Love at First Gear

She started to sit up. "Mack, are you hurt-"

"Ashleigh," he opened his eyes and now she could see it wasn't a trick of the strange bunk lighting. They were definitely orange! She gasped.

"I'm sorry, Ashleigh," he started to say, but she cut him short. "Did you

take

something, like drugs? What the fuck, Mack?"

He shook his head and clamped his eyes shut. "You are just driving me

wild

."

Ashleigh was a smart woman. She knew that. There were a lot of things she should do right now, and a lot of questions she wanted answered. But she was also a human being, and underneath that, she was an animal, too. She knew what she should do; put her clothes on and get the hell out of this truck! But that's not what she wanted to do.

Slowly she reached out and put a hand on his chest. Was it hairier than she remembered?

"Don't," he whispered, still trying to catch his breath.

"Why not?" she asked. "Did you take something, like that gas station Viagra or something?"

He laughed.

"It's not funny, Mack."

He shook his head. "It's half of me, Ashleigh. I can't keep it inside forever."

She frowned. "What are you talking about?"

He licked his lips. "This is going to sound crazy. You should just go. I'll drop you off somewhere safe tomorrow and you can just forget about me."

She sat back on her heels, disappointed. "How do you expect me to just forget about this?"

He sighed, "Yeah, you're right, I'm pretty weird and fucked up-"

She slapped her forehead. "No, Mack. I've never

been

with anyone like this. I've never even really enjoyed it with my boyfriends, but with you... I really like you. I like being with you..." she trailed off as he finally opened his eyes and fixed them on her.

"What the fuck is going on with your eyes, Mack?"

A muscle in his jaw ticked. "You're going to think I'm delusional."

She sharply exhaled through her nose. "I'm not going to head-shrink you."

He chewed on the inside of his cheek for a while before he answered, "I'm a fuckin' lycan, Ashleigh."

"A, a what?" she stumbled on her words as she racked her brain. The word was familiar but not one she expected someone else to use in casual conversation.

"A werewolf."

Oh no, he

was

delusional! She thought about how amazing it had been so far, and the conversation wasn't half bad, either.

There's medication for delusional people

, she thought to herself.

Wait, am I really thinking about staying with this guy? And didn't I just say I wouldn't head-shrink him?

Her thoughts chased each other around in her head, neither of them clearly winning the race.

"How long have you been a werewolf?" is what she decided to say out loud.

"It's lycan, 'werewolf' is a slur," he informed her. "I can tell you don't believe me."

"Why do you think that?"

"I can smell it."

She fixed him with an incredulous glare. "Mack."

"I can smell when you're lying to me. I know sometimes I make you uncomfortable. I also know you don't want to do what you should do because you want more."

Her eyes widened. Could he just be guessing at her feelings? Was it possible he could smell her body chemistry somehow? There was no way he was a lycan -

werewolves aren't real

, she told herself.

"You smell," he hesitated, "

so good

." His eyelids fluttered as he finished. "You are driving me crazy in this truck, but I don't want you to leave." His voice turned a little pleading at the end. "But I know that you should go. I'm either insane or a monster. This is a lose-lose situation for you."

She sat studying him, taking in his orange eyes. Maybe he

was

hairier than she remembered.

He started talking again before she could speak. "The full moon is only two days, maybe only one now, away. I've lost track. Every day it gets closer I'm going to be worse. If you think it was rough today, it will be harder tomorrow. I have to get this truck back to the hub and I have to get into the woods the day after tomorrow, away from you, away from everyone. If I don't... I don't know what I will do."

He looked sad. And she didn't think he was lying to her, which was odd. He also didn't strike her as a delusional person, and other than being slightly moody, he didn't really strike her as having a personality disorder. He was likable, funny, thoughtful, and pretty self-aware. Could he be telling her the truth?

"Okay," she breathed, "let's say I believe you-"

"You don't," he interrupted.

"Let's say I do. Obviously something is happening to you either way."

He snorted and gave a sardonic nod.

"When did this start?"

He took a deep breath. He had never actually talked to anyone about this before. Could he tell her the whole story? Well, he figured, it was too late to walk it back now.

"I've always been like this."

"Always?"

