"Your first kill should be done slowly. Otherwise things can get pretty messy." I explained to Kristin a few days later as we walked through the park, watching for the right targets to suit us both.
Kristin had only ever had my blood and the blood I had bought from Jackson but it was enough to get her addicted to the only thing besides water and alcohol she'd ever drink again. The addiction would only worsen once she'd tasted fresh, warm human blood.
"Her. I want her." Kristin eyed a lone young woman who looked way too ticked for her own good. She was fumbling to herself about something. The woman was gorgeous and a perfect first kill. It wouldn't take much to get her alone with Kristin.
"She'll come to you. Just sit on that bench and watch her. Lure her in to you. I'll be watching." I said, walking away.
I did as I said and watched from behind a tree in the wooded part of the park. Kristin sat on the bench I'd told her to and waited for the angry woman to come nearer to her. The lady, like most targets, would see Kristin as a problem solver.
"Hi." the woman said, pushing her auburn hair away from her neck. All victims did that when speaking to a Vampire. It seems like it'd be the other way around, but it's not.
I think it has something to do with the fact that we're beautiful. I don't know, maybe that's just me.
Kristin smiled sensually at the woman. I tried to ignore the feeling it gave me and continued to watch my creation. "Hello," she said, her voice all but luring me over to her as well.
"I.. I just dumped my boyfriend and I-I'm sorry, I don't know who you are. I just.. Ugh." the woman was slowly inching towards Kristin, shaking her head.
I looked around, making sure we were the only ones in the park. Since it was two o'clock in the morning most people had gone home. The people still in the park were either drug dealers, homeless people or unsuspecting future victims of rapists or Vampires. We were the only people in this particular part of the park so Kristin could drain the woman now and get away with it.
"It's okay. Here, sit by me." Kristin patted the space to her right. She was far better at this than I had been the first time I'd ever gone target hunting. I'd lured in an older gentleman, a business man coming home late from the other woman's house. He was married and didn't want to lose his wife, so I told him I'd make sure she never found out.
He was found dead the next day and his secret stayed a secret. I had drained him dry too quickly, getting blood all over myself and him. The authorities were baffled because he had no wound anywhere on him but his blood was on his skin and his shirt. The case is still unsolved.
"I'm Viola." the woman said after she was seated next to her future killer. Her voice was low, slightly confused, just like all other targets when they talked to Vampires.
"I'm Kristin. Tell me," she was so calm and collected, "Why did you break up with him?"
Viola actually leaned in to Kristin like a friend does when speaking to a confidant. How did Kristin have this woman talking to her like she'd known her for years on her first time? "He doesn't love me. I'm just tired of saying it and not hearing it, you know?" Viola nodded nervously.
Kristin nodded in sad agreement; she understood all too well. "Well, Viola, let me tell you a secret, okay?"
"'Kay." Viola agreed, quietly.
Kristin stared at her feet the whole walk home and didn't say a word until we were back at my apartment. I knew it was because of how easily she'd killed that woman in the park. She felt bad.
"I can't believe this is what I've become." she shook her head in denial.
We walked inside and I closed and locked the door behind myself. I slipped off my jacket and hung it on the hook beside the door. I helped Kristin out of hers and hung it up beside mine. It was October and even Vampires get cold.
"I took her life away from her." Kristin said, "She only needed some-one to talk to. Someone to listen to her for five minutes. I killed her." Tears began to well up in her eyes.
"Don't cry." I said, touching her shoulder. I didn't like it when she felt bad enough to weep about something. I had noticed that in the last three days I had cared a little more about her each day and even tried to make sure I was nice to her. That was more than I'd ever done for anyone else before.
Kristin stepped forward and I pulled her to me in a tight embrace. I held the back of her head in one hand while rubbing her back softly with the other. She wrapped her arms around me and cried into my shoulder. I tried to comfort her but wasn't sure what else to say besides "Shh."
"You don't have to do that again. I'll just keep Jackson bringing in blood from people who willingly donate it to our kind. It'll be okay." I said, hoping maybe that would help.
I knew how she was feeling. All of us Vampires go through it. The transition period where we realize that we're basically serial killers that can't be caught. Most of us, or at least the normal ones, aren't too happy about it. Most of us, at least the average ones, get used to it.
"I'd rather do that, then." she mumbled, still holding onto me.
