Someone had finally bought the house next to mine.
It had been on the market for a flippin' YEAR. I guess the old owners wanted too high a price at first, not understanding that the real estate market was at an ebb. They must have dropped it to something reasonable.
I looked over. The new people moving in were a tall middle-aged (or so it appeared) woman and a younger woman, both with quite pale skin. I judged the younger woman to perhaps be the daughter of the older woman.
Well, no point in speculating. I got my butt off my couch, showered, put on clean clothes, combed my hair, and decided to walk over.
They noticed my approach at once.
I extended my hand to the older woman. "Hi. I'm Mark, your neighbor."
She took it, with a surprisingly strong grip. "I'm Louise, and this is my daughter, Brandie."
I shook hands with Brandie as well. Like her mother, she had surprising strength. Neither of them looked like a bodybuilder, but they were both trim and in good shape.
"So what brings you here?" I inquired, hefting a large box from the U-Haul and walking towards the house.
"Brandie will be attending college here," Louise informed me. "She finished up at the junior college where we were at, and we decided to move here so she could get her four-year degree."
"Then she's about my age," I grinned. "I'm about to start my junior year there myself. And this time I'll be legally old enough to buy beer."
"Set that down over there," Brandie instructed me. I did. "I'm also old enough to buy beer, but I won't, because I think alcoholic drinks are awful. They taste like rodent piss and they impair your judgment. You wind up waking up in bed the next morning next to some ugly fucker you wouldn't give the time of day to if you were sober."
I chuckled. "You're quite right. What will you be studying?"
"My major will be in environmental sciences."
"That's what I'm studying as well. Maybe we'll have classes together."
"That would be lovely," Louise interjected. We all picked up more stuff from the U-Haul. "Brandie will have a friend. And since I know you want to know, I will be working as a receptionist in a local dental office."
That had in fact been what I was about to ask. I chalked Louise knowing that up to woman's intuition.
Four hours later, everything was put away. Brandie and Louise had moved all the heavy things themselves, politely refusing my offer of help with the sofa, the dresser and the beds. "It's great that you're helping us at all, and we really appreciate it," Louise said. "But you just focus on getting the boxes in. I'm sure you can handle them."
With the last box in place and the heavy items put where they belonged, Louise drove the U-Haul back to the rental agency. Brandie and I followed in Louise's car.
"I can't thank you enough for coming over and helping today," Brandie told me. "You're quite nice."
An idea for how she could thank me flashed briefly into my head, but I quickly shoved it aside. I had done it to be neighborly. Besides, now I would have a friend at the college. I wasn't the most social type.
"You're trying to deny your sexual feelings for me. No, I won't `thank' you by giving you a blow job."
What the hell? That thought had lasted maybe half a second. How could she have known?
I took a deep breath and tried to blank my mind momentarily, a routine I had used in the past to help me calm down. It worked.
"I wasn't going to ask for that," I protested.
"I know," Brandie replied. "You're very well conditioned, Mark. While you may think perverted things about women, you've trained yourself not to act on those thoughts and to let the woman control how quickly things move."
What an odd way of phrasing it.
"I'm pretty sure I didn't try to hide the fact I find you attractive," I told her. "But I was planning on getting to know you better before even considering asking you out."
"You couldn't have hid it even if you had tried," Brandie grinned. "I know I'm attractive. You think you're the first boy who's had salacious thoughts about me? Every single male student with any heterosexual tendencies at all at my old college, even the ones who also find men attractive, wanted my body. And every boy at my high school who was at all interested in girls wanted it, too. Heck, the female students who find girls attractive wanted me at both schools as well."
How on earth could she have known that? I'm sure some of the boys and girls were shy enough not to approach her.
"May I ask if you ever took any of them up on their intentions?"
"You may. The answer is yes. One boy, then one girl, then a different boy, over the course of my two years at junior college. You've been with two girls, one at the very end of your senior year of high school for a one-night stand, and one your freshman year of college for a three-month relationship."
What the...?
"How could you possibly have known that?"
"No one can keep secrets from me... or my mom."
I fell silent. After we arrived at the rental place, Louise turned in the truck and took over the driving.
"What do you think of my daughter, Mark?"
"She's... remarkable."
"And attractive."
I blushed. "And that."
"And you want to perform sexual acts with her, but you're very well trained, and you're intending to wait until she initiates things."
I sighed. "I'm just trying -"
"To be nice," Louise interrupted. "Don't feel embarrassed. Brandie is a lovely young woman. All men are horndogs at their core. The only difference between you and a rapist is that you've been trained not to act on your primal impulses until the woman says you can."
My face was beet red. "How..."
"Don't worry," Louise giggled. "Women have sexual urges that are just as strong as men's. I'm sure it won't be long before Brandie wants to molest your body."
I tried to divert the conversation. "May I take you two to dinner tonight?"
It worked. Louise smiled and replied, "I think I should be treating you, since you volunteered to help us."
We had dinner at a local steakhouse. Louise and Brandie each ordered a blue steak (raw on the inside), and I had mine medium rare.
By now I had figured out what was happening. Plus, Brandie's smile had showed off her fangs.
"Is that enough to... sate you?"
"No. We need human blood. But not as much as you might think. We don't have to go around biting people on the neck and completely draining their blood. In fact, it's bad for us if we do."
Louise added more information. "We usually make an arrangement with the local blood banks to supply us. We pay money, of course."
"One unit per fortnight per vampire is sufficient," Brandie contributed.
I slowly sliced another bite of my steak and chewed it. That wasn't the only thing I had to chew over. My new neighbors were vampires. Who got their blood from blood banks. And one of them was my age, probably taking some of the same classes as me, and I was - I had to admit it - attracted to her. A lot. And she knew it.
What was I supposed to do now?
"You're supposed to ask me for another date, silly."
"May I come over tomorrow evening and cook for the two of you charming and beautiful ladies?"
"You don't have to include my mom in your plans."
"I want her to get to like me before I -"
Louise raised her hand, and I stopped my flow of words.
"I understand you've been conditioned to do things in a human way, Mark, but you're now on a whole new playing field. Both my daughter and I read your mind and scanned your full intentions before you even made it over to shake hands."
I dropped my eyes and stared at my plate.
"We know you find Brandie to be gorgeous. We know you want to engage in sexual congress with her and have her be your girlfriend, and you intend to propose marriage after you finish college and get a job."
A fleck of parsley on the side of my plate was drawing my complete visual attention now.
"You have been conditioned well and have kept yourself in good shape physically. Brandie and I think you will make a very acceptable companion to her."
I finally looked up, locking eyes with the older woman.
"Can we at least pretend that you don't know everything about me and that I am trying to be nice and court your daughter properly?"