"Yes. People think you have to get bitten or something, but that's not how it works. You are born one or you aren't one."

"So it's like a race?"

He nodded. "Exactly."

She thought for a minute. "Are both of your parents...?"

"Lycans? Yes. All my brothers and sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles, grandparents-"

"So wait, there are a bunch of you, it sounds like?"

"Got it in one." His Southern drawl was out on full display now. No sense in trying to hide anything from her now that she knew the big secret, whether she believed it or not.

"And you're all, werewolves, I mean, lycans?"

He pursed his lips and nodded. His eyes still sparkled orange.

She sucked on her teeth and looked thoughtful. She wondered what questions he would consider too sensitive to answer, and what

could

she ask him without him thinking she was completely disregarding what he had said? Whether it was real or not, it was obviously real to him.

"Is it normal for you to, uh, court, uhm," Ashleigh stumbled over her words as she found herself suddenly thrust into a new world.

"Non-wolves? Humans?" he supplied.

She blushed. "You're a human," she tried, but he shook his head.

"I'm not a human. I'm a lycan. We look the same three-quarters of the year and that's it. And while some do, no, we're not supposed to 'court' humans. "

She looked disappointed. "Why not?"

"We might hurt you. Expose ourselves and everyone else, like this." His disappointment in himself was a tangible thing that sat heavy in the air between them.

"Have you ever hurt anybody?"

"No, well," he waffled, "I have hurt bad people."

Ashleigh's jaw tensed slightly at that confession. "What made them bad?"

"They wanted to hurt other people, or they did hurt other people."

"What did you do to them?"

"You don't want to know."

Her blood was suddenly cold. Could he be evil? A monster, like he said? His body language changed then, too, like he sensed her thoughts. Could he actually

smell

her? That just seemed too unbelievable. They were both quiet now, her heart racing in her chest. He relaxed against the wall, but the orange hue never faded. "You can chill out," he told her, "you're not a hunter or a junkie trying to break into my truck."

"Okaaaay," she breathed, mentally putting the "hunter" comment away for later. "What happens if I stay with you?"

He rolled his eyes. "Well, that'll never happen, first of all. You think I'm crazy and you're going to split at the first opportunity. I'll be surprised if you even wait for the next truck stop."

Now she was angry, but she didn't know why his statement made her so mad. "Answer my question," she demanded.

He stared at her for a minute before he continued. "Like I said, tomorrow I'm probably going to be nearly out of my mind all day. When I stop this truck at the hub I'm going to pin you against the dashboard or drag you into the bunk and really lose control of myself."

She couldn't help herself, his words thrilled her. Goose bumps rose up on her skin and her toes curled underneath of her. He grinned. It annoyed her and made her wonder if he

could

smell her arousal after all.

"What happens after that?"

"If I don't shift in the middle of it and scare the absolute shit out of you? I'm going to haul all of that camping gear up into the woods for 5 or 6 days, and hopefully by then I'll be able to come back to the truck and act human again. If you are still here then, I don't know. I might be fine until the week before the next full moon, or I might get rougher every night until you finally get sick of it and run away from me."

"What happens if you... shift, in the middle of it?" She decided to try and use his language, even if she still thought he was delusional.

"That depends on you. I'll change, physically. It's still me, but, I don't know what I'll be like with you. If you try to run away... we don't do well with things that run. You can't run, no matter what. So you have to leave before it gets to that point, or I have to leave early. Maybe I should just leave early. I can probably speed a little bit and just get out of here before tomorrow night. Then you'll be safe."

She shook her head. "No, I want to see this for myself. It's the only way I'll believe you."

"It'll scare the shit out of you, and I don't want you to see me like that."

She gestured at his eyes and his chest, which she could swear was growing hairier by the minute, "I've already kind of seen you like that."

He tipped his head back and leaned against the small window. "I've never lost control like this." He was mad at himself, and irrationally kind of mad at her.

Why does she have to be so irresistible

, he thought as he barely heard her next question.

Tie her up,

came the wolf's voice,

you can't let her run away and tell people about you. Keep her.

"I'm not gonna do that," he realized too late he had said it out loud.

Great, now he's talking to himself.

Ignoring it, she pressed on.

