious parents.
The yard had a hedge instead of a fence. A gap in the hedge let all sorts in. Pets and children were the most problematic. An arborist was due in a few days to take care of the problem.
When Carey saw the body at the bottom of the pool, "Aw shit!" she went. She stripped her robe and in she dove, controversies over nudity subsumed by fears of drowned children and lawsuits.
Approaching the prone form she noted, "He's larger than I thought, and what's he wearing? Just great, probably the Williams kid." Joe Williams was a prematurely tall thirteen-year-old who needed a trip to fat camp. Getting him out would be tough.
Carey got close and immediately found two things: it wasn't the Williams kid and, when it uncoiled, was much larger than she thought. Screaming under water was difficult by any means but Carey gave it a good try.
******
"So what's this thing we're picking up?"
"A Sorkassigan Oil Worm. Some morons from the Combine shipped it to the wrong planet."
"Shouldn't be a problem retrieving it then. We'll just go to the locals and fill out the paper work."
"Not that simple. The planet's non-member; the species' barely above ape-hood. We'll be lucky if they haven't killed and eaten it."
"So that would be bad, then?"
"The most expensive creature in the galaxy? Millions of galacto-units lost? Yes, very bad."
"So what's so special about this worm? My species is new to this galactic thing."
"It's the oil. It can be used for almost anything on anyone: cosmetics, medicine, perfumes, age extension chemicals, sex enhancers; you don't get that variety in other species. The scientists say it's some sort of virus combined with specialized fruit the worm eats. They can't replicate it. It adapts to just about any species it comes in contact."
"Oh."
"The worm's amphibious so look for water. Oh! And it's in mating cycle so be careful. It's probably porking one of the locals, so we trank it or you might get porked yourself. Plus, it's a primitive planet so we go in cloaked and discreet."
******
Carey splashed frantically out of the pool. The thing slithered fast behind her. "Whatthefuckisit!" screamed through her head. She never put it above her neighbors to keep exotic pets, pythons, ferrets, monkeys, and the like, but this creature looked like nothing from this planet: a giant maggot meets the anaconda from the same named movie, except if the anaconda were colored pink and orange, like a peach.
"Gottagetanimalcontrol!" she thought, panicked as she ran for the house...or started to, she tripped...at the absolute wrong time or so she thought.
Turning on her back, she saw her trip up had a cause: something long, ropy, and pink wrapped around her ankles; a slimy, pink extrusion that terminated in the mouth of the monster."Yaaaahhh!" she screamed. "Let me go! HEEEELLLP!" Carey clawed at the slick, smooth, and recently watered grass, which didn't help with traction. "No! No! No! Somebody!"
Unfortunately for Carey, the neighborhood children heeded her warnings for once. Her next door neighbor was at the grocery. The lecherous husbands were at work and even the neighborhood voyeur, eighteen-year-old high school senior Cody Hall, was at his fast food job, thereby missing his chance to see the hot thirty-five-year-old MILF get swallowed by a peach-colored giant worm.
Carey's bound ankles prevented her from kicking, so she had to settle for screaming, sobbing, and flailing her arms. The creature opened its mouth wider. It had no teeth. A ring of soft-looking protrusions rimmed a mouth that resembled a pair of thick red lacquered lips.
Further in, more protrusions resembled elongated suckers. "Oh God! They look like cocks!" remarked Carey of the mouth growths. As if to confirm her phallic diagnosis, the mouth cocks squirted thick, jizzy peach syrup on her ankles.
"Eek! Help!" she shrieked, bracing for skin and bones to dissolve in what was obviously digestive fluid. Instead of searing pain, to her surprise it tingled like K-Y jelly.
The mouth closed on her feet. Sickening fear shivered through Carey's spine at the pillowy touch. Ripples and flexes flowed through the creature's body. A giant "Slurp!" sloshed from its mouth and Carey was sucked in to her knees.
"Eee!" she shrieked, weeping with terror. Her body writhed, her hands clutched at the grass. "Oh God! Please! Somebody!" Hidden soft, slimy things caressed her calves. Evil sucking noises issued from the mouth as something pulled at her skin. Carey screamed and shuddered.
"Sluuurrp!" Now immersed to her hips, Carey's pussy and ass were engulfed, or engulped. She bucked and weaved, beating frantically at the creature's rubbery skin. "Nononono! Please! Let go!" she sobbed. Then her eyes widened, "What are you doing?!"
The slithery things had moved to her petal. Others were sliding up and around her ass cheeks and along her crack. Slimy suckers slid over her bald pussy and sucked her clit. "Oooohhh! Aaaahhh!" she howled, outraged and terrified. And then, horror of horrors, some slid in. "Uuarrrg!" she growled, and struggled harder.