Kristin needed someone to love her. She needed for someone to be there for her through the good and the bad. Right now, she needed me to hold her until she felt like she wasn't going to fall apart anymore. I knew I didn't love her, but I could at least pretend to if it made her feel better. If I was lucky maybe someday what I felt for her would be stronger than just caring about how she felt. I wanted to be able to tell her someday that I did love her, but that day wouldn't be today. If something were to cause the two of us to be separated, I knew I'd be okay without her. If I were in love with her, I wouldn't be able to go on if she were gone.
Walking over to the couch, I sat down and pulled her into my lap, where she continued to mourn. Her tears seeped into my shirt as she cried for what seemed like hours. I hadn't cried after I'd killed that man. All I had done to deal with killing someone was to forget about it. I forgot about all of my victims as soon as I'd killed them, usually. I made a point to look in their eyes as little as possible while luring them in so it'd be easier. As for all the people I slept with before killing them? They were harder to forget, but I did my best. The only victim I'd ever cried over was the one in my arms and I still couldn't figure out why she had had that affect on me; I'd only just met her.
There is a belief among my kind that the person who is turned into a Vampire automatically gains romantic feelings for their sire or mistress, but I don't agree with that. The only feelings I had for Justin were sexual ones, no emotional strings attached. He was the one who gained feelings for me, but I didn't want to be with him because I knew I'd sleep with other people and he'd get angry with me. I knew better than to piss him off too terribly because as I've said before, you're sire is the one of the only things that can kill you.
"Amanda?" Kristin whispered.
"Mm-hm?" I hoped she felt better.
"What was it that made you tell me?" she asked.
I thought for a little while before coming up with the answer. "The fire in your eyes. It's different than anyone else's. They're so alive and-and, I don't know. It's like when I looked into them the first time they- you saw straight into my soul. Everyone else.. They just looked." I couldn't believe I had just said something that deep. I never said things like that.
Kristin had sat up and was now doing what she'd done that first day. Her eyes were looking past all the bad things I tried to use to cover up any piece of something good. She was searching the deepest parts of my soul, trying to find what it was that I was afraid of. I blinked and looked away from her, terrified for some reason.
"Amanda." Kristin's voice was soft but stern.
I wouldn't look at her.
"Please look at me." she asked.
I shook my head, only to have Kristin take my face in her hands and turn it towards her. I looked up, down, anywhere but her eyes. For some reason that I couldn't name, I really was afraid of her. Afraid of what she might see in me.
"Please?" she sounded like it really mattered to her that I do this. So I did it, unable to knowingly disappoint her.
Again, she searched my soul. I didn't understand why this was so important to her or why it scared me like it did. Kristin seemed like she'd never look away, give me a break. Time to breathe. "When was the last time you cried?"
I blinked, confused as to why she would ask something like that. I frowned, not wanting to answer her. I did anyway, "When I was drinking your blood. You were dying."
"Before then?" I hadn't realized it when Kristin had taken a hold of my hand, but now I had and I didn't pull my hand away. It was sort of a nice feeling.
"When my ribs got broken." I mumbled, knowing she had meant for emotional reasons.
"Okay, what about the last time you cried because you just needed to?" Kristin asked, rubbing her thumb over my hand.
I turned away from her. "I don't remember."
Kristin stood up and pulled on my hand, wanting me to get up as well. I stood, not understanding what for. I looked back into her eyes warily. I had no idea what she wanted from me.
Kristin lead me into the bedroom and closed the door behind her. At first I thought she wanted to have sex with me, but she just laid down on the bed and pulled me down beside her. I did reach out and touch her but she took hold of my hand and didn't let it go. "Just lay here with me, okay?"
I thought of unattractive things so that I could do what she wanted me to but I had thought that's what we were coming in here for and so it was extremely difficult. My entire body tingled with anticipation and want for her. I took in deep breaths to try and keep myself from failing at this simple task. Surely I could get through the third day in a row without sex. I had gone two, before. Three wouldn't kill me.
"Is it really that bad?" Kristin blinked at me.
"Yes." I said, afraid that if I said more than that I'd lose control.
Thankfully, Kristin left the subject alone and just squeezed my hand. That was the only part of her body she'd allow me to touch. I thought about just forgetting about what she wanted from
me and rolling over on top of her and doing what I wanted to do. It would be much easier and much more enjoyable than just lying there.
"Ouch." Kristin pulled her hand out of mine. "You're trying pretty hard aren't you?"
At first I was lost, but then I figured out that I had hurt her hand from gripping it so tightly. "Oh-I'm sorry."