"What about the other, lycans? You said humans and lycans aren't allowed to mix. What happens if we stay together?" Her heart ached at the thought that they couldn't be together.

What is wrong with me? I've only known him for one entire day! And he's nuts!

Her thoughts raced in the silence between his answers and she wondered if she was the one who needed the head-shrinking.

"Nothing. They'll disown me, but I already left my pack ten years ago."

"Why?"

He sighed again. "Remember that 'racist and inbred' thing? They're like that, only they hate humans and only breed with other wolves, for better or worse. Usually worse." Looking at him she had a hard time believing anyone in his entire bloodline was inbred. He was gorgeous, strong, and healthy-looking.

"What happens," she started to ask, then wondered if she was the one being too forward now.

"If humans and lycans breed?" it seemed like he had read her mind, but it was the natural progression of the conversation.

"Yeah, I guess that's one way to say it," she agreed.

"It's a coin flip. The kids are either lycans or humans. That's all. No grisly mutations or half-bloods, like my old man used to rant about. But it can be latent, I guess. If two 'half-blood' humans find each other, their kids will be lycans."

Could he be making all of this up?

It was so detailed, and he had so many answers for everything. Of course deluded people could be amazingly convincing. She would never know if she didn't see it for herself, but if he really was a werewolf he had already made it plain that he would do anything he could to keep her from seeing it with her own two eyes.

"How do you manage to get through life in truck stops when half the population drives you crazy?" she asked next.

"What?" his confusion was written all over his face.

"You said I smell good, that I drive you crazy," she paused, "so how do you do it?"

"Oh." He let his head flop against the window again. He chewed on his lip. How could he tell her that it was just her? That only she smelled like that to him, that he was meant for her? That it would never be a two-way street; as a human, she could leave him and do whatever she liked, but now that he had found her, he would never be able to forget her.

"It's... kind of just a 'you' thing." He hoped she would figure it out on her own and stop asking him tough questions. It didn't work.

She frowned. "A 'me' thing? If there's a lot of werew- lycans, I mean, and I smell like whatever I smell like to you, how come-"

He cut her off. "You only smell like this to

me.

"

She hesitated for only a second before blurting out, "Are you saying-" but he suddenly sat up and put a finger to her lips.

"Let's not say it's anything. For now."

She was quiet for a little while, at least. But now it was his turn to be anxious as he wondered what kind of thoughts she was having.

Is it crazy that I like this?

Ashleigh was quiet for a long time as she considered everything he'd said to her that evening.

"I want to stay in your world," she stated, "for now."

He looked genuinely surprised. "For now?" he asked.

"For now. We'll see how things go tomorrow. If I think I can't handle it, I'll leave, and we'll just go our separate ways and I will never tell anyone what you told me. I promise."

He watched her, silently.

"If you really are a lycan, I'll see it for myself and if I want to deal with it, we'll figure out what to do next. If I can't stay with you in the truck without driving you crazy then I'll leave and we'll only see each other when you think it's safe. If I don't drive you crazy, then we'll stick together for now, see where the road takes us."

She waited for him to respond.

"Deal?"

He nodded.

She took a deep breath. "Okay, next order of business: I want to go with you when you go camping this week." Bracing for impact didn't prepare her for the finality of his response.

"Absolutely not." His response was swift and startlingly aggressive. "That's where I draw the line. You can't go with me and you can't follow me where I go. Do you understand? Never."

"Why not? Are you afraid you will hurt me?"

"No, not at all. Well, maybe," he confessed. "I won't attack you, but I'm afraid you won't like what you see. And besides, everything changes.

Everything.

" He looked down to punctuate that last "everything."

She hesitated, but couldn't fight her own curiosity. "How does it change?"

He laughed. "You're unbelievable, you know that?"

She waited for him to answer, and when it was clear she wasn't giving up on it, he sighed. "It gets... bigger." He didn't want to tell her about the knot. He bit his lip.

"No way," she breathed.

He nodded. "You won't like it anyway, so you should just stay away. Once I get started," he hesitated, unsure if he should continue or not, "I might not be able to stop myself. What am I talking about? I already can't."

Another surge of arousal rushed through her body. He groaned and tipped his head back against the window behind him. "What is your deal, lady?"

"It's completely normal," she was a little snappish now.

"Oh yeah?" he was clearly bemused.

"Yeah! Women who rate higher for intelligence and success normally do like to have their sexual decisions made for them."

"In other words, you want to be dominated."

She blushed.

"And how far does that go, exactly?"

"How far do you want it to go?" It was an honest question, but he laughed. He'd never met a woman like her, but to be fair, he'd never had much of a relationship with a woman before. Mack wasn't interested in the arranged marriages of one clan to another, as lycans sometimes settled for, and it was hard to grow close to any humans when he wasn't always in the same place twice. Dating was difficult for truckers, but dating as a

werewolf

trucker was even worse. All things considered, he didn't want to let her go.

"Okay," he leaned forward now, looking her fully in the eyes with his own orange globes. "Let's say you and I decide to stick together longterm."

She nodded. His language was so forthright sometimes, and other times so guarded, but she was glad they were back in forthright territory for now.

"And let's say we're getting close to the full moon, and smelling you all day is driving me up a wall."

She nodded again. "Like today," she offered.

He chuckled before he continued, "You don't want sex but I want to go all night. What happens next?"

She stared at him, wishing he would figure it out on his own and not make her answer this question.

"What do you want to happen next?" she decided to say.

The muscle in his jaw, which had quit twitching, was ticking like a clock now.

"I only accept enthusiastic consent, Ashleigh," he told her, "especially for something like this."

Why was it so hard for her to say what she wanted? Finally, quietly she said, "I would love to have that kind of an arrangement with you, Mack."

He closed his eyes and shook his head, but a small smile crossed his lips. "That's a dangerous bit of info to give a man like me."

"You told me something about you that could be considered dangerous information," she retorted playfully.

"Fair enough. So, I have your permission for, whatever I want? Whenever I want?"

His gaze was so intense. She swallowed and nodded.

"Turn around."

From this angle his entry was harsh. She soon found herself tied to the bunk again, his knees between hers, pushing her legs wide open. He buried himself to the hilt in her, stretching her painfully as he worked deeper and deeper into her slick passage. Ashleigh cried out and moaned as he opened her deeper and wider. It was a delicious, primal, burning stretch that filled her and fulfilled her. She screamed out orgasm after orgasm, but he never seemed to tire. Even when each thrust rang out with a wet slapping sound, their juices mixing together and freely dripping into the bed, he found the energy to keep going. She wondered how long he would keep her there, tied up, unable to get away, while he mercilessly tried to fuck a werewolf baby into her.

The thought made her clench against him and she shuddered with desire. Roughly grabbing her hair and pulling her head back, he growled in her ear, "what are you thinking about?"

I can't say that

, she thought. She could feel the blush rising to her cheeks and the tops of her ears burned with embarrassment. He spanked her roughly and commanded, "answer me."

Without a second thought she blurted it out. "I want you to breed me."

He groaned and pulled harder on her hair, his light grip on one of her hips suddenly turning sharp as held onto her, spending yet another load inside of her.

How many is that since I met her,

he wondered.

Who cares?

came the voice of the wolf. He could feel his resolve melting away as the full moon approached. "Are you on the pill," he asked her, realizing with a growing panic that he'd never asked her that before. He also realized he didn't want her to say yes.

Get ahold of yourself,

he told himself, even though he knew it was pointless.

Ashleigh hesitated too long. He knew what the answer was before she finally said it.

"No, but I can probably get some this week."

"No," he barked as he surged inside of her. "Yes, you should do that," he changed his mind, but he hated it.

Don't let her do that,

the wolf snarled. "Someday, when you're ready." He was going to pretend it was someday, at least for tonight.

"Someday?" her tone was clearly inquisitive even though her voice wavered with every thrust. "Mack..." Ashleigh didn't quite know what to say or how to take his comment.

"If you stay," he grunted. The wolf had taken control of his mouth now, it seemed, and he couldn't stop the words that came next. "I make a lot of money, you wouldn't have to work. Just keep your legs spread for me, ride in the truck, keep me company. Let me be a wolf," his thrusting slowed and became more forceful as she clenched around him again. Everything he was saying turned her on even more, although she didn't know why.

I didn't think I wanted any of this

, she thought before another earth-shattering orgasm blew away her thoughts.